Dearest The Office,
Until the writers are paid, I will feel an emptiness in my cuore every Thursday. te are my preferito mostra and have been for a number of years. I want te to know that this letter is NOT saying goodbye. I also want te to know that I do realize how insane it is to write a letter to a Televisione mostra and its characters. However, I am home sick and bored out of my mind, so here goes...
Michael Gary Scott: te goofy idiot. You're a loveable dumbass. te have very little class at all, as we have observed through your Hooters obsession ("I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.") your inexplicable attacks towards Toby ("I hate so much about the things that te choose to be.") and your complessivamente, generale uncouth-ness in general. I think te and Jan make a great couple in the most messed-up way possible. If te break up with her, please let it be because of something besides the fact that she doesn't like her implants. Until the strike ends, I will make sure your memory lives on forever da thinking and/or saying "That's what she said," whenever the opportunity arises.
Dwight Kurt "Danger" Schrute: te are so funny when te are being serious. te are one of the most devoted people I know. I honestly hope that te fulfill your life-long dream of dying in your scrivania, reception chair. I am undecided about how to feel about your clinginess to Michael. Sometimes it's rather annyoing, and sometimes it is sweet and/or hilarious. te and Angela are a great couple. Please try to win her back without hurting Andy, as I think te two have the potential to be great friends. Your concussion-induced niceness will forever live on in my mind, as well as the hilarious things te detto when being driven to the hospital ("You can't fuoco me, I don't work in this van!"). I will always remember Mr. A. coltello and your role as The Overkill Killer. To preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will find one person and be completely devoted to them for the rest of my life, no matter what, even if they call in sick when they're really just going to magic camp.
Jim Halpert: te are the most loveable person I know, which makes it extra sad that te are a fictional character. I have grown to accept the fact that te will forever Amore Pam Beesly, and I even celebrate it. Your camera looks and clever quips will forever steal my cuore like poker chips. Your undying classiness towards ridiculous people such as Michael Scott will always feed my respect for you. Your awesome pranks towards Dwight will ALWAYS make me laugh, though I believe your best prank was towards Andy. Jim, have te ever considered the fact that perhaps te are in the ceiling? I will preserve your memory until the strike ends da being as nice as possible towards all the asses I know.
Pamela Beesly: te are an amazing person. te manage to deal with people such as Michael Scott while keeping your sense of humor. te were very strong during Season 3, when Jim and Karen were together. During your speech at spiaggia Day, my cuore swelled with pride. Though I wanted to kill te for getting back together with Roy, I appreciated the fact that it made te want to be più honest with everybody, because te used to be kind of a doormat. Continue to try and keep Angela in her place, and follow your dreams. te will be a great artist someday, and te won the cuore of Jim Halpert. Nice. You've made some pretty big mistakes along the way (Casino Night) but now that te and Jim are together and pulling pranks again, I know that everything will be okay. However, breaking up with Jim would cause me to dislike te for a loooong time, unless it was for a REALLY, REALLY good reason. I will preserve your memory until the strike ends da being as honest as possible with people who are not crazy and will not try to destroy bars when I tell them the cold, hard truth.
Angela Martin: te are a warrior, no matter how bitchy te may be towards Phyllis. te find a need to fight for your religious beliefs, your cats, and your man. Though I think it was rather foolish of te to start dating Andy, I understand your hurt over Dwight's mercy-killing of Sprinkles. I hope Garbage is doing okay. I am anxious to know what te named him, even though I Amore the name Garbage. In order to preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will judge as many people as possible.
Jan Levinson (No Gould): te are obviously a very messed up person. That's the only way te could possibly put up with a guy like Michael Scott. Though I am upset for te that te Lost your corporate position to Ryan (ew.), I enjoy the new, lazy, poor version of your character. Plus I loves those sweats and sunglasses te wore in Money. In order to preserve your memory, I will attempt to be both professional and completely insane at the same time.
Andy Bernard, Kevin Malone, Meridith Palmer, Oscar Martinez, Creed Bratton, Phyliss Vance, Stanley Hudson, Kelly Kapoor and Toby Flenderson: Most of te are completely insane. Those sort-of-normal ones, I wish te happiness as te deal with the craziness that is the Scranton branch. te are all hilarious and I Amore te dearly. I have no idea how i will preserve the memories of all of you. I am just one person.
Roy Anderson & Karen Phillipelli: I don't care for either of you. At all. te stopped Jim and Pam from being together. Though sometimes te are good people, te both have those qualities that make me hate you.
Roy: te were just a horrible person overall, especially towards Pam. She was a great person and te took her for granted. Also, te tried to beat the crap out of Jim. And I will never forgive te for either of those things.
Karen: I know te have a good sense of humor and very pretty good with Jim, but te called Pam a cagna and te played the "Needy Girlfriend" part a couple of times. Plus, te told Jim to sposta to New York and forget Pam. And for that, I will never forgive you. However, I did like te in The Initiation and Grief Counseling. But that's it.
And no, I did not forget Ryan. I decided not to feed his ego da Scrivere him a letter.
The Office, I will always Amore you. I honestly hope the strike ends very soon so I can continue laughing my culo off every Thursday.
Sincerely,
jamfan4
