Me: ciao everyone this song is for....
Adam: Our very much hated...
Alec: Ex-Girlfriends!
*using the beat of The All-Ameican Rejects gives te hell*
We wake up every evening
With big smiles on our face
And they never feel out of place
And you're still probably working
At a 9-5 pace I wonder how bad that taste
When te see our faces hope it gives te hell
Hope it gives te hell
When te walk our way hope it gives te hell
Hope it gives te hell
*Adam plays four of his chitarra strings*
And where's your picket fence love?
And where's that shinny car, did it ever get te far?
You've never seen so dence...

Chapter 1: At the mela, apple farm
Snake:Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Derpy: Knocks on door*
Snake:* opens door*
Derpy: Hi Rick, here's your mail.
Snake: Oh, thanks Derpy.
Derpy: So are te doing anything later tonight?
Snake: Not that I can think of why?
Derpy: Well I was… wondering if… maby we could--
Snake: Shoot I'm gonna be late for work!!! Uh, see te later Derpy.
Derpy: Oh yeah see ya.
*at the mela, apple farm* 
Rift: ciao Rick, you're two minuti late!!
Snake: Sorry, I slept in a little late.
Applejack: ciao there sugar cube. *kisses Snake*
Snake: Mornin' Applejack. 
Big Macintosh: Remember; if te break mah sisters heart,...

Chapter 1: Visiting
Rift: Ok stella, star I need te to keep your eyes closed.
Star: What are te trying to mostra me daddy?
Rift: Ok, open your eyes.
Star: What's this?
Rift: It's your grandfathers' armor.
Star: How come it's not it's traditional oro and white?
Rift: Because your grandfather he was the Colonel of the royal guards.
Star: Wow.
Rift: Yup, he was the greatest. Even Queen Chrysalis feared him.
Star: What happened to him?
Rift: Chrysalis got lucky. Have te ever heard of project Ursa?
Star: Is that where te pane the Ursa majors and minors?
Rift: No, it was a group of the best royal guards there were....

Interviewer: So here we have.....
Me: Liam o William I prefer my Scottish name off duty....
Alec: Alec I'm the drummer....
John: I'm the secondo guitarest John.....
Adam: And I'm the first guitarest Adam....
Interviewer: So what are your thoughts on the iPad?
Me: The iPad eh? *bites lower lip*
Adam: The iPad is great, the iPad 2 was better......
Alec: But we're not entierly sure about the iPad 3.
John: Eeyup, we've had some problems with Internet refresh, and having to restart it a whole lot, but over all it's not a bad product.
Me: Yeah, we understand why Steve needed to make the iPad 3. Every one expects...

Chapter 1: Normal Saturday
Rift: *wakes up* Morning Pinkie.
Pinkie: Morning Rift.
Rift: *kisses Pinkie's nose*
Pinkie: What would te like for breakfast?
Rift: I'll just have some coffee for now. I'm not hungry.
Pinkie: Ok.
Rift: Oww, my back is killin' me.
Pinkie: *out of bed* From what?
Rift: I guess from carrying all those apples with Macintosh.
Pinkie: *massages Rift's back* How does that feel?
Rift: A little lower please. 
Pinkie: There, is that better?
Rift: Yeah, thanks Pinkie.
Pinkie: You're welcome.
Later....*
Rift: Ok, so what is your guys problem with my wife playing video games with us?
Sonic Dash:...

Chapter 1: New kid
Rift: Riff what're te doing?
Riff: Boxing.
Rift: Here let me mostra te how. te keep both hands up, and when te jab te keep one arm up to defend your face.
Shining Armor: Yup. Riff spar with Jones for a bit I need a break. *vaults himself over the boxing ring's ropes*
Riff: Ok.
Rift: Arms up. Southpaw, left upper cut.
Riff: Woah!!
Rift: Hey, I'm saying what I'm doing and te need to find away to counter it. Again. Southpaw, left upper cut.
Riff: *dodges the southpaw and blocks the left uppercut*
Star: Hi daddy.
Rift: *looks over shoulder* Hi sweetie. What're te doing here? *pickes...

Chapter 1: Sleepless
Rift: *reading*
Fluttershy: *tightening accappatoio, vestaglia sash with wings and walking down staris* Rift, what's wrong? It's three in the morning.
Rift: Can't sleep.
Fluttershy: Why can't te sleep? I thought te could fall asleep easily when you're with me.
Rift: *Looks up at Fluttershy* I can it's just.......remeber a few weeks fa the nightmare I had?
Fluttershy: What about it?
Rift: I keep having it.
Fluttershy: *kisses Rift's cheek*'Ok, well if te get tired just come on up to bed.
Rift: Ok, good night and/or morning Angel.
Fluttrshy: Good night.
Later that morning....*
Kat: *walking down stairs*...

Rift: *sigh* This island probably wasn't the best damn place for an engineering career, superiore, in alto of my engineering class and I get stuck as a fucking security engineer, not even the same thing, I'm just the one pony who cleans the guns. Heh, mom probably wouldn't have been happy about this, but why should I care o even think about that fucking slut of a pegasus? It's all her fault I'm here in the first place her cheating on dad ever since me and Sheila where born, yeah some real fucking commitment she made, she was the one who pushed me here so she could forget about her only two children and fuck...

Chapter 1: Study
Donatello: *knocks on door*
Rift: Hi Donatello. te here for the study session with Kat?
Donatello: Yes sir I am.
Rift: She's up in her room.
Donatello: I'll find my way. *walks into Susie's room* 
Susie: *using a blowdryer* Hm? Ahhh!
Donatello: Sorry wrong room.
*Donatello finally finds Kat's room*
Kat: Hi Donatello. What took te so long?
Donatello: I went in to all the bedrooms, well Susie's, Dewdrop's, and Calvin's.
Kat: Yeah, it's like a maze in here.
Later...*
Kat: te get how to use a punnett square now?
Donatello: Yeah, te know: I've never noticed how cute your eyes are.
Kat: *Blushes*...

Chapter 1: First day.
Rift: *asleep* What no, no, I didn't have anything to do with the oatmeal. 
Twilight: Rift get up.
Rift: School!!!!!
Twilight: What?
Rift: Oh, sorry Twi, dumb dreams.
Twilight: Would cialde help you?
Rift: te made waffles?
Twilight: Yep I know how much te like them.
Rift: *Hugs and kisses Twilight* Thank you, you're the best girlfriend ever.
In kitchen*
Rift's dad: Mornin Rift, miss Sparkle.
Rift: Mornin dad.
Twilight: Good morning Mr. Jones.
Rift's dad: Mr. Jones is my father, te can call me Jack.
Twilight: Ok, Jack.
Rift: I'm never gonna get use to hearing that.
Chapter 2: At school...

Rift and Twilight: Book 1
Chapter 1: Smart love
*at Rift's house*
Rift:Zzzzzzzzz..
Twilight: ciao Rift, wake up.
Rift: Mom, just another five minuets...
Twilight: Well, I'm not your mom, and I won't give te five più minuti because I made breakfast.
Rift: Dang it sorry Twi, te sound like my mom.
Twilight: But can she make cialde like I do?
Rift: te know I Amore your cialde Twilight.
Twilight/Rift: *walking down stairs*
Twilight: So, uh, Rift?
Rift: Yeah?
Twilight: Have te thought about what I detto about te and Spike?
Rift: As long as he stays on my good side I won't trample him.
Twilight: Why can't...

*This takes place sometime between the first and secondo games*
Chapter 1: Meet Isaac and Rift
Pilot pony: Ok we're entering the docking port of the ESC Eudora.
Head engineer pony: Ok te two get ready for the repairs.
Isaac: Got it sir come on Rift, get your R.I.G on.
Fluttershy on video message: I Amore te Rift.
Isaac: How many times have te watched that?
Rift: più than te can count Isaac.
Isaac: Come on just get your R.I.G on.
Rift: *steps into R.I.G machine and emerges with R.I.G on*
Rift's R.I.G computer: Resource Integration Gear set up for Jones, Rift. Age: Not programmed , Height: 6"3', Other...

Rift and Fluttershy: Book Two
Chapter 1: Daily grind.
Rift: Zzzzzzzzzz.
Kat & Susie: Daddy, Daddy wake up!!!!
Rift: Huh, no, no I don't need to get up till eleven.
Fluttershy: Um,Rift it's 11:32 you're going to be late for work.
Rift: Wait what!?!? Oh dang, Fluttershy give me my imbracatura please!
Fluttershy: Sure big boy, *holds Rift's imbracatura in her mouth*eer oo o.
Rift: Thanks Fluttershy *puts on imbracatura and kisses Fluttershy's cheek*
Kat: Awwww, how cute.
Susie: Ewww.
Rift: Big Macintosh is gonna have my hide if I'm late. *whistles* Taxi!
Later........*
Big Mac: You're late Rift.
Rift: I know Big Mac,...

Prologue: The beginning
Rift's father: He's so cute honey, I knew he would what should we name him?
Rift's mother: How about Rift.
Rift's father: Rift?
Rift's mother: Rift, for that scar going down his eye.
Rift's father: That's just perfect, our little Rift.
Nurse: Ahh I see he's awake.
Rift: Daddy.
Rift's father: *gasp* Honey he detto his first word.
*5 years later*
Rift: ciao dad where are we goin'?
Dad: We are going to see a play at your school.
Rift: Awwwww, how'd te find out?
Mom: We saw the flyer te tried to throw away mister.
Rift: Shoot.
*at Rifts school*
Teacher: Ok class we have a new student today...

Me: This song I dedicated to my dog and my grandmother, may they rest in peace.
*John and Adam play a few of thier chitarra strings*
Good bye old friend I hardly knew it was your time to go.
*Alec joins with his drumms*
Where did all the years go of the joy
and Amore that you've brought to me?
Why did ya leave me
All alone here?
How did this happen so soon?
You wheren't suppose to leave me till noon.
On the giorno after tomarrow.
If there's one thing I learned,
Is that good things never last.
Why did te leave me so fast?
Can't I get just one più giorno with you?
*instrumental*
*just me*
If I could do it all over...

*using the beat of green day's minority*
I don't need Christianity
We don't need their insanity
Down with the moral majority
'Cause we din't need Christianity

I pledge allegiance to the USA!
One nation under liberty
There of which I stand alone
A face in the crowd
Unsung, against the mold
Without a doubt
Singled out
The only way I know

'Cause I don't need Christianity
We don't need their insanity
Down with the moral majority
'Cause we don't need Cristianesimo

Stepped out of the line
Like a pecora, pecore runs from the herd
Marching out of time
To my own beat now
The only way I know

One light, one mind
Flashing in the dark...

(using the beat to Green Day's American Idiot)
Don't want to be a Terroist idiot!
Don't want a nation under the new terror
And can te hear the sounds of alkida?
The subliminal mind freak the Terroist! (Shows the Irish flip off
/)
Welcom to that new kind of tension
All across the third world nation,
Where every thing is ment to be OK!
Weapons dream of tomorrow,
there not the ones ment to follow
For that's enough to kill them!
Well maby I'm the American, Terroisit!
I'm not part of your terror agenda!
Now every one do the Bin-Ladin,
And sing along to the age of Terroia.
Welcom to that new kind of tension...

Kota: Rift, te have been deemed as a Jedi outcast for forming an attachment with Twilight Sparkle. te are to be exiled to your home planet Naboo and watched all giorno every giorno to ensure te don't go on a rampage.
Guard: *puts magnetic binders on Rift's wrists* Sorry sir. We have to escort te to the land speeder.
Twilight: I'm sorry Rift. I had to tell someone about us.
Rift: It's fine te had to tell and te told some one te trusted.
*in the ship*
Pilot: Damn road block.
Rift: *looking out window* 
Pilot: What is that...
*another speeder crashes into the one Rift is riding in and blows up*
Rift:...

Chapter 1: Normal morning
At five in the morning*
Rift:Zzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Shining Armor: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Radio: Good morning Equestria, this is your preferito announcer pony, today the forecast is-
Rift: *smakes snooze button with hoof*
Shining Armor: Ok.... Rise and shine every pony *gets out of Bunk*Rift get up.
Rift: I'm not getting up till it's six.
Shining Armor: *Pushes Rift out of Rift's bunk*
Rift: Fine, I'm up.
In mess hall...*
Shining Armor: te know one thing I've noticed?
Rift: That this coffe tastes like mud and caffeine?
Shining Armor: Well that.... And how princess Luna is always down here....

Narrator: In the cuore in Ponyville where two Amore birds dwell, they've been in Amore for nearly their whole child hood. But are they ready for the biggest challenge yet? Their marriage.
Rift: I was getting married. So what?
Narrator: te have no idea.
Rift: No idea about what?
Narrator: You'll soon find out as te remember the craziest night of you're life.
Rift: My first time sleeping with Fluttershy?
Narrator: Just listen to my words. He will experience danger.
Rift: *running* Why'd te bring me to see the cockatrice again?
Two-Bit: *running successivo to Rift* I thought te could try and beat it with...