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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the Film with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to unisciti us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy o a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML"


"Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, o even a girl for that matter. FML"


"Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML"


"Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML"


"Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if te reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML"


"Today, I spent fifteen minuti looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML"


"Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart da shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML"


"Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML"

Well, do their lives suck, o did they totally deserve it? XD
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posted by SymmaGirl2
At the Izu Islands of Japan, there are so many volcanic fumes, te have to wear a gas mask to go outside

Cussing is good for you

The FBI spied on Einstein for 22 years

Ecstasy might cure cancer

Paris uses sewage to heat schools

"I Got a Feeling" da Black-Eyed Peas is the superiore, in alto selling digital song of all time

Ancient Mayans drilled holes in their teeth to hold jade beads

Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" was intentionally pulled from the charts so that people wouldn't get sick of it

A man's skin has been turned permanently blue

Kissing is good for your teeth

Men can be allergic to their own semen

Some professional...
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The way he was saying "Sandwich" tho😂
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