Quinn (high): Heeeelllllooooo, Keeeennndddddrrrraaaaa.
Santana: Quinn, will te stop recitazione stupid? te know me. Santana. We're in the Unholy Trinity with Brits, remember?
Quinn (high, fast): OMG, I just now realized that grits is my preferito breakfast Cibo in all eternity. Grits...grits...grits--
Santana: What the hell? No. I'm talking about Brittany.
Quinn (high): I'm gonna get me some grits...
(Santana watched Quinn walk away, dazed. She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest.)
Santana's Thoughts: What's happened to our girl? She's never like this before.
(Brittany suddenly walks da holding an almost-empty box of ribbons that read "Vote Brittany 4 Prezident" on them.)
Brittany: Hey.
Santana (smiling): Hey, so how's the campaign going?
Brittany: It's going well. I just finished finding two guys in the janitor's closet down the other side of the hall. I convinced them to give me their seeds in return for campaign votes.
Santana (shocked): Brits, no! Quinn already got pregnant, remember? te don't wanna mess around like that, o you'll get AIDS.
Brittany (confused): How do te get AIDS from sunflower seeds?
Santana: Huh?
Brittany: bambini come from seeds, don't they? te just put them in this thick liquid, ingoiare, inghiottire it, then a while later te start to get morning sickness from the thick liquid stuff. And then the seeds transform into a fetus inside you.
(Silence.)
Santana: That's not at all what happens.
Brittany: It's not?
Santana: No. (Santana walks with Brittany down the hall.) te know, I've been thinking. You're gonna need me to be your vice president.
Brittany: Why? I thought te wanted to be my campaign manager.
Santana: I do. But that's only gonna last until the election is over. Besides, we're a team when we work together.
Brittany (smiles in agreement): Yeah, like when we watch "Sweet Valley High" and we give each other sweet lady kisses.
Santana: Speaking of which, do te want to come over my house afterschool?
Brittany: After I pass the rest of these out. And Santana, I think that's a great idea. te should ask Coach Beiste to run for vice president. It'll be fun.
Santana: Yeah. I'll see te later, Brits.
Brittany: You, too, San.
(Santana watches as Brittany leaves her in the empty hallway. Then she leans against a locker, smoothing out her Cheerios gonna and looking up at the ceiling.)
Santana's Thoughts: I like how we work together. I just wish that Brittany doesn't want me to...you know, tell my feelings before anyone. I'm not ready for all of that. I still have some things to figure out for myself.
(As Santana walked to class, Jacob Ben Israel was watching her from a corner and recorded everything she and Brittany were discussing. He then ran to the media room with other students who were Scrivere out the school newspaper.)
Jacob: Guys, I have some exclusives.
Student #1: It's about freakin' time.
Student #2: Let me guess. Sue Sylvester's sandbags continue to sag as Santana Lopez's gets rounder, right?
Student #3: True fact.
Jacob: It's about Santana Lopez...(disappointed) but not her boobs.
Student #2: What is it?
Jacob: Rumor has it that she's stuck in the closet with election candidate Brittany S. Pierce. They were talking in the hallway about baciare each other and watching "Sweet Valley High", and--they're literally together!!!
Student #1: Brittany is so hot. Every time I look at her, I pee my pants.
(Silence.)
Student #3: How do te know for real?
Jacob (holding a tape recorder): I got evidence.
(The students and Jacob listened to the conversation Santana and Brittany were having in the hallway. All of the students looked surprised. They couldn't believe what they just heard.)
Student #1: Oh...my...God.
Student #3: She's not gonna win with this.
Student #2: I just got a boner.
Jacob: What do te guys think?
(The students talked about it for a minute. Then they came up with a solution.)
Student #1: Run the story.
Well, that's Chapter Five. What do te think?
Here's the link for Chapter Four!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Six!!!
