Okay. Finally time to write this thing now I've decided on a definite order. Disney Princess Couples... The very backbone of the Disney Princess franchise, bar Mulan. Of course, this lista won't be biased in any way and I won't be basing how low I place a couple on how much I hate the characters in them(!) Hmm, yeah right. Because after all, how are te supposed to enjoy a couple if the characters make te want to puke? I don't care if they have chemistry o a beautiful duet... It just ain't fucking happening.

te should know da now that this is going to be one big piss take full of swearing and other such vulgar language. Complain, and you'll just be ignored. o I'll e-shout at you. And you'll look stupid. Jus' sayin'.











9) Belleast

This, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I hate Belle.
Who am I kidding? This couple is just grotesque to behold. As if Belle isn't puke-worthy enough, she decided to rub some of her awful personality all over what was a good character and make the whole film unbearable. Beast is amazing when he's a stubborn angry beastial dick. Then it's all "oh, I shall sip my tè nicely and be refined" and the whole film just goes to shit. What? No! Either keep him a dick o don't make him a dick at all. The only good part of the Belleast relationship is Beast's complete failure at being refined, for it makes me lol. This is why I reeeeeally prefer the sequels. Because EC is just a bunch of "My name is Forte. I'm the ugliest organ te ever saw and human me is just WOAH. It's horrible, but when it's gone te long for more. Also, I'm voiced da Tim curry and I sing. I'm awesome! Anyway, my 'best friend' is the Beast but he's not really my best friend and I make him miserable so he'll be too sad to go 'Ew Forte, this piece is fucking DEPRESSING' all the time so I'm using an irritating piccolo to break him and Belle up. I'll fail, but you'll enjoy watching it." Beast is so lol in that film. He falls on the ice and he's like "I fell on my... THE ICE." He's lol in Belle's Magical World as well which I fucking Amore no matter what anyone says because most of it is just like "Belle? Is that a character in this film?" because there's this one bit where Belle is Leggere to him and he's eating these things in a bowl and being really loud and she's like "OMG, STOP EATING!" and he's like "BUT THEY'RE MY FAVWUT! *spits crumbs everywhere*"
...Anyway, I really hate Belleast. Belle ruined a perfectly good character with her horrifyingly perfect perfectness. Damn that bookworm! *fist shake*






8) Snow Prince

Ok, back to being cliche again. I just don't like the way this couple plays out. They might be sweet together o whatever but I don't really give a shit. I'm not into romance o any of that crud. Which makes this whole lineup lolage in itself, but y'know.
It starts off with a guy in lipstick jumping into Snow's garden and being like "BUT I ONLY WANTED TO SING TO YOU!" and then blasting everyone's already distraught eardrums. Somehow, they fall in Amore for no reason (this is starting to sound like one of my crossovers...) and Snow is like killed da her step mother because obviously if your father marries again then he just HAS to marry an evil child-hating homicidal cagna for no reasoning te can decipher other than the sex is probably rather good. So he goes all necrophilliac on her arse and tries to have his way with her dead corpse... But she wakes up. He's so shit scared that he starts smiling and kidnaps her, obviously so that he can kill her again at home and do whatever it was he was getting at before she suddenly went all "I AM RESURRECTED. HEAR ME ROAR!"... o something like that. He might actually Amore her and want to make her his bride and was baciare her in the hope that it helps him to relieve his pain o some shit similar to that but it wasn't what I saw.






7) Charmerella

This is a very shallow and quick relationship but I don't really care. As unattractive as I find Charming (and how much of a dick he is) I like how they go together and stuff.
I hate that So This Is Amore song (cue a bunch of "OH WHAT? I LURVE THAT SONG!") and I don't really like their dancing either and I don't really like their marriage or... Well, ok, so this is a big lista of "I don't like" but I'm going to throw the sequel in here. I FUCKING Amore THEM IN Cenerentola 3. Charming got weirdly cute and Cinders is so badass... They just fit. I Amore the way Charming actually seems to *care* about the girl he danced with at the ball rather than having that "Oh Dukey, go fetch me that rather pretty wench that pleased me at the ball for I'm all up for a bit of a jolly time with her again!" attitude. However, the original will always drag them down.







6) Philrora

A lot of people like this couple... I'm not that keen. Aurora is very boring to me, as is Phillip, and the whole romance is just one big yawn. As impressive as that song and dance routine should have been, it was about as boring as the film. I like how Phillip is so determined to be with her but... Eh, just no. They really don't hit it for me.






5) Alasmine

I like this couple. ("At last!" thinks everyone)
I Amore Aladdin and gelsomino individually and I think they make a beautiful couple... But.
Yes, there's a but. A Whole New World... Just no. That song is so overrated. It makes Aladdin sound like Justin Beiber *shudder*, who is just grotesque before I get any wise cracks about that. As if I'm sinking to using their duet as a valid reason for not liking them as much. Ha.
The thing is, I do like them... I just like the others more.






4) Eriel

Even though they're a very shallow couple, I Amore them. I Amore how they fit together and Ariel's all awkward and Eric's all "LOL YOU'RE FUNNY!".
Plus, I just adore how eager Ariel is and how much it freaks Eric out, even though he thinks she's hot and that's the only real reason he took pity on her. But of course, being hot has nothing on being able to sing.
I Amore following their story and the baciare The Girl scene, no matter how romantic it is. To be blunt, they just make me lol. If I had to choose a DP couple my dA fanfic's couple was most similar to, I'd definitely say Eriel. I Amore a couple that isn't just about Amore o feeling but about being with someone te enjoy being with... Someone that makes te laugh, makes te happy when you're sad and always brings a smile to your face.






3) Shulan

SHOCKHORROR, SHULAN ARE THIS HIGH?!
Well running off from what I just said, these two aren't romantic. Heck, it's pretty much their first data at the end of the original. I'm including the sequel again because I just Amore me some sequel and I adore how sweet and friendly they are together. They're much più of a "SHANG, te MAKE ME LOL!" and a "MULAN, YOU'RE SUCH A CLUTZ LOL!" couple than a "The sun only rises in my life if your face is shining within it o some equally gross bullshit like that" couple.
It just helps that I adore Mulan and Shang as characters and when they come together... I wouldn't say I Amore them more, but I still Amore it.






2) Pocajohntas

Now to be a big hypocrite and place the most romantic DP couple at 2nd in my list.
This is just because they're hot, to be blunt. Smithy is hot, Poca is hot, their passion is hot. They don't just have a little peck o cuddle. They grapple each other and make out and get all touchy-feely. This probably has something to do with the fact that in Smithy's eyes Poca is practically naked and she's sexy as hell anyway which is one fiery combination. It's basically the equivalent of, say, Megan volpe in a stringy bikini walking up to a guy that hasn't seen a woman in months and falling passionately in Amore with him to the point he wouldn't believe.
The only thing I don't like about them is the sequel. Which I rewatched today. Now, I like that film. I really do. BUT THE ENDING. OH GOOD LORD, IT'S HORRIBLE TO WATCH. I was close to tears when she's like "Our paths crossed once. I must leave you." and Smithy's face is like someone just slaughtered a cucciolo in front of him. WHAT THE FUCK, POCA? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHYYYY? This really pissed my Grandma off. She was like "why do te watch it if te don't like it?" and I was like "because I like the film but the ending really sucks, gaduh." and even my Grandma was like "WAIT, SHE TURNED DOWN HIM? FOR HIM? What is this, EastEnders? This reminds me awfully of Libby and Darren." and I was like "LOL why?" and she was like "Well, she was with a sweet guy who loved her and she still loves him... He makes one mistake. Well, in this case, faking his death to escape hanging for treason... AND SHE LEAVES HIM FOR THE MOST IRRITATING DICK SHE CAN FIND? When's Pocahontas 3 so Rolfe can ruin her life da selling exam results for sex?" I lol'd so hard.
...I like to get off topic, huh? Anyway, even Pocajohntas can't be the two and only...






1) Tianaveen

Oh look, it's the biggest surprise of the century!
LOL, not really. I fucking Amore Naveen and I Amore Tiana... I queued for an ora to meet them at Disneyland Paris, that's how much I Amore them. Naveen with a French accent is sexy beyond belief. He detto achidanza to me. Ahhhh! :'D
Anyway, yes. This is how a "OMG I HATE YOU!" to "OMG I Amore YOU!" relationship should go, Disney. Change the faulty character, but don't ruin them in the process. Naveen might not be a woman-hungry slob anymore but he's still hot, got a sexy voice and is totally amazing in every way, shape and form.
The main thing I Amore about them is how they act together. When Naveen holds that cena and he's so clumsy and cute... I almost died of awwwness. That was so sweet and amazing! And when he realises that he can't be with her and he tries to give her the one thing she desires most in the world because she's his Evangeline. OMGAWWWW. AND WHEN SHE REALISES THAT IT'S NOT WHAT SHE WANTS WITHOUT HIM. OMGTRIPLEAWWWW.
This is of the only things ever that is just the right level of cuteness to make me go "awww" and not "ewwww". That's why I fucking Amore them together.











That's your lot. Be gone.

*waits for Lullaby to arrive saying "I Amore how everyone uses my couple names :3"*

Here's some più Tianaveen to make te happy: