I'm sorry for asking so many domande but I need help with this please :'(

Yes God can read your mind. But remember, God loves te and the people that te are thinking about. So he will not make bad things happen because te are thinking about them. God made te and loves te the way te are. I don't think he will change te into someone different unless it was for your good and His glory.
God does allow bad things to happen, but promises to bring good from it for all who Amore him.
The thing about having these thoughts and fears is without meaning to, te may act in a way to bring them to be. It's called self fullfilled prophecy.
God still heals. He also uses doctors to help people. My thoughts are te need a proffesional to talk to and a doctor to possibly get the correct medication. It sounds like there may be a inbalance that can be corrected. There is no shame in getting help. But it is sad seeing someone living with this.
te seem to have a really good heart. I hope and pray that te receive the help te need. I want te to live and enjoy your life to your God dato potential. God bless.
P.S. te know te can always send me a message if te ever need to chat. (:

well if it just randomly pops into your mind God knows whether you're serious o not serious because that crap happens to me too but i'm not serious about it