Klassic Kinect Krap

Announcer: LEGEND OF ZELDA: WIND WAKER HD!!! (Not caring) It’s pretty
Narrator: Evil guy came, hero killed him, he left, evil guy came back, killed everyone. GAMEPLAY TIME!
Aryl: Happy birthday brother
Link: It’s not my birthday
Aryl: It is now
Link: If te say so
(Later)
Grandma: Fuck te Link. Now takes these clothes and get out of my site
Link: I hate clothes
(Later)
Link: I hate telescopes (Looks through it and sees the Postman) I hate postmen (Looks up to see a giant bird) I hate birds (Drops girl into forest) I hate girls falling to their deaths in the woods…. Oh, and I hate references to...

Link: Man, this job is a lot più fun than I thought (Kills monster) I mean, when do I get to help someone da killing someone (Kills another monster) It’s very rare I get to help out someone and actually have fun doing it (Kills another monster) Okay, I think I finally have enough of these things hearts…. But, I’m in no rush (Continues to kill monsters, then, hears music) What is that? Is it an angel. I got to find it (Hears Musica behind waterfall) What is this. The Musica is coming from behind this waterfall (Climbs through waterfall, leading to an empty cave) Oh, a secret cave. Good...

Komoli: Hey, te want to play my game
Link: Uh... no
Komoli: Please, play my game........ No one does. Please play it
Link: Fine...... Give me fifty rupees
Komoli: Okay
Link: Really?
Komoli: Yeah, I don't give a shit. As long as te play my game
Link: Okay (Plays game) Well, this was... a surprisingly fun game
Komoli: Hey, thanks. Hey, can te help
Link: And I was just starting to like you
Komoli: I need te to go and find my new employee. His names Baito
Link: Okay
Komoli: te can't miss him. He's outside... and he's the only guy here other than te who isn't a bird person
Link: Got it
(Later, outside)
Baito:...

Link: So, Tetra, what do we do now
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were te dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like te don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving...

Link: Okay, so, who is the successivo helpless idiot we need to help
Tetra: Well, the successivo person on the lista is a girl named Maggie.
Link: Go on
Tetra: Well, she is a rich girl and-
Link: Stop right there. That's all I needed to hear. If she's rich, she must be beautiful
Tetra: Uh, Link, I don't think te should-
Link: Shut up, you're not fucking me over like last time
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Link: Okay, so, where can we find Maggie
Maggie's Father: Oh, hello. How can I help you
Link: Hey, I am here to help your daughter
Maggie's Father: Yeah, who cares? Why don't te help me? I need te to go and...

So, there are people out there who prefer Anime over western cartoni animati and there are people who prefer western cartoni animati over anime. Me, personally, well, if te asked me at the age of seven, I would have detto western. But, dato the shit we see today, I think its obvious that Anime is still making better shows. Sure, they're no Samurai Jack, Teen Titans, o Avatar: The Last Airbender, but te know what else they aren't? Teen Titans GO, Annoying arancia, arancio TV Show, and everything on Nick. So, some genius thought of a way to make an Anime that has the western style animation. That mostra would be the...

Nate: (Smashes a zombies head in with a bat) (Stops) Hold on. Now, if you're going to get any idea of what is going on, I think its best that we start from the beginning
(July 12th... One giorno from Outbreak)
Nate: (Sleeping in bed) (Alarm clock rings and wakes him up) (Gets out of bed)
Chris: (Watching television)
Nate: (Walks in wearing a store uniform) Chris, when did te wake up
Chris: Oh. I never slept
Nate: I see....... Anyway, I'm going to get to work, okay. te just do... Whatever
Chris: Yep
Nate: (Walks out of the house)
Chris: (Keeps watching TV)

(10:00 AM.... 18 Hours Until Outbreak)
Nate: (Standing...

Ganondorf: Ha ha, no doubt my giant black guard killed Link. (Laughs)
Tetra: I honestly could care less about him
Ganondorf: Now, nothing can stop-
Link: There te are, te fuckign cheater
Ganondorf: Goddamn it, I have..... wait, what is that...... te hold the final triforce piece
Link: Yeah, so wha- (Ganondorf slaps Link)
GanondorF: I'll be taking that (Picks up Triforce piece) Yoink. Finally, I have all three pieces (Giant Triforce appears) Ha ha ha. I did it. I got the Triforce. I'm so happy, I'm actually not going to kill te all
Tetra: Really
Ganondorf: (Laughs) No, your all so fucked
Link: Hey,...

King of Red Lions: Now that we have all the orbs, we can finally place them on three islands and get into another temple
Link: FUUUUUUUU-

Blue Statue: (Heavy sigh)
Link: So, are te one of the statues I have to, for some reason, place a ball on
Blue Statue: Whatever
Link: Um.... Okay (Places ball on statue)

Red Statue: Who the fuck are you
Link: Um... I came to give te this ball
Red Statue: Get the fuck out of my face
Link: I'll just place it here (Places ball on statue)

Green Statue: Wow, man, welcome, bro
Link: Yeah, can te hold this
Green Statue: Sure man, I'll hold your ball....... Oh man, man, that...

~A Desire of Knowledge~
*Benny was sitting at his desk, the lab that he sat within da his lonesome was dark except for the single computer in front of him, lingering over him, the glare hitting his face as he worked in the night. The cool, autumn wind blew through the open window and brushed against him as he continued to work. A strange phenomenon was going on in the world of science. A strange artifact was found floating amongst space. It was something that no one on their own could tell what it was. The thought of what it could be drove Benny to utter hysteria, as he was obsessed on finding...

Wind: (Sleeping)
Mom: Wind, wake up
Wind: (Wakes up) What, mom?
Mom: te overslept again. Were te too excited for the festival
Wind: Kinda, but that’s only because that festival is the only interesting thing that happens in this damn village
Mom: Well, you’d better hurry. And remember. I want te to behave yourself
Wind: Sure… I’ll be sure to behave myself

Wind: (Walking into the festival) Okay, so, what should I do fi- (Gets bumped into)
Marle: (Falls onto the ground)
Wind: Goddamn, it watch where you’re going
Marle: (Drops her locket)
Wind: (Picks it up) (What a nice locket. Maybe I could...

(Light appears from ocean)
King of Red Lions: Here it is, the portal to the sacred realm
Link: Are te sure it isn't hell
King of Red Lions: Of course not..... Except for the fact that this sacred realm only has Dubstep. I hate dubstep. But, it does hold the sacred saber, so head to get the sacred saber stuck in the sacred plinth in the sacred realm
Link: What makes this place so sacred, exactly
King of Red Lions: I......... Don't know. Just go and get the sword
Link: Fine
(Link and King of Red Lions go into ocean)

(Link and King of Red Lions rise from ocean)
King of Red Lions: There, are te okay Link...

King of Red Lions: Ah, here we are. Forest Haven
Link: If its a haven, then why is there a temple that is possibly filled with demonic hellspawns
King Red of Lions: ........................................... Anyway, just go and meet the Great Deku Tree
Link: Wait, didn't that guy die in the past games
King of Red Lions: Yeah, but were in a different game, so its okay
Link: Oh okay

Link: Okay, so where is this giant tree
Great Deku Tree: Oh, hello there, good sir
Link: Who are you
Great Deku Tree: I am the Great Deku Tree....... obviously. I am the only albero in the world with a face
Link: So, where is...

Link: (Wakes up) Ow, sweet Gesù that sucked
???: Ah, good to see your awake
Link: Who detto that? Are te a ghost
???: No (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. The King of Red Lions. Your new sidekick
Link: AHHHHHH
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you
Link: Well yes
King of Red Lions: I guess its the fact that I can talk
Link: No
King of Red Lions: Well, it happens a lo- Wait, no?
Link: Yeah. I was startled that te weren't annoying. I mean, most sidekicks are like this
Navi: ciao LISTEN ciao LISTEN
Link: o this
Kebora Gebora: If te are ever lost, look at your map. Now stay there while I tell you...

Tetra: So, now that we are here, are te ready to go on an amazing adventure to save your sister
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do te mean da no
Link: te see, my mother used to tell me stories of a Ribelle - The Brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed da spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure te I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra:...