Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Special Guest Stars
Nicole From Seanthehedgehog
Aurora Northwind From Alinah_09
Season 5 Highlights
Mirage: *Standing in front of station* Hello there. Being the new pony, and all, I got the advantage of hosting the season 5 highlights. When I first arrived, I was told many things about this place, and I even got to witness some things. Enjoy.
Episode 41
Pete: Well, whoever's fault it was, we still need another engineer over here.
Michael: How about we borrow some of your engines, and te won't need so many engineers.
Pete: We already let the Santa Neigh, and the Baltimare & Ohio borrow some of our engines. We don't have enough to give to you.
Michael: And yet te always have enough for the Baltimare & Ohio.
Pete: Hey, we don't normally lease engines to the Santa Neigh. They plan to sell part of their line going over our yard, to the Burlington Route.
---
Hawkeye: What's with the sticker you're wearing?
Percy: Pete put that on there to let everypony that I'm now an engineer on this line.
Stylo: Ah, congratulations on the promotion.
Percy: Thank you.
Gordon: *Arrives* What the fuck is this? te have enough room to let Percy sit with you, but te won't let me sit with you?
Hawkeye: What can we say? You're fatter, and much più rude then Percy.
Gordon: Why are te wearing a sticker? What are you, three?
Percy: Read it, and find out.
Gordon: *Reading sticker* New engineer? What the fuck gave Pete the idea to let te be an engineer?
Stylo: Because he actually knows how to drive a train.
Hawkeye: Yeah, all te do is either go too fast, o jump off at random times.
Gordon: Gesù christ. *Walks to train yard*
Percy: He always gets angry about everything.
Hawkeye: Oh yes he does.
Stylo: In 1941, he was one of the pilots that bombed Pearl Harbor.
---
Jeff: What's the matter Percy? te look upset.
Percy: So far, everypony has been getting angry at me.
Jeff: What did te do wrong?
Percy: Well first off, Orion tried to take off before one of his freight cars even got unloaded, and I prevented him from doing that. Then, the ponies that were trying to unload Orion's train got angry at me, and thought I was the one that tried to leave too early, and Snowflake just shouted at me, because she thought I was too slow to sposta my engine out of the way.
Jeff: So, what do te want to do about it?
Percy: I want to go back to my old job.
Jeff: But Pete won't let you.
Percy: Oh yes he will. If I just explain to him what's happening, then I'll go back to my old job. *Runs to Pete's office*
Episode 42
It was like any ordinary giorno in Cheyenne. Hawkeye, and Stylo were waiting for a train to arrive, so that they could drive it.
Hawkeye: *Sitting on bench* I'm bored.
Stylo: Hm?
Hawkeye: I'm so bored, that it's boring.
Stylo: Oh boy.
Hawkeye: Cutting bored.
Stylo: Gamebored.
Hawkeye: Floorbored.
Stylo: Checkerbored.
Hawkeye: All abored.
Stylo: I wanted to say that.
Hawkeye: That's what they all say.
---
Pete took Mirage to the train yard.
Pete: I'm sure te know how this works.
Mirage: Yes, I know.
Pete: Good, but I'm gonna tell te anyway. A huge line of freight cars can be seen there, da the tower. te push those cars down a small collina called a hump.
Mirage: How do te hump a train sir?
Pete: *Facehoof* Why does everypony ask that stupid question?
---
Hawkeye, Stylo, and Mirage went outside, where Pete, and the bus driver were arguing.
Drunk Bus Driver: I don't give a shit what te tell me! I am taking all your fucking passengers away from the train, and to wherever they need to go in the town of Cheyenne!!!
Pete: You're not allowed to! Those ponies want to get on the train, not the bus!
Drunk Bus Driver: Who would want to get on the train?!?
pony 36: I would.
pony 57: Me too.
pony 98: It's better than taking the bus!
Drunk Bus Driver: *Gets in bus, and drives away*
Hawkeye: Are te alright Pete?
Pete: Yeah. All we did was shout at each other. That asshole can do whatever he wants.
Meanwhile, near Cheyenne Town Hall.
Mayor: *Standing near hot dog stand, and looking at watch* OH NO!! I have to find a restaurant to eat before it reaches two o' clock!! *Runs past hotdog stand* Where is a restaurant when te need one?!
Army Pony: *Driving tank down road*
Mayor: *Sees army tank* What the hell?! What? The? Hell?!!? Army tanks aren't supposed to go down a strada, via like that.
Drunk Bus Driver: *Driving bus* I'm a bus, I hate te too!! *Stops bus*
Mayor: Oh good. I'm going to get on my bus, because my bus is here. *Gets on bus*
Episode 43
Pete: *Signing papers in his office*
Gordon: *Knocks on door*
Pete: Come in.
Gordon: *Enters office*
Pete: Mr. Suite. Why are te late for work?
Gordon: I'm sorry sir, but my car broke down. The engine overheated, one of the tires got flat, and the front bumper fell off.
Pete: Well then. I think it's time for te to get a new car.
Gordon: Sir, those cost at least $2,000. I can't buy a new car!
Pete: Why? How much money do te have?
Gordon: Only a few hundred dollars.
Pete: Why don't te sell your car?
Gordon: Who would want that unreliable pezzo, hunk of junk?
Mirage: *Enters office* Hello sir. I came back with a passenger train, wanted to use the bathroom, and then I overheard your conversation.
---
At a dealership not far away, Gordon, and Nocturnal Mirage were looking for a brand new car. The dealership had a pair of loudspeakers playing music.
This was the song playing: link
Mirage: The dealer will be out here soon.
Gordon: Good. I can't wait to get this over with.
Dealer: *Arrives* Hello. May I help you?
Gordon: Yeah, I just want a new car.
Mirage: He needs one so he can get to work.
Dealer: Well, we have two cars available. A Belair, and a Series 65.
Gordon: *Sees cars* Aw man. They're both so nice, but I don't know which one I want.
Dealer: Take your time.
Gordon: *Staring at cars*
Mirage: *Looking at watch*
Gordon: It's too hard for me to choose.
Dealer: There are only two cars. Please, choose one.
Gordon: Umm... *Continues staring* I can't... I... Fuck it. *Runs away*
Dealer: What's his problem?
Mirage: He's an idiot. *Runs after Gordon*
---
Gordon: *Looks at Hawkeye* Why are te wearing that ridiculous thing around your face, and over your eyes?
Metal Gloss: Because he Lost his eyesight.
Gordon: te mean... He's blind?! *Laughing*
Metal Gloss: Stop laughing at him!
Gordon: o else, what?
Metal Gloss: I'll kick te in the ass.
Gordon: Yeah right. Mares are too weak to fight a stallion.
Metal Gloss: *Kicks Gordon in the leg*
Gordon: Ow!! *Falls on floor* What was that for?
Hawkeye: For making fun of me. Don't ever do that again.
Gordon: Grrr!
Hawkeye: Don't get mad at me Gordon. Remember, te still need to focus on buying a new car.
Gordon: GGGGGRRRR!!!!
Episode 44
Hawkeye, and Stylo: *Climb into engine*
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
While the train was leaving, Louis decided to write a letter.
Dear Clint Eastwood,
It's me, Louis Bodine. I haven't heard from te in a while, but I did get to see te in a movie. Congratulations. I'm Scrivere to te from a train station in Cheyenne Wyoming. It's part of the Union Pacific line, and the ponies that work here are superb. They're all nice. Pierce Hawkins, o Hawkeye is one of the engineers.
A few days ago, he was trying to help somepony, but he got angry at him for that.
Gordon: *Cleaning station* Why do I have to sweep the floor, when I should be driving a train?!
Hawkeye: *Watching Gordon carelessly clean* Gordon, you're supposed to get all of the dust, you're leaving some of it on the floor.
Gordon: Who asked for te to make fun of me?!
Hawkeye: Alright, fine. Do it the wrong way. o better yet, let me do it.
Gordon: *Puts scopa down* te want to do it instead of me?
Hawkeye: Well, somepony has to do it, and it obviously ain't you.
Pete: *Arrives* Gordon, stop bothering Pierce, and get back to work. We want this station to look nice before the passengers arrive.
Gordon: I wasn't bothering him! He wanted to take over for me!
Pete: Really?
Hawkeye: Help him? Why should I do that, when he called me an asshole?
Pete: That's it Gordon, you're going home for the rest of the day.
Gordon: NO! I want to work!
Pete: Not with that behavior, te won't.
---
Stylo: Orion, we're low on sand.
Orion: Oh, don't worry, I know.
Stylo: te knew this entire time, and te didn't even tell me?!
Orion: Yeah. I used most of the sand to make a sand castle.
Stylo: ..Where exactly did te make this sand castle?
In Pete's office.
Pete: *Looking at desk* I'll never understand how Orion keeps doing all these crazy things.
Back to the freight train.
Stylo: Oh. I see.
---
Metal Gloss: *Driving train* We'll be going down Sherman collina soon.
Coffee Creme: Right.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's put on the brakes.
Coffee Creme: *Tries to put on brakes* They aren't working.
Metal Gloss: That's not good. If we don't slow down in time, we're done for. I got an idea, cast a spell so we can have water.
Coffee Creme: Oh, a fine time for a drink Metal Gloss. successivo I supposed te want some popcorn.
Metal Gloss: Just get the water.
Coffee Creme: *Casting a spell for water*
Metal Gloss: Better hurry.
Coffee Creme: *Finishes spell*
Metal Gloss: *Takes bucket of water, and pours it in firebox*
Coffee Creme: What did te do that for?
Metal Gloss: To kill off power. Without a fire, the steam engine can't go anywhere, now can it?
Coffee Creme: And then, we'll slow down before we crash. Good thinking.
Episode 45
Gordon: Is that te Coffee Crème?... Oh good, I'm so glad I can talk to te again.
Coffee Crème: *At a hotel in London* Merci. This meeting for female railroad employees could have been anywhere else, and it was chosen to be in the worst spot ever.
Gordon: London. Their freight cars are so small that they could collapse if te put a normal load in it.
Coffee Crème: And the couplings are so out of date.
Gordon: And dangerous.
Coffee Crème: Oui. Now if we were in my home country, France, that would be a different story.
Gordon: But the trains in France are exactly the same as the ones in England.
Coffee Crème; Are they?
Gordon: Yes.
Coffee Crème: Well then, France needs the exact same railway equipment that we have in Equestria.
British Pony: Miss Crème? The meeting will start soon.
Coffee Crème: I have to go. *Hangs up*
Gordon: *Puts phone away* Oh well.
---
Hawkeye: Hold it. I also saved something for a good time. *Shows medical tag* This is what they put on a pony's back hoof when they die.
Stylo: I got a pen.
Hawkeye: *Puts tag around Gordon's hoof*
Stylo: And now we write, retarded, and morally bankrupt.
Hawkeye: *Writing retarded, and morally bankrupt*
Orion: *Walks onto train tracks, then sees a train, and begins to sing* When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
Engineer: *Blows horn three times*
Orion: *Gets off train track*
---
Gordon: What is this? *Looking at tag* Retarded, and morally bankrupt? That's not true!
Hawkeye: *Arrives, and blows horn seven times, making it sound like the shave & a haircut song*
Gordon: Oh finally, my Friends are here to get me back to Cheyenne.
Stylo: Yup, get in.
Hawkeye: The sooner, the better.
Gordon: *Gets on engine*
Jake: Hey, what about the work in the train yard?
Hawkeye: Sorry buster, you're gonna have to do that yourself. *Drives away*
Gordon: My knights in shining armor! *Hugging Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: Stop it Gordon!
Stylo: And don't te dare hug me. I don't want to get arrested for being hugged da a gay pony.
Gordon: I don't understand this. te were being nice to me earlier, but now you're being mean!
Hawkeye: We were never nice to te Gordon, it was all a nightmare.
Gordon: Oh no it wasn't! I was popular, don't te deny it! *Pouts, and looks away from Hawkeye, and Stylo*
Episode 46
It was 7 AM in Cheyenne Wyoming. Hawkeye, and Stylo were sitting at the station, waiting to take over for a passenger train. They were playing a board game called Mancala.
Hawkeye: Have te ever played this game before?
Stylo: No, but I think I know what to do. *Moves pebbles around board* There are fourteen holes on this board. Twelve of them are small, and two of them are bigger. Six of the small ones are mine, one of the bigger ones are mine, and te get the rest. Each of the small holes get four pebbles, and we want to get as many pebbles into the big hole as possible.
Hawkeye: Are te sure te never played this game before?
Stylo: I saw a few ponies play it before.
---
Gordon: How could get engaged to somepony? We're dating!
Coffee Crème: He actually respects me, and doesn't act like an idiot.
Gordon: I don't act like an idiot.
Ponies: Uhmm. *Clearing throats*
Gordon: *Staring at everypony*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, what's going on here?
Gordon: Frenchy is cheating on me.
Coffee Crème: I am not!
Gordon: Oh yes te are. You're dating me, and getting engaged to somepony that doesn't even work here!
Coffee Crème: But he still works on the same railroad that I do.
Gordon: Where is he?
Coffee Crème: Denver, but don't te dare try to fight him.
Gordon: Why not? I'm tough.
A small leaf lands on Gordon's head from a albero nearby.
Gordon: AAAAHH!! *Runs to corner, and hides* What was that? What was that?!!?
Pete: It was a leaf te fool.
Gordon: Oh. *Stands up* I knew that.
---
Pete: *Climbs in engine*
Hawkeye: Welcome to the Hawkeye Express, where everypony on our trains are important.
Engineer: Pierce, wait! *Runs to engine* A little present for te helping us out here. *Gives case of birra to Hawkeye* Enjoy.
Hawkeye: Thanks. *Drives train* So, how'd te do?
Pete: I passed the test, and now they'll pay me $1,500 an hour.
Hawkeye: That's great.
Pete: Let me have some of that booze. *Takes bottle of beer, and takes a zip* That was good.
Hawkeye: To money. *Takes zip of beer*
Pete: To a life of luxury. *Takes zip of beer*
Hawkeye: To the Union Pacific.
Pete: That's a double.
Hawkeye: *Takes two zips of beer*
Pete: To railroading.
Hawkeye: That's a double.
Pete: *Takes two zips of beer*
Hawkeye: To getting drunk. Thaz a double right?
Pete: Right.
Hawkeye: *Takes two zips of beer* Hey. Is it illegal to driving a train when you're intoxicated?
Pete: I don't know. They didn't ask me that on my test. To drunk driving! *Takes zip of beer*
Episode 47
Percy was on vacation, and Orion was taking over for him.
Orion: *Hitting spikes into rails* Why does Pete need me to help you? You're perfect on your own.
Jeff: Actually, repairing track is very difficult on your own. I should know, I've done it before.
Orion: Well, I still think it's pointless.
Jeff: Would te prefer working on here da yourself?
Orion: No, I'd prefer doing what I'm supposed to do, and that is driving a train!
Jeff: Oh well.
---
Gordon: *Backs engine onto freight train* Okay everypony, te may load up the train now.
Workers: *Loading train with pizza ingredients*
Gordon: We need Musica for a working montage.
Workers: He's right. Get some music, now!
random Ponies: *Playing music*
Song: link
Gordon: Ah, *Sits back in chair* That's più like it.
Ponies: *Loading pizza ingredients onto train*
Engineer: *Pushing caboose onto freight train slowly*
Gordon: *Checking fuel gauge*
Ponies: *Finish loading pizza ingredients onto train*
Other Pony: *Connecting airbrakes from train onto caboose*
Conductor: *Climbs into caboose*
Gordon: *Grabs walkie talkie* Everything is all good in my end. How are things going on your end?
Conductor: Fine. We got all the ingredients, the caboose is on, and now we're waiting for a green signal.
Gordon: *Sees green signal* Signal is green, all aboard. *Blows horn twice, and drives train*
Conductor: I'm supposed to say that.
Gordon: Well, I made the job easier for you. *Continues driving train*
---
Coffee Crème, and Gordon were at the train station in Cheyenne. They were waiting for another train to arrive so that they could work together, but decided not to talk to each other.
Hawkeye: *Arrives* te know, I think te two could learn a very valuable lesson from all of this. Our first lesson is to not cheat on somepony that you're dating. We also learned to make sure that the brakes are working properly on an engine before te use it, and the most important thing we learned....
Gordon & Coffee Crème: What is it?
Hawkeye: It's not good to be covered up in pomodoro sauce, pepperoni, and cheese.
Coffee Crème: *Laughing*
Gordon: Why is that funny?
Coffee Crème: I don't know.. It's just.. It's just... *Continues laughing*
Gordon: Funny. *Laughing*
Hawkeye: *Laughing*
Episode 48
Pete was signing papers in his office, when Metal Gloss knocked on the door.
Pete: Come in.
Metal Gloss: *Enters office*
Pete: Hello Metal Gloss. What can I do for you?
Metal Gloss: A very good friend of mine is getting out of jail after ten years, and he wants to throw a party for himself in the station.
Pete: What did he get in jail for?
Metal Gloss: Take a guess.
Pete: I'm gonna say he got in jail for robbing a bank.
Metal Gloss: Nope.
Pete: Robbing a jewelry store?
Metal Gloss: Absolutely not.
Pete: Robbing a restaurant?
Metal Gloss: Who robs a restaurant?
Pete: Anypony that wants free food. What did he do?
Metal Gloss: He got framed for another pony stealing the police commissioner's car. He was only fifteen, and he was in school at the time the car was stolen, but the judge wouldn't listen.
Pete: Well, I'm glad for your friend that he's out of jail. I'll make the necessary arrangements for this to happen.
---
Pete: Enough chit chat, let's get this party started. *Turns on record player*
This is the song playing: link
Ponies: *Dancing with each other*
Zack: *Sees Hawkeye, and Metal Gloss dancing, and walks up to the both of them* ciao Metal Gloss.. When you're done, can I talk to you?
Metal Gloss: te can talk to me now. Is that okay Pierce?
Hawkeye: Sure, go ahead. *Walks to get punch*
Zack & Metal Gloss: *Walk outside of station*
Metal Gloss: What's the matter? te look sad.
Zack: I wanted to get a job here, but they detto I couldn't because of my criminal record.
Metal Gloss: That's not fair!
Zack: I know it's not fair, but they won't listen to me.
Metal Gloss: Alright, I'll tell te what. When I'm not busy, te can come here, and we can talk, and have conversations.
Zack: Yeah, okay. Thank you, I appreciate it.
Mirage: *Brings passenger train into station*
Zack: Who was that pony driving the train?
Metal Gloss: That's our newest worker, Nocturnal Mirage. He came all the way from Hungary to work for us.
Zack: He's Hungarian? Cool.
Mirage: *Stops train at station*
Jeff: *Walks off train* Come on Metal Gloss! Stop talking when there's work to be done!
Metal Gloss: Will te excuse me for a minute?
Zack: Sure.
Metal Gloss: *Runs to Jeff* Zack, and I are very good friends, and te two have something in common te know.
Jeff: We do? And what would that be?
Metal Gloss: Jail.
Jeff: *Gasps* Don't mention that word! It makes my legs wobble!
Metal Gloss: It does the same to Zack. He got framed for stealing the police commissioner's car. Now he's trying to work for us, but he can't because of his criminal record. Even so, it's time that we get another pony to help us. Pete needs to hire another pony as an engineer.
Jeff: Yes he does, and quickly.
---
Jeff: Who's there?
Mare: *Looks up* Do te work for the Union Pacific?
Jeff: Yeah, and I'm proud of it.
Mare: Well I'm Nicole. My special somepony named Ike is with me in this locomotive. We ran out of fuel, and we're trying to get away.
Jeff: But why are te here?
Nicole: We're escaping.
Jeff: From what?
Nicole: Jail.
Jeff: *Shivers* Wait a minute. Do te work for the Northern Pacific?
Nicole: I used too, but then I got fired. My boss threatened to kill me, so me, and my special somepony ha rubato, stola these two engines from them.
Jeff: Alright, I'll be glad to help. We gotta make it look like we're taking those engines away for scrap though.
Nicole: Got it.
Music: link
So they got to work. Jeff uncoupled his engines from the freight train, and left it in the siding, while he got his engines coupled up to Nicole's engines. While doing this, Ike was making markings on Nicole's engine, saying scrap.
Nicole: Don't te think it's dangerous to drive that train backwards?
Jeff: I don't have enough time to turn this thing around on a turntable, so here we go.
Nicole & Ian: *Climb into engine*
Jeff: *Drives backwards*
Railroad Police Pony: *Looking at train*
Dog: *Barking*
Railroad Police Pony: *Blows whistle*
Jeff: *Stops train*
Railroad Police Pony: A-ha! Caught ya trying to take two Northern Pacific diesels. te can't take those!
Jeff: But they're for the U.P. See for yourself.
Railroad Police Pony: *Looking around train* Alright, seems in order. Go ahead.
Jeff: *Drives away*
Nicole: *Looks out cab*
Jeff: *Shouting from his engine to Nicole's engine* Can te hear me?!
Nicole: Yeah!
Jeff: That was close!!!
Nicole: We had worse! I'll tell 'em to te when we get to where we're going.
And so, the three ponies continued on to Cheyenne, as the sun was rising.
Episode 49
One day, At Mirage's house, he was getting ready for work.
Mirage: *Breathing in fresh air, and looks all around him* Another beautiful day, and più time for me to work.
Colts: *Running to Mirage* Mister, we need your help!
Mirage: What's the matter?
Colts: Our bus is running late, and we need to get to school.
Mirage: Well, I suppose I could give te a ride, but successivo time, try not to talk to somepony te don't know. Get in.
Colts: *Gets in car*
Mirage: Stay there, I'll be back. *Goes to house, then gets on telephone* I gotta let Pete know that I'll be late for work. *Dialing Pete's number on phone*
Pete: *Signing papers in office, and picks up phone* Hello?
Mirage: Pete, something popped up, and I may be late for work.
Pete: Okay Mirage, get here when te can. Thanks for telling me. *Hangs up*
---
When Mirage got to work, he saw the same bus that passed him when he was giving the colts a ride to school. Nearby, were several ponies that just got off the bus. As Mirage was parking his car, the bus driver got out, and looked angry.
Mirage: *Gets out of car, and walks to station*
Bus Driver Pony: *Looks at Mirage*
Mirage: Good morning. Are te a new bus driver?
Bus Driver Pony: Yeah, and I think what I just did was dumb. If I knew I was bringing ponies to the train station, I might have crashed into a building!
Mirage: I'm glad te didn't. Our railway needs passengers, and we thank te for your assistance.
Bus Driver Pony: Lies! All lies! Buses will be the future of transportation. One day, all te ponies that work on railways will lose your job, and be homeless!
Mirage: That right there is a lie. Everypony here works their hardest.
Orion: *Runs out of station* Hey, Mirage, guess what!
Mirage: What?
Orion: I was this close to getting fired, but instead I got a three week suspension.
Mirage: Oh my god, what did te do this time?
Orion: I threw somepony's luggage onto the tracks, and a train ran it over. Well, I'm gonna enjoy my suspension! *Runs away*
Bus Driver Pony: te were saying?
Mirage: Okay, he's the only one that causes mayhem around here.
Gordon: AHHH! *Kicks pony out of station* Don't ever say that word in front of me again!
random Pony: But I just detto Moby Dick was a great book!
Gordon: Moby Dick is the worst book ever!! They should censor that word from the book, and everywhere in this world! *Walks to bus* Hey, get me to the bar. I need to get my daily dose of booze.
Bus Driver Pony: Get in. *Gets in bus*
Gordon: *Gets in bus*
Bus Driver Pony: *Drives away*
---
As Mirage was getting to a bridge on his train, he saw somepony waving a red flag. That meant danger.
Mirage: *Stops train*
Railway Pony: *Walks up to Mirage*
Mirage: What's wrong?
Railway Pony: I understand that you've been racing a bus to Denver.
Mirage: Yeah, where is he?
Railway Pony: Look no further. He's under the bridge, and got his bus stuck under.
Mirage: Oh boy.
Bus Ponies: We want our money back!
Bus pony 35: That culo hat lied to us, and detto he'd take us to another station to catch another train!
Bus pony 13: Then he tried getting us to Denver da himself.
Bus pony 6: The bus sucks. We're getting on the train.
Kurt: No you're not! How was I supposed to know that this bus was too big to go under the bridge?!
Bus Ponies: *Walk pass Kurt, and gets onto train*
Mirage: Well, looks like I got più passengers for my train.
Railway Pony: *Looks at bridge* It's risky, so go as slow as possible.
Mirage: Right. *Walks back to engine, and climbs into cab*
Kurt: Wait, what's he doing?
Railway Pony: Just wait, and see.
Mirage: *Drives slowly over bridge*
Kurt: Is he- is he going over?!
Railway Pony: Yep.
Mirage: *Getting train over bridge*
Kurt: *Looking at bus stuck under bridge* STOP!! YOU'LL CRUSH MY BUS!!
Railway Pony: It's not going anywhere. Relax.
Mirage: *Gets entire train over bridge*
Episode 50
Several miles north of Portland
January 5, 1951
Nicole: *Driving train through snow* There's not a lot so far, but when we start going uphill, we'll have to plow a lot of snow off the line.
Aurora: Casey Jones would have a hard time doing this if he was told to. *Shovels coal into firebox*
Nicole: Keep doing your best Aurora.
Aurora: Hey, when I was on the N&W, we had this great idea to keep ourselves occupied.
Nicole: What was it?
Aurora: We would sing songs. This one te have to speak russian.
Nicole: Oh, I know that language very well.
Aurora: Good. te ready to sing?
Nicole: Yes.
Song: link
più snow is on the tracks in front of them, but they continue working as they sing.
Nicole: Rastsvetali iabloni i grushi, Poplyli tumany nad rekoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj.
Aurora: Vykhodila, pesniu zavodila, Pro stepnogo, sizogo orla.
Nicole & Aurora: Pro togo, kotorogo liubila, Pro togo, chi pisma beregla. Pro togo, kotorogo liubila, Pro togo, chi pisma beregla. Oj ty, pesnia, pesenka devichia, Ty leti za iasnym solntsem vsled. I bojtsu na dalnem pograniche
Ot Katyushi peredaj privet. I bojtsu na dalnem pograniche Ot Katyushi peredaj privet.
The train starts to go uphill, and più snow is in the way, but their train does not slow down.
Nicole: Pust on vspomnit devushku prostuiu.
Aurora: Pust uslyshit, kak ona poet.
Nicole & Aurora: Pust on zemliu berezhet rodnuiu, A liubov Katyusha sberezhet. Pust on zemliu berezhet rodnuiu, A liubov Katyusha sberezhet.
Aurora: Rastsvetali iabloni i grushi.
Nicole: Poplyli tumany nad rekoj.
Nicole & Aurora: Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj.
Their train made it to the superiore, in alto of the hill, and they reached Seattle on time.
---
The successivo day, Nicole was assigned to drive a freight train to Denver. When she got back, she was waiting at the trainstation so that she could drive a passenger train to North Platte Neighbraska.
Nicole: *Sitting on bench*
Mirage: *Arrives with Percy, and Jeff*
Pete: *On loudspeaker* Attention, the successivo passenger train will arrive in five minutes, bound for North Platte.
Mirage: Nicole, may we have a word with you?
Nicole: All three of you?
Percy: What we have to tell te is very important.
Nicole: Okay, what word do te want from me?
Mirage: Intelligence. We just heard that some ponies in the mafia are set up at Archer Hill.
Percy: And since you're driving a train to North Platte, you'll have to pass those gangsters.
Nicole: te think I can't deal with the mafia. Coffee Creme knows better. She says I'm sagacious.
Mirage: te maybe, good gracious, but-
Jeff: Don't say anymore Mirage. It's quite unfortunate, but this young mare will have to learn for herself.
Nicole: Oh, te think it's because of my age that I won't be able to handle a bunch of wise guys.
Mirage: Well, young ponies do tend to make a lot of mistakes.
Nicole: You're younger than me Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, but I learn from Hawkeye. He's an expert on railroading, and I'd listen to him if I were you.
Nicole: I've gone through many adventures before. I can deal with the gangsters.
Jeff: *Sees passenger train* Well, your train is coming up Nicole. Good luck.
Percy: Yeah, you're gonna need it.
Engineer Pony: *Stops train, then hops out of engine*
Nicole: No I won't. *Walks to engine, and climbs in*
Mirage: How long do te think she's gonna survive?
Percy: Not that long.
Jeff: When I rescued her from the Northern Pacific, I thought she would have più common sense, but I think she Lost it all.
Mirage: te think it's from being in so many adventures?
Jeff: Not only that, but the fact that she got fired, just made her lose her mind. I've seen some ponies act like that before.
Percy: I hope she comes to her senses.
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Nicole: *Blows horn twice, and drives train out of station*
Mirage: Well, nothing we can do about it now. Let's get back to work.
---
So the gangsters took all of the money from the passengers. When they left, Mirage arrived in one of the trucks owned da the Railroad.
Mirage: *Stops truck da train*
Nicole: *Gets out of train*
Mirage: Hello Nicole. Are te being a good gracious pony? With all due respect, we don't like having any of our trains derailed. Pete's not going to be happy about this, but Percy, and Jeff will be most annoyed. Good bye. *Gets back in truck, and drives away*
Nicole: *Too ashamed to say anything*
Percy & Jeff: *Arrives in inspection cart*
Pete: *With Percy, and Jeff* te don't know how to deal with gangsters, do you?
Nicole: Well how is anypony supposed to deal with gangsters throwing grenades at you?
Pete: There was a gun in the cab of your engine.
Nicole: There was? Where?
Pete: Under the seat. We only use them to fight against the mafia.
The End.
Season 6 will begin in less than two weeks.
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Special Guest Stars
Nicole From Seanthehedgehog
Aurora Northwind From Alinah_09
Season 5 Highlights
Mirage: *Standing in front of station* Hello there. Being the new pony, and all, I got the advantage of hosting the season 5 highlights. When I first arrived, I was told many things about this place, and I even got to witness some things. Enjoy.
Episode 41
Pete: Well, whoever's fault it was, we still need another engineer over here.
Michael: How about we borrow some of your engines, and te won't need so many engineers.
Pete: We already let the Santa Neigh, and the Baltimare & Ohio borrow some of our engines. We don't have enough to give to you.
Michael: And yet te always have enough for the Baltimare & Ohio.
Pete: Hey, we don't normally lease engines to the Santa Neigh. They plan to sell part of their line going over our yard, to the Burlington Route.
---
Hawkeye: What's with the sticker you're wearing?
Percy: Pete put that on there to let everypony that I'm now an engineer on this line.
Stylo: Ah, congratulations on the promotion.
Percy: Thank you.
Gordon: *Arrives* What the fuck is this? te have enough room to let Percy sit with you, but te won't let me sit with you?
Hawkeye: What can we say? You're fatter, and much più rude then Percy.
Gordon: Why are te wearing a sticker? What are you, three?
Percy: Read it, and find out.
Gordon: *Reading sticker* New engineer? What the fuck gave Pete the idea to let te be an engineer?
Stylo: Because he actually knows how to drive a train.
Hawkeye: Yeah, all te do is either go too fast, o jump off at random times.
Gordon: Gesù christ. *Walks to train yard*
Percy: He always gets angry about everything.
Hawkeye: Oh yes he does.
Stylo: In 1941, he was one of the pilots that bombed Pearl Harbor.
---
Jeff: What's the matter Percy? te look upset.
Percy: So far, everypony has been getting angry at me.
Jeff: What did te do wrong?
Percy: Well first off, Orion tried to take off before one of his freight cars even got unloaded, and I prevented him from doing that. Then, the ponies that were trying to unload Orion's train got angry at me, and thought I was the one that tried to leave too early, and Snowflake just shouted at me, because she thought I was too slow to sposta my engine out of the way.
Jeff: So, what do te want to do about it?
Percy: I want to go back to my old job.
Jeff: But Pete won't let you.
Percy: Oh yes he will. If I just explain to him what's happening, then I'll go back to my old job. *Runs to Pete's office*
Episode 42
It was like any ordinary giorno in Cheyenne. Hawkeye, and Stylo were waiting for a train to arrive, so that they could drive it.
Hawkeye: *Sitting on bench* I'm bored.
Stylo: Hm?
Hawkeye: I'm so bored, that it's boring.
Stylo: Oh boy.
Hawkeye: Cutting bored.
Stylo: Gamebored.
Hawkeye: Floorbored.
Stylo: Checkerbored.
Hawkeye: All abored.
Stylo: I wanted to say that.
Hawkeye: That's what they all say.
---
Pete took Mirage to the train yard.
Pete: I'm sure te know how this works.
Mirage: Yes, I know.
Pete: Good, but I'm gonna tell te anyway. A huge line of freight cars can be seen there, da the tower. te push those cars down a small collina called a hump.
Mirage: How do te hump a train sir?
Pete: *Facehoof* Why does everypony ask that stupid question?
---
Hawkeye, Stylo, and Mirage went outside, where Pete, and the bus driver were arguing.
Drunk Bus Driver: I don't give a shit what te tell me! I am taking all your fucking passengers away from the train, and to wherever they need to go in the town of Cheyenne!!!
Pete: You're not allowed to! Those ponies want to get on the train, not the bus!
Drunk Bus Driver: Who would want to get on the train?!?
pony 36: I would.
pony 57: Me too.
pony 98: It's better than taking the bus!
Drunk Bus Driver: *Gets in bus, and drives away*
Hawkeye: Are te alright Pete?
Pete: Yeah. All we did was shout at each other. That asshole can do whatever he wants.
Meanwhile, near Cheyenne Town Hall.
Mayor: *Standing near hot dog stand, and looking at watch* OH NO!! I have to find a restaurant to eat before it reaches two o' clock!! *Runs past hotdog stand* Where is a restaurant when te need one?!
Army Pony: *Driving tank down road*
Mayor: *Sees army tank* What the hell?! What? The? Hell?!!? Army tanks aren't supposed to go down a strada, via like that.
Drunk Bus Driver: *Driving bus* I'm a bus, I hate te too!! *Stops bus*
Mayor: Oh good. I'm going to get on my bus, because my bus is here. *Gets on bus*
Episode 43
Pete: *Signing papers in his office*
Gordon: *Knocks on door*
Pete: Come in.
Gordon: *Enters office*
Pete: Mr. Suite. Why are te late for work?
Gordon: I'm sorry sir, but my car broke down. The engine overheated, one of the tires got flat, and the front bumper fell off.
Pete: Well then. I think it's time for te to get a new car.
Gordon: Sir, those cost at least $2,000. I can't buy a new car!
Pete: Why? How much money do te have?
Gordon: Only a few hundred dollars.
Pete: Why don't te sell your car?
Gordon: Who would want that unreliable pezzo, hunk of junk?
Mirage: *Enters office* Hello sir. I came back with a passenger train, wanted to use the bathroom, and then I overheard your conversation.
---
At a dealership not far away, Gordon, and Nocturnal Mirage were looking for a brand new car. The dealership had a pair of loudspeakers playing music.
This was the song playing: link
Mirage: The dealer will be out here soon.
Gordon: Good. I can't wait to get this over with.
Dealer: *Arrives* Hello. May I help you?
Gordon: Yeah, I just want a new car.
Mirage: He needs one so he can get to work.
Dealer: Well, we have two cars available. A Belair, and a Series 65.
Gordon: *Sees cars* Aw man. They're both so nice, but I don't know which one I want.
Dealer: Take your time.
Gordon: *Staring at cars*
Mirage: *Looking at watch*
Gordon: It's too hard for me to choose.
Dealer: There are only two cars. Please, choose one.
Gordon: Umm... *Continues staring* I can't... I... Fuck it. *Runs away*
Dealer: What's his problem?
Mirage: He's an idiot. *Runs after Gordon*
---
Gordon: *Looks at Hawkeye* Why are te wearing that ridiculous thing around your face, and over your eyes?
Metal Gloss: Because he Lost his eyesight.
Gordon: te mean... He's blind?! *Laughing*
Metal Gloss: Stop laughing at him!
Gordon: o else, what?
Metal Gloss: I'll kick te in the ass.
Gordon: Yeah right. Mares are too weak to fight a stallion.
Metal Gloss: *Kicks Gordon in the leg*
Gordon: Ow!! *Falls on floor* What was that for?
Hawkeye: For making fun of me. Don't ever do that again.
Gordon: Grrr!
Hawkeye: Don't get mad at me Gordon. Remember, te still need to focus on buying a new car.
Gordon: GGGGGRRRR!!!!
Episode 44
Hawkeye, and Stylo: *Climb into engine*
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
While the train was leaving, Louis decided to write a letter.
Dear Clint Eastwood,
It's me, Louis Bodine. I haven't heard from te in a while, but I did get to see te in a movie. Congratulations. I'm Scrivere to te from a train station in Cheyenne Wyoming. It's part of the Union Pacific line, and the ponies that work here are superb. They're all nice. Pierce Hawkins, o Hawkeye is one of the engineers.
A few days ago, he was trying to help somepony, but he got angry at him for that.
Gordon: *Cleaning station* Why do I have to sweep the floor, when I should be driving a train?!
Hawkeye: *Watching Gordon carelessly clean* Gordon, you're supposed to get all of the dust, you're leaving some of it on the floor.
Gordon: Who asked for te to make fun of me?!
Hawkeye: Alright, fine. Do it the wrong way. o better yet, let me do it.
Gordon: *Puts scopa down* te want to do it instead of me?
Hawkeye: Well, somepony has to do it, and it obviously ain't you.
Pete: *Arrives* Gordon, stop bothering Pierce, and get back to work. We want this station to look nice before the passengers arrive.
Gordon: I wasn't bothering him! He wanted to take over for me!
Pete: Really?
Hawkeye: Help him? Why should I do that, when he called me an asshole?
Pete: That's it Gordon, you're going home for the rest of the day.
Gordon: NO! I want to work!
Pete: Not with that behavior, te won't.
---
Stylo: Orion, we're low on sand.
Orion: Oh, don't worry, I know.
Stylo: te knew this entire time, and te didn't even tell me?!
Orion: Yeah. I used most of the sand to make a sand castle.
Stylo: ..Where exactly did te make this sand castle?
In Pete's office.
Pete: *Looking at desk* I'll never understand how Orion keeps doing all these crazy things.
Back to the freight train.
Stylo: Oh. I see.
---
Metal Gloss: *Driving train* We'll be going down Sherman collina soon.
Coffee Creme: Right.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's put on the brakes.
Coffee Creme: *Tries to put on brakes* They aren't working.
Metal Gloss: That's not good. If we don't slow down in time, we're done for. I got an idea, cast a spell so we can have water.
Coffee Creme: Oh, a fine time for a drink Metal Gloss. successivo I supposed te want some popcorn.
Metal Gloss: Just get the water.
Coffee Creme: *Casting a spell for water*
Metal Gloss: Better hurry.
Coffee Creme: *Finishes spell*
Metal Gloss: *Takes bucket of water, and pours it in firebox*
Coffee Creme: What did te do that for?
Metal Gloss: To kill off power. Without a fire, the steam engine can't go anywhere, now can it?
Coffee Creme: And then, we'll slow down before we crash. Good thinking.
Episode 45
Gordon: Is that te Coffee Crème?... Oh good, I'm so glad I can talk to te again.
Coffee Crème: *At a hotel in London* Merci. This meeting for female railroad employees could have been anywhere else, and it was chosen to be in the worst spot ever.
Gordon: London. Their freight cars are so small that they could collapse if te put a normal load in it.
Coffee Crème: And the couplings are so out of date.
Gordon: And dangerous.
Coffee Crème: Oui. Now if we were in my home country, France, that would be a different story.
Gordon: But the trains in France are exactly the same as the ones in England.
Coffee Crème; Are they?
Gordon: Yes.
Coffee Crème: Well then, France needs the exact same railway equipment that we have in Equestria.
British Pony: Miss Crème? The meeting will start soon.
Coffee Crème: I have to go. *Hangs up*
Gordon: *Puts phone away* Oh well.
---
Hawkeye: Hold it. I also saved something for a good time. *Shows medical tag* This is what they put on a pony's back hoof when they die.
Stylo: I got a pen.
Hawkeye: *Puts tag around Gordon's hoof*
Stylo: And now we write, retarded, and morally bankrupt.
Hawkeye: *Writing retarded, and morally bankrupt*
Orion: *Walks onto train tracks, then sees a train, and begins to sing* When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
Engineer: *Blows horn three times*
Orion: *Gets off train track*
---
Gordon: What is this? *Looking at tag* Retarded, and morally bankrupt? That's not true!
Hawkeye: *Arrives, and blows horn seven times, making it sound like the shave & a haircut song*
Gordon: Oh finally, my Friends are here to get me back to Cheyenne.
Stylo: Yup, get in.
Hawkeye: The sooner, the better.
Gordon: *Gets on engine*
Jake: Hey, what about the work in the train yard?
Hawkeye: Sorry buster, you're gonna have to do that yourself. *Drives away*
Gordon: My knights in shining armor! *Hugging Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: Stop it Gordon!
Stylo: And don't te dare hug me. I don't want to get arrested for being hugged da a gay pony.
Gordon: I don't understand this. te were being nice to me earlier, but now you're being mean!
Hawkeye: We were never nice to te Gordon, it was all a nightmare.
Gordon: Oh no it wasn't! I was popular, don't te deny it! *Pouts, and looks away from Hawkeye, and Stylo*
Episode 46
It was 7 AM in Cheyenne Wyoming. Hawkeye, and Stylo were sitting at the station, waiting to take over for a passenger train. They were playing a board game called Mancala.
Hawkeye: Have te ever played this game before?
Stylo: No, but I think I know what to do. *Moves pebbles around board* There are fourteen holes on this board. Twelve of them are small, and two of them are bigger. Six of the small ones are mine, one of the bigger ones are mine, and te get the rest. Each of the small holes get four pebbles, and we want to get as many pebbles into the big hole as possible.
Hawkeye: Are te sure te never played this game before?
Stylo: I saw a few ponies play it before.
---
Gordon: How could get engaged to somepony? We're dating!
Coffee Crème: He actually respects me, and doesn't act like an idiot.
Gordon: I don't act like an idiot.
Ponies: Uhmm. *Clearing throats*
Gordon: *Staring at everypony*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, what's going on here?
Gordon: Frenchy is cheating on me.
Coffee Crème: I am not!
Gordon: Oh yes te are. You're dating me, and getting engaged to somepony that doesn't even work here!
Coffee Crème: But he still works on the same railroad that I do.
Gordon: Where is he?
Coffee Crème: Denver, but don't te dare try to fight him.
Gordon: Why not? I'm tough.
A small leaf lands on Gordon's head from a albero nearby.
Gordon: AAAAHH!! *Runs to corner, and hides* What was that? What was that?!!?
Pete: It was a leaf te fool.
Gordon: Oh. *Stands up* I knew that.
---
Pete: *Climbs in engine*
Hawkeye: Welcome to the Hawkeye Express, where everypony on our trains are important.
Engineer: Pierce, wait! *Runs to engine* A little present for te helping us out here. *Gives case of birra to Hawkeye* Enjoy.
Hawkeye: Thanks. *Drives train* So, how'd te do?
Pete: I passed the test, and now they'll pay me $1,500 an hour.
Hawkeye: That's great.
Pete: Let me have some of that booze. *Takes bottle of beer, and takes a zip* That was good.
Hawkeye: To money. *Takes zip of beer*
Pete: To a life of luxury. *Takes zip of beer*
Hawkeye: To the Union Pacific.
Pete: That's a double.
Hawkeye: *Takes two zips of beer*
Pete: To railroading.
Hawkeye: That's a double.
Pete: *Takes two zips of beer*
Hawkeye: To getting drunk. Thaz a double right?
Pete: Right.
Hawkeye: *Takes two zips of beer* Hey. Is it illegal to driving a train when you're intoxicated?
Pete: I don't know. They didn't ask me that on my test. To drunk driving! *Takes zip of beer*
Episode 47
Percy was on vacation, and Orion was taking over for him.
Orion: *Hitting spikes into rails* Why does Pete need me to help you? You're perfect on your own.
Jeff: Actually, repairing track is very difficult on your own. I should know, I've done it before.
Orion: Well, I still think it's pointless.
Jeff: Would te prefer working on here da yourself?
Orion: No, I'd prefer doing what I'm supposed to do, and that is driving a train!
Jeff: Oh well.
---
Gordon: *Backs engine onto freight train* Okay everypony, te may load up the train now.
Workers: *Loading train with pizza ingredients*
Gordon: We need Musica for a working montage.
Workers: He's right. Get some music, now!
random Ponies: *Playing music*
Song: link
Gordon: Ah, *Sits back in chair* That's più like it.
Ponies: *Loading pizza ingredients onto train*
Engineer: *Pushing caboose onto freight train slowly*
Gordon: *Checking fuel gauge*
Ponies: *Finish loading pizza ingredients onto train*
Other Pony: *Connecting airbrakes from train onto caboose*
Conductor: *Climbs into caboose*
Gordon: *Grabs walkie talkie* Everything is all good in my end. How are things going on your end?
Conductor: Fine. We got all the ingredients, the caboose is on, and now we're waiting for a green signal.
Gordon: *Sees green signal* Signal is green, all aboard. *Blows horn twice, and drives train*
Conductor: I'm supposed to say that.
Gordon: Well, I made the job easier for you. *Continues driving train*
---
Coffee Crème, and Gordon were at the train station in Cheyenne. They were waiting for another train to arrive so that they could work together, but decided not to talk to each other.
Hawkeye: *Arrives* te know, I think te two could learn a very valuable lesson from all of this. Our first lesson is to not cheat on somepony that you're dating. We also learned to make sure that the brakes are working properly on an engine before te use it, and the most important thing we learned....
Gordon & Coffee Crème: What is it?
Hawkeye: It's not good to be covered up in pomodoro sauce, pepperoni, and cheese.
Coffee Crème: *Laughing*
Gordon: Why is that funny?
Coffee Crème: I don't know.. It's just.. It's just... *Continues laughing*
Gordon: Funny. *Laughing*
Hawkeye: *Laughing*
Episode 48
Pete was signing papers in his office, when Metal Gloss knocked on the door.
Pete: Come in.
Metal Gloss: *Enters office*
Pete: Hello Metal Gloss. What can I do for you?
Metal Gloss: A very good friend of mine is getting out of jail after ten years, and he wants to throw a party for himself in the station.
Pete: What did he get in jail for?
Metal Gloss: Take a guess.
Pete: I'm gonna say he got in jail for robbing a bank.
Metal Gloss: Nope.
Pete: Robbing a jewelry store?
Metal Gloss: Absolutely not.
Pete: Robbing a restaurant?
Metal Gloss: Who robs a restaurant?
Pete: Anypony that wants free food. What did he do?
Metal Gloss: He got framed for another pony stealing the police commissioner's car. He was only fifteen, and he was in school at the time the car was stolen, but the judge wouldn't listen.
Pete: Well, I'm glad for your friend that he's out of jail. I'll make the necessary arrangements for this to happen.
---
Pete: Enough chit chat, let's get this party started. *Turns on record player*
This is the song playing: link
Ponies: *Dancing with each other*
Zack: *Sees Hawkeye, and Metal Gloss dancing, and walks up to the both of them* ciao Metal Gloss.. When you're done, can I talk to you?
Metal Gloss: te can talk to me now. Is that okay Pierce?
Hawkeye: Sure, go ahead. *Walks to get punch*
Zack & Metal Gloss: *Walk outside of station*
Metal Gloss: What's the matter? te look sad.
Zack: I wanted to get a job here, but they detto I couldn't because of my criminal record.
Metal Gloss: That's not fair!
Zack: I know it's not fair, but they won't listen to me.
Metal Gloss: Alright, I'll tell te what. When I'm not busy, te can come here, and we can talk, and have conversations.
Zack: Yeah, okay. Thank you, I appreciate it.
Mirage: *Brings passenger train into station*
Zack: Who was that pony driving the train?
Metal Gloss: That's our newest worker, Nocturnal Mirage. He came all the way from Hungary to work for us.
Zack: He's Hungarian? Cool.
Mirage: *Stops train at station*
Jeff: *Walks off train* Come on Metal Gloss! Stop talking when there's work to be done!
Metal Gloss: Will te excuse me for a minute?
Zack: Sure.
Metal Gloss: *Runs to Jeff* Zack, and I are very good friends, and te two have something in common te know.
Jeff: We do? And what would that be?
Metal Gloss: Jail.
Jeff: *Gasps* Don't mention that word! It makes my legs wobble!
Metal Gloss: It does the same to Zack. He got framed for stealing the police commissioner's car. Now he's trying to work for us, but he can't because of his criminal record. Even so, it's time that we get another pony to help us. Pete needs to hire another pony as an engineer.
Jeff: Yes he does, and quickly.
---
Jeff: Who's there?
Mare: *Looks up* Do te work for the Union Pacific?
Jeff: Yeah, and I'm proud of it.
Mare: Well I'm Nicole. My special somepony named Ike is with me in this locomotive. We ran out of fuel, and we're trying to get away.
Jeff: But why are te here?
Nicole: We're escaping.
Jeff: From what?
Nicole: Jail.
Jeff: *Shivers* Wait a minute. Do te work for the Northern Pacific?
Nicole: I used too, but then I got fired. My boss threatened to kill me, so me, and my special somepony ha rubato, stola these two engines from them.
Jeff: Alright, I'll be glad to help. We gotta make it look like we're taking those engines away for scrap though.
Nicole: Got it.
Music: link
So they got to work. Jeff uncoupled his engines from the freight train, and left it in the siding, while he got his engines coupled up to Nicole's engines. While doing this, Ike was making markings on Nicole's engine, saying scrap.
Nicole: Don't te think it's dangerous to drive that train backwards?
Jeff: I don't have enough time to turn this thing around on a turntable, so here we go.
Nicole & Ian: *Climb into engine*
Jeff: *Drives backwards*
Railroad Police Pony: *Looking at train*
Dog: *Barking*
Railroad Police Pony: *Blows whistle*
Jeff: *Stops train*
Railroad Police Pony: A-ha! Caught ya trying to take two Northern Pacific diesels. te can't take those!
Jeff: But they're for the U.P. See for yourself.
Railroad Police Pony: *Looking around train* Alright, seems in order. Go ahead.
Jeff: *Drives away*
Nicole: *Looks out cab*
Jeff: *Shouting from his engine to Nicole's engine* Can te hear me?!
Nicole: Yeah!
Jeff: That was close!!!
Nicole: We had worse! I'll tell 'em to te when we get to where we're going.
And so, the three ponies continued on to Cheyenne, as the sun was rising.
Episode 49
One day, At Mirage's house, he was getting ready for work.
Mirage: *Breathing in fresh air, and looks all around him* Another beautiful day, and più time for me to work.
Colts: *Running to Mirage* Mister, we need your help!
Mirage: What's the matter?
Colts: Our bus is running late, and we need to get to school.
Mirage: Well, I suppose I could give te a ride, but successivo time, try not to talk to somepony te don't know. Get in.
Colts: *Gets in car*
Mirage: Stay there, I'll be back. *Goes to house, then gets on telephone* I gotta let Pete know that I'll be late for work. *Dialing Pete's number on phone*
Pete: *Signing papers in office, and picks up phone* Hello?
Mirage: Pete, something popped up, and I may be late for work.
Pete: Okay Mirage, get here when te can. Thanks for telling me. *Hangs up*
---
When Mirage got to work, he saw the same bus that passed him when he was giving the colts a ride to school. Nearby, were several ponies that just got off the bus. As Mirage was parking his car, the bus driver got out, and looked angry.
Mirage: *Gets out of car, and walks to station*
Bus Driver Pony: *Looks at Mirage*
Mirage: Good morning. Are te a new bus driver?
Bus Driver Pony: Yeah, and I think what I just did was dumb. If I knew I was bringing ponies to the train station, I might have crashed into a building!
Mirage: I'm glad te didn't. Our railway needs passengers, and we thank te for your assistance.
Bus Driver Pony: Lies! All lies! Buses will be the future of transportation. One day, all te ponies that work on railways will lose your job, and be homeless!
Mirage: That right there is a lie. Everypony here works their hardest.
Orion: *Runs out of station* Hey, Mirage, guess what!
Mirage: What?
Orion: I was this close to getting fired, but instead I got a three week suspension.
Mirage: Oh my god, what did te do this time?
Orion: I threw somepony's luggage onto the tracks, and a train ran it over. Well, I'm gonna enjoy my suspension! *Runs away*
Bus Driver Pony: te were saying?
Mirage: Okay, he's the only one that causes mayhem around here.
Gordon: AHHH! *Kicks pony out of station* Don't ever say that word in front of me again!
random Pony: But I just detto Moby Dick was a great book!
Gordon: Moby Dick is the worst book ever!! They should censor that word from the book, and everywhere in this world! *Walks to bus* Hey, get me to the bar. I need to get my daily dose of booze.
Bus Driver Pony: Get in. *Gets in bus*
Gordon: *Gets in bus*
Bus Driver Pony: *Drives away*
---
As Mirage was getting to a bridge on his train, he saw somepony waving a red flag. That meant danger.
Mirage: *Stops train*
Railway Pony: *Walks up to Mirage*
Mirage: What's wrong?
Railway Pony: I understand that you've been racing a bus to Denver.
Mirage: Yeah, where is he?
Railway Pony: Look no further. He's under the bridge, and got his bus stuck under.
Mirage: Oh boy.
Bus Ponies: We want our money back!
Bus pony 35: That culo hat lied to us, and detto he'd take us to another station to catch another train!
Bus pony 13: Then he tried getting us to Denver da himself.
Bus pony 6: The bus sucks. We're getting on the train.
Kurt: No you're not! How was I supposed to know that this bus was too big to go under the bridge?!
Bus Ponies: *Walk pass Kurt, and gets onto train*
Mirage: Well, looks like I got più passengers for my train.
Railway Pony: *Looks at bridge* It's risky, so go as slow as possible.
Mirage: Right. *Walks back to engine, and climbs into cab*
Kurt: Wait, what's he doing?
Railway Pony: Just wait, and see.
Mirage: *Drives slowly over bridge*
Kurt: Is he- is he going over?!
Railway Pony: Yep.
Mirage: *Getting train over bridge*
Kurt: *Looking at bus stuck under bridge* STOP!! YOU'LL CRUSH MY BUS!!
Railway Pony: It's not going anywhere. Relax.
Mirage: *Gets entire train over bridge*
Episode 50
Several miles north of Portland
January 5, 1951
Nicole: *Driving train through snow* There's not a lot so far, but when we start going uphill, we'll have to plow a lot of snow off the line.
Aurora: Casey Jones would have a hard time doing this if he was told to. *Shovels coal into firebox*
Nicole: Keep doing your best Aurora.
Aurora: Hey, when I was on the N&W, we had this great idea to keep ourselves occupied.
Nicole: What was it?
Aurora: We would sing songs. This one te have to speak russian.
Nicole: Oh, I know that language very well.
Aurora: Good. te ready to sing?
Nicole: Yes.
Song: link
più snow is on the tracks in front of them, but they continue working as they sing.
Nicole: Rastsvetali iabloni i grushi, Poplyli tumany nad rekoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj.
Aurora: Vykhodila, pesniu zavodila, Pro stepnogo, sizogo orla.
Nicole & Aurora: Pro togo, kotorogo liubila, Pro togo, chi pisma beregla. Pro togo, kotorogo liubila, Pro togo, chi pisma beregla. Oj ty, pesnia, pesenka devichia, Ty leti za iasnym solntsem vsled. I bojtsu na dalnem pograniche
Ot Katyushi peredaj privet. I bojtsu na dalnem pograniche Ot Katyushi peredaj privet.
The train starts to go uphill, and più snow is in the way, but their train does not slow down.
Nicole: Pust on vspomnit devushku prostuiu.
Aurora: Pust uslyshit, kak ona poet.
Nicole & Aurora: Pust on zemliu berezhet rodnuiu, A liubov Katyusha sberezhet. Pust on zemliu berezhet rodnuiu, A liubov Katyusha sberezhet.
Aurora: Rastsvetali iabloni i grushi.
Nicole: Poplyli tumany nad rekoj.
Nicole & Aurora: Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj. Vykhodila na bereg Katyusha, Na vysokij bereg na krutoj.
Their train made it to the superiore, in alto of the hill, and they reached Seattle on time.
---
The successivo day, Nicole was assigned to drive a freight train to Denver. When she got back, she was waiting at the trainstation so that she could drive a passenger train to North Platte Neighbraska.
Nicole: *Sitting on bench*
Mirage: *Arrives with Percy, and Jeff*
Pete: *On loudspeaker* Attention, the successivo passenger train will arrive in five minutes, bound for North Platte.
Mirage: Nicole, may we have a word with you?
Nicole: All three of you?
Percy: What we have to tell te is very important.
Nicole: Okay, what word do te want from me?
Mirage: Intelligence. We just heard that some ponies in the mafia are set up at Archer Hill.
Percy: And since you're driving a train to North Platte, you'll have to pass those gangsters.
Nicole: te think I can't deal with the mafia. Coffee Creme knows better. She says I'm sagacious.
Mirage: te maybe, good gracious, but-
Jeff: Don't say anymore Mirage. It's quite unfortunate, but this young mare will have to learn for herself.
Nicole: Oh, te think it's because of my age that I won't be able to handle a bunch of wise guys.
Mirage: Well, young ponies do tend to make a lot of mistakes.
Nicole: You're younger than me Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, but I learn from Hawkeye. He's an expert on railroading, and I'd listen to him if I were you.
Nicole: I've gone through many adventures before. I can deal with the gangsters.
Jeff: *Sees passenger train* Well, your train is coming up Nicole. Good luck.
Percy: Yeah, you're gonna need it.
Engineer Pony: *Stops train, then hops out of engine*
Nicole: No I won't. *Walks to engine, and climbs in*
Mirage: How long do te think she's gonna survive?
Percy: Not that long.
Jeff: When I rescued her from the Northern Pacific, I thought she would have più common sense, but I think she Lost it all.
Mirage: te think it's from being in so many adventures?
Jeff: Not only that, but the fact that she got fired, just made her lose her mind. I've seen some ponies act like that before.
Percy: I hope she comes to her senses.
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Nicole: *Blows horn twice, and drives train out of station*
Mirage: Well, nothing we can do about it now. Let's get back to work.
---
So the gangsters took all of the money from the passengers. When they left, Mirage arrived in one of the trucks owned da the Railroad.
Mirage: *Stops truck da train*
Nicole: *Gets out of train*
Mirage: Hello Nicole. Are te being a good gracious pony? With all due respect, we don't like having any of our trains derailed. Pete's not going to be happy about this, but Percy, and Jeff will be most annoyed. Good bye. *Gets back in truck, and drives away*
Nicole: *Too ashamed to say anything*
Percy & Jeff: *Arrives in inspection cart*
Pete: *With Percy, and Jeff* te don't know how to deal with gangsters, do you?
Nicole: Well how is anypony supposed to deal with gangsters throwing grenades at you?
Pete: There was a gun in the cab of your engine.
Nicole: There was? Where?
Pete: Under the seat. We only use them to fight against the mafia.
The End.
Season 6 will begin in less than two weeks.
Rainbow Dash is in the air wondering why the other mane five are situated at Blue Bolt's front door. And it was quite sunny outside!
Peckish
Blue Bolt, the newest resident of Ponyville
