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This is a true story. If anyone tells te it isn't true, they are lying. Enjoy the story of my amazing life. -Lonk

I have always lived in PENNSYLVANIA. I was born in Pennsylvania and raised in Pennsylvania my whole life. I still live in Pennsylvania.

One day, when my mommy named Lonk's Mom was cooking, she realized she was cooking my boots. She stopped cooking, because she realized, those were my only pair of boots. She gazed into the boiling pot and didn't care about the fact that she might burn her hand and dipped her whole arm into the pot and took out my boots. I didn't see my boots, all I saw was burnt leather, and the rubber part of my boots wasn't even there. I had a look of shock on my face, there was no Cibo left. My family was incredibly poor and the most money we've ever got was a $20 bill. Sadly, where we lived, there was a famine, which meant all the crops died and the cows that ate the crops died, and the animali that ate the cows died. o so my mom told me that's how it works.

It was 2 days later, and I was hungry. After thinking in my room, because all these days I had to think for a way to get food, I came up with an idea. I got a hanger and I went to the superiore, in alto of our home on a very thundery day. I lifted the hanger above my head, and suddenly, a lightning bolt struck the hanger. And because of magic, the lightning bolt reflected from my hanger and hit the sky. The logic in that was so empty, that it caused another weird thing to happen. It started raining PINEAPPLES. I went inside and told my family to anatra under our table, in case a pineapple came in and hit someone in the head.

When the storm of pineapples was over, we collected a total of 100 pineapples. I was so happy. From now on, every 2 days, it rained pineapples. And every 2 days, at least one person got hit in the head with a pineapple. Luckily, Pennsylvania has a hospital nearly every corner. In case someone gets hit with a pineapple.

And that's the story of my life. I hope te enjoyed it!
posted by karpach_14
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor da floor, and once te find what te are looking for, te can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling te what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The Friends laugh and without hesitation sposta on to...
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 James
James
cabina for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Nine: James

    I’m James Ricky Reese. I live with my little sister, Cassie, and my older brother (he’s a bum), Greg. I have a hot girlfriend named Chelsea and annoying parents named Kristi and Bobby.
     Anyways, I am Canto my preferito song, 21 pistole da Green giorno whenever I hear the all American, annoying Beth scream. It’s not this scared, “It’s a spider” scream. It’s this really excited scream. “OH MY GOD HE’S COMING HERE TONIGHT!” I look over at her and expect her to be jumping up and down...
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cabina for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken


    Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 anno old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
    “GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the pera, corpo a pera into the side of this cassonetto, dumpster in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...
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posted by smileypop9
These articoli are gonna be the thoughts on life and stuff, and this is part two.
I did this because I was bored, and because I wanna get my thoughts out.
---------

Rap in one word? Crap.
That's my opinion, so don't bash me.
.
Anyway, I hate that stupid drivel. Yeah ok, sorry kids, that I sound like your mother. But I really think that people who listen to rap could seriously use an update to their tunes.
Why would te wanna listen to Musica from people who wear their pants down to their knees, objectify women, and swear 24/7?
There's much better Musica available.
...
People who listen to rap are kinda...
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The Dr. Z!!
By: moolah
(Note: I’ve changed both me and my friend’s name for privacy. I have also changed the name of the school, and my [math] teacher )
[P.S: For Ellen’s part, I am just guessing what happened when I was in the bathroom!]
True Story.

Scene: Applebee’s
Time: 7:50
Why: My birthday dinner
Who: Tabby(me) and Ellen(my friend)
Tabby’s P.O.V
    I had to go to the bathroom, so my friend Ellen and I went to the Applebee’s bathroom, and I knocked on the one door to a stall. “YES HONEY!” A woman *I think* who sounded strangely like a man laughed as she spoke...
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain te understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help te concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, te can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help te concentrate. If your friend shows te his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders,...
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posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what te want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee più than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My cuore skips a beat
When te walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with te until the end

I give my cuore and my soul to you
To make te see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant te see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what te want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I Amore my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a anno and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
They say, don't trust,
You, me, we, us,
So we'll fall if we must,
Cause it's you, me,
And it's all about,
It's all about
It's all about us, all about us
It's all about, all about us
All about us
And that's the thing that they can't touch
'Cause te know (ah-ah)
It's all about us, all about us
It's all about, all about us
All about us
We'll Run away if we must
'Cause te know (ah-ah)
It's all about us (It's all about us)
It's all about us (It's all about us)
In te I can trust (It's all about us)
It's all about us
If they hurt you,
They hurt me too,
So we'll rise up,
Won't stop,
And it's all...
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posted by invadercalliope
Songwriters: Rodgers, Nile; Edwards, Bernard

(CHORUS:)We are familyI got all my sisters with meWe are familyGet up ev'rybody and singEv'ryone can see we're togetherAs we walk on by(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a featherI won't tell no lie(ALL!) all of the people around us they sayCan they be that closeJust let me state for the recordWe're giving Amore in a family dose
(CHORUS x2)Living life is fun and we've just begunTo get our share of the world's delights(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the futureAnd our goal's in sight(WE!) no we don't get depressedHere's what we call our golden ruleHave faith in te and the things te doYou won't go wrongThis is our family Jewel(REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE)
The End
posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted salmone (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed riso in a riso bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the riso won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed riso on your hand and put your preferito filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled salmone on the rice. Push the filling into the riso lightly. Hold the riso between your palms. Form the riso into a round, a triangle, o a cylinder da pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the riso ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. avvolgere the riso ball with a strip of nori o sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly da americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: te got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I Amore it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if te call right now we will also send te a what ever te call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 più dollers shiping and handleing! te GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever te call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever te call it have te credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL giorno BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST stella, star IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all te have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! GIR EVERYONE LOVES te THE MOST te HAVE THE MOST fan GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST stella, star ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some Film i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some Anime movies,titanic
Here is some Musica i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some libri i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to lista all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!


1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound te get when te scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, te know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when te just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. pesce fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, o maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, o maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal più hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
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posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would data Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd baciare who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never data a girl
I swear I'd still Amore men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When te watch a brand new one
I’d invite my Friends over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok te go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door campana, bell rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will te give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really random stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, te have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” detto my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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