THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC secondo LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying te screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything te are not.
Amore may be beautiful, Amore may be bliss,
But I only slept with te 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could Amore no other --
That is until I met your brother.
rose are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the rose are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I Amore your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, te take my breath away.
What have te stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for te no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
