WARNING This articolo might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a fan of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling te this because you'll read and commento anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, okay let me get this right, te think that someone stalking you, controlling you, dominating you, watching te sleep, being ridiculously possessive, threatening you, and deciding who te hang out with is romantic? What a smart person... no really... you're smarter than Einstein himself, NOT! Can te look at Elena for an example? If her boyfriend was Edward she would slap him in the face, hit him on the head and kick him on the dick. Unlike te here. Now I know what you'll say 'But she... te know... climbed... in the bed.... with... that freak... Damon... and... kissed him' First, please learn to say one sentence like all people do. Second, she felt something for Damon from months before. Now she discovered that it was worth it, and plus he was dying for God's sake!! What do te expect her to do? Curl up in the fetal position, go numb for months and jump off a cliff like te did?
Edward, oh my Gosh te are so hot!! Oh my Gosh I man it!! Oh my Gosh why are te so hot?! Oh my Gosh can I have a piece of your hotness?! Oh my Gosh I can't handle this!! Oh my Gosh I think I'm fainting!! Oh my Gosh!! Oh my gosh!! OH MY GOSH!!! Get a life will ya? First, sparkling o not, your body is disgusting. Do me a favor and warn me when te take your camicia off so I can go watch Stefan o Damon take THEIR shirts off. Second, te are the biggest loser in the history of all losers, no offense. I mean seriously who the hell watches their girlfriend get kissed da the idiot werewolf and is okay with that? And what kind of a vampire drinks animal blood? Yeah I know Stefan used to drink animal blood, but he doesn't anymore!! Because REAL Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. drink human blood, not animal blood te idiot!
Jacob, okay we get it, te have abs, you've got strength, te have muscles, te have hotness blah blah blah. But guess what te do not have? te don't have any brains! te have body but te don't have brains... like none at all. Who the hell falls in Amore with a five-minute-year-old baby of the woman that te love??! I'd really like to see Damon doing that to Elena. But that will never happen because unlike you, he has got hotness, awesomeness, strength, passion and brains. And this is why he's hot and girls like him for reasons other than his body and looks. At least he has these sarcastic laugh, these space-shifting moves, this incredibly sexy smirk. Unlike te little Mister I'm-so-cool-I-fall-in-love-with-Bella-and-her-new-born-baby! I don't understand how can te fall in Amore with someone like Bella in the first place. And calling her daughter Nessie? Really? NESSIE?!?!
Carlisle, stop trying to look like the handsome and smart father of the series because you're not. John died for his daughter, te barley agreed to fight for your son, Edward. So smart and Ribelle - The Brave Carlisle, so smart an brave.
Esme, same for you. I mean look at Isobel and what she did for Elena, Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie, Jeremy, Alaric and everyone else, and then look at you. What a parody of a mother your are, what a parody of a mother.
James, te really think te cat turn out better than Klaus o Elijah? At least they talk normally and not trying to sound posher than the Queen of England herself! At least they look better than you! At least they know what they're doing! At least they don't go sniffing everywhere like Cani to try and find something! And te call yourself a villain...
Victoria, so te want to get revenge on James, we get that. Then te form some kind of a vampire army turning about eighty people into Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. for no reason but to get your own revenge?? Let me call Katherine and tell her to teach te how to get real revenge, how to be really attractive, how to really mostra your powers, and how to be really bad-ass. But I'm afraid she'll kill te when she holds your hand because that's what real Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. do... oh well...
Renesmee, all I think is that I should kill Edward and Bella, marry Tyler and Caroline, let them adopt te and change your name. And live with te like family. Seriously who do te think I am? A werewolf with no brains like Jacob? I will never get anyone like te close to Tyler o Caroline o anyone from the real Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. o werewolves. I do feel sorry for te for having such awful parents and such an awful name but I cannot compare te to vampires. te know why? Because you're not real, they are. Comparing te two is like comparing night and day.
Rosalie, When te first turned into a vampire te liked it didn't you? Well let me tell te that Jenna cried her eyes out before she got killed da Klaus AGAIN. That's how people react when they realize they're a monster, they get SAD unless they want this whole thing, they do not go all happy and kill whoever they hated. But then again, te detto te envy Bella for being human. Make up your mind woman! It's either te want it o te do not want it, it can't be freaking both!
Jasper, If te really think that you're as cool and awesome as Jeremy you're not. At least he has style, brains and love. Unlike you. Do te seriously care for anyone but Alice? Nope I don't think so. te spent about fifty years with the same clan in towns where there are a bunch of people and te still don't know how to control your thirst? o is it this Bella that has such a strong blood smell again? Oh how I wish te actually killed her. But yet again, that will prove your selfishness. te do not care who te eat as long as te do, and I'm not defending Bella here. te run away with your precious Alice. te return in the middle of the fight and barley even fight. Jeremy will always fight for his family, Friends and the girl he loves and who really deserves to be loved, Bonnie. He will always defend them and stand da them, unlike you.
Emmett, te think you're awesome as well? To the point of being as awesome as Matt? Okay, I admit I do not like Matt that much but compared to te he's the awesomest person on earth. At least he talks più than two sentences a day. At least he actually loved Caroline and admitted that he made a mistake da snitching on her. I think the only reason te loved and the only reason te will ever Amore Rosalie is for her looks and only her looks. Because I have never seen any passion between te two, te maybe kissed once but that's it.
Alice, don't even try to be the head of the parties, the little hyper, talkative and cute girl because it's not working out with you. Caroline was, is and will always be awesome-er, cuter, prettier, and happier than te are. At least she has taste in men. Like Tyler. Your taste is awful. te didn't find anyone in this whole world but Jasper Hale to fit you? JASPER FREAKING HALE?!?!
Aro, te are also a parody of a vampire. Look at Klaus and Elijah and look at you. Pitiful, weak, lazy, shining fly. That's who te are. te make everyone do everything for you, te never do anything da yourself because you're the leader and don't want to get your hands dirty right? How stupid, how retarded?
Jane, no matter how much illusional pain your power brings to a person, te will never be as strong as Bonnie. She knows how to control her powers, unlike te who throws the whole thing unthinkingly and anyone, not mentioning that you're over a hundred years old. Bonnie is a real character, te are just a part of the whole Aro clan who is using te as his puppets to do all the dirty work. But I guess you're too blind to see that.
Regards, a Vampire Diaries fan
If te have any più additions, feel free to tell me in the commenti and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, okay let me get this right, te think that someone stalking you, controlling you, dominating you, watching te sleep, being ridiculously possessive, threatening you, and deciding who te hang out with is romantic? What a smart person... no really... you're smarter than Einstein himself, NOT! Can te look at Elena for an example? If her boyfriend was Edward she would slap him in the face, hit him on the head and kick him on the dick. Unlike te here. Now I know what you'll say 'But she... te know... climbed... in the bed.... with... that freak... Damon... and... kissed him' First, please learn to say one sentence like all people do. Second, she felt something for Damon from months before. Now she discovered that it was worth it, and plus he was dying for God's sake!! What do te expect her to do? Curl up in the fetal position, go numb for months and jump off a cliff like te did?
Edward, oh my Gosh te are so hot!! Oh my Gosh I man it!! Oh my Gosh why are te so hot?! Oh my Gosh can I have a piece of your hotness?! Oh my Gosh I can't handle this!! Oh my Gosh I think I'm fainting!! Oh my Gosh!! Oh my gosh!! OH MY GOSH!!! Get a life will ya? First, sparkling o not, your body is disgusting. Do me a favor and warn me when te take your camicia off so I can go watch Stefan o Damon take THEIR shirts off. Second, te are the biggest loser in the history of all losers, no offense. I mean seriously who the hell watches their girlfriend get kissed da the idiot werewolf and is okay with that? And what kind of a vampire drinks animal blood? Yeah I know Stefan used to drink animal blood, but he doesn't anymore!! Because REAL Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. drink human blood, not animal blood te idiot!
Jacob, okay we get it, te have abs, you've got strength, te have muscles, te have hotness blah blah blah. But guess what te do not have? te don't have any brains! te have body but te don't have brains... like none at all. Who the hell falls in Amore with a five-minute-year-old baby of the woman that te love??! I'd really like to see Damon doing that to Elena. But that will never happen because unlike you, he has got hotness, awesomeness, strength, passion and brains. And this is why he's hot and girls like him for reasons other than his body and looks. At least he has these sarcastic laugh, these space-shifting moves, this incredibly sexy smirk. Unlike te little Mister I'm-so-cool-I-fall-in-love-with-Bella-and-her-new-born-baby! I don't understand how can te fall in Amore with someone like Bella in the first place. And calling her daughter Nessie? Really? NESSIE?!?!
Carlisle, stop trying to look like the handsome and smart father of the series because you're not. John died for his daughter, te barley agreed to fight for your son, Edward. So smart and Ribelle - The Brave Carlisle, so smart an brave.
Esme, same for you. I mean look at Isobel and what she did for Elena, Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie, Jeremy, Alaric and everyone else, and then look at you. What a parody of a mother your are, what a parody of a mother.
James, te really think te cat turn out better than Klaus o Elijah? At least they talk normally and not trying to sound posher than the Queen of England herself! At least they look better than you! At least they know what they're doing! At least they don't go sniffing everywhere like Cani to try and find something! And te call yourself a villain...
Victoria, so te want to get revenge on James, we get that. Then te form some kind of a vampire army turning about eighty people into Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. for no reason but to get your own revenge?? Let me call Katherine and tell her to teach te how to get real revenge, how to be really attractive, how to really mostra your powers, and how to be really bad-ass. But I'm afraid she'll kill te when she holds your hand because that's what real Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. do... oh well...
Renesmee, all I think is that I should kill Edward and Bella, marry Tyler and Caroline, let them adopt te and change your name. And live with te like family. Seriously who do te think I am? A werewolf with no brains like Jacob? I will never get anyone like te close to Tyler o Caroline o anyone from the real Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. o werewolves. I do feel sorry for te for having such awful parents and such an awful name but I cannot compare te to vampires. te know why? Because you're not real, they are. Comparing te two is like comparing night and day.
Rosalie, When te first turned into a vampire te liked it didn't you? Well let me tell te that Jenna cried her eyes out before she got killed da Klaus AGAIN. That's how people react when they realize they're a monster, they get SAD unless they want this whole thing, they do not go all happy and kill whoever they hated. But then again, te detto te envy Bella for being human. Make up your mind woman! It's either te want it o te do not want it, it can't be freaking both!
Jasper, If te really think that you're as cool and awesome as Jeremy you're not. At least he has style, brains and love. Unlike you. Do te seriously care for anyone but Alice? Nope I don't think so. te spent about fifty years with the same clan in towns where there are a bunch of people and te still don't know how to control your thirst? o is it this Bella that has such a strong blood smell again? Oh how I wish te actually killed her. But yet again, that will prove your selfishness. te do not care who te eat as long as te do, and I'm not defending Bella here. te run away with your precious Alice. te return in the middle of the fight and barley even fight. Jeremy will always fight for his family, Friends and the girl he loves and who really deserves to be loved, Bonnie. He will always defend them and stand da them, unlike you.
Emmett, te think you're awesome as well? To the point of being as awesome as Matt? Okay, I admit I do not like Matt that much but compared to te he's the awesomest person on earth. At least he talks più than two sentences a day. At least he actually loved Caroline and admitted that he made a mistake da snitching on her. I think the only reason te loved and the only reason te will ever Amore Rosalie is for her looks and only her looks. Because I have never seen any passion between te two, te maybe kissed once but that's it.
Alice, don't even try to be the head of the parties, the little hyper, talkative and cute girl because it's not working out with you. Caroline was, is and will always be awesome-er, cuter, prettier, and happier than te are. At least she has taste in men. Like Tyler. Your taste is awful. te didn't find anyone in this whole world but Jasper Hale to fit you? JASPER FREAKING HALE?!?!
Aro, te are also a parody of a vampire. Look at Klaus and Elijah and look at you. Pitiful, weak, lazy, shining fly. That's who te are. te make everyone do everything for you, te never do anything da yourself because you're the leader and don't want to get your hands dirty right? How stupid, how retarded?
Jane, no matter how much illusional pain your power brings to a person, te will never be as strong as Bonnie. She knows how to control her powers, unlike te who throws the whole thing unthinkingly and anyone, not mentioning that you're over a hundred years old. Bonnie is a real character, te are just a part of the whole Aro clan who is using te as his puppets to do all the dirty work. But I guess you're too blind to see that.
Regards, a Vampire Diaries fan
If te have any più additions, feel free to tell me in the commenti and I'll add them to the letter.
Dynamite da Taio Cruise, Tonight da Enrique Iglesias, te and I da Lady Gaga, Give Me Everything Tonight da Pitbull an Ne-Yo, Till The World Ends da Britney Spears, Peacock da Katy Perry, Don't Stop The Party da The Black Eyed Peas, Disturbia da Rihanna, What The Hell da Avril Lavigne, Look At Me Now da Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and some other guy, spazio Bound da Eminem
Yeah my teachers go crazy and this articolo thing wont work if I don't type what I'm typing right now, I have no idea why so yeah.
Yeah my teachers go crazy and this articolo thing wont work if I don't type what I'm typing right now, I have no idea why so yeah.
