SAWYER QUOTES

Episode Quote
One Pilot: Part 2 "I'm a complex guy, sweetheart."

Confidence Man [On Watership Down] "Hell of a book. It's about bunnies!"

Confidence Man [While Sayid is torturing him]
No, don't stop now. I think my sinuses are clearing. ("Confidence Man")

Confidence Man [Blackmailing Kate into baciare him so he'll give up Shannon's asthma medicine
"Baby, I am tied to a albero in a jungle of mystery and I just got tortured da a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious." ("Confidence Man")

Every Man For Himself "Did te just kill that bunny?"

Adrift [To Michael, as they float on the remains of the raft]
"What're te gonna do...SPLASH me??"


Kate: "Do te really expect me to work in this dress?"
Pickett: "You can take it off if te like."
[Sawyer grins at Kate suggestively and Kate gives him a nasty look]
Sawyer: [to Pickett] "How Dare You!"


Tom: Hey, te got yourself a pesce biscuit. Now how'd te do that?
Sawyer: I figured out your complicated little gizmo.
Tom: It only took the bears two hours.
Sawyer: How many of 'em were there?



Sawyer: (to Kate) "Doctor playing golf! Wooo! Boy Howdy! I've heard everything. What's next? A cop eating a doughnut?"



Kate: "What do te want, Sawyer?"
Sawyer: "Freckles! I got so many risposte to your question, I wouldn't even know where to start."



Sawyer: (to Ana Lucia) "Little Red Riding cappuccio gonna follow Big Bad lupo back to his stash o' guns."


Hurley: "Yo, Sawyer, glad you're back man!"
Sawyer: "Yo yourself, Pillsbury!"



Sawyer: (to Jack while playing cards) "You might have been in ******, Doc. But I have been in Tallahassee."



Sawyer: "You're in my light, sticks."
Shannon: "Lightsticks? What the hell is that?"
Sawyer: "Light, comma, sticks. As in those legs of yours."



Sawyer: (To Walt) "Wait, what's goin' on?"
Walt: "Charlie and Claire. They think Ethan took 'em."
Sawyer: "Ethan took 'em, huh?"
Walt nods.
Sawyer: "Took em' why? And who the hell is Ethan? And why am I getting the evening news from a 6 anno old?"
Walt: "I'm ten."
Sawyer: "Alright. Then it must be true."



Sawyer: "Hey, Freckles"



Sawyer: (to Hugo, Charlie, and Aaron) "Well, if it ain't three mean and a baby, I counted Hugo twice.



Sawyer: "If I don't play ping pong every 108 minuti the whole island's gonna explode."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

HURLEY QUOTES


"Maybe the dog can find water. I mean, Cani can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure they can find water."


[To Charlie who is accusing Hurley of hording food]
"And for the record, I'm down a notch on my belt. I'm a big guy. It's gonna be a while before you're gonna want to give me a piggy-back ride."


"Dude, you've got some...Arzt...on you."


"Look, I don't know about you, but things have really sucked for me lately, and I could really use a victory. So let's get one, dude! Let's get this car started. Let's look Death in the face and say, 'Whatever, man!'"


Sawyer: What's your problem, Jumbotron?
Hurley: Shut up, Red...neck...man!
Sawyer: Touché.


Sayid: People have problems
Hurley:(talking about Sawyer) Yeah we have problems, him.


Libby: [After she has kissed Hurley] And that...was real.
Hurley:Maybe te should do it again, just to be sure.

3
Further Instructions
Hurley to Desmond: So, like, the hatch blew off your underwear?



Hurley: Dude, I just lied to a samuri.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
BENJAMIN LINUS



"...So I guess this means I'm out of the book club."



Ben: "Do te believe in God, Jack?"
Jack: "Do you?"
Ben: "Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumor on my spine, a spinal surgeon fell out of the sky... and if that's not proof of God, I don't know what is."


Locke: "You guys have electricity? How do te manage that?"
Ben: "...We have 2 giant hamsters running on a massive wheel in our secret underground cave..."


[Locke emerges from Ben's closet after one of the Other's leave and demands to know...]
Locke: "Bring me the man from Tallahassee. What is that? Some kind of code?"
Ben: "No, John, unfortunately we don't have a code for 'there's a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter's head,' although...we obviously should."


"So, tell me John. How do te expect to pilot our submarine? I mean, it's a complicated piece of machinery. te don't just press 'Submerge'."


"...But to kill him...that would be cheating...because my people also heard me make a promise and to break my word...that would be the end of me too. And then te came striding out of the jungle, John, to make my dream come true."


"Picture a box. te know something about boxes, don't te John? Now picture a box that te can wish anything into. What would te say to that?"


"My name is Henry."


"We're the good guys, Michael."



4


Every Man
For Himself Ben: *to the rabbit* " Hey. Hey, come on. ciao move. Let's move, Hey, come on, come on, come on."
Sawyer: "What are te doing?"
Ben: "Come on, come on, come on. Let's sposta it. Let's sposta it. Hippity hop. Hippity hop. Hipity hop."
Sawyer: "Come on, what are te doing?"
Ben: "Let's sposta it. Let's sposta it. Let's sposta it."
Sawyer: "What's your problem?"
Ben: "Come on, come on, come on." *the bunny finally keels over*
Sawyer: "Did te just kill that bunny?"



Karl, please, if you're going to sleep with my daughter, I insist te call me Ben.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

CHARLIE PACE



[To Kate and Jack]
"If te guys are finished verbally copulating, we should get a sposta on."



Jack: [needs blood for transfusion for Boone, but Charlie only found out four] te only asked four people?
Charlie: I asked everyone. No one knows their blood type! *I* don't know my bloody blood type!


Hugo 'Hurley' Reyes: [out of breath] Did either of te see a guy run through here... in a bathrobe... with a coconut?
Charlie Pace: No...
[cheekily]
Charlie Pace: I saw a polar orso on roller blades with a mango


Charlie: Yeah, chase the dog with the skeletal arm into the creepy jungle. te be my guest.



Charlie: Guys, te have to look at this!
Jack: What is it?
Charlie: Claire's diary.
[hold it out for them to read]
Sayid: te read her diary?
Charlie: I know, I'm bloody scum... just read it!


Desmond: Where do I know te from?
Charlie: I don't know, but I'll remember if I could get some help.
Desmond: [Sees a flashback to the island] You're Charlie!
Charlie: Yeah, name's on the sign.
Desmond: It, it was in the hatch! I remember seeing you! There was a computer, there was a button... we were on an island!
Charlie: We are on an island, mate. This is England.
Desmond: No, it was real! I remember.
Charlie: Hey, all right.
[to the crowd]
Charlie: This is why we don't do drugs, folks.



Hurley: Dude, I don't know about this.
Charlie: See, you're looking at this all wrong. We need to do this.
Hurley: He wants us to take his stash - yeah, that sounds exactly like Sawyer.
Charlie: Well, he ha rubato, stola all this in the first place. I mean people need food, they need medical supplies, they need... a shocking amount of pornography.


Hurley: Dude, what d'you want from me?
Charlie: What do I want? I want to know what we're doing in the middle of nowhere! And don't tell me it's because of some stinking batteries. One minuto you're happy-go-lucky, good-time Hurley, the successivo you're Colonel bloody Kurtz!



Charlie Pace: [to Bonnie and Greta] I came down in my invisible submarine. Don't te see it?



Mr. Eko: Climb that tree.
Charlie: What?
Mr. Eko: Climb that albero and perhaps we'll be able to get your bearings o see the plane.
Charlie: te climb it! What if I don't? te gonna beat me with your Jesus-stick?! I find it a little odd that your scripture-stick has dried blood on it!
Mr. Eko: Are te going to climb that albero o not?
[Eko gives Charlie a scary look and Charlie begins to climb]
Charlie: What kind of priest are te anyway?



[Singing to Kate]
"You all ev'rybody!! te all.........ev'...ry.......body??"


Charlie: So... first plane crash?
Claire: What gave it away?
Charlie: Ah, te can always spot the newbies.


Charlie Pace: I want te to give this to Claire for me...
Desmond Hume: What is it?
Charlie Pace: It’s the five best moments of my... sorry excuse for a life...”My greatest hits"... te know... memories... they’re all I’ve got...



Charlie: [sees Claire Scrivere in her diary] Dear Diary, still on this bloody island. Today I swallowed a bug. Love, Claire.


Charlie: Hmm. I have this dream. I'm driving a bus, and my teeth start falling out. My mum is in the back, eating biscuits. Everything smells of bacon. It's weird. 'Course I don't wake up screaming.


Charlie Pace: Hair spray? Now, I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but...
John Locke: It's not for me.


Charlie: te know when I used to get high, I'd watch nature programmes on the Beeb. Polar bears are meant to be quite clever, very clever. They're like the Einsteins of the orso community.


[talking to himself while Claire is in labor] I can do this, I kicked drugs, I can deliver a baby.



(when Ben calls the looking glass station, and Bonnie and Greta tell him that someone is down there.)
Ben: Who is he?!
Bonnie: I don't know, he won't tell us!
Charlie: It's Charlie! Tell him I detto 'Hi!'
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

KATE AUSTEN


[When stitching up Jack on the first day] "Any color preference?"



[When Pickett's about to kill Sawyer]
Kate: "Please, don't! I'll do anything te want!"
Pickett: "I want te to watch!"
Sawyer: "Close your eyes, Freckles."
Kate: "Stand up."
Sawyer: "Close your eyes!"


Kate: "I'm sorry I kissed you."
Jack: "I'm not."


Kate: "Why did she call te James?"
Sawyer: [sighs] "'Cause that's my name. Noticed somethin' else, too...[pauses, grins] te taste like strawberries."
Kate: "You taste like pesce biscuits."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

JACK

Kate: "It's strange, huh?"
Jack: "What's that?"
Kate: "Being back, not... looking for a way out of a cage. Not finding a reason to go running off into the jungle again. I almost don't know what to do with myself."
Jack:" Well, enjoy it. I'm sure something will go wrong soon enough."



"We either live together.... o die alone."


"That's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series"


[Whispers to Kate, as he goes to leave the Island]
"I'll come back for you."
Jack (to Kate): "I Amore you."
Kate: "This isn't like you...the whole "glass half full thing."
Jack: "There's a glass?"
Jack: "We're gonna blow 'em all to Hell."


[To Kate about Sawyer]
"All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

JIN

Jin Kwon: Good... to see... you.
Sawyer: Well look at that! Somebody's hooked on phonics.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

LOCKE

Locke: "We were all brought here for a reason."
Jack: "Who brought us here John?"
Locke: "The Island."



"Don't tell me what I can't do!"


"A leader can't lead until he knows where he's going."


"Hey... ciao don't te walk away from me! te don't know who you're dealing with! Don't ever tell me what I can't do, ever! This is destiny, this is destiny... This is my destiny! Hey, I'm supposed to do this, dammit! Don't tell me what I can't do!"


[To Ben, after his "magic box" speech]
"I'd say I hope that box is big enough for te to conjure yourself up another submarine in it."


"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain."


Locke: "Remind me why we're keeping him alive?"
Sayid:" What do te suggest we do -- shoot him like a dog?"
Locke: "No, I like dogs."



"I've done everything te wanted me to do, so WHY did te do this!? WHY?"



"I have looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was beautiful."

4


Confirmed
Dead Sawyer asks Locke: "You mind telling us where your getting your orders from, Colonel Kurtz?"
Locke: "I got em from Walt."
Sawyer: "What the hell, te saw Walt? In a dream?"
Locke: "No dream, it was Walt. Only taller."
Sawyer: "Taller? What like a giant? Ok, what exactly did Walt tell you?"

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

MR.EKO


"A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that I once killed a man to save my brother's life."



Mr. Eko: "Did te see it?"
Charlie: "Yeah, I saw it. What the bloody hell did te do?"
Mr. Eko: "I did nothing."
Charlie: "Most people, when they see a creature made of swirling black smoke, they run."
Mr. Eko: "I was not afraid of it."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

BOONE


[Jack comes across Boone doing CPR on a woman]
Jack: Stop! Her head's not tilted back enough. You're blowing air into her stomach.
[Jack starts CRP]
Boone: Are te sure? That's exactly what I was doing. I'm a lifeguard, I'm licensed.
Jack: Yeah? Well te need to seriously consider giving that license back.
Boone:... Maybe we should do one of those hole things... te know, stick a pen in the throat?
Jack: [looking at him as if wondering if he was being serious] Yeah, yeah. Good idea. te go get me a pen.




(Locke says that he worked in a box company. After Locke remarks that it will rain in a minute, and it does.)
Boone: Did te learn that in the box company?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

SAYID


Charlie:"They'll find us. They have satellites in spazio that can take pictures of your license plate."
Sayid: "If only we were all wearing license plates."



"My name is Sayid Jarrah, and I am a torturer."


[To Juliet as they are coming back from the Other's old camp]
Sayid: "I want te to tell me everything te know."
Juliet: "If I told te everything I know, they'd kill me."
Sayid: "What do te think I'll do, if te don't?"


Sayid: (To Alex at the Others' camp; he is tied to a swingset.) "You're Alex."
Alex: "How do te know my name?"
Sayid: "Because te look like your mother."
Alex: (pauses) "How do te know my mother? She's been dead for years."
Sayid: "I'm sure that's what they told you."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

DESMOND


"Because that's how it happened!"



"Brotha!"


Sawyer: "Hey, Oliver Twist! Where the hell's my stuff?"
Charlie: "What stuff?"
Sawyer: "You know good damn well what stuff. I had books, food, porno, a bottle of scotch."
Desmond: "Apologies for the scotch, mate."
Sawyer: "You drank it?"
Desmond: "Well, to be fair, there were three of us."
Charlie: "Yeah."
Sawyer: [to Desmond] "You, the munchkin, and who else?"


Desmond Hume: "I won't call... for eight years. December 24, 2004. Natale Eve. I promise. Please, Pen."
Penny Widmore: "If I give te the number, will te leave?"
Desmond Hume: "Aye."



Desmond Hume: "I'll see te in another life, brother."



"You alright brotha!?"


"You're gonna die Charlie."


"So we saved the world together for a while, and that was lovely."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

JULIET

Juliet: "I had the giorno off."
[To Hurley after a weird silence]
Juliet:"They sent te down here to keep an eye on me didn't they?"
Hurley: "Yep."



Jack: "...Now te want me to save his life... tell me Juliet, why would I do that?"
Juliet: "Because I'm going to go save your friends."


[To Sayid and Sawyer after they threaten her]
"You know its interesting, that te two are now the camp's moral police." and "The last thing either of te need right now, is più blood on your hands."


Sawyer: "So, when te pulled us out of those polar orso cages and put us on the chang gang, what the hell te have us breaking all those rocks for anyway?"
Juliet: "We were building a runway."
Sawyer: "Runway, for what?"
Juliet : [Turns to him] "The aliens."


Jack: "You think I'm stupid!"
Juliet: "I don't think you're stupid, Jack. I think you're stubborn."


Jack: "You missing those cheeseburgers yet?"
Juliet: "Only every second."



Jack: "Don't do anything stupid."
Juliet: "I won't if te don't [kiss] don't wait up."



Juliet: "It's stressful being an Other."



Juliet: "It's Other 101, gotta learn Latin."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

SHANNON


Shannon: I'm not gonna starve.
Boone: Right. What're te gonna eat?
Shannon: Ocean's full of fish.
Boone: Hate to break it to ya, but the ocean is not going to take your oro card.



Shannon:"You have no idea what I'm capable of."
Shannon:(To Hurley, talking about the census) te want my information? Name:Shannon Rutherford. Age: 20. Adress: Craphole Island.


Boone: You're never going to believe this.
Shannon: te finally learned how to tie your own shoes.
Boone: Funny. Someone at the caves built a golf course.
Shannon: Are te high?


Shannon: [when the U.S. Marshal was crying out in pain] I wish he would just *die* already.
Boone: Real humane, Shan.


Shannon Rutherford: te asked if te could do anything for me.
Sayid: Anything.
Shannon Rutherford: John Locke killed my brother, will te do something about that?


[To Boone, when talking about Rose] "Whats a four letter word for I don't care!?"

Shannon: [after Hurley informs her Claire has been attacked] What? I am so not moving to the rape caves!


(After Boone has told Sayid that Shannon is a bad girlfriend)
Shannon: (to locke) Where's Boone?!
Locke: I don't know...
Shannon: How can te not know?! te two are like, jungle pals!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
SUN



[to each other in Korean]
Jin: "Honey... I don't like being told what to do."
Sun: "Being told what to do was my life for four years... I didn't like it much either."
Jin: "Right. I don't suppose te did."



Sawyer: (To Sun after he tells her it was he and Charlie who "attacked her,also after Nikki and Paulo "died") "Are te gonna tell Jin?"
Sun: "No."
Sawyer: "Why?"
Sun: "Because then we'd have to dig another grave."


[to each other in Korean]
Jin: (talking about Charlotte) "Do te think she knows he likes her?"
Sun: "She's a woman, she knows."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
WALT


"Don't open it."



Walt:"Can I ask te a question?"
Michael: "Anything te want man."
Walt: "When's your birthday?"

Walt:(said to Locke) You've got work to do.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

MICHAEL

Jack: te picking up a little Korean there, Michael?
Michael: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know how to say "faster" and "idiot".





xD xD xD