I recently read an post from Twilight widower on Twilight Widowers Anonymous( it's a support site for husbands, boyfriends and life partners of Twilight addicts). It cracked me up and i want to share it with you.
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As te can imagine, since
the foto of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and te can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop da the local sporting goods store and brought home a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, da way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks fa I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while fa over the cena table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like te want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. random gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing te up for Pianoforte lessons ("You detto te wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. te are certain she keeps calling te da a different name (“No, te misheard me… I detto “I Amore you, onward!”)
6. She makes te stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting te come to letto (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages te at work and te hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if te want to read some più link
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As te can imagine, since
the foto of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and te can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop da the local sporting goods store and brought home a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, da way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks fa I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while fa over the cena table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like te want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. random gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing te up for Pianoforte lessons ("You detto te wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. te are certain she keeps calling te da a different name (“No, te misheard me… I detto “I Amore you, onward!”)
6. She makes te stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting te come to letto (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages te at work and te hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if te want to read some più link
Hey,
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know te guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If te want te can give me ideas that te have and ill make a story for te but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be Scrivere stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know te guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If te want te can give me ideas that te have and ill make a story for te but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be Scrivere stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Last one for today. ^_^
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint o something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! te tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them o should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint o something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! te tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them o should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
I confuse Sunrise with
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my Frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me Amore Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to sposta on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope te like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my Frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me Amore Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to sposta on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope te like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
EDWARD'S pisello COAT
''Everybody wants to know where his pisello cappotto came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture o color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final design on a combination of other styles of pisello coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
''Everybody wants to know where his pisello cappotto came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture o color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final design on a combination of other styles of pisello coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
The Couples
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be postato soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so te understood what was happening .Please tell me if te think it is good.
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be postato soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so te understood what was happening .Please tell me if te think it is good.
These are the rest of the characters.
Lily Troscout a.k.a Lily Troscout
Jason Dolley,Jason Earle,and Mitchell Musso
Mitchell is with Lily.
David and Daniel Azel
Donna Azel is married to Chris Brown so she is Donna Brown.
Tiffany Thornton,Claire Thornton,and The Thornton Quints
Peter and Simon Azel
Ritchie and Marcia Thornton
The successivo one will be the family and friends.
I will make the successivo one really long.I wrote it in my book it is 3 pages but I am still not finished.
PLEASE COMMENT,RATE,AND GET PEOPLE TO READ AND DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lily Troscout a.k.a Lily Troscout
Jason Dolley,Jason Earle,and Mitchell Musso
Mitchell is with Lily.
David and Daniel Azel
Donna Azel is married to Chris Brown so she is Donna Brown.
Tiffany Thornton,Claire Thornton,and The Thornton Quints
Peter and Simon Azel
Ritchie and Marcia Thornton
The successivo one will be the family and friends.
I will make the successivo one really long.I wrote it in my book it is 3 pages but I am still not finished.
PLEASE COMMENT,RATE,AND GET PEOPLE TO READ AND DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that te and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her te are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that te and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her te are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever te can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When te go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.
3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what te will be doing in five minuti every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1. email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
Source: link
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever te can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When te go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.
3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what te will be doing in five minuti every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1. email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
Source: link