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posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a strada, via named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle te with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot coltello with butter

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline

Chuck Norris can understand women.

They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once got bit da a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a cuore attack. His cuore isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The original titolo for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen secondi long.

Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this giorno that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber

Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows te to lose

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...

Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.

When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a lista of animali Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry

Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can punch, punzone a cyclops between the eyes.

Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris can light a fuoco da rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fuoco with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.

the dinosauri made Chuck Norris mad...once

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun

Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea

Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.

When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.

Chuck Norris can cook minuto riso in 30 seconds

When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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