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 Prepare to have your childhood crushed....
Prepare to have your childhood crushed....
(Some viewers may find this disturbing, viewer discretion advised. And I apologize if I spelled anything wrong.)

What the heck guys, what the hell! I didn't know humanity was so fu*ked up! I am warning te right now, this Fanfiction is very disturbing, it is intensely SCARY, and actually made me vomit AND it gave me a nightmare. Today in Toxic Fanfic Reviews, we are starting out with a bang, with,,,,,,,,,,,, Creation Of A Dry Bones, a Mario Fanfiction da the demented, I don't know his name, the Fanfic was so Arceus Awful that Fanfic.Net Took it down. Enough Messing around, because I may be going down, but I'm taking this fucker down with me.

Screw that, I don't want it anywhere NEAR ME. I'm sorry guys, but this isn't just a bad fanfic, it had the ability to kill hope, sanity, and it can change who te are. I don't even think I am old enough to read this, but let's just hurry this up. WORST FANFIC EVER, Creation Of A Dry Bones.

"A red koopa sat alone in his home, anxiously awaiting his lover's return from the castle. He stared at the tired reflection in his cup of coffee and wondered why the enlistment process was lasting into the AM. ..."

I didn't modifica anything, this is how the autore wrote this. He put a spazio after a period, and it only gets worse.

"The green soldier stood silent in the doorway for a moment, a letter clutched tightly in hand. Slowly and dragging his feet as he did, the koopa made his way from the door to the bed, climbing in and falling asleep without a word to his red partner. ... "

GOD DAMN IT HE DID IT AGAIN! *Sigh* Let's ignore that and really get to why this fanfic is so bad.

"Frustrated, the red koopa resigned to simply wretch the letter from his lover's hands. He took his sede, sedile once again and began to smooth out the sheet, noting the bright red Bowser insignia before turning it over to the side written on. With bags heavy under his eyes, the crimson tartaruga began to read the letter to himself."

Doesn't seem terrible at first, maybe I was wro-

"It was a formal letter at least da the Koopa Army's standards. First and foremost, it congratulated the green koopa for accepting enlistment in the largely volunteer Dry Bones troops. Secondly, it informed him of his new living quarters deep in a submerged castello outpost. Finally, it commended his bravery in accepting death to enter the troop be it da suicide o standard procedure."

Fuck te writer, what world do te live in? Suicide and death in a Mario fanfic? And it STILL gets MUCH worse.

"The red koopa's stomach churned the coffee that threatened to come back up. The thought of his lover dying da any means was enough to chill him, but to know it was willingly done threatened psychosomatic illness. ... As his stomach finally began to settle, the red tartaruga made his way back to the shared bed. He huddled up close to his lover, wrapped his arms around his waist, and fell into uneasy slumber as dawn came."

There is Amore in this? Alright that is kind of creepy, and does anybody know what's going on?

"It wasn't until late midday that one of the two began to wake up. The green soldier's eyes opened slowly and with a long yawn, he climbed out of the bed. He took a sede, sedile opposite from where the red koopa sat before and looked around their living spazio with new eyes. Everything in the room could kill him if he wished. The sink could be filled and drowned in, chemical cleaners underneath it gorged on to the point of a fatal poisoning, burn alive in the oven, o cut himself in a variety of ways with a variety of knives."

FUCK te WRITER! And readers of this review, this is your last chance. This is where the fanfic sends us to hell. If te are squeamish, o don't like pain o anything scary, PLEASE stop reading. Those who are staying, I am not going to censor ANYTHING. That would defeat the purpose of this review.

"He found it all not nearly dramatic enough until a look at his lover inspired him. A hanging with the letto cloth would proceed nicely with him taking the sheet, forming a noose to tie around the overhead lamp and having his corpse greet his soon to be cold lover. Wasting no time with an excitement not felt since he first entered Bowser's castello to enlist, the green soldier took the sheet from the letto and began to work."

Life can always get worse guys, this fanfic has taught me that the secondo I finished it when I was little, but più on that later....

"The plan fell apart within moments, the red koopa's eyes snapping open as soon as the sheet was pulled from him. ... His lover was suddenly sad enough to die and needed an emotional boost now. He pulled the green soldier's shoulder to bring him face to face and quickly sputtered what he wanted to save for later.
"W-we have to fuck, now!"

There is rape in this. I am not joking. I was never kidding, still not grossed out? WELL THIS IS FOR YOU!

"Using natural strength superior to his partner's, the red koopa quickly pinned the other's hands down against the sink cabinet, ready to do anything needed to save his boyfriend.
The throe of desperate passion gave the red tartaruga to strength for morally justified rape."

Fine, for the sake of keeping this review up, I will now start censoring words. IT'S THAT BAD.

"His cuore raced as his free hand began to furiously pompa at his own soft p**is, panting from effort and emotional pressure. The green koopa could only watch on, a hint of anger slowly building on his face, as waves of musk from the other began to waft toward him. It was almost sickening."

Saying fuck te to the writer now is like saying, "Here! I made te a pineapple smoothie! :)" And if te don't see anything wrong yet, IT STILL GETS WORSE.

"The green solder's gag warning of incoming bile did nothing to avert the red koopa from his frenzied approach, as his flushed face and drop of precum from his e**ct pe**s indicated. He was a ready as he'd be for this until the green koopa began to scream."
"Stop!" And the red koopa was shaken just enough to not force his way into the resisting soldier.
"I should," The crimson tartaruga began. "but this is for your own good."

First of all, did te ever do any spelling tests in the 1st Grade? Second, did Gesù even make you? Seriously, who....ARE you? To make something so Disgusting! So Evil! So.....Soul Crushing! Are te even a human being? What reality do te live in? And I can't believe I am going to say this, BUT EVEN THE MODERN SPONGEBOB WRITERS WOULDN'T DO THIS! Moving on..... *Gags and Cries*

"With his eyes shut tight and his lover's screams beginning to shrill, the red koopa shoved little più than half his c**k into an unwilling and ill-fitting hole. He repressed a moan with grit jaw as he tried to fit più of it in, all the while hoping they would both have pleasure from this in time. Yellow thighs clashed into each other as the tartaruga thrust himself in and out of his victim. The red koopa tried not to mostra his enjoyment, instead favoring an expression torn between guilt and fear. Not a moment later, the red koopa's face contorted into a look of physical pain, the green koopa finally resisting with a free knee berretto, tappo and a harsh blow to the other's crotch. The pain momentary subsiding, the green soldier began to yell again."

Guys, I am actually scared right now. I am Scrivere this at 1:30 in the morning and I am terrified right now. If I disappear somehow, te KNOW WHAT TO BLAME.

"With that, the green tartaruga bought just enough time in shocking his lover again to painfully stretch his leg between their bodies, knee pressed into his stomach and clawed foot into the other's chest, and push off his oppressor. The green tartaruga got up with all speed and readied himself for a fight hoped to be personally destructive. The red koopa slowly got to his feet as well, wincing from fresh claw marks his lover's foot had put into his chest, er**tion still hard and ready to continue once his partner was under control."

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS!? Oh I Know, IT'S BECAUSE THE WRITER IS FROM HELL! I am not kidding at all when I say I would rather die than be like the person who wrote this! This is GROSS!

"The crimson tartaruga wasted no time in tweaking and retrying his plan, charging the other at full force from where he had been pushed to. The green tartaruga put down his fists, attempting a new approach to suicide, ready to be knocked to the ground da his furious partner. Both plans began as intended, the red koopa immediately knocking down the other with a blow to one eye strong enough to blacken it."

*o____O* I am not even trying to be funny, somebody wrote this. I will mostra proof later, but somebody, no, SOMETHING wrote this! Screw it moving on!

"Without a cry of pain, the green koopa let himself hit the ground once again and be dominated da the red one, welcoming all violence that was in store.
The red koopa pounded at the other's face with all his might, hoping to knock him unconscious long enough to properly plan another step. However, even as bruises were formed and Bones barely dented, the green koopa began to laugh softly. Smiling as best he could with a bloody and swollen mouth, he began to speak as he was pounded on."

Oh my god guys, if te thought anything was bad so far, this successivo paragraph will change your life. I am literally crying in fear right now. *Sigh* M-M-m-Moving On!

"It's almost done. I can't feel anything."
The green koopa brought a hand to his face, gripped the freshly bruised eye through engorged eyelid, and pulled it from its socket with an audible rip and a visible gush of fluids. The red tartaruga backed away in shock and fear, his eyes transfixed upon the gaping hole that had been a left eye. His will to fight had died along with his lover's body. Entranced da terror to the point of losing bladder control, the tartaruga watched his partner slowly tear himself apart. Muscle tissue littered the ground as the green koopa bared every part of himself. His every vital organ he revealed and then spilled out onto the floor slowly working from the superiore, in alto down. His other eye was tossed to unisciti the other, his esophagus was torn with lungs in tow to be thrown just over the red koopa's head, his barely beating cuore crushed between his fingers and let slide down to rest on his intestines, the intestines themselves allowed to be pulled like a scarf out from their original position down to the floor, and testicles with the other sexual organs violently ripped off and presented as a cruelly made gift to his lover before dropping those to the floor too.
The other koopa had long since spewed his coffee-blackened bile onto the floor, gripping his wounds and crying in failure and grieving as he did.
After discarding much of the flesh on his feet, the new and bloody Dry Bones approached the sickened survivor.
A skull began to speak from atop the skeleton.>"It's done."

My god guys I just threw up and IT'S NOT OVER YET!

"The red koopa only sobbed to himself, surrounded da biological filth as he did.
"Come now," the Dry Bones detto with as close a sneer as he could manage "this is for your own good."

I will never EVER look at Mario, o even LIFE, o EVEN HORROR, the same way again. This is so scary that if a person had no confidence and read this, they would go suicide, but please don't, I am here with you, and I hope te still are with me.

"He pushed on the koopa's shoulder to meet him face to face. Bloodshot and teary eyes watched as what was his lover use a bloody hand of bone to wet and slick the still er*ct p**is being sported. The koopa hated it, but was all too tired to resist the hand that slowly pumped at his p*nis. He could not scream, he could not push away, and he could not enjoy the mast***ation he was given. The red koopa nearly vomited again as he felt a blood slicked finger bone worm in under the foreskin and gently massage the crown. Despite the growing unease in his stomach, his body reacted where his emotions and mind wouldn't and e**culated onto the recently deceased after a few più secondi of pumping.
"There," Dry Bones whispered into the koopa's ear "now you're ready."
Dragging a foot behind him, Dry Bones pulled the resigned koopa from one home to another, tugging the deathly depressed tartaruga into the ocean."

Gesù CHRIST! I am not overreacting at all. This fanfiction isn't just laughably bad, it is UNREADABLY BAD. The TERRIBLY Scary details, the gross rape parts, the stupid story that makes no sense, the crappy grammar and spelling, and if none of that bothers you, THEN YOUR DREAMS TONIGHT WILL. This fanfiction... It can change your life. I am not kidding. People take things very seriously sometimes and Leggere BULLSHIT like this doesn't help.

It's way too disturbing, doesn't have any comedy o even bad humor to make it anywhere near fun to read, the plot makes no sense, the countless plot errors, and of te were a Mario fan, than I am sorry for you. And of course, it feels like it NEVER ENDS!

This Fanfic has no life, -9999999/10
te can read another person reviewing it here!

link

Good god it's over. And guess what? Some person made a superiore, in alto Ten lista on the worst fanfics. te want to know what this, what I called the worst fanfic ever, and can change your life, was ranked on there?
I'll tell you.




ONLY NUMBER 6!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Yay, te made it! ^___^
Yay, you made it! ^___^
Sam opened the door to the men’s room and saw Cas sitting on the cold stony floor. Sam rolled his eyes, thinking Cas was being dramatic again, and he walked towards him. But when he’d reached him he noticed Cas’ eyes were closed.
Sam bent through his knees and touched Cas’ shoulder. “Cas? Wake up, dude” he said.
Cas slowly opened his eyes and looked at Sam. “I passed out, I think”
“Yeah” Sam replied. He threw Cas’ arm over his shoulder and helped him stand up. But the moment Sam let go of Cas, Cas grabbed his stomach and gasped for air. He bent through his knees and collapsed....
continue reading...
Dean parked the Impala in front of the motel Meg was staying. “Are te sure about this?” he asked, turning to Cas.
Cas nodded. “Thank you” he detto hoarse. “For not telling Sam” Dean didn’t comment, but loosened his sede, sedile cintura and got out of the car. He walked around it, when Cas stepped out too.
“No, wait here” Dean said. “Let me go first”
“Why?”
“She’s not very happy with you, right now. I might have to use a little persuasion” Dean explained.
“What kind of persuasion?” Cas asked suspicious.
“Just trust me, alright?” Dean replied. “I promise I won’t...
continue reading...
Cas was sitting at a tavolo in the corner of a café. He had sneaked out of the hospital shortly after Meg had left. Apparently Meg had dato Dean his number, because his phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. But Cas didn’t want Dean’s company right now. He just wanted to be left alone.
Three men were lurking at him from the bar. Cas could feel their eyes on him and he looked up. They were mumbling to each other and if Cas had still been an Angel he would know what they were talking about. But now their whispered conversation remained a mystery to him.
He stood up and headed for the exit. He didn’t...
continue reading...
Night came in and Cas was standing on a crossroad. He buried a small, tin box in the ground and then took a step back.
“Get your culo down, here, Crowley!” he yelled.
A few long secondi later Crowley appeared. “Give me one good reason why I wouldn’t kill te this very instant”
“Because I have something better in store” Cas said. He took a deep breath and then continued. “You have to bring Dean back to life”
“Let me guess, I get your soul in return” Crowley detto bored. “Sorry, but that’s getting so old. Nice chatting” He wanted to leave, when Cas quickly said: “Not...
continue reading...
While storming through the hallways of the hospital, Damon attempted to call Stefan, but once again he failed. He was in such a hurry he didn’t see Meredith and bumped right into her.
“Sorry” he mumbled distracted.
“Where are te heading so fast?” Meredith asked surprised. Damon didn’t answer that question. Instead he leaned inoltrare, avanti and mumbled: “Make sure no one enters Elena’s room”
Meredith frowned at that somewhat strange request, but promised Damon she’d tried to keep an eye on his girl.
Damon ran outside where he smelled the scent of blood. He looked down. A young woman...
continue reading...
Veronica dragged Jeremy downstairs and threw him on the cold floor of a basement. Jeremy screamed and held his leg. As he tried to pull the Arrow out, Veronica started pacing up and down.
“You lied to me” she muttered agitated, with a feral look in her eyes. “I asked te straightforward if te were a medium and te lied to me in my face” She walked to Jeremy and looked down on him. “How long has your aunt been spying on me? What does she know?” Jeremy didn’t answer and thus she kicked his wounded leg. Veronica raised her voice above Jeremy’s cries. “How long?” she repeated...
continue reading...
Though visiting ora was long over, it didn’t stop Stefan from sneaking into Elena’s bedroom. Elena had fallen asleep shortly after Bonnie had left. Stefan had expected Damon to be in the room, but Elena happened to be alone.
Stefan walked to the letto and sank down on it. Elena, sensing his stare, opened her eyes and frowned.
“Stefan?” she asked sleepy.
“It’s okay. Go back to sleep” Stefan hushed, regretting he woke her.
“No” Elena moaned and she sat up difficult. “I’m up” She cast him a faint, tired smile. “I’m glad te came”
“I had to come and see you, but I didn’t...
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Elena had pulled up the sheets. She was getting cold. After Damon had left she’d started crying again and her face was wet from tears. Was this one of the many side effects chemo had? o was this part of the cancer?
“Hi, there” a small voice detto from the end of the bed.
“Go away” Elena detto with heavy voice. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this” She added as she tried to dry her eyes.
“I know, which is why I brought this” Caroline detto secretive and she lifted a bag. She walked towards the bed. “I’m going to make te all pretty again. Now, make some room”
Elena...
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Three days later.

Elena was lying on her hospital bed. She felt terrible. She had heard people say the treatment for cancer was a bitch, but she didn’t how much that was true…until now. She felt her stomach turn and climbed out of bed. If it hadn’t been for her sore limps she would’ve run to the bathroom, but now she had to settle for shuffling as fast as her body allowed her to. Once arrived she dropped on her knees and aimed for the toilet.
It seemed an eternity had passed when she withdrew herself from the toilet and jerked off some toilet paper to clean her face. Last time she had...
continue reading...
“We should go” Caroline detto a little nervous, staring at Bonnie.
“Yeah, you’re right” Bonnie nodded. “It’s plain obvious that the spirits are not going to help me” She stood and walked towards Caroline, who backed away. “What’s your problem?” Caroline moved her phone from her right hand to her left hand as she figured out how to express herself.
“That was Damon” she eventually started. “Apparently Elena is not feeling very well and he thinks it might have something to do with that tè recipe I gave them”
“People don’t get sick from drinking tea, Caroline”...
continue reading...
Rebekah and Elena were both sitting on the couch, as far away from the other as possible. “So, te and Stefan are getting married? When did that happen?” Elena asked slightly surprised.
“Stefan and I know go way back. We knew each other long before te were even conceived” Rebekah answered smug. “But Nik compelled him to forget, until I convinced him to break the compulsion. He was a little off, Nik, I mean. I think he’s having trouble making Caroline and Tyler break up. He told Tyler to stay away from Caroline, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference”
Elena nodded, then frowned....
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Damon walked towards the old building. Jeremy had told Damon Veronica was alone now and though Jeremy didn’t want Damon to hurt her, he still thought that if Damon threatened her she’d listen and leave. Damon, on the other hand, very well knew Veronica wouldn’t let him scare her off and so there was only one thing left to do. Kill the bitch.
He opened the door, which was unlocked. That should’ve occurred strange to him, but Damon didn’t pay much attention to it. He walked through the hallway until he found the largest room.
“Hello, Damon” Veronica said. “So, Jeremy signs up...
continue reading...
Katherine was standing in front of Ric’s loft. She was practicing her speech and gathering her courage.
“Come on, Katherine” she told herself. “Just go in there and tell him te Amore him” She pushed the latch down and entered.
“Stefan?” she called.
“I’m in here” Stefan replied from out of the living room. Katherine walked further into the room. Stefan was standing against the closet. He was alone. “I didn’t expect you, but I’m glad you’re here”
“Really?” Katherine asked hopeful. She couched to restore herself. “There’s something I have to tell you”
“Funny,...
continue reading...
Jeremy entered the Grill. He still had some time before school and this just couldn’t wait. He looked at the bar and to his relief Veronica was on duty. He walked to the bar and sank down on a stool.
“What can I get you, kid?” Veronica asked with a demeaning look.
“Do te have a birra mat? And a pen?” Jeremy asked secretive. Veronica gave him a birra mat and a pen and Jeremy scribbled something down. He shove the mat to Veronica.
“I want in” it said.
“You can’t just sign up, te know” Veronica said. “I need to know I can trust you. Isn’t your sister involved with vampires,...
continue reading...
“Damon, what are we doing here?”
Damon had parked his car in front of Ric’s loft and now a mischievous smile was playing around his lips. “You want your collana back, don’t you?”
Elena shook her head. “No, I don’t miss it” she said.
Damon averted his head to her. “But te need it. There’s vervain in it”
“I’ll drink vervain tea” Elena suggested.
“You can forget” Damon warned. “And it could mix with your other tea”
“And te think my collana is in there?” Elena asked doubtful.
“I know it is” Damon replied. “Katherine told me Rebekah has it”
“And...
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Caroline opened the door of her bedroom and almost stumbled over a big, flat box. She bent her knees and picked it up. She walked to her bed, put the box down and opened it. There was a red strapless dress in it and matching gloves and tiara. Caroline took it in her hand and held it up. She walked to the mirror and looked at it. It looked più like a wedding dress. She wanted to check the size and noticed a note.
‘I hope you’ll wear this dress tonight. I’ll meet te at Homecoming’
Caroline put the dress back in the box and carried it downstairs. She walked to the cucina and threw the...
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“Where’s Barbie?” Katherine asked when Stefan was standing on the front porch of the Boarding House. She had gotten used to the sight of him with Rebekah.
“She’s out, doing something” Stefan explained vague. “Can I come in?”
Katherine shrugged and let him pass. Stefan turned around. “I’m looking for Elena. Is she here?”
“No, she’s at school. te should know that” Katherine detto uninterested.
“Not anymore she isn’t” Stefan said. “School’s over”
“Then she’s probably at the Grill” Katherine said, a little annoyed. “What do te need her for anyway?”
“I want to apologize for what happened last time she came over” Stefan said. “And I want to make sure she’s okay. I mean, I know Rebekah’s blood already left her system da now, but still, it must have freaked her out”
He looked at Katherine who stared at some point behind Stefan. Stefan quickly turned around and saw Damon standing in the doorway.
Caroline walked out of the grocery negozio and closed the door. She turned around and bumped into Tyler.
“Sorry” she mumbled and wanted to walk away, but Tyler called her.
“Caroline, wait up” he said.
Caroline held her steps, but didn’t turn around. Tyler walked to her.
“Hey, I’m…I’m sorry for last time” he started uneasy. “I was a little uptight”
Caroline raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t act uptight, Tyler. te acted like a jerk”
“I know, but I’m trying to explain myself here” Tyler continued.
Caroline shuffled with her left foot over the paving. She then looked...
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Jeremy ran through the hallway of the hospital. Stefan had dato him a call to fill him in and he had also mentioned in which room Elena was ‘staying’. Ignoring the reproaching of several doctors and nurses and other medical staff he opened the door and stopped to breathe.
“Jeremy, why aren’t te at school?” Elena asked a little harsh.
“I was there” Jeremy said. “But then Stefan called me, saying te were sick”
Elena looked away. “He shouldn’t have detto that” she detto grumpy. Jeremy walked to the letto and sank down. “How are te feeling?”
“I’m fine” Elena said...
continue reading...
Katherine threw her arm in the air and called for a taxi. As one stopped she dialed a number.
“My dear Katerina, please tell me te have fixed the problem” Klaus detto slowly.
“I haven’t” Katherine started while she got in the cab.
“Well, how unfortunate” Klaus said.
“But I know what’s wrong with Elena” Katherine quickly continued. “Tell me where te are, then I can mostra you”
Klaus gave her directions and Katherine passed them to the driver.
Fifteen minuti later the driver parked the car in front of an abandoned hotel. Katherine got out and the cab drove away.
As soon...
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