"Father and Daughter"

Socialite: hello there!

???: who are you?

Socialite: well... Many people call me the Socialite, but te can call me Johnny

???: why do they call te that?

Socialite: umm...

*Woosh*

Socialite: I'll slit him if te hold him down

Kage: sure!

*Woosh*

Socialite: no real reason...

Nick: my name is nick

Socialite: well nick, do te want to be friends?

Nick: I barely know te *walks away*

Socialite: dam*it

*later*

2Spooky: how did it go?

Socialite: what do te think?

2Spooky: I think of cows most of the time

Socialite: ugh...

ToTheArk: Caller got me...

Porter: we have to get te out of here!

ToTheArk: nah... my time has ran out...

Porter: wow... te are really optimistic about this...

ToTheArk: no... its just the venom...

Porter: oh

ToTheArk: te guys go... I will NOT go out without a fight

Porter: Clockwork! hold my hand!

Clockwork: I barley know you...

Porter: not like that! I'm going to teleport us out of here!

Clockwork: oh... *holds Porter's hand*

Porter: ok... think of someplace that Zalgo will never find us...

ToTheArk: Oregon!

Porter: thats a great id- *teleports*

Trevor: *walks in* nice fake death...

ToTheArk: thanks... but Caller did actually get pissed at me

Caller: I am not a ripoff!

Boots: ... (yes te are)

Slender: oh my god...

Lucius: ciao guys! i'm home! with another fuc*ing captive!

Porter: sit her on the couch! te need to see this!

Slender: *hands letter to Lucius*

d3AR mR, sL3NDER.

dU3 t0 oRD3RS bY l0RD zALG0 i hAV3 tAK3N y0UR pR0XY tiCCi t0BY aND y0UR bR0TH3R sPL3ND0RMAN, s00N i wiLL tAK3 m0R3 0F yOUR fRI3NDS uNTiLL iT wiLL b3 jUST y0U. aL0N3 liK3 wH3N y0U l3FT m3 t0 di3? i h0P3 tHAT tH3R3 iS n0 hARD f33LiNGS. y0U w3R3 tH3 m0ST ciViL bACK tH3N,

siNC3R3LY. cRYPT

Lucius: who is cRYPT?

Slender: an old Friend of mine...

Lucius: ok, who are you?

Clockwork: my name is Clockwork

Lucius: oh, your that girl that Ticci Toby says is cute

Clockwork: what? he detto that about me?

Lucius: *pulls out DiPhone* ciao Masky, te owe me 20 bucks

Maksy: FU-

Lucius: *hangs up* so... who do te work for? SCP? SOK?

Clockwork: Zalgo

Lucius: oh... umm... SLEEP GAS!

*BANG*

Clockwork: wai- *flop*

Lucius: ok... how the hell am I supposed to get her to the house?

Me: da THE POWER OF PLOTHOLES!

Lucius: lets just say I have a car...

Me: fine...