Harry Potter vs Twilight Club
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chapter 1 part 1
It was 8.30 am. A 17 anno old girl lay asleep in her bed, a naughty smile on her face. She was obviously dreaming. She put her arms around her cuscino like she was embracing it. She could dream on forever. But unfortunately…
“Isabella Swan, if te wish to be on that plane in time, te better get your pretty culo out of your letto right now!” a female voice shouted from downstairs.
Bella groaned and with her head half underneath the sheets she touched for the alarm clock. She opened her eyes a little a checked the hour. The knowledge she gained, made her eyes almost fall out of their sockets and her teeth out of her mouth. She gasped for breath and fell out of bed. “I’m okay” she assured herself as she got back on her feet and ironed her pajamas and hair, before she went downstairs to the kitchen.
Mrs. Dwyer was sitting at the breakfast table, calm and relaxed. Bella rushed to the table, grabbed a sandwich, panino and crammed it in her mouth. Mrs. Dwyer looked up at her daughter, her nose curled. “Bella, that’s disgusting. Have a sede, sedile and eat your breakfast the way I taught you” her mother ordered while she slid the chair successivo to her backwards.
“I don’t have time to have a proper breakfast” Bella detto with her mouth full of sandwich. “Besides, you’re the one that detto I needed to hurry up, so that’s exactly what I’m doing”
“Yeah, but that still doesn’t mean I wish to see the content of your stomach, thank te very much” Mrs. Dwyer detto with a disgusted expression. Bella gazed at her mother for a secondo and blinked her eyes. “Yeah, whatever” she detto a little absent-minded.
“You don’t have to do this, te know. We can always call the institution and ask for help” Mrs. Dwyer softly said. Bella jerked her head to her mother, a furious gleam in her eyes. “My dad is not going to an institution. He’s not crazy!” she exclaimed.
“I’m not saying he’s crazy, honey” Mrs. Dwyer defended her self. “But your father is not the easiest man to live with”
“I’m not the easiest girl to live with” Bella replied. “Look, mom, I think it’s in our best interests if someone familiar goes there and since te have your life here with Phil, I’ll have to go and I want to go. I won’t bail on him. I won’t let him down”
Mrs. Dwyer sighed. She realized her daughter was not going to change her mind. “Okay, sweetie, I’ll respect your choice. Just promise me you’ll try to be happy there and call me a lot”
“I promise, mom” Bella said, relieved her mother had accepted the situation.
“One più thing” Mrs. Dwyer detto and she looked her daughter straight in the eye. “Promise me te will not mysteriously disappear like your father’s accompanist”
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Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s più to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do te mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call te Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would te describe your relationship with the man known as...
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I would like to start da quoting Susanna Laitala, who wrote a review of Breaking Dawn for a Finnish newspaper: "... da Stephenie Meyer, who, in my opinion, is a very talented writer." I disagree: I do not think Meyer could write even a decent children's book, with a plot culminating in a giraffe finding his Lost scarf. She would probably decide that the giraffe is suddenly carnivore who has green stripes instead of brown spots - she has already done so to the beloved villains of literature, vampires. Meyer's Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. are in fact 'vegetarian': they drink only animal blood. In addition, they...
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posted by HaleyDewit
1.A lot of trees have been sacrificed for Twishit
2.It's deathly boring
3.Sparkling vampires?Really?
4.Edward is a pedophile and a stalker.To every girl who thinks Edward's the perfect boyfriend: a guy who watches te when te sleep,is not romantic,but creepy.
5.There are a lot of plotholes
6.Bella has as much personality as the spoon I'm looking at right now.
7.Quotations like 'liquid topaz eyes' (since when are eyes liquid???)and 'it's an optional choice'(Where does Smeyer live,because it's obvious they don't have a dictionary there)
8.Bella is the stereotype of the woman before feminism.She's completely...
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Publishers Weekly-"After her transformation into a vampire, it's almost impossible to identify with her in Breaking Dawn"

Lilah Lohr of the Chicago Tribune-"Bella's character, compared to the Quileute wolves, is less satisfying"

Kirkus Reviews-"Bella's appeal is based on magic rather than character, but her and Edward's portrayal of dangerous innamorati hits the spot"
"Bella's personality is flat and obsessive"

Laura Miller of salon.com-"In regards of Edward and Bella, neither of them has much personality to speak of"

Jennifer Reese of Entertainment Weekly-"You may wish she had loftier goals and a mind...
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