Is anyone here who have interest in "Haiku"....

Because, i wanna write Haiku.. .
.
and i wrote it,
Need your consigli ..
About haiku i wrote!
Here:
A lady
And love
Rainy
.
Dusk a
lady lad
man in
.
I want your advice.. .

 K_lleH-Hell_k posted più di un anno fa
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poesia Risposte

SRitchieable said:
The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement.

A traditional Japanese haiku goes:
Girls planting paddy [ie riso fields]
Only their song
Free of mud.

As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the riso paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if te think it through.

I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern o paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie riso paddy planting, Amore etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject.

So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what te want to say. Is a lady in Amore like the rain o a rainy day? Is Amore like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps:
Rain falls on
A lady; it
Is like love.

o whatever it is te TRULY want to say.


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 The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement. A traditional Japanese haiku goes: Girls planting paddy [ie riso fields] Only their song Free of mud. As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the riso paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if te think it through. I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern o paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie riso paddy planting, Amore etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject. So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what te want to say. Is a lady in Amore like the rain o a rainy day? Is Amore like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps: Rain falls on A lady; it Is like love. o whatever it is te TRULY want to say.
posted più di un anno fa 
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Thank You!!
K_lleH-Hell_k posted più di un anno fa
RiderOfTempest said:
i always thought that haiku had to have 5 letters in the 1st line, seven in the 2nd, and 5 again in the 3rd.....
then again, i've never studied it properly....

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posted più di un anno fa 
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Lol, :D
K_lleH-Hell_k posted più di un anno fa
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actually its five syllables not letters
RiverIce posted più di un anno fa
Jace123 said:
I like Haiku its preety nice!
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posted più di un anno fa 
RiverIce said:
I always thought that Haiku was like
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7
1st line: 5
like:

The fiori I pick
They dance with colors, like me
The colori never fade

or

Amore is a Boulder
te can study it nicely
o let the rock fall

i like the 2nd one
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 I always thought that Haiku was like 1st line: 5 syllables 2nd line: 7 1st line: 5 like: The fiori I pick They dance with colors, like me The colori never fade o Amore is a Boulder te can study it nicely o let the rock fall i like the 2nd one
posted più di un anno fa 
audrey34-z said:
A haiku is a short,timed poesia that expression throught a 5-7-5 syllabes.
te have to expell your image that is ephemer.Meaning it doesn't stay too long.

Giappone origin, they have to compress their sensation,season into small line. The best option is figure of style,compar it to another object,material o double sense.

Your's is dry,only 4 syllabes to each vers (Tetrasyllabe) and not so expressif.The text give te an illusion of being an haiku since the 2nd one is long to others snce te can do a 7 syllabes one.
But it doesn't mean that te have to stop, the road to a better haiku is long and expression and idea clasing will make te a better writter.
The road may be long but te can do it.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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