ABRIDGED FRIEZA:
#1:
Goku: (puts his hands up, preparing a spirit bomb)
Frieza: (not aware of what’s happening) What are te doing now?
Goku: … Stretching.
Frieza: In the middle of our fight?
Goku: …… Yes.
(from distance)
Piccolo: What’s going on? He’s just standing there with his hands up.
Krillin: Wait a second.
Krillin: (Goku and Frieza and hear Krillin, cause he’s screaming as loud as possible) HE’S USING THE SPIRIT BOMB!
Frieza: The Spirit whats-it-now?
Goku: (thinking) Oh no.
Piccolo: Would te stop screaming.
Krillin: (still screaming) THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KILL FRIEZA!
Piccolo: (Mad at Krillin’s stupidity) Shut up!
Krillin: Too scared!
Piccolo: Dammit!
Frieza: (about Krillin) What’s that fool going about now?
Goku: He’s talking about… Ghosts.
Frieda: What do ghosts have to do with this!?
Goku: Everything.
Freeza: … That's stupid.. You're stupid!.. STOP BEING STUPID!
#2:
Frieza: Why aren’t my men mostrare up!?… Oh, they're dead... WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!?!
#3:
Frieza: So... we've been flying for about 20 minuti now... got any family? ...Because if so, I probably killed them.. (Nail remains silent) Oh, I know! How about a good old fashioned joke? How many Namekian’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?.. Their whole race! One to screw in the light bulb, and the rest to die... And then the other one dies too. (Nail remains silent) Stop ignoring me!
#4:
Frieza: I have to admit; This is new, monkey. This is definitely new. But a monkey is still a monkey, and I've killed plenty in my day... Millions. Literally millions. (Goku remains silent) What's the matter? Run out of quips? Cat got your tongue? No più words to flail? (Goku maintains silence) te think now that you're this so-called Super Saiyan that you're better than me, Lord Freeza? (Goku continues to maintain silence) WELL, YOU'RE NOT! I own you! I own your planet! I own this planet! In fact, FUCK THIS PLANET!!
#5:
Frieza: Oh please, if I'm as evil as te say I am then let God strike me down where I stand. (gets hit da a lightning bolt but is unaffected) HA! Nice try jackass! successivo time give it your A-game!
#6:
Frieza: (last words) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying.
#7:
Krillin: We’re from earth.
Frieza: Oh, good. I'll stop da your planet on the way home; pick up some earth eggs, some earth milk, an- BLOW IT THE FUCK UP!!
#8:
Frieza: Good Lord, I was led to believe your race survived entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
#9:
Frieza: (seeing how stupid Goku is) How do te function!?
#10:
Frieza: Oh, da the way.. Not dead.
ABRIDGED GOKU:
#1:
Raditz: So.. I finally found you.. Kakarrot
Goku: … What?
Raditz: That’s right, that’s your name.
Goku: … What?
Raditz: Yes, te were sent too earth too kill every living creature.
Goku: … What?
Raditz: You.. Hit your head as baby.
Goku: … What?
#2:
Vegeta: (in pain) This... proves... nothing…
Goku: Are te okay in there?
Vegeta: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
Goku: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: (after a short pause) ...I'm surrounded da idiots.
Goku: I thought te were surrounded da gumdrops and ice cream.
Vegeta: (Vegeta screams with rage as he destroys the plateau around him) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILATED da A LOW CLASS RENCH!!
Goku: Aww, looks like someone, has a ice cream head ache.
Vegeta: THAT’S IT!! EVERYONE DIES!.. SAY GOOD BYE TOO YOUR PLANET KAKARROT!!
Goku: That’s not very nice.
Vegeta: (screaming) OF COARSE NOT!! I’M FUCKING EVIL!!
#3:
Frieza: It’s like te just use random words te hear, too sound smarter!
Goku: Ohh, your just being homophone.
#4:
Goku: My ribs, te broke m… Mmmm, ribs.
#5:
Goku: I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon, pancetta affumicata in the fridge for all the living things that cry out in hunger! I am the Alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am Son Gokū! and I am a Super-- (gets blasted in the face da Frieza) Saiyan.
#6:
Goku: I’m Goku.. I’m insane.. From earth.
Frieza: (confused stare).
Vegeta: (weakily) He means, Saiyan.
#7:
Goku: He’s talking about… Ghosts.
Frieda: What do ghosts have to do with this!?
Goku: Everything.
Freeza: … That's stupid.. You're stupid!.. STOP BEING STUPID!
#8:
Goku: Hey, Piccolo, mind if I ask te somethin'?
Piccolo: What is it?
Goku: You're not human either, right?
Piccolo: Yeah...?
Goku: And your dad spit te out as an egg, right?
Piccolo: What about it?
Goku: Are... Are te a Yoshi?
Piccolo: (sarcastically) Yes, Goku. I'm a green fucking dinosaur.
Goku: Can... Can I ride you?
#9:
Krillin: But how could you--
Goku: focaccina, muffin Button.
Krillin: What?
Goku: Huh?
#10:
Goku: I'm done.. I'm done fighting you.. Your boring me.
ABRIDGED VEGETA:
#1:
Goku: What's wrong, Vegeta? Did Freezer do this to you?
Frieza: Oh look, he's all concerned. I'm impressed, Vegeta-- te managed to make a friend.
Vegeta: (weakily) Hate you. Hate te both
#2:
Cell: How?! HOW?! HOW DID te GET THIS STRONG?!
Vegeta: I trained all giorno yesterday.
Cell: Oh, te think you're being cute?!
Vegeta: Bitch, I'm adorable.
#3:
Vegeta: Is that me? Is that me stronger than me!? I’LL FUCKING KILL ME!!
#4:
Gohan: But how!? I thought te had to have a pure cuore to become a Super Saiyan, like my dad.
Vegeta: Oh, trust me. There's più than one way to realize the legend…
(flashback to a badly-injured Vegeta throwing a hissy fit)
Vegeta: I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! (begins pounding the ground like a spoiled child) IwannaIwannaIwannaIwannaIwanna—
(back to present)
Vegeta: Push-ups, sit ups and plenty of juice.
#5:
Bulma: te detto te were wearing protection!
Vegeta: I was! I had my armour!
#6:
Vegeta: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I'm so happy right now, I might not even slaughter te all!
Krillin: R-Really?
Vegeta: (laughter dies down) Oh no, te are all thoroughly screwed.
#7:
Vegeta: It’s dark out.. In a planet with four suns.. (watch alarm goes off in his head) OH te MOTHER FUCCCCCCCKKER!!
#8:
Vegeta: HAH! your dad's dead!
Piccolo: So's yours!
Vegeta: HAH!
#9:
Bulma: Oh, no, the Prince is getting all huffy! What are te gonna do, try to blow up Earth again? Because I have Goku on speed dial.
Vegeta: te must be as stupid as he is if te think he knows how to work a phone.
#10:
Vegeta: You! Namekian! Too strong! Explain now!
Trunks: He fused with Kami to become stronger.
Vegeta: The fuck's a Kami?
Krillin: Basically, God.
Vegeta: BUT I'M STILL HERE!
Trunks: Do te really believe your own hype that much?
Vegeta: I AM THE HYPE!
#1:
Goku: (puts his hands up, preparing a spirit bomb)
Frieza: (not aware of what’s happening) What are te doing now?
Goku: … Stretching.
Frieza: In the middle of our fight?
Goku: …… Yes.
(from distance)
Piccolo: What’s going on? He’s just standing there with his hands up.
Krillin: Wait a second.
Krillin: (Goku and Frieza and hear Krillin, cause he’s screaming as loud as possible) HE’S USING THE SPIRIT BOMB!
Frieza: The Spirit whats-it-now?
Goku: (thinking) Oh no.
Piccolo: Would te stop screaming.
Krillin: (still screaming) THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KILL FRIEZA!
Piccolo: (Mad at Krillin’s stupidity) Shut up!
Krillin: Too scared!
Piccolo: Dammit!
Frieza: (about Krillin) What’s that fool going about now?
Goku: He’s talking about… Ghosts.
Frieda: What do ghosts have to do with this!?
Goku: Everything.
Freeza: … That's stupid.. You're stupid!.. STOP BEING STUPID!
#2:
Frieza: Why aren’t my men mostrare up!?… Oh, they're dead... WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!?!
#3:
Frieza: So... we've been flying for about 20 minuti now... got any family? ...Because if so, I probably killed them.. (Nail remains silent) Oh, I know! How about a good old fashioned joke? How many Namekian’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?.. Their whole race! One to screw in the light bulb, and the rest to die... And then the other one dies too. (Nail remains silent) Stop ignoring me!
#4:
Frieza: I have to admit; This is new, monkey. This is definitely new. But a monkey is still a monkey, and I've killed plenty in my day... Millions. Literally millions. (Goku remains silent) What's the matter? Run out of quips? Cat got your tongue? No più words to flail? (Goku maintains silence) te think now that you're this so-called Super Saiyan that you're better than me, Lord Freeza? (Goku continues to maintain silence) WELL, YOU'RE NOT! I own you! I own your planet! I own this planet! In fact, FUCK THIS PLANET!!
#5:
Frieza: Oh please, if I'm as evil as te say I am then let God strike me down where I stand. (gets hit da a lightning bolt but is unaffected) HA! Nice try jackass! successivo time give it your A-game!
#6:
Frieza: (last words) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying.
#7:
Krillin: We’re from earth.
Frieza: Oh, good. I'll stop da your planet on the way home; pick up some earth eggs, some earth milk, an- BLOW IT THE FUCK UP!!
#8:
Frieza: Good Lord, I was led to believe your race survived entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
#9:
Frieza: (seeing how stupid Goku is) How do te function!?
#10:
Frieza: Oh, da the way.. Not dead.
ABRIDGED GOKU:
#1:
Raditz: So.. I finally found you.. Kakarrot
Goku: … What?
Raditz: That’s right, that’s your name.
Goku: … What?
Raditz: Yes, te were sent too earth too kill every living creature.
Goku: … What?
Raditz: You.. Hit your head as baby.
Goku: … What?
#2:
Vegeta: (in pain) This... proves... nothing…
Goku: Are te okay in there?
Vegeta: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
Goku: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: (after a short pause) ...I'm surrounded da idiots.
Goku: I thought te were surrounded da gumdrops and ice cream.
Vegeta: (Vegeta screams with rage as he destroys the plateau around him) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILATED da A LOW CLASS RENCH!!
Goku: Aww, looks like someone, has a ice cream head ache.
Vegeta: THAT’S IT!! EVERYONE DIES!.. SAY GOOD BYE TOO YOUR PLANET KAKARROT!!
Goku: That’s not very nice.
Vegeta: (screaming) OF COARSE NOT!! I’M FUCKING EVIL!!
#3:
Frieza: It’s like te just use random words te hear, too sound smarter!
Goku: Ohh, your just being homophone.
#4:
Goku: My ribs, te broke m… Mmmm, ribs.
#5:
Goku: I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon, pancetta affumicata in the fridge for all the living things that cry out in hunger! I am the Alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am Son Gokū! and I am a Super-- (gets blasted in the face da Frieza) Saiyan.
#6:
Goku: I’m Goku.. I’m insane.. From earth.
Frieza: (confused stare).
Vegeta: (weakily) He means, Saiyan.
#7:
Goku: He’s talking about… Ghosts.
Frieda: What do ghosts have to do with this!?
Goku: Everything.
Freeza: … That's stupid.. You're stupid!.. STOP BEING STUPID!
#8:
Goku: Hey, Piccolo, mind if I ask te somethin'?
Piccolo: What is it?
Goku: You're not human either, right?
Piccolo: Yeah...?
Goku: And your dad spit te out as an egg, right?
Piccolo: What about it?
Goku: Are... Are te a Yoshi?
Piccolo: (sarcastically) Yes, Goku. I'm a green fucking dinosaur.
Goku: Can... Can I ride you?
#9:
Krillin: But how could you--
Goku: focaccina, muffin Button.
Krillin: What?
Goku: Huh?
#10:
Goku: I'm done.. I'm done fighting you.. Your boring me.
ABRIDGED VEGETA:
#1:
Goku: What's wrong, Vegeta? Did Freezer do this to you?
Frieza: Oh look, he's all concerned. I'm impressed, Vegeta-- te managed to make a friend.
Vegeta: (weakily) Hate you. Hate te both
#2:
Cell: How?! HOW?! HOW DID te GET THIS STRONG?!
Vegeta: I trained all giorno yesterday.
Cell: Oh, te think you're being cute?!
Vegeta: Bitch, I'm adorable.
#3:
Vegeta: Is that me? Is that me stronger than me!? I’LL FUCKING KILL ME!!
#4:
Gohan: But how!? I thought te had to have a pure cuore to become a Super Saiyan, like my dad.
Vegeta: Oh, trust me. There's più than one way to realize the legend…
(flashback to a badly-injured Vegeta throwing a hissy fit)
Vegeta: I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! (begins pounding the ground like a spoiled child) IwannaIwannaIwannaIwannaIwanna—
(back to present)
Vegeta: Push-ups, sit ups and plenty of juice.
#5:
Bulma: te detto te were wearing protection!
Vegeta: I was! I had my armour!
#6:
Vegeta: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I'm so happy right now, I might not even slaughter te all!
Krillin: R-Really?
Vegeta: (laughter dies down) Oh no, te are all thoroughly screwed.
#7:
Vegeta: It’s dark out.. In a planet with four suns.. (watch alarm goes off in his head) OH te MOTHER FUCCCCCCCKKER!!
#8:
Vegeta: HAH! your dad's dead!
Piccolo: So's yours!
Vegeta: HAH!
#9:
Bulma: Oh, no, the Prince is getting all huffy! What are te gonna do, try to blow up Earth again? Because I have Goku on speed dial.
Vegeta: te must be as stupid as he is if te think he knows how to work a phone.
#10:
Vegeta: You! Namekian! Too strong! Explain now!
Trunks: He fused with Kami to become stronger.
Vegeta: The fuck's a Kami?
Krillin: Basically, God.
Vegeta: BUT I'M STILL HERE!
Trunks: Do te really believe your own hype that much?
Vegeta: I AM THE HYPE!
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every giorno since his retirement 25 years ago. One giorno he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't te take my brother with te and give it one più try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the successivo giorno Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did te see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't te take my brother with te and give it one più try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the successivo giorno Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did te see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
