"I'm fine, just help me up," replied Princess Pea. "That damn carpet did that on purpose. It's probably halfway back to Agrabah da now."
"Where?"
"Oh just a land, a faraway place where the caravan cammels roam. Wow, this room sucks. te don't even have a Cioccolato fountain...I'm Princess Pea, da the way."
"My name's Cinderella."
"Well, nice meeting te whatever-you-just-said-your-name-was-but-it's-too-freaking-weird-for-me-to-remember. I gotta go."
"I'm afraid that's impossible," answered Cenerentola sadly. "You see, my stepmother locked me in here. The Grand Duke is going door to door to find the girl the prince wishes to marry...and I'm that girl! My stepmother somehow found out and is keeping me from ending my long life of suffering that I've been living since my father's death!"
"That's rough...do te da any chance have some lip gloss?" answered Pea. "I could use a little rosa glimmer."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Listen Cindy, can I call te Cindy?" began Pea. "If te want to reach this Grand Duke guy on time, you've gotta get out of here."
"But what can I do? It's hopeless."
"Oh, yeah why didn't I think of that? Because it's STUPID! te can't just sit on your culo waiting for things to fall into place! successivo you're going to expect a fairy to come along and magically solve your problems-"
"Well, actually," Cenerentola smiled slightly.
"You've gotta stop being a whiny victim! Do something with ya life, FOOL! Okay, I didn't mean to go all ghetto-fabulous on te with that last part. Here, I'll mostra you. Does this door look particularly strong to you?"
"I suppose not..."
"Then why not do this?" Princess pisello kicked the door with all her might and it fell out of the doorway. "Now let's go get te your man!"
"Oh, how can I ever thank you? Oh, te darling-"
"Cindy?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and go."
On the way down the attic steps, Princess pisello noticed two mice working their way up while carrying a key but decided to ignore them.
"Your grace, your grace!" called Cenerentola from the superiore, in alto of the main staircase. "Please, wait! May I try it on?"
"Oh, pay no attention to her!" detto some grey-haired lady with a stick up her ass.
"It's only Cinderella!" added a fugly redhead in a magenta dress.
"Would te bitches shut up?" pisello rolled her eyes. "Let the girl try on the damn shoe."
"Yes, my orders were to try it on every maiden!" answered the Grand Duke. "Come, my child..."
Just as the royal assistant came scurrying towards Cenerentola with the glass slipper on a pillowcase, the bitchy old hag put out her walking stick and tripped him, thus the shoe came smashing to the ground in pieces.
"You bitch!" yelled Pea. "She did that on purpose!"
"Are te gonna let her speak to te that way, Mother?" asked an even fuglier black-haired girl in a lime-green drss.
"How dare you!" replied Lady Tremaine. "I did no such thing! Who are te and what are te doing in my house?"
"She's a friend of mine," Cenerentola replied calmly.
"Cindy, why are te so calm? te just Lost your one shot at freedom."
"But that's just it, I didn't...you see," Cenerentola reached into her grembiule pocket. "I have the other slipper!"
The Grand Duke was filled with joy and placed the shoe on Cinderella's foot...a perfect fit.
"Oh, how can I ever thank you, Pea?" Cenerentola hugged the princess. "Why, if it weren't for you, I'd still be in the attic crying...oh, would te be my bridesmaid?"
"Well...I guess I...why not?" answered Pea. And though she was not usually one to tell people her true feelings, pisello was grateful to have finally made a true friend.
(End Of Part 7)
