Happy albero Friends Club
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posted by Edvine2
A warning before we continue: THIS IS PART TWO OF A FANFIC I AM WRITING. IF te HAVEN'T READ PART ONE, TURN BACK NOW. I AM NOT KIDDING.

Now that we've got that out of the way...

(We continue as Fliqpy(he flipped out in part 1) and Splendid are about to fight. I'm in a nearby house, but as a Generic albero Friend(as it stands), I have no lines. I do, however, have a video camera. Wait'll the news gets this footage!)

Splendid, in a voice befitting an English-speaking Godzilla, but a tad più high-pitched: Everyone evacuate your homes! What is about to happen will turn this immediate area into a wasteland! If te do not heed this warning, I cannot guarantee your safety!
Fliqpy: te done?
Splendid: Yeah. Now, where were we...?
Fliqpy: Right about here. *swings at Splendid with his makeshift sign weapon*
Splendid: *dodges expertly* It'll take più than that to kill me. I haven't ever died in the series, and I sure as hell ain't dying now.
Fliqpy: You've not yet met me. Until now, that is.
Splendid: *finds a pinecone, puts a nail with the pointy end out towards his target, then throws at Fliqpy*
Fliqpy: *catches and throws back at Splendid*
Splendid: *gets hit in the eye with his own pinecone* DAMN IT!! *rips the pinecone out, taking his eye with it* Just because I'll need an eye patch doesn't mean I'm gonna surrender. *rips Fliqpy's sign from his hands, taking one of Fliqpy's arms out with it, then proceeds to attempt to bash Fliqpy's skull in*
Fliqpy: *dodges every attack* I have spent più time in the fucking army than you've been alive, Splendid. I've been in più near-death situations than most of the albero Friends here. And to superiore, in alto it off, unlike you, più than likely, I've actually SAVED people from harm.
Nutty, Cuddles, Handy: What the hell is going on there-- OH SHI-- *as soon as they get anywhere near Fliqpy, he takes Splendid's weapon and uses it as a bat. He hits all 3 with such force that they fly over every ballpark they pass by, inadvertently scoring home runs for every team at bat. 6 games ended this way and 1 went 37 innings after that. The Yankees, in particular, got the benefit of this and somehow scored a grand slam to win 8-7. None of the albero Friends launched this way survived, as Nutty fell into a wood chipper and is now likely being used as building material, Handy hit the W part of the big Hollywood thing in California, splattering him all over it, and Cuddles actually survived the fall, but got run the FUUUUUCK over da an 18-wheeler, Nissan Cube, motoscafo on wheels(don't ask), and Mime's imaginary Ferrari GTO. This death also marks an appearance role da Mime, because he gets out of his car and sees roadkill Cuddles turned to paste. He then runs back to his car and does 125 in a 60 MPH zone. After getting pulled over da Lumpy, Mime is outraged about his speeding ticket and uses Lumpy as a makeshift balloon. The extreme contortionist motions crush Lumpy's insides, killing him. This would mark the only time Lumpy appears, and dies just a quickly. Mime, however, lives... For now. 5 dead(1 appearance which counted), 3 featuring-and-above characters still alive(Fliqpy and Splendid are epically fighting still, so...), Flaky sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza due to fan vote from Part 1*
Fliqpy: And now, to turn this on you. *swings*
Splendid: *snatches at last second* cagna please. *swings at Fliqpy*
Fliqpy: *doesn't get away in time, but instead gets launched* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuu... (he finally says the "ck" part before landing)
Splendid: Haha! My perfect record contin-- oh shit... (Petunia somehow wound up with the Kryptonut from the From Hero To Eternity episode(at least, I THINK it was that one) and Splendid uncontrollably vomits his guts out, like the episode. He dies. Fliqpy/Flippy(now for the sake of argument) ends up falling in to a pile of wood chips near where Nutty died. Fliqpy/Flippy was pierced heavily da the chips, killing him instantly. How did petunia leave the house? Simple: She had a porch set up a few weeks back da Handy. God knows how she got the Kryptonut... but we need not know that. Almost simultaneously after Splendid died, Mime was driving home when Splendid's vomit hit Mime's "windshield" and blinded his field of vision. He ended up crashing into Petunia's house, running her over and flinging Mime into a paperweight factory. petunia died because Mime ran straight over her chest without realizing it(he could see Cuddles' remains up the road, but the impaired vision imparted da Splendid's super-vomit meant Mime was unaware that he ran petunia over. Mine nearly lived, but was crushed da a box of paperweights. 8 dead, Flaky safe)

No one wins. Everyone except Flaky that made an appearance died. I got some sweet video, but was covered in vomit because I left my window open. I didn't die however. Yeah, that's right, I put myself in as a Generic albero Friend. Sue me. Fanfic's done.
Lates.
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