"The Rules" from the male side
We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. te need it down. te don’t hear us complaining about te leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon o the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
8. Ask for what te want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable risposte to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if te want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Anything we detto 6 months fa is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all commenti become Null and void after 7 Days.
12. If te think you’re fat, te probably are. Don’t ask us.
13. If something we detto can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes te sad o angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something o tell us how te want it done. Not both. If te already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever te have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. zucca is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and te say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know te are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If te ask a domanda te don’t want an answer to, expect an answer te don’t want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything te wear is fine… Really!
22. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless te are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, o Cars.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
26. Thank te for Leggere this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the divano tonight, but did te know men really don't mind that, it’s like camping.
