1. Offer him arachide, arachidi burro caramella fondente, fudge that te cooked yourself, and tell him that te named it Cornelius caramella fondente, fudge because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that lime, calce green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really più of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, più flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to unisciti a conga line with te and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much più of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to unisciti S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.

10. Give his bombetta, giocatore di bocce hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that te were just trying to mostra your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, cucciolo eyes.