After the first worst bosses list, I failed to believe that there could exist più awful bosses. I have hope in game creators that they will do everything in their power to make bosses più fun, challenging, and worth my time, and would never find più bosses as bad as those in the past… I was an idiot to think that! While I do believe there exists più good video game bosses than bad bosses, that doesn’t mean there aren’t bad video game bosses out there. And let me tell you, they are, for a fact, out there. And they are really bad. So, naturally, the same rules as it was previously, only bosses from games that I have played and only one per franchise. Simple as that. These bosses blow. Let’s go!


~#10~


As much as I will always say that I prefer Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask over Ocarina of Time any giorno of the week, I will admit that Ocarina excelled at some things where Majora’s Mask fell flat. While Majora’s Mask had a better story and side quests, Ocarina of time did have a più expansive world to explore, if a little barren, but at least più accurate and less Mario-styled like Majora’s Mask. And the bosses in Ocarina of Time, I found to be much più fun. Majora’s Mask’ bosses range from one great, the rest being okay… to Gyorg.


#10: Gyorg from Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask





First off, let’s talk about Gyorg’s name… What the hell is that? What kind of name is Gyorg? That isn’t even creative. That’s just pure gibberish. The name, however, is far from being the worst part of this boss. It’s important to note that this boss is at the end of the Great baia Temple, the worst dungeon in, debatably, all of Zelda. A confusing mess to traverse through and being constantly carried da heavy currents. So already, anyone could easily be in a bad mood. And Gyorg is just there to make things worse. At least Morpha, while being trash, te could stay on dry land. Gyorg will cower under the water juuuust out of reach of your projectiles and forcing te to go into the water. Once te are inside, if te aren’t on him in an instant, you’ve already Lost him. But don’t worry, it won’t be long before te find him, coming out of nowhere and eating te alive, doing a large amount of damage. After some point in the fight, it will send out little baby fishes, as if trying to fight the camera wasn’t enough. The camera in this fight does everything to work against. If te wanna avoid getting hit, if te don’t see him as soon as te enter the water, start running, and don’t stop until te feel like your safe. And trust me, te really aren’t safe. It’s like the water dungeons in Zelda games are made to be awful, and Great baia Temple is no exception.


~#9~


Dead Rising, the first one, while not perfect da any means, is still a fun game, and still my preferito of the series. The psychopath bosses in this game are also pretty fun. Adam is a lovable bastard, Kent is a snarky douchebag, and Cliff will always be my preferito boss in the series. But sadly, like Dead Rising itself, the boss lista isn’t perfect. te do have bosses like Carlito with a rifle… and Cletus.


#9: Cletus from Dead Rising





While da far much better than Sullivan just for the simple fact that he is optional in the game, Cletus is still an annoying bastard. As soon as the cutscene prior to the boss fight ends and te are in gameplay, te have no time to react to getting shot. te will take a hit, regardless, unless you’re moving immediately. And once te get that done, congratulations, te avoided one of the many bullshit hits. te win an extra secondo before you’re health is drained because te don’t know what to do. If te are inside the gunshop, te are just screwed. Since the shotgun can spread, it will hit te and it will hit te hard, and not only will it instantly knock down one block of health, it can also stun te and even knock te on your feet, giving Cletus just enough time to reload and fuoco again! All te can do is hide outside of the store and shoot at him with some low level handguns te probably got from some zombies. If te didn’t know that, you’re just shit out of luck, because the only handguns are in the store, and te know what that means. Run out into the line of fuoco just to get a weak gun and probably die in the process. And if that wasn’t enough, if te take too long, Cletus will take out a bottle of wine and fully heal himself. Again, this is far from as bad as Sullivan, as I said, this is an optional boss fight and can easily be avoided. It isn’t even mentioned as a side quest. And, it is lower, because if te do manage to unlock the Mega Buster, Cletus, like every other boss in the game, is reduced to a pathetic weakling.


~#8~


Can we get one good fighting game boss? Just one? Why do they all have to be cheap and hard to kill. Can we get one that looks intimidating and is just as skilled as a real player instead of spamming stupid, cheap, unavoidable bullshit? What I’m trying to say is that the final boss of Skullgirls is the one bad part of Skullgirls.


#8: Marie from Skullgirls





As far as cheap bosses go, Marie is probably one of the worse. Marie is nowhere near as unfair and as bullshit as Shao Kahn, but te can at least predict some of Shao Kahn’s attacks. Not all, but some. With Marie, it is impossible to predict all except a select few. All of her attacks immediately come at te while te are fighting and te get absolutely no warning as to what you’re supposed to do to avoid it. The first form of Marie starts with her standing in place as she launches skulls at te when te get close. The problem is that, considering it’s a fighting game, te kind of need to be close unless some of your characters miraculously has a projectile. If te are close, te will have little time to notice the skulls flying at you, o the giant skeletal monster flying towards te that does several hits as it passes da you. Marie’s secondo form will give her the ability to summon a skeleton with a tommy gun that shoots te several times and a shadow figure that is only predictable for a few seconds, before it leaves the screen and then flies towards te with a fast and hard punch. And the final phase has her using all of this, only now, Marie is constantly moving around the screen and she can only be hit with upward o jumping attacks. Even if te have a special sposta that could hit her, good luck getting a hit in. She is always moving and if te have to be on the ground for it to work, believe me, it’s not going to work. And even then, it still may not work. Try beating her on the hardest possible difficulty. Trust me, it’s like trying to dodge rain in a hurricane. It ain’t easy. Neither is this boss.


~#7~


(SPOILERS FOR NO più Heroes 2: DESPERATE STRUGGLE)


I doubt that I will ever find a game franchise that has excited me più than the No più Heroes franchise. This was a game series I had desperately wanted to play for years and struggled to do so…. That was fucking terrible! So, when I played No più Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle, I can say a few things for sure. In some cases, the bosses were much better than the original game. And in other cases, such as the case with the final boss, it was much, much worse than the original.


#7: Jasper Batt Jr. from No più Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle





dato that I have both reviewed No più Heroes 2 and discussed this boss in my precedente Best and Worst bosses list, I’ll try to keep from mentioning similar things and just discuss this boss as fast as I can. Jasper Batt Jr. is a boss with three phases, and each one is a sign of a bad final boss. The first phase starts out very easy, with Jasper firing easy to avoid lasers and not even trying bats. After te defeat that phase, the fight gets much, much worse. In the secondo phase, it goes from pathetically easy, to complete cheap bullshit. Jasper will punch, punzone te around the room, giving te very little time to react once te get up, and even then, te have no time to react because te have to deal with Jasper constantly throwing punches and trying to suplex te into the ground. And, I’ve detto this many times before, but avoid the windows. Avoid them like the plague. Because if te get in between Jasper’s punch, punzone and a window, he will send te right through it and it will be an instant death, with no way of avoiding it and you’ll have to start from the beginning of the secondo phase. But nothing is compared to the third and final phase, where Jasper becomes a giant parade float…. Yes, really. Not only are te now having to fight Jasper as he hits te with hard to avoid attacks and sometimes just waiting for the game to let te win, but te also now have to fight against the camera, which can get stuck because Jasper is such a big target, te may not be able to see what’s going on.Who designed this awful camera work for the boss? The Devil May Cry team? Regardless, as much as Jasper is a terrible boss, I think that many people have slightly blew it out of proportions. He is terrible, one of the worst bosses I have ever faced. But he isn’t impossible. It just takes knowing when to strike and just going right to him. Plus the game being generous with allowing te to save yourself from death when te run out of health makes the boss a little easier. Still, a terrible way to end No più Heroes 2 if te ask me.


~#6~


Resident Evil Zero is a game I am very… mixed about. I’d go into più detail than that, but trust me, I have a whole lista planned for that occasion. So, with that out of the way, let’s discuss the bosses instead. The bosses in this game aren’t great. The scorpione boss sucked, the centopiedi boss sucked, Proto-Tyrant is okay, the Leech Queen sucked, but the Infected Bat...Oh boy.


#6: Infected Bat from Resident Evil Zero





Let me tell te something right now. Resident Evil was not a game made to handle multiple enemies in one room all coming at te real fast. It was not meant to be a big run and gun game. I’ll get to that crap in a bit. Let’s talk about the first part of the boss and why that alone is terrible. The Infected Bat, despite being a big target, is very hard to hit with some weapons. It will mostly fly above te and out of your view of the camera as te just have to wait for it to mostra up. Once it does mostra up, it gives barely enough time to react. te have to shoot it the very secondo it comes flying at you. If te stall for a second, te will be taking a hit. But te will never know when it will be coming at te because the camera is always locked in one spot and stops just short of where te can see the Infected Bat. And it can also grab you, lift te off the ground, and fly around, hurting you, before dropping te to the ground. A lot of bosses have this annoying mechanic where they grab te and hurt you, and it gets real annoying. But the fight only gets worse, because as soon as te widdle it’s health down enough, a group of smaller bats will come in, and this is where the fight becomes atrocious. Like I detto before, Resident Evil was not meant for te to handle several enemies. The same strategy still stands, wait for the bat to fly at te and hit it. Only now, because of the auto lock on in Resident Evil Zero, te may end up aiming at one of the smaller bats flying around the area, and that will greatly screw te over because te could either waste a bullet from a powerful gun on them o end up aiming at the wrong enemy as the Infected Bat flies at you. The scorpione boss, the centopiedi boss, and the Queen Leech were no winners, I assure you, but they at least had the decency to fight te on their own without random enemies getting in the way. The Infected Bat? Not so much.


~#5~


I did once have plans for making a superiore, in alto 5 Best and Worst bosses for Dark Souls 2, but the più I played it, the più I realised, “Wow, there aren’t many memorable bosses from this game, is there. In fact, a majority of them are just okay at best”. If te want my honest thoughts, the Looking Glass Night was the best boss and Royal ratto Authority is the absolute worst.


#5: Royal ratto Authority from Dark Souls 2





The first thing te should notice about this boss and how much of a problem it is can be seen from the Fog Gate alone. There is a bonfire right outside the boss room. So, when te die, te can just run right back in and get a do over. That is how te know that this will be one of the worst bosses in the game. The moment te step through the door, te will see a giant ratto on the superiore, in alto of a platform with four smaller rats at the bottom. What te want to do is simple. Kill those four rats. Fast! Using your strongest projectile as fast as te can. The reason is because those rats are carrying Toxic, a status ailment that will deplete your health at a much faster rate than Poison. Once te are Toxic, te might as well just die right then and there, because there is no way to get sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza from that, because the Royal ratto Authority will continue to leap at you. And te want to kill the smaller rats before the Royal ratto Authority joins the fight. Even if te aren’t hit with Toxic, he can kill te while te are dealing with them and kill te in a few seconds. Once the smaller rats are dead, if te somehow manage to kill them in your first few tries, the rest of the boss is simple. But the boss appears to have a similar moveset. One of a giant four-legged creature. Yeah, the boss is just a reskinned Sif from the first Dark Souls. Only instead of being a fun and emotional fight, te get this annoying one. But I am feeling some emotions alright! That’s for damn sure! I’ve also heard rumors that the boss’ hitbox makes absolutely no sense. te could roll out of the way of an attack, but te will still get hit regardless of what te do. This was the Dark Souls 2 equivalent of Sif… Let that describe the quality of the bosses in this game compared to the first Dark Souls.


~#4~


Mortal Kombat: Armageddon was a terrible game. Bad combat, generic fighting, and a Konquest mode that made Deception’s look good, with some of the worst story Scrivere and most bland fighting mecaniques in a Mortal Kombat game thus far. But don’t worry, because Konquest mode allowed te to beat up enemies outside of 1 v. 1 fighting, almost like a beat ‘em up. A very sloppy one. And there were bosses in them… And these bosses sucked. But of course, one of them is worse than the rest.


#4: Shao Kahn Colossus from Mortal Kombat: Armageddon





te thought Mortal Kombat 9 had the first shit Shao Kahn fight? Well, allow me to mostra te the Shao Kahn Colossus from Armageddon, while not being worse, it’s still bad on it’s own. The first thing to note about this boss is that, since it’s a colossus, te have no means of fighting it. The boss will fuoco projectiles at te from across the room and ground pound, sending te flying. Instead of hitting the boss, te are resorted to running around the room like an idiot and launching fireballs at four glowing spots on each side of the room. After that, te have to slowly and painstakingly lure the Shao Kahn Colossus to a cerchio in the center of the room, while he is still firing at te with projectiles, and then ground pound a button to send a beam of energy at the Colossus. But of course, that only brings him down to half health. If te want to kill him, te have to do the same thing again! And while te are doing this, te won’t be able to look at him and see the projectiles flying at you. And if te are on the ground, he can still hit you, giving te no breaks from his constant onslaught. So not only can he hit te from miles away, he also takes his sweet time for te to get a chance to hit him. Despite all of that, the boss is also really short, and can be beaten in a few seconds, if the AI allows it. But until te get the chance to defeat him, have fun being sent flying through the air a few times.


~#3~


Man, Devil May Cry 3 was such a great game. Dare I say it, it’s the best in the series. Though, I think many will agree with me on that account. So tell me why they had to go and make a boss like Arkham and put him in the game, and just have to ruin it’s chance of perfection? Just why?!


#3: Arkham from Devil May Cry 3





From the start of the boss, it may not seem like the best boss in the game, but it isn’t too bad… Yet! His attacks mainly consist of him flailing his arms around and running around the room, making it a bit annoying to combo him with any melee weapons. A real annoying attack of his is when he sinks into the floor and creates an army of these slug creatures that will jump at te and attack te all at once. If te aren’t constantly moving, o have an area clearing item, te will be taking a few hits from them, guaranteed. But, like I said, this isn't where the fight because terrible. No, the fight becomes terrible when Vergil shows up. And I never thought I would ever have to say things get worse when Vergil shows up. When the fight starts, te can ask Vergil to help te out da pressing the B button. That sounds sick, doesn’t it? Well, it would be, if it wasn’t for the fact that it takes away your skill that te choose at the beginning of the game. Well, as te continue the fight, you’ll notice something. Where’s my fucking Styles?! In Devil May Cry, te can choose four styles before each level. One’s that allow better blocking, shooting, melee, o dodging. Well, in this fight, te get nothing, because the button to use your Style is replaced with a button to call Vergil over. As handy as Vergil is in this fight, that doesn’t help when the slugs are jumping te and constantly beating te because your Royalguard Style is now gone o te can’t get any good dodged because your Trickster Style is now gone. Depending on how much te relied on that Style, te will get annihilated very quickly, and it’s what makes the fight with Arkham so much worse than it could have been. Thankfully, te get one of the best fights in the entire series afterward, but that still doesn’t save the atrocious fight with Arkham.


~#2~


(SPOILERS FOR FINAL fantasy XIII)


I have detto it before, and I will say it many times in the future. I hate Final fantasy XIII. I do not like the combat system, I think the story is really dumb and confusing, the world makes te feel trapped and unable to break out of it, and the characters are okay at best and Lightning at worst. And then there is the main villain, Barthandelus, o spazio Pope to the internet. I know that, as the main villain, he should appear numerous times… But does he gotta suck every time?
#2: Barthandelus from Final fantasy XIII

There are only two ways I know how to beat this boss. Believe me, none of them are any good. The best way is to do the obvious. GRIND! Grind until te are at the peak of the level te need to be in the game. If te aren’t at the very point of leveling up, than te may not stand a chance against the boss. The other tactic is to level up just enough and then be prepared for a long and rather boring fight. The reason I say that is because, if te have the right strategy, you’ll never really be in any danger when te go up against Barthandelus. Well, until te get hit with some sposta that makes te think, “Wow, that was fucking cheap”, mainly because if the party leader dies, everyone dies. Oh yeah, it’s one of those JRPGs! If it wasn’t good in Persona 4, what makes Final fantasy XIII think it will be better. So yeah, this fight will drag on and on and on until either he dies, te die, o your brain cells just quit completely. The fight will be nothing più than a bore, but hey, at least te got a strategy that will kill him soon- Wait a minute! I almost forgot! In Final fantasy XIII, bosses have this thing where, if they believe that te are taking up too much of their time, they will speed the fight up, o make te speed it up, da introducing a Doom ailment to your party leader. What this does is start a countdown over the leaders head. If te don’t beat the boss before the timer reaches zero (Trust me, te won’t beat him before that time), then te will automatically die, lose the fight, and have to restart the entire fight. This is the way of the game telling te to get out of here and grind until te can kill the boss quick enough. That is the thing that made me hate the Barthandelus fights that much more. Because it just decided that it doesn’t feel like taking too long and just ends the fight right then and there. And worst part, te have to fight this boss again two più times. Granted, after the first appearance, te get used to what te have to do and now that te need to grind in order to defeat him, but that doesn’t make the fight any better. They all still suck. And so does this game.


~#1~


I knew from the very start that I had to put this boss at the number one spot. This may just be a boss that no one has ever talked about, but they should. They really should. Because this boss is terrible in every way. Nothing about this boss works. It is atrocious. And that boss is Jen from Primal


#1: Possessed Jen from Primal





Okay, so in this boss fight, Jen, your character that te use for your combat, ends up getting possessed da the big bad guy of the general area. So, instead, te have to play as Scree, the weaker and smarter of the two. So, you’d think you’d probably have to solve a complicated puzzle o do a pretty average stealth sequence, correct? No! Instead, te must fight Jen head on. Alright, that’s not so bad. Maybe I could get a real strong statue to fight her with- Here is this new statue with an all new fighting style te have no idea about. Start fighting right now. That’s right, te have a new character to play as, and te get no time to react as Jen rushes towards you, ready for a fight. Because she is moving while te are taking control of the other statue, te will be taking at least one hit right off the bat. It’s a guaranteed hit and impossible to avoid. After that, Jen will start to throw constant combos at you, combos that te don’t have when te play as Jen. And te have to deal with them, which are almost unblockable in some cases, and can really mess te up if te aren’t careful. She can keep up this combo until te are dead. Another thing that really irritates me, te know, besides the boss room being pretty small in comparison to other areas, is that te are not able to parry Jen. When te knock her attack out of the way, and go for a strike, she will always dodge out of the way. But when Jen parries, it always manages to hit you, regardless if te manage to dodge o block. te will get hit and te can’t do a thing about it. This is what we like to call Fucking Bullshit! The boss has every single advantage over te and makes the choice of weather te get to win and sposta on with the game o not. It becomes such a pain after a while that te just want to scream in utter anger. The only way to beat this boss, as far as I know, is to psyche her out repeatedly. When she isn’t attack, that’s when te need to do a big swipe and finish her off. The fact that te need to resort to cheating is almost as bad as another boss that I know. But that’s beside the point. Regardless, Jen is a boss that took me, no joke, two hours to beat, because of how much bullshit was in this fight. The only plus side is that te can save the game at any point, so te can start right outside the boss room. And thank god for that, because I don’t think I could have handled going through that level. So, there te go. Possessed Jen. Worst boss I ever fought. I’m going to go play Persona now.