What would te rate my fanfiction? Honest please.

(Naruto is a new student)
“You can have a sede, sedile beside Mr. Uchiha.” He detto pointing to me. My cuore froze. Yes. Naruto extended a pale, soft, hand.
“Hi, I’m Naruto.” I took his hand, squeezing it gently.
“I’m Sasuke. Would you…like to hang out later?” He smiled warmly.
“Sure, sounds fun.” Shikamaru Nara shot me a teasing look, he knew I was falling…hard. Kakashi Hatake stepped out of the room with Iruka for a moment and Shikamaru Nara turned to me with a smirk.
“Kiss the new boy.” Naruto and I blushed.
“Let’s not scare him okay.” Naruto laughed.
“I wouldn’t mind.” I blushed and Shika began chanting “kiss him, baciare him” making me turn scarlet.
“Naruto, te don’t want me to do that. I-I’m gay.”
“So? So am I.” I gasped. Things couldn’t get più perfect. Suddenly everyone was chanting “kiss him” so I softly captured the blondes lips in mine, brushing my tongue against his lips. He opened his mouth to me and I quickly explored the boys warm cavern. Shikamaru Nara then began to laugh.
“Uh…you guys having issues down there?” We looked down and both of us had giant erections. We both turned as red as the crest on my back. I couldn’t hold it back anymore.
“So…would te like to go out with me? Like, as my boyfriend?”
“I’d Amore too.” Suddenly the entire class burst into laughter and Kakashi Hatake walked back into the room.
“Um, what are te guys doing?”
“Nothing…” He glared at us.
“Please get seated Sasuke.” I got up from where I was kneeling beside Naruto and got back in my seat. A bubbly feeling welled up in my chest and a warm sensation was growing in my groin. I had a boyfriend…that was beyond my wildest imagination. School was going da way to slowly now, because I wanted to have time to get to know Naruto better. Kiba nuzzled his face into Shikamaru’s shoulder and I smiled. I wanted Naruto to do that to me. I wanted him be in my arms, sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza a secure, feeling all my Amore radiating f
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it was supposed to say "radiating from my chest"
RikuSoraKairi3 posted più di un anno fa
 RikuSoraKairi3 posted più di un anno fa
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random Risposte

sarabeara said:
Wait. They've just met and now they're making out to the point where they both have erections?

If so (I truly do mean this in the nicest way possible), te seriously need to work on character development. People don't get together in 30 seconds. That's something te have to build up to.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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yeah, agree
HaleyDewit posted più di un anno fa
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It's based off a dream I had last night and that's just they way it happened XD
RikuSoraKairi3 posted più di un anno fa
Me_Iz_Here said:
Waaaaaaaaaat? is all I can say.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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