Twilight la saga Article: Things Bella Would Never Say ...

43

posted by chocolate-bear

I found this hilarious lista on bellaandedward.com. Enjoy :)

Things Bella Would Never Say
1) Edward, drive faster! (Sent in by: Michelle)
2) Edward, I hate te and I don't Amore te any more. (Sent in by: McKenna)
3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma)
4) Charlie, could te cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade)
5) Lets go live in Florida! (Sent in by: Brenna)
6) I'm in Amore with Sam Uley. (Sent in by: Brenna)
7) te know what, I think this is only a crush, Edward! (Sent in by: Brooke)
8) Give me a makeover Alice! (Sent in by: Riza)
9) Mike is the hottest guy on earth! (Sent in by: Lilyn)
10) Edward -- I'm sorry, but I don't Amore te anymore. I've realized that my true Amore is Mike Newton. (Sent in by: Andy)
11) ciao Edward, can te go bite Jacob? (Sent in by: Alex)
12) I've decided I don't want to become a vampire anymore. (Sent in by: Stephanie)
13) Good god Edward, te and I are both so perfectly tanned! (Sent in by: Mia)
14) Well, since I obviously smell so good to the vamps, maybe Jasper and I can hook up. successivo on my list: Carlisle and Emmett! (Sent in by: Courtney)
15) I think I'll just stay human. (Sent in by: Chris)
16) I don't want to be a vampire anymore. I enjoy being a human too much. (Sent in by: Megan)
17) Edward, I absoltuly hate the color of your eyes.
18) baciare me, Mike! (Sent in by: Brianna)
19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! (Sent in by: Maddy)
20) Sorry Edward, I just used te to get to know Emmett. (Sent in by: Lilyn)
21) OH MY GOD. A vampire? And a WEREWOLF?! *runs away screaming frantically* (Sent in by: Phoebe)
22) Let's race! (Sent in by: Gabby)
23) I'm sorry Edward but I am just too coordinated to hang with te (Sent in by: Alexis)
24) Edward, I would just Amore it if te had red eyes! (Sent in by: Laura)
25) No Edward! Don't bite me! (Sent in by: Laura)
26) Alice, I hate te and te can't be my maid of honour! (Sent in by: Laura)
27) I wish Tyler had taken me to the prom (Sent in by: Laura)
Edward. I'm sorry, I just can't be with te anymore. I'm going back to Jacob, he still has a heartbeat. (Sent in by: Whitney)
28) Edward, will te bite me? I want to know what my blood tastes Edward, I don't want to be a vampire. And I'm going to go ask Aro to kill me. Adios, amigo! (Sent in by: Sara)
29) I wish te wouldn't breathe on me Edward - your breath stinks! (Sent in by: Sarah)
30) I'm going to the spiaggia to get a tan! (Sent in by: Ella)
31) I rock at ALL sports! (Sent in by: Katie)
32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna)
33) Edward, let's go party! (Sent in by: Alysha)
34) I want a BIG wedding! (Sent in by: Mackenzie and Jennifer)
35) te know, why did te have to kill James? I really loved him te know! (Sent in by: Bubbles and Pussycat)
36) Can we pleeeeeeeeease go play sports? (Sent in by: India)
I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope te don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)
37) Mike Newton is a stud muffin! (Sent in by: Jennifer)
38) te feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... (Sent in by: Laura)
39) Alice, lets have a sleepover. We can paint our nails, and do our hair, and even spend money! (Sent in by: Samm44)
40) Edward, I just dated te to get the coupe. Sorry. (Sent in by: Sam)
41) Edward, te are the cheese to my macaroni. (Sent in by: Allie)
42) Alice, te throw the best parties!! I Amore them!! (Sent in by: Lauren)
43) Y'know, when I jumped off that cliff? I really was trying to commit suicide. (Sent in by: Doriz)
44) ciao Edward, how about te go with Esme and I hook up with Carlisle. (Sent in by: Samara)
45) Edward, I used te to get Jacob. (Sent in by: Alysha)
46) Let's go to the PROM, Edward!! (Sent in by: Charlotte)
47) Eddy, I'm thinking of dying my hair blonde and going the cheerleaders, whatca think? (Sent in by: Amy)
48) I was thinking we could honeymoon on the spiaggia in Hawaii! (Sent in by: Kelsey)
49) te know Edward, I think when I'm a vampire we should get a dog! (Sent in by: Shelby)
50) Edward, I think it's really creepy how te watch me when I sleep. Please stop. (Sent in by: Alice)

nessie-eska, hinata-elric- and 41 others like this

14 more comments

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funnyshawna heres one ooh, sleepover! fun!

tnme Here is one: Sorry Edward, I want Jacob's baby

wildcats13 13) Good god Edward, you and I are so perfectly tanned! 19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! 38) You feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... Haha... these are my favs!!! Hilarious. LMAO

zeri95 i love 41 "Edward, you are the cheese to my macaroni" rotfl literally i crack up whenever i read it!!i also like:21,19 and 46 great job guys!!

BellaSwanCullen 3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma) SHE SAID IT TO HER FATHER WHEN SHE WAS ESCAPING 4) Charlie, could you cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade) SAID IT WHEN SHE WASNT FEELING GOOD, 2nd or 3rd BOOK

BellaSwanCullen 32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna) Ya, TO BE NICE..

hajra "God, Edward, get over yourself already!" Haha I LOVE Edward...<3

Jakesgirl94 this is something bella would never say "A baby ,with Edward? I'd rather have puppies!"

IcelandGirl812 These are funny, but on page 431 of Breaking Dawn she says "I'll race you" so #22 doesn't really apply anymore....

hello93 number 44 and 49 are my favorites !! XD

dogluverof2 this is so funny, i love all of it

hellgirl223 lol @ 18!

twilighter-duh i love # 47 its hilirous

jem_ This doesn't have a number --->"I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope you don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)"..It's right above number 36. Btw, I love the list it's so funny xP.

taelor4twilight LMAO here's one: "*sigh* Well... Edward see, when you were gone i sort of had a little fun with Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Jacob, Seth, Angela, Leah, Emily, Quil, Billy, Embry and Eric... if u kno what i mean." "Edward, Jacob told me he's madly in love in with you. But i think we can work sumthing out here. I'll take you on weekends!"

sampot haha... heres 1: "Jake could we get married???"

7_steph_7 heres one, renesmee, i hate you, im leaving you and your dad adn marrying paul. XD

7_steph_7 i like numbers 8, 13, 17, 19, 21, 23, 30, 37, 38, 39, 41, and 50! theyre awesome! lol

babina lol! that was hilarious my fave: 12,10,44,49 and many others here is another 1: damn it Edward won't you stop kissing me!

werewolflover 21 is FUNNY.i like things that involve screamin.

Inmagic_x3 38 LMAO XD

percyandpotter Edward: *leaning in to make Bella a vampire* Bella: Oh, wait, I changed my mind.

lysolwipe Oh my gosh these where so funny! I really liked 41. 41) Edward, you are the cheese in my macaroni!

twilight_james i liked 1-50!! they are ALL awesome!

XD3 #13 was just someone over thinking cuz it was gay

6

Unpredictable and Undeniable

posted by LexisFaith

~Chasing Cars~ [song my Snow Patrol]

Over Thanksgiving, Alice had convinced me to let her cut my hair. And surprisingly, I absolutly Amore it. I keep thinking about what Edward will think about it, then I remember me and Edward aren't going to happen. I have Mason to think about and his wife passed away only a anno ago.

Black Friday had been crazy. Alice got in a fight with some blonde over a giant culo tv to go in her room. Alice won. Rose got the boots she had been dying for, and Emmett's tool set. I had been able to get Mason's new letto set for his room. He has been hounding me about giving...

1

the new beginning!

posted by joe-edwardfan

“ the new beginning ”

As days passed it got worse. I couldn't take it anymore, we were growing apart, barely even talking.
Anything I talked about doing, Edward would disagree o say its not safe.
Once, I was going to the toilet and Edward asked Alice to go with me!. To the toilet!
That led to a giorno of me ignoring him. That taught him a lesson to shut his mouth and stop making decision for me…..well for about 24 hours. Then it starts again.
“Bells….your getting so boring! Talk a little…oh! I have a better idea lets play” Emmett grinned.
“Emmett, cant te see...

6

All for the Amore of Sin 5

posted by LexisFaith

I'M BACK!!! WOO HOO!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bella's POV

Last night I did something I hadn't doe since Edward had come home a week ago. I cried myself to sleep. Edwards words were still taunting me. 'And I like Miss Elena.' I wanted to burst into tears all over again but there was a small knock on my door and I held my composer.

"Momma? Will te read this to me?" Alicen was holding up a folded peice of paper being held together da a oro stick.

"Sure, Baby." I nodded and pushed myself up with my hands. She climbed on my letto and sat successivo to me, handing me her letter.

To:...

9

Forever and Ever 2

posted by LexisFaith

Tanya is being played by/looks like Nina Dobrev. A) because I'm tired of ditzy blondes ruining things (i detto ditzy blondes. Not all blondes are ditzy)
B)You will understand why in the successivo chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edward pov

The twins were four months now and I had to go back to work. I didn't want to get out of letto because that would mean having to leave them all here. I sighed and reached over Bella and hit the snooze button on her alarm clock.

She sighed and snuggled into me when I laid back down. "Morning." She breathed.

I kissed her head. "Morning."

She spoke...

2

Lost Amore

posted by groovychicklisa

Chapter 7

E|POV

2 weeks. 2 god damned weeks! That’s how long it had been since I talked to her. Every time I went near her she bolted as far away from me as fast as she could. I remained in the same place I had since the night she had left. Every waking minuto I would sit at the scrivania, reception and gaze over at her window hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She never shut her curtains not fully at least not in the 16 years I had been best Friends with her for. About 15 minuti later she opened her curtains and a large grin had spread across my face. Has she forgiven me I thought to my-self, part of me...

8

Cold Roses--Chp. 8: Deadly Dreams

posted by Summer_Leanne

Thank te so so much for reading, everyone, and ESPECIALLY for ALL your support! It's wonderful to know you're following my story. Amore te all, and thanks again! <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Deadly Dreams
The two elated innamorati walked back hand in hand to the Cullens’ home with joy and happiness in their hearts, despite the consequences they could face in the future. As far as they were concerned, their Amore would be kept a secret from the Cullens, because Alice couldn’t see Summer with Jake in her visions and Edward couldn’t read Summer’s mind. All Jake had...

1

New Moon - Chapter 2 - Stitches (pages 42-46)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 2 - STITCHES

Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I followed him out into the main room. Esme had come back; she was mopping the floor where I’d fallen - with straight bleach from the smell of it.
“Esme, let me do that.” I could feel that my face was bright red again.
“I’m already done.” She smiled up at me. “How do te feel?”
“I’m find,” I assured her. “Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor I’ve had.”
They both chuckled.
Alice and Edward came in the back door. Alice hurried to my side, and Edward...

New Moon - Chapter 1 - Party (pages 25-29)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY

We were pulling up to the house now. Bright light shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of fiori - rosa rose - lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.
I moaned.
Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. “This is a party,” he reminded me. “Try to be a good sport.”
“Sure,” I muttered.
He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.
“I have a question.”...

6

Conversation EPOV part 9

posted by CarlislesLover

I'm sorry it's been a while since I postato this story.
XX

“I’ll go after them te guys stay here”

“Renee”

“Just stay here” Renee walked out the front door and went to the airport were Bella and Jacob had presumably gone. “So what do we do know?”

“I would look to see Bella’s future but of course she’s with Jacob so I can’t see”

“I hope she’s ok”

“We all hope she’s ok” Carlisle was looking around for something. “What are te looking for Carlisle?” Esme asked. “My wallet, I put it on the tavolo and now it’s gone”

“I bet the dog ha rubato, stola it”

“He better...

9

Is This Really Happening? (Edward's pov)Chapter 2

posted by rubytuesday101

My name is Edward Mason Juinor i am 18 and have no wife.My parents are constantly asking me to talk to this woman and this woman.They dont understand love.My dad Edward is the town lawer and is rich.All the girls in town fall all over me but i dont like any of them te should not have to changer yourself o mostra off to get a man to like te they should like te no matter what te are like.I decided today i will go to the book store and buy a new book.I went into the cucina and mother was in there.
"Good morning mother i am off to the book store i will be home later"i detto and gave her a kiss...

9

Kayla's Visions, Chapter 35

posted by twilight-7

“Kayla, look at this one!”
“I see it, Alice.”
“Isn’t it just gorgeous!” gushed my sister-in-law. She picked up a dress made of satin blue material and held it against me. I looked down at it, wishing I could go home. But my husband beside me, gently squeezed my hand, reminding me I would not be able to escape.
“Yes,” I smiled at Alice. “Very pretty.”
Alice couldn’t sense my lack of enthusiasm but Edward could. I knew he was trying to cheer me up but a shopping trip wasn’t the best way to do it. He sighed quietly.
“We’ll need to get te a size bigger,” Alice said,...

i he never chapter 23

posted by KatiiCullen94

I was soo bored, flicking through the channels was pointles i knew i diddnt want to watch tv anyway. the room was soo quiet, i diddnt like it.
edward had woken me up a little while fa explaining that his family was going out for about ora and a bit for hunting,so i was home alone with Tanna. i couldn't hear Tanna mostra that she was awake, thank god.
i stood up and walked oout the door still wearing yesterdays clothes, now considering that im still human and i still have cravings like one, i went straight to the cupboard, and searched for the first thing that detto PIG OUT! I also wanted to...

1

Twilight - Chapter 21 - Phone Call (pages 423-430)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my letto and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV detto it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't...

7

If he nevcer came back cp9

posted by KatiiCullen94

to darkfairy97! thank you!

i woke.if te called that sleeping. but i diddnt want to move, i was too shocked to move, like i couldn't, paralized . again.
Jacob detto that he wasn't going to leave the house after last night, had givin up to continuing carrying on about the scent.
i jsut sat back ,and diddnt reply. i couldn't say a word. my face was numb, my whole body was cut off from me.
i knew that me recitazione this way would give concerns to jacob, but that diddnt matter now. i believe that after seeing Carlisle that Jacob knew who was there last night, but was too afraid of me to ask what happened....

4

twilight breaking dawn edwareds pov

posted by xroylex

i am sort of new to the whole Scrivere thing and i would really Amore it if te would commento please.

preface

everything i ve been fighting for was going to peaces all my dear 1s the people i couldn`t live without and the people that would be a pain to lose. "can i meet her" what was i ment to do say no? this is like last time when bellas life was Lost before my very eyes.
as they stalked fowared i could see there mind set on two things that i would not give up without a fight.

chapter one
the talk

it was a couple of days before the wedding and i was nervous no not cause i wernt readdy well i wernt...

1

Okay,this is a little bit too much...

posted by AnaRoseCullen

I mean I understand if someone hates a crazy,neurotic Twilight fan,but to think about Natale as something as a good chance to insult and quote "piss off" Twi fan,I find it nothing but ridiculous.
Look at this:
"Hate Twilight? Want to piss off a Twilight fan this xmas? Stop by
www.planetneonbunny.com and buy one (or more) of our Twilight mocking
t-shirts, £10 each plus reasonable worldwide shipping.Make their xmas lousy!"

Seriously,isn't Xmas suppose to be about Amore and sharing with your loved ones?Well obviously not anymore.This is what I see as obsessed Twilight hater,if te hate something...

2

Once Upon A Time... chapter one

posted by IsabellaMCullen

My newest and secondo fanfic.Pairing is Emmett/Alice.All human at the beginning.Hope te like this one.Oh and I dedicate the entire story to Paramore-CSI aka Pringles!

Luv ya for Leggere
xoxo bree xoxo

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Once Upon A Time....

Chapter One

Alice POV

I opened my eye's, and gazed out the window.Thankfully last nights rain had stopped.This was wonderful!Almost as if it were another sign that Emmett and I belong together.Today is such a big giorno in our relationship.Today is our One anno Six mese aniversary.I pratically jumped fom my letto and ran to my...

3

100 ways to annoy the Cullens

posted by e2mma2weasle3

100 ways to annoy the Cullen’s.

1.) Take Jasper to an African American Support center and tell everyone there his full name.

2.) Talk in a really bad Texas ancient when around Jasper.

3.) Tell Carlisle that Esme has been having an affair with Aro Volturi

4.) Dangle Alice's preferito pair of shoes over your head when te are standing on the opposite side of the boundary line.

5.) Fill Edward's iPod with rap songs

6.) Fill Emmett’s with classical

7.) Tell Alice that Jasper looks at porn

8.) Pay ten guys to look at Rosalie and go "Ewe"

9.) Spray paint Edward's car pink

10.) Tell him it was Alice's idea...

5

Bella's Diary ch.2

posted by alybops

Dear Diary
alright well i had a dream the other night.
i'm sitting in my room it's 12:00 and i'm still up thinking about the wedding. "hey bells!"
i jump when i hear jakes voice from the other end of my room.

"o ciao jake wat r u doin here?"

"o nuthin. i was just really bored nd i just thought i'd come see te considering that tonight is your last night as bella."

"well te know edward might not change me right after the wedding i mean maybe later. who knows i might even come back from the honeymoon still human."he flinched at the word honeymoon.

"haha maybe."

"well wat's the gossip on the pack?"...

6

What Would Have Been Chapter 11

posted by genyva

11. Twinge

He road with me to the Elementary school. He talked about the game and I laughed. He was a great Player, he told me about the scholarship and how it all when away with one spit bone. I got to the school a bit late, Mrs. Martinez eyes Kevin anxiously and she told me about the rose sent to Alison today. I just nodded my head and introduce Aly to Kevin.

“Alison Love, I want te to meet my friend Kevin” I was holding her; she smiled at him and looked at me.

“Hi Kevin” she detto in her sweet voice. She would say it to new people and grandpa when she wanted something. I shook my...