Will te read my yugioh fanfic?

I think it's goo and it's funny and shipping link: link Btw Amore the pic

hmm well it needs a lot of work... do te have a beta reader? cuz that would help, at least with coherency... also, the Scrivere seems like it's mostly dialogue (i only read like the first chapter) which can get kindof confusing... te should make sure the reader knows who's talking when... and maybe provide a little descrizione so we can keep track of the timeline...I'm not really sure where you're going with this fic, but has potential! it just needs some basic work... also, with the swearing... I'm sorry, but i find it kindof hard to believe, coming from some of these characters...just something to keep in mind...