...or maybe I saw something about it online a few days ago.
Hook turns 25 in 2016. On December 11, 2016, to be exact.
I haven't seen Hook in a while, so I've decided to re-watch it and provide a slightly sarcastic (but fully adoring) commentary. Can't help it, guys. It's what I do.
The film opens on some unusually attentive children in the audience of a school play. The play? Peter Pan. The stars? Maggie Banning and a bunch of nameless classmates, recitazione their little hearts out. The asshole in the audience talking on a cellphone? Peter Banning.
While always a dick move, this was unusual in 1991. (You see, children, cell phones didn't really become a thing until many years later...) Transfixed on Maggie's performance, mother Moira quietly admonishes her husband for missing it. Still ignoring the play and talking to his coworker, Peter promises his son that he'll be there for his big game, which is totally believable. His word is his bond, after all.
This is the Banning family. Robin Williams is Peter Banning, a distant father whose priority is being a very busy business man; Caroline Goodall is Moira, a supportive mother who becomes exasperated at her husband's lack of family focus; Charlie Korsmo is Jack, the baseball-loving grudge-holding son; Amber Scott is Maggie, the lively, loving daughter.
Peter Banning ends up missing his son's game. Sending a lackey from the office with a video camera doesn't count, Dad of the Year. Peter shows a few secondi of mild disappointment before once again reattaching his phone to his ear.
On a plane to visit Moira's grandmother in England, Maggie presents a very nervous Peter with one of Jack's drawings. The plane is crashing, and everyone but Peter has a parachute. Those sharks sure look hungry, Dad. Peter confronts Jack about the drawing, Jack mocks Peter's fear of flying. Not really in a forgiving mood, I guess.
The Bannings arrive in Londra and we meet alloro Cronin as Liza, the very loud and enthusiastic housekeeper; Arthur Malet as Toodles, Wendy's first orphan who has Lost his marbles, and Maggie Smith as Granny Wendy. Granny Wendy is Moira's grandmother, and believed to be the real Wendy from the Peter Pan story. (Shut your non-believing mouth, Peter Banning.) Wendy and Peter have an awkward reunion, but Moira and Maggie make up for it with warmth and excitement. Then Jack comes in and brings us back to awkward. Ugh, boys.
There is only one rule in Granny Wendy's house: No growing up. This is such a cute scene, because like the Banning kids, we don't really know Granny Wendy. She wins both viewers and her great-grandchildren over in her very first scene. I solemnly swear that I will do no più growing up while watching the rest of this movie, Granny Wendy.
The family bonding is over, and Peter's back in business mode. The kids are playing when Peter's trying to discuss work on the phone, and he yells at them. Moira has had enough, and tosses his phone out the window. I hate this scene. I mean, go Moira for putting your husband in his place, but Robin Williams is not supposed to play asshole characters.
Granny Wendy distracts the children from Peter's blow-up with the classic Peter Pan story in the nursery. *The* nursery. Maggie is quick to forgive, and presents Peter with a parachute she made when he comes to collect Granny Wendy for an event. Peter immediately jumps back down Jack's throat, then I guess tries to make up for being a jerk da giving him a pocket watch.
Peter, Moira and Wendy attend a fancy event honoring Wendy's work with orphans at the children's hospital. Wendy had helped improve the life of everyone there, and they all stand to mostra their appreciation in a very emotional scene that even gets to Peter a little.
Back in Wendy's nursery, Jack and Maggie are woken da a very strange vibe. The shift in tone, the lighting, and the creaking window latch is enough to make any young viewer's hair stand on end. If there's something strange in your neighborhood... hide underneath the covers, like the Banning kids. A gust of wind hits the nursery and the hospital dedication, terrifying the children and causing Wendy to lose her breath.
When the adults arrive back at the house, they find the front door open, Liza in a panic, and the children missing. A note from Captain James Hook, requesting Peter's presence, is stuck to the nursery door da a sword. The police don't take Hook's note seriously, and neither does Peter. But Wendy does.
Wendy tries to make Peter remember who he is, but that stubborn old jerk refuses to believe. Peter, don't te know who te are?
Cue alcohol. Peter spends the night getting drunk in the empty nursery. A ball of light, which Peter thinks is a firefly from hell, leads him on a merry chase around the room before Campanellino (Julia Roberts) reveals herself. The pixie is very happy to see Peter again, even though he doesn't believe in her. Since everyone knows that whenever someone says they do not believe in fairies, a fairy somewhere falls down dead, Tink fakes her death and forces Peter to clap and admit that he does believe in them. So there, Banning! He tries to back-track, and Tink pulls the rug out from under him and knocks him to the floor. She gathers Peter in a sheet and hauls him off to Neverland. secondo stella, star to the right, and straight on 'til morning.
Peter wakes up surrounded da pirates, and gets chased around da some blaggards wanting his shoes instead of laying low like Campanellino tells him. Tink fights them off and disguises him as a pirate to avoid più trouble, and they follow a chanting pirate crowd led da Mr. Smee (Bob Hoskins) and Captain Hook's hook.
Enter Dustin Hoffman as the legendary Captain Hook. The adoring crowd chants his name as he shares the success of his Kidnap-Peter-Pan's-Children plan, throws a skeptic into the Boo Box (a treasure chest with delightful things like scorpions in it), and finally reveals Jack and Maggie in a net. Peter comes forward, but Captain Hook doesn't believe this middle-aged nerd could possibly be his great and worthy opponent.
Captain Hook wants a war, but Peter Banning isn't worth it. Hook tells Peter that if he can fly up and touch the hands of his children, they can all go home. Peter, who's forgotten how to fly (and is afraid of heights), fails his children once again. Hook orders them all killed, but Campanellino swoops in and appeals to his ego. They agree that Tink has three days to get Pan in shape, and then they can have his dirty old war.
In the pirates' celebration of impending war, Peter gets knocked into the ocean and rescued da some very pretty sirene with insanely colorful hair. This is the first time Peter has appeared to enjoy himself since leaving the office. Peter is lifted from the ocean in a giant seashell and we get our first view of beautiful Neverland. Snowy mountains, warm beaches, Hook's ship, rainbows, waterfalls. In the words of Liz Lemon: I want to go to there.
Peter falls into Lost Boys territory and is immediately snagged da a trap and yanked into the air. Tink cuts him loose and wakes up the Lost Boys, who are very excited for the return of Peter Pan... until they actually see Peter, who looks nothing like the Pan they remember.
Ruuuufio. Pan's punk rock replacement makes a grand entrance and sends Peter into a middle-aged man panic about danger and insurance. Since Peter's a grown-up, and all grown-ups in Neverland are pirates, Rufio orders the Lost Boys to kill him. They chase him through their lair with some not-very-dangerous weapons while Campanellino tries to convince the boys that he's really Pan and that they need to help him. There's some really cool stuff to see here, like the fiori that aren't like normal flowers, the graffiti on the walls, and the things the Lost Boys have made for themselves.
Rufio and the Lost Boys corner Peter, and all but one little boy believes that he's not the real Peter Pan. Upon closer inspection of Peter's face, Pockets proclaims that he IS the real deal, and a group scurries over to see for themselves. But even if he's *not* the real Peter, the boys have to help him, right? Right?!
Hook and Mr. Smee discuss the situation over cena (sooo much pretty food), Hook reveals that he hates Neverland, and threatens a suicide attempt like the big ol' drama Queen he is. The detail in the captain's luxurious cabina is just amazing. Lots of red and oro and valuables here. Mr. Smee has an apostrophe (I think he means epiphany), and suggests that Hook make Pan's brats Amore him. The ultimate revenge.
The Lost Boys put Peter through an intense training session (with a song!), a humiliating swordfight with Rufio, and a very messy failed flying attempt involving a giant slingshot and a pool full of paint.
Hook puts his evil plan of winning over Peter's children into motion, beginning class with a Why Parents Hate Their Children lesson. Stubborn, loyal Maggie refuses to believe that her parents hate her, but Jack has been let down da Peter one too many times. He's not so sure. Maggie attacks Captain Hook and is dragged away da Mr. Smee, yelling that Jack mustn't forget their parents and that he needs to think of a way to run home. Take note, everyone who thought Maggie's forgiveness of Peter in the earlier scenes was a weakness.
Peter sits down to cena with the Lost Boys, but... wait, where's the food? The boys appear to be eating nothing. Peter, a boring old man, doesn't get it. Peter and Rufio get into an intense insult-slinging fight that eventually brings out Peter's fun side. He picks up an empty spoon and flings its imaginary content at Rufio - and it turns real! Peter's playing with the Lost Boys and using his imagination, and the Cibo on this tavolo is incredible. SO COLORFUL. Rufio skulks to the corner to sulk. Peter and the boys chow down and have the most epic of Cibo fights. Rufio ruins the mood da hurling a coconut at Peter, who grabs a sword and slices it mid-spin, freaking everyone out. Guess you're well on your way to being Peter again, Mr. Banning. Later, Thud Butt gives Toodles' Lost marbles to Peter. ("He Lost 'em good!")
Maggie captivates the pirates with a sad song and the Lost Boys blow out their lamps for Peter's first night in Neverland, which is just as pretty at night as it is during the day. It has so many moons!
The watch that Peter gave to Jack wakes up Captain Hook, who drags Jack off to the museum of broken clocks. The Captain and Smee set up Peter's watch for Jack to destroy, and Jack goes a little nuts, taking out all his daddy issues on those poor innocent clocks. Hook slyly advances his win-over-Pan's-children plan with a crying Jack, because *Hook's* never broken a promise. (You've known the guy for like a day, Jack.)
Peter and the boys sneak into pirate territory to steal Hook's hook, but Peter gets distracted da Jack's baseball game. Oh sure, *now* te want to be at one of his games. (There's no shooting in baseball, pirates!) The pirate cheerleaders get a message mixed up and chant "run home Jack" instead of "home run Jack", making him remember Maggie's pleas for him to run home. It's fixed, and Jack shrugs it off, hits a home run, and celebrates with a very proud Hook.
A devastated Peter takes off and is determined to remember how to fly. He's gotta save his kids. Jack's winning hit from the baseball game finally comes down and hits Peter in the head, causing him to see his younger reflection when retrieving the ball from the water. His shadow appears and leads him to a albero with a secret entrance. Tinkerbell, in a very fancy dress, is waiting for him. Peter explores the objects abandoned in the old hideout and begins to remember everything: where Wendy slept, the last time he saw his mother, when Campanellino saved him, meeting Wendy, meeting Moira.
Peter meeting Moira is a happy moment for Peter, but a sad one for everyone else. Wendy is too old to go with him back to Neverland, and the devastation on her face when he goes to baciare her granddaughter is heartbreaking, as is Tinkerbell's when she sees. Coming out of the memories, Peter finds his happy moment: when he became a father.
Peter is back to his old self. Back in his old clothes, flying, crowing, playing with the Lost Boys. Rufio falls to his knees and gives Peter his sword back, finally believing that Pan's back. But there's a catch - now that Peter finally remembers who he is, he's forgotten why he's there: his kids.
Campanellino wishes a wish for herself, to become human-sized. She confesses her Amore to Peter. This is the moment he chooses to remember his wife and children. Tink selflessly tells him that he has to go save them. Poor pixie.
Game time, y'all. The Lost Boys suit up in some wicked cool gear. Hook dresses Jack like a Mini Hook. Peter shows up as Hook is about to pierce Jack's ear. Peter confronts Hook, is rejected da Jack (who doesn't recognize his own father after just three days), and calls in the army of Lost Boys. They may be smaller, but they're much più creative. Mirrors to blind the pirates, egg guns, marbles to trip them, human bowling ball, pomodoro launchers. LOL, Lost Boys.
Smee loads up with Hook's valuables. Maggie calls out to Peter, who rescues her and the other child prisoners being held da pirates. Rufio takes on Captain Hook and gets stabbed in the chest. Peter arrives just in time to see it happen, and holds Rufio during his last moments. Rufio tells Peter with his last breath that he wishes he'd had a dad like him. This snaps Jack out of his Hook trance, and the two head back to Maggie and the rest of the boys. Peter is ready to leave, but Hook vows to never leave him o his children o his children's children alone. Peter decides that the only way out is to finish it, once and for all.
At this point, all the pirates have mysteriously disappeared, so Peter and Hook's fight is truly just between the two of them, with one small group of loyal Lost Boys (plus Maggie, Jack and Tinkerbell) watching. The fight leads them to the courtyard and più Lost Boys, holding up ticking clocks to freak Hook out. Hook loses his wig during this stage of the fight, revealing that he's just an old man under his cocky disguise. Maggie and Jack beg Peter to just go home and leave the mean old motherless man. After all, what would the world be like without Captain Hook? Peter agrees, but Hook goes after him when his back is turned. Peter engages again, stabbing Hook's hook through the stomach of the giant coccodrillo that ate his hand, which is now stuffed and on display with a large clock in its mouth. The coccodrillo starts groaning, terrifying Hook, and it falls mouth-first on him. The captain disappears. Hook's gone!
Peter celebrates with the Lost Boys, but can't stay and play because his work in Neverland is done. He's saved his children, and now he must get them home. Bittersweet much? Campanellino sprinkles Jack and Maggie with fairy dust and escorts them home, as Peter lingers behind to say goodbye to the Lost Boys and appoint a new leader. (Congrats, Thud Butt.)
Jack and Maggie fly back into the nursery and get back in bed, deciding not to wake up their sleeping mother yet. Yes, best to pop out of letto and give her and Granny Wendy cuore attacks. Much better plan.
Peter wakes up on the snowy ground beneath the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens to the sound of a man cleaning up bottles... is that you, Mr. Smee? Campanellino makes one last appearance and tells Peter that she'll always Amore him and be waiting for him in that place between asleep and awake. Peter heads back to Granny Wendy's and finds his phone buried in the snow, but he's much più interested in climbing the drainpipe into the nursery than catching up on work.
Peter pretends to be angry about Jack being near the window, scaring the kids into thinking he was back to his old self, but he's just playing with them. He hugs his family and returns Toodles' marbles, which are his happy thought. The family is back together again, Hook is gone, and Toodles flies off to have the time of his old life.
It's been twenty-five years, and Hook is still just as great as it was the first time. Mind you, I've watched it so many times, I don't exactly remember the first time. Still, it holds up. It doesn't seem dated. The cars and the clothes don't seem old o odd. (Well, maybe the Lost Boys' clothes, but they're supposed to be that way.)
Some things, like the cell phone thing I mentioned at the beginning, are funnier now than they were at the time. Not funny ha-ha, funny strange. Cell phones were a rarity in the early 90s, but look into any audience now and you're sure to see at least a handful of screens lit up. This was the first sign of Peter being a bad parent. What's that say about the new normal?
Steven Spielberg's vision brought us on a fantastic adventure to a place we've all wanted to visit at some point in our lives. John Williams's score is beautiful and pulls the movie together perfectly.
All the performances in this movie were A+. Robin Williams as Peter Banning, a boy who grew up and Lost touch with who he really was. Dustin Hoffman, the twisted but elegant Captain Hook. Amber Scott as Maggie, a little girl who just wants to be with her family. Charlie Korsmo as Jack, a boy who needs his father back. Maggie Smith as Granny Wendy, the woman who loved Peter Pan all her life. Bob Hoskins as Mr. Smee, one of the coolest pirates around. Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, the pixie who never stopped believing. And the Lost Boys. They were great. Every single one of them.
The lessons learned in Hook are still relevant. Don't forget who te are. Don't forget to love. Don't forget to play. Don't take life too seriously. And most importantly, don't forget how to use your imagination.
