I just have to say that this isn't really Twilight fan-fiction, nor Harry Potter for that matter. It's a mix. I noticed on fan-fiction.net that loads of people were Scrivere them, so I thought I'd give it a go myself. So, anyway, here it is:

Chapter One- The Essence of a Fan

'Edward, we Amore you!'
'No, I Amore him more'
'I swear on Jacob's life that I Amore Edward più than you'
'How does that work? te don't even like Jacob'
'Do too, I'm on Team Switzerland'
'Then te can't Amore Edward more- te Amore them both'
'Edward come back!'
Harry jumped out the way as two screaming girls flew past. His black hair whipped around his head in a frenzy, even though he was indoors, and his glasses, that usually covered his vivid green eyes, were sliding rapidly off the end of his nose.
Once the high-pitched screaming had died away, Harry set off towards the Gryffindor Tower once more.
On the way Harry passed three più girls fretting in the corner. One of them was crying.
'What-if-he's-not-in-the-mooovie!' The girl stuttered between sobs.
'Are te okay?' Harry addressed the girl that was sobbing.
'What?' She gripped the lapels of his robes in anger. 'You know that Taylor's gonna be in New Moon, don't you? Tell meee.' She began squealing and sobbing again. Talk about a mood swing.
Harry stepped back, aghast.
'Just ignore her, I've told her again and again not to worry, I mean, he's perfect as Jake.' One of her Friends explained, but it just went straight over Harry's head.
'Of course he isn't, he isn't tall enough o buff enough. Dog-lover.' detto another.
The first two girls started to wail and whine at this commento in a fashion that could out-do Moaning Myrtle anyday. Harry walked away. Quickly. Something strange had come over the girls at Hogwarts- Harry would rather try and have a sensible conversation with a three headed dog than a girl nowadays.
Harry finally made it to the common room, after directing yet più gaggles of girls towards the qudditch pitch; he'd made out from the that some guy named Edward was practicing there. Who on Earth was he?
Harry fought through the crowds of even più girls (this time they had there noses in libri with erratic sobs and squeals bursting from them) to get to the comfy chairs da the fire, where Ron was waiting for him.
'Got a data for the Yule Ball yet?' Ron asked, his freckles moving up and down his face as he spoke.
'Nah,' replied Harry.
'Me neither.' Ron sighed. 'It's so hard, they just hang around in groups, how're te supposed to get of them alone to ask?'
Harry just shrugged.
'And, to superiore, in alto it all off-' Ron began, when, as if they had all been cued, all the girls looked up from their libri and screamed. '-they can only speak squeal!'
Harry looked blankly at Ron, he should know da now not to attempt to talk over that.
'SHUT UP.' Ron had rose from his chair to shout against the screams. His attack had only made them scream louder. Ron sank back into his chair in defeat.
'Yeah,' Harry said, 'I think I know what te mean.'
The screaming stopped, suddenly. It was unusual to say the least. Harry and Ron both peered over their chairs to see if it was definantly sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza to speak again. The scene, however, was not what they expected.
Instead of the eager ruffle of pages and crooning sounds coming for each girl there was a still silence. All heads were turned towards the port hole, and curiousity had even won over most the boys- these boys weighed comfort over noise level, accepted the screaming, and chose to remain in the common room- who were facing the same direction also.
Following everyone else's lead, Harry turned to face the room's entrance. A girl with bold, red hair had grabbed everyone's attention da holding up a photo. Harry blinked. It was Ginny.
'I did it.' She exclaimed. 'I got Edward's autograph.'
The screams started again as the picture got passed around, it was similar to a mexican wave.
For some reason the foto landed in Harry's lap. He picked it up.
'I don't get it,' he detto to Ron, 'it's just a picture of Diggory, and last time I checked his name was Cedric, not Edmund.'
'Let me see.' Ron stared at Cedric's face as if he would walk out of the picture and give way for the allusive Edward. After a secondo he said, 'it's Diggory alright.'
Before Harry could utter a 'duh', the picture was snatched from Ron's hand's with a cry of 'stop hogging him.' Harry watched in disbelief as the girl kissed the moving picture just as another girl grabbed it for her own delight.
'Weird.' Harry and Ron muttered at the same time. They were still shaking their heads in confusion when Ginny came and sat successivo to them.
'Hey guys.' She smiled.
'Why'd te have to bring that thing in here?' Ron complained. 'Everyone's having fits over it.' He paused to think. 'Who is this Edgar-' (Ginny frowned as Ginny detto the name incorrectly)'-anyway?'
'Yeah.' Harry backed Ron up.
'It's Edward, and if te must know he's the most perfect guy in the world.' Ginny replied, and in response to their looks of confusion again, she added, 'he sparkles too.' A squeal forced itself from her mouth.
'Now I know your not talking about Diggory. Sparkles? What a joke!' Ron said. He was really disgusted now, his ears were turning a dark shade of red.
'I'm not joking,' cried Ginny as she stood up, 'he's not called Cedric, he's Edward, and if te must call him da his surname, use Cullen!' She stomped away in a rage. While pulling her foto back off another crazed girl it ripped. This set off another defeaning wave of cries.
'I'm off to bed,' mouthed Ron over the commotion.
'Why? It's only seven thirty,' mouthed back Harry.
'It's either the boys dormentries o the library, there the only quiet places left.' Ron left Harry da the fire.
After five minuti of trying to do his potions essay over the wails, Harry chose the boys dormentries too.

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