I have a contest for te bored people of fanpop!

this was the funniest one I could find.

When life gives te lemons, throw them at old people!

In Harry potter instead of saying pulling my leg they say 'pulling my wand!!'

Friendship is like peeing in water it gives te that warm feeling - some random website

Or

te laugh I laugh te cry I cry te jump off a cliff Iz miss ur funny emails.

When life gives te lemons, throw them at Justin Bieber.

Not trying to be mean, I just thought it was funny.

Shanaynay, ftw! XD

All of these are from "The Princess Bride".

-"Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

-"He's right on superiore, in alto of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

-"I do not mean to pry, but te don't da any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"
"Do te always begin conversations this way?"

-"We'll never survive!"
" Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."

-"thank te so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't te give me a nice paper cut and pour limone succo, succo di frutta on it?"

-"She is alive, o was an ora ago. If she is otherwise when I find her I shall be very put out."

-"Ha, your pig fiance is too late!"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." :D

"Look At Me With My Pretty Bracelet And Tiara..I'm A Fuckin' Princess!" - Gerard Way

When mad, take a deep breath and count to ten.
When REALLY mad, swear and throw things at people.

- Benjamin Franklin

1.friendship is like peeing te pants..
everyone can see but only te can feel its warmth

2.if Barbie isnt a sl** then why do we have to buy her boyfriends

*Gasp* What's that on yo face? *Slaps you* AAAHHHH!! How could I have possibly forget?!It was pain!!

Got acne? Ask your girlfriend what to do, oh yea u don't have A girlfriend

COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!
COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

If at first te don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

My personal favorite.

These are Citazioni from the stories I'm Leggere "And Romeo Forgot His Lines" and "Mixed Dorms, Student/Teacher Relations Are Aloud, And Sex Ed Is A Core Subject. Welcome To High School?"

Any way the Citazioni are:
Great. He's 6 years old and he's already gay.
333 I'm only half evil

1. if te want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

2. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

funny video he my friend got owned for being an moron lol.

Boing, boing boing! Even bigger than a boeing, boeing boeing!

A,B,C,D,E,F,G gummy bears are chasing me one is Red one is Blue one is trying to take my shoe and now im running for my life cuz the Red one has a coltello lol this is true

"Oh my god, I found it!"
"What, your virginity?"
"No, I Lost that YEARS ago."

XDD

I bet te thought that I was awfully sweet.
Well, te thought wrong.
I bet te thought I was an angel.
well, te thought wrong.
Hm, should of changed your mind before I raped te and ha rubato, stola your lungs.

"Um dude, what are te doing?"
"I'm trying to get down there!" *points to a ledge below*
"Oh, well, that's hard."
*groans* "No!" *tries to get down*
"Dude, I think te should go with climbing down those wires-"
"No!" *is on his stomach and reaches down over the ledge*
"Dude, dude, look at your options-"
*groans*
"Look at your options, go with the better option."
*tries to get down but fails, smashing his head and legs against the bottom ledge and falls to his death*
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...."


Stupid, but I'm being as funny as I can. XD

Last night I lay in letto looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

1. When life gives te lemons, throw them at people te hate.

2. Teacher:"Class, can te see God? No. Can te hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can te see your brain? No. Can te hear your brain? No. So te have no brain!"

3. Child: "Teacher may i go to the bathroom?"
Teacher: "First say your ABC's."
Child: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ"
Teacher: "Where's the P?"
Child: "Trckling down mg leg!"

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

What te call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what te call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Friends r like potatos , u eat them they die :D


sora97

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Wal-Mart. Do they like make walls there o something?-Paris Hilton

BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD UNTIE!

Blonde:What does 'IDK' mean?
Boy:I don't know!

Teacher:"Class, can te see God? No. Can te hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can te see your brain? No. Can te hear your brain? No. So te have no brain!"

Anna: [drugged] I feel like a delfino who's never tasted melted snow. What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I must speak with the dolphins now. Eeeee-eeee-eee-eeeeeee!
-Hudson Hawk

Its random and plus you've never seen the movie so its funny right?

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over the garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!"

My friend found a possum eating her breakfast this morning. She was about to throw it out, then my other friend started to eat it O_O Not THAT funny, I just wanted to see how anyone would react to my daily life. XD

I have 2 A friend will bail te out of jail a true friend will be right successivo to te saying "man we really fucked up!"

Gtg btw I was Canto raise your glass in a store today and I sang " call me up if te r gangsta" and this 32 yr old looked at me and my mom pretended to kick his ass
 ~JJ~ 

A few from my preferito mostra (okay sorry a lot, but you're più likely to find a funny one with more).

Louis: *over phone* So you’re having a baby, must feel really special. Course there are over six billion people in the world, every one of them was a baby so when te put it in perspective how special can te be?
Damon: *Looks over, sees Louis sitting at his scrivania, reception three feet away talking on phone, plays along* We’ve had serious infertility issues.
Louis: And I’m moved I truly am moved, but if that cell phone goes off in my presence again you’re going to have serious career issues. Also I don’t like te very much. *sits cell phone down looks up, pops pen. Speaks as if nothing is odd.* Check on James Burke?

Damon: Am I always gonna be that guy that got shot on his first giorno on homicide?
Louis: Uh, I knew this cop back in New York, secondo week on the job there was a shootout. He comes up to me after, he’s all panicked cause he wet his pants, doesn’t want anybody to find out cause he knows he’ll never live it down, but I realized it wasn’t urine on his pants it was blood. So I tell him he got shot and he was very happy to find out that news.
Damon: So you’re saying it could have been worse, I could of pissed my pants?

Louis: Did te touch my scorpion?
Damon: No
Louis: Well somebody did. When I left the stinger was pointing north and now it’s the other way.
Damon: Fine, I picked it up.
Louis: Why would te do that?
Damon: Look at your desk, te got a computer and a phone, not a single personal artifact, then that thing appears. How am I not gonna pick it up?
Louis: te control yourself like a grown man.
Damon: Come on.
Louis: If te touch anything on my scrivania, reception I will chop off your hands, I’ll lock them in the gun safe!
Damon: *disturbed* Roger that. *Looks at Ariana who just shrugs.*

Ariana: Your shooter must have been Jonesing pretty bad, he threw up everywhere.
Louis: That wasn’t the shooter. *nods towards Damon*
Ariana: No way.
Louis: Way

hmmm
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own

credit to my rei~chan, he keeps telling me that, along with ending every sentence with "on this the giorno of my daughters wedding"

"People they die when they are killed."

q,w,e,r,t,y,u,i,o,p,a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,z,x,c,v,b,n, and m, now i know my qwert's! PANDAS!!!!!!

i worry about my short attention span-but not for long.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

Behind every cagna is a man that made her that way.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.


woman in bathroom: *washing hands*
other woman: did te even use the bathroom?
woman1:nope.
woman2: then why are te washing your hands?
woman1: *stops and goes to dryer.* Bacon, here I come!!!

A good friend helps te up when te fall...
A BEST friend burts out laughing, trips te again, and continues to laugh.

1.While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world................. Then he made the world round -_-

2. I was shopping at the local supermercato where I bought milk, bread, eggs, arancia, arancio juiceand beef.
As I was unloading my iteams on the conveyor, the drunk standing behind me detto "You must be single".
I was a bit confused but was intrigued da his declaration since I indeed haven't found Mr Right.
I looked at the items on the belt. Nothing that was particularly unusual o would tell a drunk I was single.
Curiosity got the better of me so I asked "How on earth did te know that?"
The drunk replied... "Cause your ugly!"

3.A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade class. "Humans are the only animali that stutter" she said.
A little girl raised her ahnd and detto "I had a kitty that stuttered once.
The teacher knowing how precious childrens stories are, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well" she begun "I was in the backyard with my kitty when the successivo door neighbours rottweiler jumped the fence!"
"That must have been scary!" detto the teacher.
"It was" detto the girl "My kitty raised her back, went Fffffff Ffffff Ffffff but before she could say fuck off the rottwieler ate her!"

Hahahaha i think these are hilarious XD

te cry, I cry, te laugh, I laugh, te fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say people don't kill people, pistole do, so the successivo time I fail a test I can blame my pencil.

<3

There were 2 cousins:a little boy and a little girl.the girl was staying with her couisinn tht night.the mom drew a bath and the 2 young kids got in."Don't look down"said the boy.The girl looked down and said,"What's Tht?""Thts Snakey detto the boy.Later tht night they went to bed.The successivo morning blood was on the sheets."What Happened?"asked the boy.the gurl said,"Snakey sprayed me so I bit him off"

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

Here's a comic about one of my greatest fears. Terrifying, isn't it?

1.hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?

2.the world is going to hell and im driveing the bus

In 70 years Willow Smith will be singing
" I rock my chair back and forth"

It made me laugh XD

"When life give te lemons te throw them back and scream:GIVE ME SOME SKITTLES BITCH!

o

te cry I cry.

Helth Cibo my be good four te but but chips and Cioccolato taste bettera