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posted by Renesmee_XD
This is not a copy of 100 things not to say to edward and jacob.. even if some a elements are quite like it

1 I will not walk into the Cullen’s house wearing garlic.

2 I will not walk into la push wearing lupo bane

3 Throwing holy water at Edward and screaming the power of Christ compels te isn’t funny.

4 Neither is throwing riso o anything else at any one in the book is.

5 Asking Jacob if he’s imprinted yet isn’t funny.

6 o is it funny to ask this every 5 minutes.

7 I shouldn’t ask Leah what it’s like to loose your boyfriend to your cousin is like.

8 I shouldn’t ask Emily what it’s like to steal your cousin’s boyfriend.

9 I shouldn’t ask Sam what it’s like to be stolen

10 I shouldn’t introduce Emmett to Hentia

11 o yaoi

12 o Yuri

13 I shouldn’t encourage Emmett to become the super hero Hentai man and fight the evil FCC and other censoring companies.

14 I will not encourage Jasper to become Edward’s sidekick: Yaoi boy

15 Nor will I encourage Alice to become Yuri girl.

16 I will not call Rosalie Hentai man’s wife and mother of Yuri girl and Yaoi boy, limone Women

17 Even if it rhymes.

18 Jacob isn’t lupo boy and enemy to Hentai man

19 Trying to make a Cullen become Jewish is like trying to sposta a rhino with a hippo on his back.

20 mostrare Edward Yaoi fanficks with Jacob o any one else will make him mad.

21Same goes for Jacob

22 I’m not to throw things at the Volturi.

23 Especially Jane

24 Sending Aro Amore letters from Carlisle isn’t allowed.

25 Even if he already might get them.

26 Sending letters to Jacob saying I’ve left Edward and will wait for te in Londra signed Bella, only worked once.

27 I will not name Jacob fluffy

28 Edward isn’t Bat Man

29 o Dracula

30 Playing paintball with Emmett at school gets te suspended.

31 Carlisle isn’t Jesus

32 Even if he can run on water.

33 Nor is any Cullen

34 Cutting yourself in front of Jasper, no matter how emo te are, isn’t smart.

35 Telling Edward real men sparkle doesn’t do anything because he does, but it annoys Jacob greatly.

36 The Cullens enjoy me dressing up as a vampire much più than Jacob enjoys me dressing up as a werewolf.

37 I won’t give Jacob a flea color

38 o a doggy biscotto when he does something right

39 o a chew toy, etc.

40 Begging won’t make Edward turn into a bat.

41 I won’t give Edward a coffin

42 I won’t give Edward depression meds.

43 I wont run around in front of Jasper with a union flag and say We won and te Lost makes the room feel cold with sorrow.

44 I won’t make money using Alice as a fortune teller.

45 I won’t make money using Rosalie as a mechanic

46 Carlisle is a medical doctor not a dentist and doesn’t want to see my cavity.

47 I will not break Esme’s house and blame it on Emmett, even though it worked twice.

48 Introducing Stephenie Meyer to the Cullens will makes her faint.

49 Same goes for her publisher

50 And all his fan girls

51 I won’t call the people who work at the mental hospitals on Alice.

52 Even if she twitches

53 I won’t say pretty pretty shiny shiny and stalk Edward around.

54 I won’t tell Bella: “Do te enjoy making Jacob think he has a chance and then leave him to cry himself to sleep?”

55 I won’t make the weekly Alice vs Edward in a chess match that is in side there minds doesn’t get many ratings.

56 How ever Rosalie modeling does.

57 I will not force feed the Cullens human Cibo and ask him what it taste like, even though I know the answer will always be dirt.

58 Asking Bella to Cliff dive brings up bad memories.

60 So do motorcycles.

61 There was no number 59, and that trick only works once on the Cullens

62 It works twice on the werewolves

63 No matter how much I beg, Jacob won’t make La Push into a Casino

64 Apparently the Cullens won’t buy Forks, with their endless money, and make it a casino either.

65 The Cullens aren’t alive even if I try to prove it.

66 Is 600 numbers away from an evil number, but doesn’t make Carlisle flinch like I hoped.

67 Throwing crosses at any Cullen aren’t funny.

68 o is it funny to surround the house with crosses and a magic cerchio while trying to foca, guarnizione the evil magic doesn’t work

69 I will not introduce this number to Emmett.

70 I won’t make the above number a t-shirt and give it to Emmett.

71 I won’t tell the story of Carlisle’s first computer: He threw riso at it and yelled the power of Christ compels you!

72 repeat: I won’t right on things on the Cullen’s skin.

73 I then will not push them into the sun were when the sparkle the words shine in yellow highlighter on whatever is in front of them.

74 I won’t play paint ball in the house.

75 I won’t call Jacob houndoom, even though I think he’s a pokemon.

76 Edward, however, laughs when te call him a pokemon.

77 but only the first 5 times.

78 Bella laughs 10 times

79 I won’t buy Emmett a monkey

80 I won’t break Rosalie’s car

81 I won’t make Edward stella, star on Jeopardy, even though he won.

82 o Alice

83 o at the same time to see which one will win

84 I won’t mostra Edward fanfiction

85 I won’t mostra Jacob fanfiction

86 I won’t buy Emmett a pappagallo and get him to become a pirate

87 I won’t send 100 poodles to the Cullen’s residence, saying Alice bought them

88 I won’t start a war between the Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. and the werewolves

89 I won’t call Jacob Sam’s homeboy

90 I won’t call Edward Carlisle’s homeboy

91 I won’t tell Edward Bella left him for Jacob

92 I won’t tell mike the same thing.

93 I won’t tell Jacob the opposite

94 I am not a vampire hunter, even if I have a crossbow.

95 I won’t shoot my crossbow at the Cullens.

96 I won’t try to kill the licantropi with silver.

97 Wooden steaks don’t work on vampires

98 I won’t use this as a checklist if I ever get sucked into twilight.

99 I won’t try to get sucked into twilight, da begging Stephenie Meyer, it won’t work.

100 I will not start a war between the Cullens and the Volturi, even though I know who will win.

101 I will never ask Edward if he has ever seen the 100 anno old virgin.
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