" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
home SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All te Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.
The fastest way to a fisherman's cuore is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck te out of your car
I break for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
Friends help te move; real Friends help te sposta the body.
Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's culo and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animali eat their young
We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
YOUR TURN SIGNAL IS STILL ON
IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE
U.S.M.C. UNCLE SAMS MISGUIDED CHILDREN
Eternity: Smoking o Non-Smoking?
I wasn't born a bitch; men like te made me that way.
I Amore to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do te want
They didn't let me out, they just gave me a giorno pass!
(Front Bumper) If te can read this, I didn't hit te hard enough.
...and i should care, why?
100,000 Sperm And te Were The Fastest?
186,000 Miles/Second: It’s Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The Law!
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
7 days with out Gesù makes one weak
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A church alive is worth the surprise!!
A giorno without sunshine is like, night.
A giorno Without Sunshine Is Like, te Know, Night
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
A topo, mouse Is An elefante Built da The Japanese
A nuclear war can ruin your whole giorno .
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Abandon the cerca for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity
Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
All generalizations are false.
All I want is less to do, più time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
All Men Are Idiots... And I Married Their King.
All my drinking buddies have a racing problem.
All stressed out and nobody to choke!
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always Remember: You’re Unique, Just Like Everyone Else.
AMERICA-Love It o Leave It!
Amnesia used to be my preferito word, but then I forgot it.
ANGER IS MERELY DEPRESSION WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM!
Another brilliant mind ruined da higher education.
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
Anything Free Is Worth What te Pay For It
Are te following Gesù this close?
As If
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Ask me about micro waving Gatti for fun and profit.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Ass, gas o grass, nobody rides for free.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy
Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk
Ax Me About Ebonics
Back the badge
Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?
BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!
Barbie AIN'T HERE!.
Be Human.
Be nice society already sucks.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be Nice To Your Kids; They’ll Pick Out Your Nursing Home.
Be the kind of friend you'd want.
Be the kind of person te always wanted your parents to be.
Be ye fishers of men. te catch them - He will clean them.
Beam me up Jesus.
Beauty is in the eye of the birra holder...
BEER, Helping people have sex since 1865.
Beer: It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.
Beer: making woman look better since 1965.
Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure te have enough to spare!
Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are two.
Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.
Bill Clinton 89% Fact Free
Bite Me!
Black holes are where God divided da zero.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Blondes Tease....Brunettes Please....
Blow your nose, your horn works fine.
Body da Nautilus; Brain da Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
BOMB SQUAD: If te see me running te better catch up!
BooYah!
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Boy bands. The spawn of Satan.
Boycott shampoo, demand real poo instead.
Boys Lie!
Bumper sticker in the anno 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS
But I Just Can’t Get My Head That Far Up My Ass
Buy a gun support the constitution.
Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.
Buy American!
Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?
CAN te HEAR ME NOW!!! ??
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Careful, I’m not wearing clean underwear!
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde
CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS.
CAUTION! I drive like te do!
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
CAUTION: This car will be left behind during rapture.
Change a life; make someone feel important.
Change is good...you go first!
Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine
Chemistry Professors Never Die, They Just Smell That Way!
Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.
Clean up America. Kill a redneck!
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Clones are people 2
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Conceive. Believe. Achieve.
Condoms are easier to change than diapers!
Confidence is the feeling te have before te understand the situation.
Confucious say "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Conserve toilet paper - use both sides.
Conserve water - doccia with a friend
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could te Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass?
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
D.A.M.M.- Drunks Against Mad Mothers
DANGER: I drive like te do!
DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
DARE to keep the CIA off drugs.
Death is God's way of telling te not to be such a wise guy.
Death is life's way of telling te you're fired.
Death is nature's way of telling te to slow down.
Death is the consequence of being alive.
Deep down, divers care.
Democrats=Beaureaucrats: STUPID
Despite The Cost Of Living, Have te Noticed How It Remains So Popular?
Despite the cost of living, have te noticed how it remains so popular?
DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!
Dewey,Skrewem, & Howe (attorneys at law)
Did te check if your horn works?
Did te just fart o did te always smell that way?
Diplomacy Is Saying “Nice Doggy” Until te Find A Rock
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
Disappointed? Too bad!
Divers get più tail.
Do I look like a freakin' People Person?
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for te are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.
Do not put a domanda mark where God put a period.
Do they ever shut up on your planet.
Do unto others before they do unto you.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.
Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?
D'oh!
Don’t Drink And Drive...You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink.
Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; te Won’t Get Out Alive
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
Don't believe everything te hear o anything te say.
Don't believe everything te think.
Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.
Don't delay, paint today
Don't Drink and Drive!
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Don't drive and derive. Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Don't f*** with my head and I won't think with my dick!
Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!
Don't judge a book da its movie.
Don't laugh it's paid for.
Don't laugh; your daughter may be in back.
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
Don't make me go medieval on you.
Don't miss heaven for the world.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
Don't rub the lamp unless you're ready for the genie.
Don't start with me te won't win!
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't trust women.
Don't wish for it...work for it.
Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.
DRIVE IT LIKE te ha rubato, stola IT!
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..
Drop Dead
Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.
Dyslexics Have più Fnu.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Dyslexics Untie!
E. coli Happens
Each giorno is a gift.
Eagles Don't Flock.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
Earth first... We will strip the other planets later.
Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Editing Is A Rewording Activity
Elvis has left the planet.
Elvis Is Dead And I’m Not Feeling Too Good Myself
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery
Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.
Entropy Isn’t What It Used To Be
Eschew Obfuscation
Eschew Obfuscation
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION. (means avoid confusion/overcomplication)
Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every silver lining has a cloud.
Every thing is on loan from the government until te can't pay your taxes.
Everybody looks Ribelle - The Brave holding a machine gun.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Everything i need to know i learned in prison
Everything is possible just not too probable.
Everything Is Somewhere.
Everytime te speak te make someone dumber for listening to you.
EXIT
F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm!
Faster than a speeding ticket.
Fat chicks make my car scrape!
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Fight Socialism...Vote Republican
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
Flies spread disease, keep yours closed!
FLORIDA: home of Electile Dysfunction
FLORIDA: If te don't like the way we vote then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: If te think we can't vote, wait till te see us drive.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, And Revote.
FLORIDA: We count più than te do.
FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!
FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT !!
Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear.
For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes!
For him to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Friends don't let Friends drive naked!!
Friends don't let Friends miss out on heaven.
Friends Help te Move. Real Friends Help te sposta Bodies.
Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!
Get over it!
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
GIMMIEABREAK!
Give blood and te too can get a free bumper sticker.
Give Me Ambiguity o Give Me Something Else
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go Braless! It will pull the wrinkles from your face.
Go On, I will See te At The successivo Light.
God Bless Our Troops.
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve.
God Must Amore Stupid People, He Made So Many
God must Amore stupid people...he made so many!
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
Got Brains?
Got Goth?
Graduate quickly, millions on welfare depend on you.
Graduate Soon! Millions On Welfare Depend On You
Gravity always gets me down.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Gravity- It’s not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man
Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional.
Gun control is a steady hand.
Gun control today, Total control tomorrow.
pistole don't kill people. Postal workers do.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Hang up and drive!
Hang up and drive!
HANG-UP & DRIVE
Happiness is Clinton's face on a latte carton.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
Have te cagna slapped an environmentalist today?
Have te ever had deja vu? Have te ever had deja vu??
Have te ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
Have te seen Elvis? 1-800-GET-A-LIFE
HE IS ABLE WHO THINKS HE IS ABLE!
HE WHO ANGERS YOU, CONQUERS YOU.
He who angers you, controls you!
He who farts in church sits on his own pew.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The successivo Exit
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
He’s Not Dead, He’s Electroencephalographically-Challenged
cuore Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh.
Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
HELP, I AM Lost AND CANNOT FIND MY BEER!
ciao dumb culo I bought my own car, not mommy and daddy!
ciao idiot- You're driving a car, not a phone booth
ciao man, te live in America now... speak Spanish!
High beams were made to piss people off!
Hogwarts Dropout
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Honk if I'm Jesus!
Honk if te are blond.
Honk if te hate noise pollution!
Honk if te haven't slept with Clinton!
Honk if te like peace and quiet.
Honk if te Amore boy bands - then drive into a tree.
HONK IF te Amore GORE (use the button on your steering wheel)
Honk If te Amore Peace And Quiet
Honk if te Amore peace and quiet.
Honk if te Amore Rush.
Honk If te Want To See My Finger
Honk If You've Never Seen An uzi Fired From A Car Window
Hope dies last!
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
House Guarded da Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Housework makes women ugly.
How about never? is never good for you?
How Can I Miss te if te Won't Go Away?
How can I miss te if te won't go away?
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
How may i ignore te today?
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
huked on foniks werkd fer me
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
I admire gay men, they leave più women for me!
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I am not speeding I am qualifying.
I am overjoyed with whelm!
I am represented da the Law Firm of Dewey, Chedum, and Howe.
I believe in getting in hot water; it keeps te clean.
I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.
I brake for no apparent reason.
I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
I brake for…wait…AAAH!…NO BRAKES!!!!!
I can go from zero to cagna in 2.2 seconds.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your giorno and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
i can resist everything except temptation.
I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.
I didn't fight my way to the superiore, in alto of the Cibo chain to be a vegetarian.
I Do Whatever My riso Krispies Tell Me To
I do work for food.
I Don’t Have To Be Dead To Donate My Organ
I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every minuto Of It
I don't decaf
I don't do mornings.
I don't do requests.
I DON'T DRINK IT DULLS THE DRUGS.
I don't drive fast I fly low.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
I don't have a license to kill, I have a learner's permit.
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
I don't repeat gossip.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minuto of it!
I drank what?
I Drive Like This To Piss te Off
I drive like this to piss te off!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minuti of my life.
I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushin’ My Luck
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
I Got A Gun For My Wife; Best Trade I Ever Made.
I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade.
I hate bumper stickers!
I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.
I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
I have BAD PMS and GOOD BRAKES.... te must be feeling very lucky today.
I have no desire for money. Its stuff that i want.
I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
I hear te Lost your cat? Check under my tire.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I just filled up my car with gasoline. Now it's worth $50.00
I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
I just got Lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I just Amore nonverbal communication!
I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.
I Know What You’re Thinking And te Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
I know...I know...pull over
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!!
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!! This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
I left the womb for this?
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
I like te but I wouldn't want to see te working with sub-atomic particles.
I Amore animali - they taste great!
I Amore animals. I eat them and wear their skins.
I Amore cats...they taste just like chicken.
I Amore my country but fear my government.
I Amore my job...shoot me now!
I Amore uranus.
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!.
I may be slow; but I'm ahead of you.
I may have PMS, but you're still a dick!!
I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.
I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes
I must hurry, for there they go and i am their leader.
I Need Someone Really Bad. Are te Really Bad?
I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.
I press charges
I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!
I put in contacts for this?
I see dumb people.
I should never have invented the electoral college. -Al Gore
i souport publik edekasion
I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
I swerve for cats.
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
I think your hard drive has a slipped disk.
I think, therefore I'm dangerous
I took a pain pill. Why are te still here?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I Took An IQ Test And The Results Were Negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...
I Used To Be Indecisive. Now I’m Not Sure
I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
I WANT te to stay far away from me
I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.
I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me
I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive but suicide is a crime!
I wish I lived in New York, so I could have Voted Against Hilary!
I Wish I Was Barbie. That cagna has EVERYTHING.
I wish I were a glow worm a glow worm is never glum, because how could te be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
I Wonder How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges
I wonder if te would drive well if that cell phone were up your ass.
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I’m insured da the mafia, te hit me and we'll hit you.
I’m Just Driving This Way To Piss te Off.
I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.
I’m Out Of letto And Dressed – What più Do te Want?
I'd Amore to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate.
I'd rather be fishing!
Idiots surround me!
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
If at first te do succeed, try not to look astonished.
If At First te Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
If at first te don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you.
If at first te don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
If Barbie is so popular, why do te have to buy her friends?
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animali out of meat?
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
If ignorance is bliss, te must be orgasmic.
If It Ain’t Broken... Fix It ‘Til It Is
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If it is a man made world, why can't we remake it?
If it isn't broken...fix it until it is!
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.
IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD
If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?
If life hands te a lemon, stuff your bra with it.
If life is just a game then I must have missed the kickoff.
If life's an idiot then te must the god.
If Amore is blind why is lingerie so popular?
If my car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
If something goes without saying - LET IT!
If the company's name is YELLOW, why are the trucks painted ORANGE?
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
If We All Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat.
If te are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
If te are Leggere this te are Leggere off a gay internet site...
If te can do the time, te can do the crime.
If te can read this bumper sticker te are driving too close.
If te can read this I can deploy your air bag!!!
If te can read this I have Lost my caravan.
If te can read this sign te must be a Florida Republican.
If te can read this the cagna fell off.
If te can read this te are too close..
If te can read this you're in range.
If te can read this, I am parked.
If te can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If te Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
If te can read this, roll me over.
If te can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!
If te can read this,you were hooked on phonics once...
If te can read this. thank a teacher.
If te can read this... I've Lost my trailer!
If te cannot convince them, confuse them.
If te can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
If te can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If te Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
If te can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
iF te CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TAKE A HIKE!
If te didn't get caught, did te really do it?
If te don't like my attitude, stop looking at my stickers!
If te don't like the news, go out and make some.
If te don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
If te Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
If te feel attacked da feminism, it's probably a counter attack.
If te get any closer I'll fart!
If te have something to say, raise your hand. and place it over your mouth.
If te smoke after s e x you're doing it too fast.
If te Think I’m A Bitch, Wait Until te Meet My Mother
If te think the car is dirty te should spend a night with the driver!
If te think the way to a man's cuore is through his stomach...your aiming too high.
If te think this week was a drag, wait till te see what happens successivo week!
If te understand something today, it must be obsolete.
If te write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!!
If your gonna be a turd then go lie out in the yard.
If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it!
If your stupid and te know it honk your horn.
If you're against logging, try wiping your culo with plastic.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
I'll not stop
Illiterate? Write For Free Help
I'm a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Keep honking I'm reloading.
I'm against ABORTION because I was once a fetus.
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.
I'm back da popolare demand.
I'm feeling uppity
I'm leaving my body to science fiction
I'm looking inoltrare, avanti to regretting this!
I'm not a psychiatrist; I'm just an expert at being confused.
I'm not as dumb as te look.
I'm not as think as te drunk I am.
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
I'm not littering.... I'm donating to the earth.
I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV.
Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.
I'm not your monkey
I'm objective; I object to everything.
I'm only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.
I'm only driving this way to piss te off.
I'm only here to ANNOY!!
I'm out of letto and dressed. What più do te want?
I'm serious; it was a joke.
I'm so hungry I am farting fresh air.
I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
I'm with the band.
I'm wondering if te have any horns with goofy songs?
Impeach President Clinton and her husband too.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
In theory, everything works.
Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
Insanity is hereditary; te get it from your kids!
Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe te should be concentrating on the road!
IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got.
It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
It Is As Bad As te Think, And They Are Out To Get You.
It takes a Viking to raze a village.
It takes più faith to believe that I came from a monkey than to believe that I came from God.
It took 40 years to make me look this good.
It’s been one of those days all week
It’s Lonely At The Top, But te Eat Better.
It's a Macintosh; it's got an excuse.
It's a wonderful life.... With me.
It's all a pigment of your hallucination.
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Its always too early to quit.
It's as BAD as te think, and they ARE out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been Monday all week.
It's easier to child-proof your gun than to bullet-proof your child.
It's lonely at the top, but te eat better.
It's Not How te Pick Your Nose, But Where te Put The Booger.
Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
It's not the size of the barca that matters; it's the motion in the ocean.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog!
It's time to pull over and let the air out of your brain.
I've been dieting for the past month, but all I Lost was 31 days!!
I've forgotten più than I've ever learned
I've dato up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
I've Lost my phone number - can I have yours?
I've lowered my expectations to the point where they've already been met.
I've upped my standards, now up yours!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Jerry's dead, Phish sucks, get a job.
Gesù Is Coming! Look Busy!
Gesù is coming... Look busy.
Gesù loves you, but everyone else still thinks you're an culo hole.
Gesù saves lives and them redeems them for valuable prizes.
Gesù Saves… He Passes It To Gretzky… He Shoots… He Scores!
unisciti the IRS (Be audit te can be)
Judge me all u want. Just keep the verdict to yourself!
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Just plead the Fifth -- o drink it -- either way.
Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.
Keep America clean...swallow your birra cans.
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause kids.
baciare me, i'm toxic
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laugh and the world laughs with te cry and the world laughs at you.
Laughter, cries and all that is wise...
Learn from your parent's mistakes use birth control!
Lets get along with me.
Life is 10% what te make it and 90% how te take it.
Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.
Life is a lesson you'll learn it when you're through.
Life is a terminal disease.
Life is just one of those things.
Life is like a straw it sucks.
Life is not a garden, so quit being a hoe!
Life is too complicated in the morning.
Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
Life Sucks. and it leaves some mean hickies
Life. Its just a cereal
Life's a beach, and then te drown.
Life's a bitch, and then te die.
Life's a garden, dig it.
Life's expensive; drive defensive.
Life's too short to dance with ugly men/women.
Life's way too short to stay on topic
Listen to the silence!!
Live as long as te like. It won't shorten how long you're dead.
Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
Look before te open your eyes.
Look out! Behind you!
Lord, please save me from your followers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Amore for all, Hatred for none
Amore is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!
Man made beer, God made pot te make the choice.
Maybe Gesù Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks You’re An Asshole
Mean people suck.
Men are idiots and i married their king.
Men are like outhouse's, always taken o full of shit!
Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
MEN. bigger. stronger. better.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for te they can't laugh either.
Mistakes are proof that te are trying.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
più people I meet, più I like my dog....
Most Americans have Faith... te can tell da the Way They Drive
Most people plan to serve God at 11:00 and die at 10:30!
Musicians Duet Better
My boss is like a diaper, full of shit and always on my ass!
My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
My child beat up your honor student!
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the risposte to the test.
My child was inmate of the mese at the County Jail.
My preferito color is chocolate.
My god can beat up your god
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your calcio Mom.
My IQ came back negative!
My karma ran over your dogma.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My other auto is a 9MM.
My other car is a piece of shit.
My other car sticker is funny.
My other ride is your mom
My other toy has tits.
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
My Reality Check Just Bounced
My son can kick your son's honor student butt.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... o something like that.
My wife detto "If te go hunting o fishing one più time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
My wife detto if I watch one più Yankees game she is leaving. God I'll miss her.
National Atheist's giorno April 1
Never cut what te can untie.
Never eat più than te can lift.
Never judge a girl da her bumper sticker.
Never put off till tomorrow what te can avoid all together.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No guanto no love.
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
No matter where te go; you're there.
No prohibiting allowed!
No Radio - Already Stolen!
No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn’t Work Anyway
No la minestra, zuppa for you..
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!
Non-Partisan. Non-Republican.
Not a RULES type of girl.
Not all who wander are lost.
Not Screaming And Yelling Like The Passengers In His Car
Nothing Is Foolproof To A Sufficiently-Talented Fool
Nothing is illegal until te get caught.
Nothing is impossible to the person that doesn't have to do it.
Now That te Are baciare My Bumper... Wanna Get Married?!?!?!
Nuke the Whales.
Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Of all the things I've Lost I miss my mind the most!
Oh look! just 2,852,677 più days til i start caring what te think.
Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
On The Other Hand, te Have Different Fingers
One più repo and I’ll be debt free!
Only in America can a Vietnam Vet live in a cardboard box on the strada, via and a draft dodger live in the White House.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when te haven't sent one out.
Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes
Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
Overpopulation... too much of a good thing.
Pardon My Driving. I’m Reloading
Park in rear
Pay good teachers good money
People before profits!
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two o more.
Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
Please! do not feed the ego!
Police line. DO NOT CROSS.
Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.
Practice sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza government. Use kingdoms.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Proud mother of a delinquent child!
Pull my finger.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Quiet brain! o I'll poke te with another Q-tip.
Radioactive Gatti have 18 half-lives.
Rap Is To Musica What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Real Men Amore Jesus!
Real women don't have hot flashes they have power surges.
Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can’t Handle Drugs.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
RECYCLE YOUR ANIMALS
Rehab is for quitters.
RELISH TODAY...KETCHEUP TOMORROW
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH.
Remember My Name – You’ll Be Screaming It Later
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Repetition is always better the secondo time.
S.A.S.R. - Speeders Against Ski Racks
S.C.A.R.Y. (Southern Citizens Advocating the Relocation of Yankees)
S.O.B.E.R. - Sick Of Banning Everyone's Rights
Santa’s Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses
Sarcasm helps keep te from telling people what te really think of them.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Save on gas, go fart in a jar.
Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set
Save Your Breath – You’ll Need It To Blow Up Your Date!
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Say say NO thank you.
Scixelsyd Etinu (backward)
Screw te guys, I'm going home!
Seen It All, Done It All, Can’t Remember Most Of It
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the più I miss it, the meaner I get!!
She’s Always Late. Her Ancestors Arrived On The June Flower
Sheesh!
Short Chicks rock!
Simplify
Sleep well Mum.
Slow thinkers keep right.
Smile and at nice.
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and te stand alone.
Smile. It’s The secondo Best Thing te Can Do With Your Lips.
Smile.........show off your teeth.
SNIPER BAR & GRILL: All te need is one shot!
so close to read it!
So many cats.... So little time.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!
Some have morals; some don't, and most simply ignore them.
Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them
Someday your prince will come. Mine got Lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!
Sorry, I don't data outside my species.
Sorry, te are not a winner
Spank Me!
Spare the fenders, save the trees, give the sober friend the keys.
Squirrel...it's what's for dinner.
sticker and watch the road!!!")
Stop global whining.
Stop Leggere My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE!!
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Stress is when te wake up screaming and te realize te haven't fallen asleep yet.
Study long study wrong.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Stupid should hurt!
Stupidity should be punished.
Stupify
Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.
Suicide is away of telling God, te can't fuoco me I quit!!!!!
Super Bowl is french for...sitting on your culo and getting fat.
Support a cause stop plate tectonics.
Support bacteria! It's the only culture some people have.
Support publik edekasion
Support yogurt, it's the only culture some people have.
Surgeon Generals Warning: Smoking is bad for you. te always known that, just like everybody else. So if te do it for 20 o 30 years, don't come crying to the courts if it makes te sick. How stupid are te anyways?
T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.
Take me drunk I' m home.
Talk only if te can improve on the silence.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either!
Ted Kennedy's car has killed più people than my gun.
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
Thank You...YOU MAY GO!!
Thanks for being a contestant.
That’s all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
The American Dream is a chicken in every pot. Why did we elect a chicken that smoked pot?
The beatings will continue until employee morale improves.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The early bird gets the worm, but the secondo topo, mouse gets the cheese.
The Earth Is Full - Go home
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The good thing about small cars is that te can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.
The horn blows does the driver!
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
The Lord made us all different... Democrats want to make us all the same!
The meek will Internet the world.
The più I learn, the less I understand.
The più people I meet, the più I like my dog.
The più te Complain, The Longer God Makes te Live.
The più te listen, the più te know.
The number of people staring at te is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
The princess is in.
The road to hell is paved with democrats!
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
The secondo Place Is The First Loser
The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette.
The sky is always bluer at the superiore, in alto of the windshield.
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
The squeaky wheel is often replaced.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
There are only two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead!!!!
There are only two things in life te can count on: Death and Taxes.
There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it..
There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
They told me I was gullible...then they took it out of the dictionary.
They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES!
THINK before te ACT.
This car is constipated: hasn't passed a thing all day!
This car is designed da computer, built da a robot, driven da a moron.
This car is protected da an anti-theft sticker!
This is not an abandoned car.
This is the rebel base.
This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't Lost one yet..
This vehicle insured da Smith and Wesson.
This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Those Who Live da The Sword Get Shot da Those Who Don’t
Those who live da the sword get shot da those who don't.
Time Circles: The Lord Creates The Universe Evolves The Lord
Time flies when te don't know what you're doing.
Time flies when te don't know what you're doing.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
To all te virgins; thanks for nothing!
To be loved, be lovable
To be old and wise te must first be young and stupid.
To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.
To te it's a six-pack; to me it's a support group.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
Too many freaks, not enough circus's!
Try it sober!
Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore.
Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY ASS!
Unlike online, in reality, te can’t hit the back button.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes.
visualize whirled peas
Vote BUSH/CHENEY
Want to be somebody? Don't drive after drinking.
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
WARNING: mental backup in progress.
Was today really necessary?
WATCH OUT! COMING THROUGH!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are having EVER so much fun!
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. te Will Be Assimilated.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. te WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We have enough youth. How about a fontana of "Smart"?
Welcome to California. Now go home!
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
Welcome To Shit Creek – Sorry, We’re Out Of Paddles
Well, isn't that special!
What happens if te get scared half to death twice?
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what its all about?
What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?
wHAT IS THIS? BIZARROLAND??
What part of link do te not understand?
WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO!
What would Xena Do?
What te don't do is always più important than what te do do.
What, are te stuck on stupid.
Whatever!
When all else fails, lower your standards.
When blondes have più fun, do they know it?
WHEN GOD MADE MAN, SHE WAS ONLY JOKING.
When I die bury me upside down so the world can baciare my ass.
When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'
When i want your opinion i'll beat it out of you.
When in danger o in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
When life is bad...keep your head up, that way te don't see all the shit you've stepped in.
When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
When te do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Where is this porn?
Where There’s A Will, I’m In The Way.
Where there's a will there's a BEER!
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
Which came first, the woman o the department store?
Who are these kids and why are they calling me MOM?
Who died and made te Darth Vader?.
Who is General Failure and why is he Leggere my hard disk?
who needs this crap.
Who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Who's Your Daddy?
Why am I so thirsty when I drank so much last night?
Why are girls that way?
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, te can be impossible?
Why be normal?
Why can't women learn to put the toilet sede, sedile back up?
Why did God give beauty queens one più brain cell than horses? So they wouldn't shit on stage.
Why do psychics have to ask te for your name?
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
Why do we believe everything we see in newspapers but domanda what the Bible says?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
WHY ME?
Wink, I'll do the rest!
Without pain and suffering te have no choice!
Women are born leaders, LOOK te are following one now!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a cagna in the valley.
YES this is my truck, NO I won't help te move!.
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road!
Yes, in fact...my father does own this road.
Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.
te ain't seen nothin' yet...
te Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
te are driving to close I can see your bald spot.
te ARE HERE!
te are only young once, but te can stay immature indefinitely.
te are right where te belong, behind me!
te can pick your nose and pick your friends, but te can't wipe your Friends on the couch.
te can't be late until te mostra up.
te get all this and my dads loaded.
te have been a naughty boy, go to my room!
te have the right to remain silent. Anything te say will be misquoted, then used against you.
te Have The Right To Remain Silent. Anything te Say Will Be Misquoted And Used Against You
te have to be really secure to be seen in this car.
te just lived your best moment, now GO live another!
te know your getting older when Happy ora is a nap.
te went on vacation and all i got was this stupid bumper sticker?
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
YOU! Out of the gene pool.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me
Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An Asshole
Your lucky color has faded.
Your such a Muggle!
Your village called, their idiot is missing.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
You're not drunk if te can lie on the floor without hanging on.
You're not the boss of me!
Is uranus a black hole?
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
home SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All te Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.
The fastest way to a fisherman's cuore is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck te out of your car
I break for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
Friends help te move; real Friends help te sposta the body.
Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's culo and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animali eat their young
We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
YOUR TURN SIGNAL IS STILL ON
IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE
U.S.M.C. UNCLE SAMS MISGUIDED CHILDREN
Eternity: Smoking o Non-Smoking?
I wasn't born a bitch; men like te made me that way.
I Amore to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do te want
They didn't let me out, they just gave me a giorno pass!
(Front Bumper) If te can read this, I didn't hit te hard enough.
...and i should care, why?
100,000 Sperm And te Were The Fastest?
186,000 Miles/Second: It’s Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The Law!
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
7 days with out Gesù makes one weak
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A church alive is worth the surprise!!
A giorno without sunshine is like, night.
A giorno Without Sunshine Is Like, te Know, Night
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
A topo, mouse Is An elefante Built da The Japanese
A nuclear war can ruin your whole giorno .
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Abandon the cerca for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity
Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
All generalizations are false.
All I want is less to do, più time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
All Men Are Idiots... And I Married Their King.
All my drinking buddies have a racing problem.
All stressed out and nobody to choke!
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always Remember: You’re Unique, Just Like Everyone Else.
AMERICA-Love It o Leave It!
Amnesia used to be my preferito word, but then I forgot it.
ANGER IS MERELY DEPRESSION WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM!
Another brilliant mind ruined da higher education.
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
Anything Free Is Worth What te Pay For It
Are te following Gesù this close?
As If
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Ask me about micro waving Gatti for fun and profit.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Ass, gas o grass, nobody rides for free.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy
Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk
Ax Me About Ebonics
Back the badge
Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?
BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!
Barbie AIN'T HERE!.
Be Human.
Be nice society already sucks.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be Nice To Your Kids; They’ll Pick Out Your Nursing Home.
Be the kind of friend you'd want.
Be the kind of person te always wanted your parents to be.
Be ye fishers of men. te catch them - He will clean them.
Beam me up Jesus.
Beauty is in the eye of the birra holder...
BEER, Helping people have sex since 1865.
Beer: It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.
Beer: making woman look better since 1965.
Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure te have enough to spare!
Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are two.
Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.
Bill Clinton 89% Fact Free
Bite Me!
Black holes are where God divided da zero.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Blondes Tease....Brunettes Please....
Blow your nose, your horn works fine.
Body da Nautilus; Brain da Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
BOMB SQUAD: If te see me running te better catch up!
BooYah!
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Boy bands. The spawn of Satan.
Boycott shampoo, demand real poo instead.
Boys Lie!
Bumper sticker in the anno 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS
But I Just Can’t Get My Head That Far Up My Ass
Buy a gun support the constitution.
Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.
Buy American!
Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?
CAN te HEAR ME NOW!!! ??
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Careful, I’m not wearing clean underwear!
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde
CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS.
CAUTION! I drive like te do!
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
CAUTION: This car will be left behind during rapture.
Change a life; make someone feel important.
Change is good...you go first!
Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine
Chemistry Professors Never Die, They Just Smell That Way!
Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.
Clean up America. Kill a redneck!
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Clones are people 2
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Conceive. Believe. Achieve.
Condoms are easier to change than diapers!
Confidence is the feeling te have before te understand the situation.
Confucious say "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Conserve toilet paper - use both sides.
Conserve water - doccia with a friend
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could te Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass?
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
D.A.M.M.- Drunks Against Mad Mothers
DANGER: I drive like te do!
DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
DARE to keep the CIA off drugs.
Death is God's way of telling te not to be such a wise guy.
Death is life's way of telling te you're fired.
Death is nature's way of telling te to slow down.
Death is the consequence of being alive.
Deep down, divers care.
Democrats=Beaureaucrats: STUPID
Despite The Cost Of Living, Have te Noticed How It Remains So Popular?
Despite the cost of living, have te noticed how it remains so popular?
DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!
Dewey,Skrewem, & Howe (attorneys at law)
Did te check if your horn works?
Did te just fart o did te always smell that way?
Diplomacy Is Saying “Nice Doggy” Until te Find A Rock
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
Disappointed? Too bad!
Divers get più tail.
Do I look like a freakin' People Person?
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for te are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.
Do not put a domanda mark where God put a period.
Do they ever shut up on your planet.
Do unto others before they do unto you.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.
Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?
D'oh!
Don’t Drink And Drive...You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink.
Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; te Won’t Get Out Alive
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
Don't believe everything te hear o anything te say.
Don't believe everything te think.
Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.
Don't delay, paint today
Don't Drink and Drive!
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Don't drive and derive. Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Don't f*** with my head and I won't think with my dick!
Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!
Don't judge a book da its movie.
Don't laugh it's paid for.
Don't laugh; your daughter may be in back.
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
Don't make me go medieval on you.
Don't miss heaven for the world.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
Don't rub the lamp unless you're ready for the genie.
Don't start with me te won't win!
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't trust women.
Don't wish for it...work for it.
Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.
DRIVE IT LIKE te ha rubato, stola IT!
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..
Drop Dead
Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.
Dyslexics Have più Fnu.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Dyslexics Untie!
E. coli Happens
Each giorno is a gift.
Eagles Don't Flock.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
Earth first... We will strip the other planets later.
Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Editing Is A Rewording Activity
Elvis has left the planet.
Elvis Is Dead And I’m Not Feeling Too Good Myself
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery
Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.
Entropy Isn’t What It Used To Be
Eschew Obfuscation
Eschew Obfuscation
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION. (means avoid confusion/overcomplication)
Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every silver lining has a cloud.
Every thing is on loan from the government until te can't pay your taxes.
Everybody looks Ribelle - The Brave holding a machine gun.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Everything i need to know i learned in prison
Everything is possible just not too probable.
Everything Is Somewhere.
Everytime te speak te make someone dumber for listening to you.
EXIT
F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm!
Faster than a speeding ticket.
Fat chicks make my car scrape!
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Fight Socialism...Vote Republican
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
Flies spread disease, keep yours closed!
FLORIDA: home of Electile Dysfunction
FLORIDA: If te don't like the way we vote then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: If te think we can't vote, wait till te see us drive.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, And Revote.
FLORIDA: We count più than te do.
FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!
FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT !!
Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear.
For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes!
For him to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Friends don't let Friends drive naked!!
Friends don't let Friends miss out on heaven.
Friends Help te Move. Real Friends Help te sposta Bodies.
Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!
Get over it!
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
GIMMIEABREAK!
Give blood and te too can get a free bumper sticker.
Give Me Ambiguity o Give Me Something Else
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go Braless! It will pull the wrinkles from your face.
Go On, I will See te At The successivo Light.
God Bless Our Troops.
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve.
God Must Amore Stupid People, He Made So Many
God must Amore stupid people...he made so many!
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
Got Brains?
Got Goth?
Graduate quickly, millions on welfare depend on you.
Graduate Soon! Millions On Welfare Depend On You
Gravity always gets me down.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Gravity- It’s not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man
Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional.
Gun control is a steady hand.
Gun control today, Total control tomorrow.
pistole don't kill people. Postal workers do.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Hang up and drive!
Hang up and drive!
HANG-UP & DRIVE
Happiness is Clinton's face on a latte carton.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
Have te cagna slapped an environmentalist today?
Have te ever had deja vu? Have te ever had deja vu??
Have te ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
Have te seen Elvis? 1-800-GET-A-LIFE
HE IS ABLE WHO THINKS HE IS ABLE!
HE WHO ANGERS YOU, CONQUERS YOU.
He who angers you, controls you!
He who farts in church sits on his own pew.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The successivo Exit
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
He’s Not Dead, He’s Electroencephalographically-Challenged
cuore Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh.
Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
HELP, I AM Lost AND CANNOT FIND MY BEER!
ciao dumb culo I bought my own car, not mommy and daddy!
ciao idiot- You're driving a car, not a phone booth
ciao man, te live in America now... speak Spanish!
High beams were made to piss people off!
Hogwarts Dropout
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Honk if I'm Jesus!
Honk if te are blond.
Honk if te hate noise pollution!
Honk if te haven't slept with Clinton!
Honk if te like peace and quiet.
Honk if te Amore boy bands - then drive into a tree.
HONK IF te Amore GORE (use the button on your steering wheel)
Honk If te Amore Peace And Quiet
Honk if te Amore peace and quiet.
Honk if te Amore Rush.
Honk If te Want To See My Finger
Honk If You've Never Seen An uzi Fired From A Car Window
Hope dies last!
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
House Guarded da Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Housework makes women ugly.
How about never? is never good for you?
How Can I Miss te if te Won't Go Away?
How can I miss te if te won't go away?
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
How may i ignore te today?
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
huked on foniks werkd fer me
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
I admire gay men, they leave più women for me!
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I am not speeding I am qualifying.
I am overjoyed with whelm!
I am represented da the Law Firm of Dewey, Chedum, and Howe.
I believe in getting in hot water; it keeps te clean.
I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.
I brake for no apparent reason.
I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
I brake for…wait…AAAH!…NO BRAKES!!!!!
I can go from zero to cagna in 2.2 seconds.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your giorno and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
i can resist everything except temptation.
I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.
I didn't fight my way to the superiore, in alto of the Cibo chain to be a vegetarian.
I Do Whatever My riso Krispies Tell Me To
I do work for food.
I Don’t Have To Be Dead To Donate My Organ
I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every minuto Of It
I don't decaf
I don't do mornings.
I don't do requests.
I DON'T DRINK IT DULLS THE DRUGS.
I don't drive fast I fly low.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
I don't have a license to kill, I have a learner's permit.
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
I don't repeat gossip.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minuto of it!
I drank what?
I Drive Like This To Piss te Off
I drive like this to piss te off!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minuti of my life.
I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushin’ My Luck
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
I Got A Gun For My Wife; Best Trade I Ever Made.
I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade.
I hate bumper stickers!
I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.
I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
I have BAD PMS and GOOD BRAKES.... te must be feeling very lucky today.
I have no desire for money. Its stuff that i want.
I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
I hear te Lost your cat? Check under my tire.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I just filled up my car with gasoline. Now it's worth $50.00
I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
I just got Lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I just Amore nonverbal communication!
I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.
I Know What You’re Thinking And te Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
I know...I know...pull over
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!!
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!! This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
I left the womb for this?
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
I like te but I wouldn't want to see te working with sub-atomic particles.
I Amore animali - they taste great!
I Amore animals. I eat them and wear their skins.
I Amore cats...they taste just like chicken.
I Amore my country but fear my government.
I Amore my job...shoot me now!
I Amore uranus.
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!.
I may be slow; but I'm ahead of you.
I may have PMS, but you're still a dick!!
I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.
I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes
I must hurry, for there they go and i am their leader.
I Need Someone Really Bad. Are te Really Bad?
I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.
I press charges
I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!
I put in contacts for this?
I see dumb people.
I should never have invented the electoral college. -Al Gore
i souport publik edekasion
I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
I swerve for cats.
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
I think your hard drive has a slipped disk.
I think, therefore I'm dangerous
I took a pain pill. Why are te still here?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I Took An IQ Test And The Results Were Negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...
I Used To Be Indecisive. Now I’m Not Sure
I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
I WANT te to stay far away from me
I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.
I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me
I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive but suicide is a crime!
I wish I lived in New York, so I could have Voted Against Hilary!
I Wish I Was Barbie. That cagna has EVERYTHING.
I wish I were a glow worm a glow worm is never glum, because how could te be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
I Wonder How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges
I wonder if te would drive well if that cell phone were up your ass.
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I’m insured da the mafia, te hit me and we'll hit you.
I’m Just Driving This Way To Piss te Off.
I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.
I’m Out Of letto And Dressed – What più Do te Want?
I'd Amore to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate.
I'd rather be fishing!
Idiots surround me!
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
If at first te do succeed, try not to look astonished.
If At First te Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
If at first te don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you.
If at first te don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
If Barbie is so popular, why do te have to buy her friends?
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animali out of meat?
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
If ignorance is bliss, te must be orgasmic.
If It Ain’t Broken... Fix It ‘Til It Is
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If it is a man made world, why can't we remake it?
If it isn't broken...fix it until it is!
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.
IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD
If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?
If life hands te a lemon, stuff your bra with it.
If life is just a game then I must have missed the kickoff.
If life's an idiot then te must the god.
If Amore is blind why is lingerie so popular?
If my car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
If something goes without saying - LET IT!
If the company's name is YELLOW, why are the trucks painted ORANGE?
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
If We All Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat.
If te are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
If te are Leggere this te are Leggere off a gay internet site...
If te can do the time, te can do the crime.
If te can read this bumper sticker te are driving too close.
If te can read this I can deploy your air bag!!!
If te can read this I have Lost my caravan.
If te can read this sign te must be a Florida Republican.
If te can read this the cagna fell off.
If te can read this te are too close..
If te can read this you're in range.
If te can read this, I am parked.
If te can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If te Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
If te can read this, roll me over.
If te can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!
If te can read this,you were hooked on phonics once...
If te can read this. thank a teacher.
If te can read this... I've Lost my trailer!
If te cannot convince them, confuse them.
If te can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
If te can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If te Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
If te can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
iF te CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TAKE A HIKE!
If te didn't get caught, did te really do it?
If te don't like my attitude, stop looking at my stickers!
If te don't like the news, go out and make some.
If te don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
If te Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
If te feel attacked da feminism, it's probably a counter attack.
If te get any closer I'll fart!
If te have something to say, raise your hand. and place it over your mouth.
If te smoke after s e x you're doing it too fast.
If te Think I’m A Bitch, Wait Until te Meet My Mother
If te think the car is dirty te should spend a night with the driver!
If te think the way to a man's cuore is through his stomach...your aiming too high.
If te think this week was a drag, wait till te see what happens successivo week!
If te understand something today, it must be obsolete.
If te write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!!
If your gonna be a turd then go lie out in the yard.
If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it!
If your stupid and te know it honk your horn.
If you're against logging, try wiping your culo with plastic.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
I'll not stop
Illiterate? Write For Free Help
I'm a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Keep honking I'm reloading.
I'm against ABORTION because I was once a fetus.
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.
I'm back da popolare demand.
I'm feeling uppity
I'm leaving my body to science fiction
I'm looking inoltrare, avanti to regretting this!
I'm not a psychiatrist; I'm just an expert at being confused.
I'm not as dumb as te look.
I'm not as think as te drunk I am.
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
I'm not littering.... I'm donating to the earth.
I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV.
Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.
I'm not your monkey
I'm objective; I object to everything.
I'm only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.
I'm only driving this way to piss te off.
I'm only here to ANNOY!!
I'm out of letto and dressed. What più do te want?
I'm serious; it was a joke.
I'm so hungry I am farting fresh air.
I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
I'm with the band.
I'm wondering if te have any horns with goofy songs?
Impeach President Clinton and her husband too.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
In theory, everything works.
Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
Insanity is hereditary; te get it from your kids!
Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe te should be concentrating on the road!
IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got.
It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
It Is As Bad As te Think, And They Are Out To Get You.
It takes a Viking to raze a village.
It takes più faith to believe that I came from a monkey than to believe that I came from God.
It took 40 years to make me look this good.
It’s been one of those days all week
It’s Lonely At The Top, But te Eat Better.
It's a Macintosh; it's got an excuse.
It's a wonderful life.... With me.
It's all a pigment of your hallucination.
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Its always too early to quit.
It's as BAD as te think, and they ARE out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been Monday all week.
It's easier to child-proof your gun than to bullet-proof your child.
It's lonely at the top, but te eat better.
It's Not How te Pick Your Nose, But Where te Put The Booger.
Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
It's not the size of the barca that matters; it's the motion in the ocean.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog!
It's time to pull over and let the air out of your brain.
I've been dieting for the past month, but all I Lost was 31 days!!
I've forgotten più than I've ever learned
I've dato up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
I've Lost my phone number - can I have yours?
I've lowered my expectations to the point where they've already been met.
I've upped my standards, now up yours!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Jerry's dead, Phish sucks, get a job.
Gesù Is Coming! Look Busy!
Gesù is coming... Look busy.
Gesù loves you, but everyone else still thinks you're an culo hole.
Gesù saves lives and them redeems them for valuable prizes.
Gesù Saves… He Passes It To Gretzky… He Shoots… He Scores!
unisciti the IRS (Be audit te can be)
Judge me all u want. Just keep the verdict to yourself!
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Just plead the Fifth -- o drink it -- either way.
Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.
Keep America clean...swallow your birra cans.
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause kids.
baciare me, i'm toxic
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laugh and the world laughs with te cry and the world laughs at you.
Laughter, cries and all that is wise...
Learn from your parent's mistakes use birth control!
Lets get along with me.
Life is 10% what te make it and 90% how te take it.
Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.
Life is a lesson you'll learn it when you're through.
Life is a terminal disease.
Life is just one of those things.
Life is like a straw it sucks.
Life is not a garden, so quit being a hoe!
Life is too complicated in the morning.
Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
Life Sucks. and it leaves some mean hickies
Life. Its just a cereal
Life's a beach, and then te drown.
Life's a bitch, and then te die.
Life's a garden, dig it.
Life's expensive; drive defensive.
Life's too short to dance with ugly men/women.
Life's way too short to stay on topic
Listen to the silence!!
Live as long as te like. It won't shorten how long you're dead.
Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
Look before te open your eyes.
Look out! Behind you!
Lord, please save me from your followers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Amore for all, Hatred for none
Amore is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!
Man made beer, God made pot te make the choice.
Maybe Gesù Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks You’re An Asshole
Mean people suck.
Men are idiots and i married their king.
Men are like outhouse's, always taken o full of shit!
Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
MEN. bigger. stronger. better.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for te they can't laugh either.
Mistakes are proof that te are trying.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
più people I meet, più I like my dog....
Most Americans have Faith... te can tell da the Way They Drive
Most people plan to serve God at 11:00 and die at 10:30!
Musicians Duet Better
My boss is like a diaper, full of shit and always on my ass!
My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
My child beat up your honor student!
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the risposte to the test.
My child was inmate of the mese at the County Jail.
My preferito color is chocolate.
My god can beat up your god
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your calcio Mom.
My IQ came back negative!
My karma ran over your dogma.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My other auto is a 9MM.
My other car is a piece of shit.
My other car sticker is funny.
My other ride is your mom
My other toy has tits.
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
My Reality Check Just Bounced
My son can kick your son's honor student butt.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... o something like that.
My wife detto "If te go hunting o fishing one più time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
My wife detto if I watch one più Yankees game she is leaving. God I'll miss her.
National Atheist's giorno April 1
Never cut what te can untie.
Never eat più than te can lift.
Never judge a girl da her bumper sticker.
Never put off till tomorrow what te can avoid all together.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No guanto no love.
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
No matter where te go; you're there.
No prohibiting allowed!
No Radio - Already Stolen!
No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn’t Work Anyway
No la minestra, zuppa for you..
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!
Non-Partisan. Non-Republican.
Not a RULES type of girl.
Not all who wander are lost.
Not Screaming And Yelling Like The Passengers In His Car
Nothing Is Foolproof To A Sufficiently-Talented Fool
Nothing is illegal until te get caught.
Nothing is impossible to the person that doesn't have to do it.
Now That te Are baciare My Bumper... Wanna Get Married?!?!?!
Nuke the Whales.
Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Of all the things I've Lost I miss my mind the most!
Oh look! just 2,852,677 più days til i start caring what te think.
Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
On The Other Hand, te Have Different Fingers
One più repo and I’ll be debt free!
Only in America can a Vietnam Vet live in a cardboard box on the strada, via and a draft dodger live in the White House.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when te haven't sent one out.
Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes
Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
Overpopulation... too much of a good thing.
Pardon My Driving. I’m Reloading
Park in rear
Pay good teachers good money
People before profits!
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two o more.
Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
Please! do not feed the ego!
Police line. DO NOT CROSS.
Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.
Practice sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza government. Use kingdoms.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Proud mother of a delinquent child!
Pull my finger.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Quiet brain! o I'll poke te with another Q-tip.
Radioactive Gatti have 18 half-lives.
Rap Is To Musica What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Real Men Amore Jesus!
Real women don't have hot flashes they have power surges.
Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can’t Handle Drugs.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
RECYCLE YOUR ANIMALS
Rehab is for quitters.
RELISH TODAY...KETCHEUP TOMORROW
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH.
Remember My Name – You’ll Be Screaming It Later
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Repetition is always better the secondo time.
S.A.S.R. - Speeders Against Ski Racks
S.C.A.R.Y. (Southern Citizens Advocating the Relocation of Yankees)
S.O.B.E.R. - Sick Of Banning Everyone's Rights
Santa’s Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses
Sarcasm helps keep te from telling people what te really think of them.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Save on gas, go fart in a jar.
Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set
Save Your Breath – You’ll Need It To Blow Up Your Date!
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Say say NO thank you.
Scixelsyd Etinu (backward)
Screw te guys, I'm going home!
Seen It All, Done It All, Can’t Remember Most Of It
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the più I miss it, the meaner I get!!
She’s Always Late. Her Ancestors Arrived On The June Flower
Sheesh!
Short Chicks rock!
Simplify
Sleep well Mum.
Slow thinkers keep right.
Smile and at nice.
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and te stand alone.
Smile. It’s The secondo Best Thing te Can Do With Your Lips.
Smile.........show off your teeth.
SNIPER BAR & GRILL: All te need is one shot!
so close to read it!
So many cats.... So little time.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!
Some have morals; some don't, and most simply ignore them.
Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them
Someday your prince will come. Mine got Lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!
Sorry, I don't data outside my species.
Sorry, te are not a winner
Spank Me!
Spare the fenders, save the trees, give the sober friend the keys.
Squirrel...it's what's for dinner.
sticker and watch the road!!!")
Stop global whining.
Stop Leggere My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE!!
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Stress is when te wake up screaming and te realize te haven't fallen asleep yet.
Study long study wrong.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Stupid should hurt!
Stupidity should be punished.
Stupify
Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.
Suicide is away of telling God, te can't fuoco me I quit!!!!!
Super Bowl is french for...sitting on your culo and getting fat.
Support a cause stop plate tectonics.
Support bacteria! It's the only culture some people have.
Support publik edekasion
Support yogurt, it's the only culture some people have.
Surgeon Generals Warning: Smoking is bad for you. te always known that, just like everybody else. So if te do it for 20 o 30 years, don't come crying to the courts if it makes te sick. How stupid are te anyways?
T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.
Take me drunk I' m home.
Talk only if te can improve on the silence.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either!
Ted Kennedy's car has killed più people than my gun.
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
Thank You...YOU MAY GO!!
Thanks for being a contestant.
That’s all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
The American Dream is a chicken in every pot. Why did we elect a chicken that smoked pot?
The beatings will continue until employee morale improves.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The early bird gets the worm, but the secondo topo, mouse gets the cheese.
The Earth Is Full - Go home
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The good thing about small cars is that te can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.
The horn blows does the driver!
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
The Lord made us all different... Democrats want to make us all the same!
The meek will Internet the world.
The più I learn, the less I understand.
The più people I meet, the più I like my dog.
The più te Complain, The Longer God Makes te Live.
The più te listen, the più te know.
The number of people staring at te is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
The princess is in.
The road to hell is paved with democrats!
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
The secondo Place Is The First Loser
The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette.
The sky is always bluer at the superiore, in alto of the windshield.
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
The squeaky wheel is often replaced.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
There are only two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead!!!!
There are only two things in life te can count on: Death and Taxes.
There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it..
There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
They told me I was gullible...then they took it out of the dictionary.
They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES!
THINK before te ACT.
This car is constipated: hasn't passed a thing all day!
This car is designed da computer, built da a robot, driven da a moron.
This car is protected da an anti-theft sticker!
This is not an abandoned car.
This is the rebel base.
This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't Lost one yet..
This vehicle insured da Smith and Wesson.
This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Those Who Live da The Sword Get Shot da Those Who Don’t
Those who live da the sword get shot da those who don't.
Time Circles: The Lord Creates The Universe Evolves The Lord
Time flies when te don't know what you're doing.
Time flies when te don't know what you're doing.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
To all te virgins; thanks for nothing!
To be loved, be lovable
To be old and wise te must first be young and stupid.
To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.
To te it's a six-pack; to me it's a support group.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
Too many freaks, not enough circus's!
Try it sober!
Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore.
Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY ASS!
Unlike online, in reality, te can’t hit the back button.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes.
visualize whirled peas
Vote BUSH/CHENEY
Want to be somebody? Don't drive after drinking.
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
WARNING: mental backup in progress.
Was today really necessary?
WATCH OUT! COMING THROUGH!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are having EVER so much fun!
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. te Will Be Assimilated.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. te WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We have enough youth. How about a fontana of "Smart"?
Welcome to California. Now go home!
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
Welcome To Shit Creek – Sorry, We’re Out Of Paddles
Well, isn't that special!
What happens if te get scared half to death twice?
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what its all about?
What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?
wHAT IS THIS? BIZARROLAND??
What part of link do te not understand?
WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO!
What would Xena Do?
What te don't do is always più important than what te do do.
What, are te stuck on stupid.
Whatever!
When all else fails, lower your standards.
When blondes have più fun, do they know it?
WHEN GOD MADE MAN, SHE WAS ONLY JOKING.
When I die bury me upside down so the world can baciare my ass.
When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'
When i want your opinion i'll beat it out of you.
When in danger o in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
When life is bad...keep your head up, that way te don't see all the shit you've stepped in.
When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
When te do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Where is this porn?
Where There’s A Will, I’m In The Way.
Where there's a will there's a BEER!
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
Which came first, the woman o the department store?
Who are these kids and why are they calling me MOM?
Who died and made te Darth Vader?.
Who is General Failure and why is he Leggere my hard disk?
who needs this crap.
Who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Who's Your Daddy?
Why am I so thirsty when I drank so much last night?
Why are girls that way?
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, te can be impossible?
Why be normal?
Why can't women learn to put the toilet sede, sedile back up?
Why did God give beauty queens one più brain cell than horses? So they wouldn't shit on stage.
Why do psychics have to ask te for your name?
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
Why do we believe everything we see in newspapers but domanda what the Bible says?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
WHY ME?
Wink, I'll do the rest!
Without pain and suffering te have no choice!
Women are born leaders, LOOK te are following one now!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a cagna in the valley.
YES this is my truck, NO I won't help te move!.
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road!
Yes, in fact...my father does own this road.
Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.
te ain't seen nothin' yet...
te Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
te are driving to close I can see your bald spot.
te ARE HERE!
te are only young once, but te can stay immature indefinitely.
te are right where te belong, behind me!
te can pick your nose and pick your friends, but te can't wipe your Friends on the couch.
te can't be late until te mostra up.
te get all this and my dads loaded.
te have been a naughty boy, go to my room!
te have the right to remain silent. Anything te say will be misquoted, then used against you.
te Have The Right To Remain Silent. Anything te Say Will Be Misquoted And Used Against You
te have to be really secure to be seen in this car.
te just lived your best moment, now GO live another!
te know your getting older when Happy ora is a nap.
te went on vacation and all i got was this stupid bumper sticker?
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
YOU! Out of the gene pool.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me
Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An Asshole
Your lucky color has faded.
Your such a Muggle!
Your village called, their idiot is missing.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
You're not drunk if te can lie on the floor without hanging on.
You're not the boss of me!
Is uranus a black hole?
It was the anno 2009, a young couple of nobodies arrived on the scene and one of those nobodies was a man da the name of Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino. I knew when I first saw him that I WASN'T gonna like him and sure enough I didn't. He had a bad reputation from the moment they showed him and it just kept getting worse. Not only that but he's a selfish, self-centered, ego driven guy that cares to much about his abs then he does people. When he signed up for Dancing with the stars It made me hate him even più because he cared too much about his mostra to even get in a giorno of training done. To add even più fuel to the fuoco he SHOULD of been sent home first but u people saved him for basically no reason whatsoever.