How to have fun in math class...

Student: *Enters math class, sits at desk*
Math Teacher: Alright students, today we're studying weight. Now if one cartons weight is one pound and I buy three and a half more, then what do I have in grams?
Student: *Raises hand*
Math Teacher: *Points to student* Yes?
Student: A problem that will kill you, smoker
Math Teacher: -_- Moving on...Now students, if I have eight cakes that each weigh half a pound and I add whip topping to the superiore, in alto and the added topping now makes it weigh a pound più *GCO*
Student: DANG HOW MUCH WHIP CREAM DID te PUT ON THE PIE?!
Math Teacher: >.< As I was saying; the added topping now makes it weigh a pound more. Then, in pounds, what do I have?
Student: *Raises hand*
Math Teacher: *Thinks; I'm know I'm going to regret this, points to student* Yes?
Student: A eating habit, Mr/Mrs. Munch?
Math Teacher: *Thinks; Yep, I knew it...* Anyway...Let's try this problem; Now I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 bottles in another. Each bottle weighs 2 ounces. In ounces, what exactly do I have?
Student: *Raises hand*
Math Teacher: *Looks pass him/her* Anyone? Anyone at all?
Other Students: *Looks stupidly*
Student: *Keeps hand up*
Math Teacher: Really? You've got to be kidding me...*sighs* Fine...*Points to student* what? *sits down, puts head in his/her hands*
Student: 11 ounces
Math Teacher: *Looks surprised* Yes...That's correct! *Gets up and faces black board to write an equation*
Student: Oh and a horrible drinking problem
Math Teacher: *Turns to Student*

...And how to end up in detention in three easy steps =)