random Article: Bill Gates Goes to Hell

2

posted by x-menobsessed26

Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up da St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send te to Heaven o Hell. After all, te enormously helped society da putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet te also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let te decide where te want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let te visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," detto Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy spiaggia with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"

"Fine," detto St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angeli drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as te desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured da demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???

"That was a demo," replied St. Peter

deathding and r-pattz like this

2

Our Damage is done: Ch 1 New student Ikito Shimnan

posted by canal

The morning was calm as Belle looked out over our beautiful blue lake that seemed to stretch on forever. "Belle, you're going to be late for school" my mother called from downstairs. "Oh, crap" Belle detto grabbing my bag and running downstairs and out the door. In terms she was already late, she had to run a mile to school, she had to be at school da 8:00 and it was already 7:54. "Belle" her friend Madison yelled from across the road. "Hey Maddie" Belle waved to her. "You late too?" she asked running over to her. "Yeah, i can't help but thing something is going to go wrong" Belle detto looking...

2

Talking about a bad relationship...

posted by FlufflyHands

te now when we broke up I was like: "I WANT U BACK." Then I realized our relationship was like a CIRCUS. te GIVE Amore A BAD NAME baby, just saying. Now whenever I see te I just put on my POKER FACE. ONE TIME te came to me like: "ONE più NIGHT...?" And I was like: "WHAT I'VE DONE For te I regret" than running away I scream back at him: "I hope te DIE YOUNG!" Yeah well we didn't talk for awhile. te attempt to get me back again and I was like: "dude, WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER." Then I just walked away, awkward moment when. I see te around town with your stupid friends,...

3

Know the true story of my life...

posted by ZacharyWhite

When I was 6 years old...

My grandmother and I don't get along very well. One time, I was gonna pet my dog Lassie, I didn't know that she was guarding a bone, so she gave me a very loud bark. My grandmother heard the bark and she thought that I was hurting Lassie. So , She grabs a piece of a long metal and she started to hit me at the feet,hands,back,arms and legs. I was almost full of bruises then she detto that if I told my parents about it, she would do it again.
Night time...
My mom saw my bruises in my legs and arms, she asked me what happened to me, I detto I just accidentally scratched myself......

3

5 Signs of Deception

posted by randomgirl3000

How te can tell if someone is lying:

1) Look the person straight in the eyes

•As in poker, your eyes foca, guarnizione the deal. It shows vulnerability. If looking at the eyes for a while and the person looks away, te know he/ she is lying.
2) Eyes are situated to the right

•Demonstrates that the person is “creating” an event to cover up what he/she has done. The person is thinking on the spot so it is a good time to counter attack the lie with a kick!
3) Changing the topic right away

•If the person is trying to drag the conversation o keeps diverting the topic towards something totally different,...

1

Is Life Worth Living?

posted by Kat_Penguin

This is just a poem about what has happened to me throughout my life up to this very moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was young, I lived in a lifeless home.
A gloomy haze was my world.
"Sunshine dosen't exist here" is what my sister would say,
When I asked "Sissy, when will the clouds go away?"
Locking myself in my room.
Desperate to escape the misery.
Drawing creatures that I called 'Friends'.
Then came that awful night.
When a stranger took my tiny brother's life.
Refusing to speak to anyone now,
My eyes filled with tears, my cuore felt dead.

'I'm finally in sixth grade!'...

1

the hunger games, htf style chapter 2

posted by akatsuki_lover9

Lifty and Shifty

Chapter 2
it was the giorno flippy had to go to the hunger games. He was in his hummer driving to the capital. It was a long way away but he was going to make it there in time. When he got there he was impressed. This was obviously a rich city. Tall buildings, fancy clothing, bright colori everywhere. “All this fancy stuff for a competition?” he thought as he parked in a spot at the building he was told to go to. He walked inside into a room where he saw lots of other people going to. When he got there he was shocked, but not disappointed. Lots of other people were standing in a circle. He...

1

age of the dragons, chapter 2

posted by akatsuki_lover9

Chapter 2

Dawn light was streaming into the cave. Flamingleap had just woken up to watch the sun rise. He sniffed the air hoping for it to be warm. Instead ice crystals stung his nostrils. He sighed. The tribe had been waiting for weeks for any sign of a thaw. Instead it seemed to get colder every day. Flamingleap heard the camp start to stir and he went out into the clearing of the cave. Thunderbolt, a male dragon with multiple shades of yellow, was picking Draghi to hunt. “icyclaw.” thunderbolt flicked his tail towards a pure white male dragon. “you hunt near the edges of the mountains.”...

4

FOR GIRLS EYES ONLY!!!!!!!!!

posted by cookie-do

GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So te have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! ciao girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did te know baciare is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken la minestra, zuppa actually makes te feel better. 94% of boys would Amore it if te sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your superiore, in alto lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult te when they like you! 89% of guys want te to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. Cioccolato will make te feel better! Most...

2

Stange Sisters Forever! Part 2!

posted by Draculaura10

CHAPTER TWO: The Secret

Classes up until lunch went da in a blur except for finding out that Eve, Emmah, and Mellissa all had the same schedule. The three girls walked over to an empty tavolo and sat down. "So, te guys, what do te think Ms.Winters wants us to come to her for? te don't think it's one of her discipline lectures, do you? I sure hope not. One time I heard someone was in there for an hour!" Emmah said.

"I honestly don't know. ciao Eve, where'd te get that bracelet? It looks so cute. It would look cuter in purple though." Mellissa said. Both Eve and Emmah had a confused look on...

3

Apparently i was mocking the mockers.

posted by XxKeithHarkinxX

jnrm:
dude!
whats with the icon!
8:56pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
John Stamso
Stamos*
8:56pmjnrm:
who?
8:56pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Uncle Jesse
8:56pmjnrm:
what?
8:56pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
*facekeithface*
9:07pmjnrm:
who is that!
9:07pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Google
it
9:07pmjnrm:
fine.... is he a pornstar...
9:08pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Nien
9:08pmjnrm:
are te sure?
9:08pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Yesh,
9:08pmjnrm:
..... full house?
9:09pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
yush
9:09pmjnrm:
why do te like him
???
9:09pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
he's sexi
9:09pmjnrm:
eh
9:10pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
exact way i'm with phillip phillips
9:10pmjnrm:
you wanna know whos sexy...... link
9:10pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
*shiveers*...

3

The first data

posted by penguin098

Congratulations. You’ve worked up the nerve to ask the girl out and she detto yes. You’ve convinced her you’re worth a shot. It is the night of your first data and you’re terrified of messing up. You’re not sure how to impress the girl. Well, thankfully you’ve found this guide, written da me, a girl.

Step one: Before
•Clean up before hand, no one wants a guy with greasy hair and an unappealing smell
•Don’t put on too much cologne. A little bit is fine but a lot quickly becomes repulsive. A tip: any amount of “Ax” is too much
•Come up with some ideas for conversations to smooth...

3

Life Flashes before My Eyes.Chapter 1

posted by adaug

I just turned 20.My Fiance and me were getting married,til IT happened.
4:07 P.M. I walked down the aisle.My sister holding the end of my dress.My niece spread red fiore petals all over the floor.
Every now and then,I'd worry.What if he wasn't the one?What if this was a mistake?But I remembered what momma told me;
"No matter what he does,remember to Amore your enemies."So the farfalle flew away from my stomach.
When he turned his head.A small,tiny tear sprung from his eye.
Finally when the preacher said;"Do you,Nanette,take Johnathan to be your husband?"I couldn't quite hear him."I do."I said.A...

3

Dangerous and Adventurous (Chapter 6)

posted by adaug

Sarah couldn't make a noise.Ariana ran to the little girl.Sarah got a grip on the sticks.When she stopped the little girl.Sarah stabbed Ariana in the back."OOOOWWWW!!WHAT THE HECK te LITTLE IDIOT!"She yelled.She dropped to her knees.I picked up the little girl,which was crying."It's okay.Let's get te to your mommy."Her mom was crying too."Here's your daughter."Sarah said."THANK YOU!THANK YOU!"The mom detto and cheered.
Sarah walked back.
"SARAH!Oh my gosh!"Alicia detto and she hugged her.
"That was amazing."Maybelle said.
"Guys!Focus!The stone."Sarah said.They got out and ran."Oh no!The Rights!That's...

2

Are te Afraid Of This?(Chapter 3)

posted by adaug

After that...
S:Lets watch a scary movie!!!
Everyone:YEAH!
S:(Flips channels)Here...
95 minuti later
C:My...God.(Pants)
P:(Falls over)
N:HELP ME JESUS!!
S:You guys never seen this one?I've seen it a hundred times!
C:My FLIPPING EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then a sound came
???:(Foot steps)
S:ETHAN!!!SHUT UP!
E:What?
C:That wasn't you?
E:That wasn't me what?
Everyone:HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!
E:WHAT!!!????
S:That sound!
E:I didn't hear anything.
N:Maybe it was just our imagination
Everyone:Yeah...
Then that sound came again,No body did anything.
The sound came again...Louder.
P:NOT OUR IMAGINATION!!!
Screams rose from that room
E:SHUT UP!!!
They we're all frightened.They called the police...the line died after they detto ten words.

2

Slander Mawn!

posted by MarMar_XigLux

Holy Pooping Skeletons! Guys, I don't know how I survived, but I did, and now I am here to tell te guys about my encounter with the Slander Mawn.
It all started when me and my friends..Okay I don't have friends..Well me and my..Myself were Trick o Treating in Halloween. "Awesome! I hope I get Candeh!" I said. "Me too!" detto myself. I was dressed as a elefante and myself was dressed as nothing. "Hey myself, I dare I can go into that scary Forest that most likely contains licantropi and Sparkly Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. with underage girls!" I said. "Lololo -- te just dared yourself!" detto myself. "I accept!" detto yourself. Yourself, myself and I entered the Forest and walked and stuff and it was dark and scary.

"Maybe I should head back.." detto myself.

"And lose the dare? NO WAY!" detto yourself.

"Um, guys I think I saw something!" I said.

Then a tall guy came and we died so much than we went to Heaven and came back as Ghosts.

SPREAD THE WURD! :D

5

She detto to me "that's why I don't friend"

posted by ShiningsTar542

How is friendship important when it's over once it starts?

"I was an active student in college, and I was really happy that I could get others' respects, as well as the teachers'. That made me get work office to mostra my activity in of my college. Yeah, that was the bright side. But the dark side was that I was unable to attend my classes, and I badly had to find someone that records my lectures and notes the lessons. And here the problem was, even though, I'm an active student, there was none to note them for me. Nor a friend. I had to handle that da myself for a period and that was as hard...

8

131 Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter

posted by Thecharliejay

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter libri and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from te (Example: When in a car o an elevator). If te don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Natale and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their preferito song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox...

1

Friend ship is powerful part one

posted by Misharrypotter

Note Im Savannah your seeing it thur her eyes be note they may be bad grammer and spelling oh and she's in a wheelchair too

'' Get up now'' I her my mum yelling from down stairs. '' I'm up I been up a while I got dressed '' I detto in return '' I don't care if your dressed o not get up and fry this bacon, pancetta affumicata for your sister and your brother'' she says qutie rudely. I'm use to this stuff I have to take care of my older brother and sister and yet I'm the youngest and in a wheelchair your on my crunshs. I down stairs to fry the bacon, pancetta affumicata I get the in time to turn it before it burns. Maybe this anno my...

3

how the cullen family found out that bella and eddy were in love..*please read and comment*

posted by poniesaremybffs

OK, this articolo is going to be in the point of view of many different characters. Before it begins in their point of view it will have their names.
BELLA
Edward wasn't a school today, too sunny, I'm guessing. The Cullens are probably out hunting. Charlie had detto that where the Cullens "hike" is filled with bears. I'm pretty sure that they are hunting somewhere else today, so I would like to see how it looks up there. I pulled on some hiking boots and got in my truck.
Eventually I reached the place. I was standing on the side of a small cliff. I found a few orso prints, and started to wander...

5

How to get a best answer on this club (or maybe others)

posted by xoPixie-Popxo

From many months of being here on Fanpop, I have only recieved 3 best answers. Hey, I'm still livin'! Don't fret if te never got a best answer, just simply drink latte out of a coconut, sit back and relax on a nice couch, and listen to my soothing words. Ok, I'm gonna shut up now and just talk about best answers.

1. Sometimes, don't actually do the the domanda might say to do. Dig deeper into it, deeper, deeper, DEEPER...ok, maybe your confused. I'll give an example:
Question: Why does everyone hate on Nickelback?
My answer: Because they don't have any nickels on their backs. Liars.
Get it now?...