After getting the crowd to laugh from jokes about monkey pox, Tom waited a few secondi for everyone to settle down. He continued with più material.
Tom: So I offered to buy lunch for my mom a few days fa at a shopping mall, but she detto no. I think she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, because when I was a colt, I was a fussy eater.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's fussy! He's a fussy eater! Fussy eater is a euphemism for biiiiiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean if I didn't like something, I told them. I didn't play with my food, I simply detto I don't like that!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: te make this? I don't like it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? They wanted reasons.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well te don't always have a reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't know. I know I don't like it. And I know if I ate it, I would like it even less.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te like it? te eat it!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Then they try to corner te with logic. How do te know te won't like it? If you've never even tried.....it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It came to me in a dream!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Biiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Clapping, and whistling*
Tom: Some things I didn't like because of the sounds of the food. To this day, I still cannot eat.....Yogurt.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yo-yogurt. It sounds like it's coming up again.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yogurt. Yogurt. I can't eat anything with a Y, and a G in it.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't sound good. Squash!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te WANT SOME SQUASH?!?!?!?!?!?
Crowd: *Laughing and clapping*
Tom: Shit no! It sounds like someone sat on my dinner.
A few secondi of laughter occurred as Tom continued naming foods.
Tom: Succotash. Want some succotash? What te call me fucker?!? Oohlaheeoh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, hey, cool out. It's just lima beans, and corn, cool out.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Wheatgerm. *Goes cross-eyed while making a scary face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: No! Get it off my plate!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Even something, like. Eggplant!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well which one is it anyway?! Tell it to make up it's mind, then come back!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Terrible sounding food. Headcheese.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUHHHH!! *Slowly walks to the right* UUHHHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: UUUHHHHHH!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't even look at the sign!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll be down at the baloney. te look at it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Between headcheese, and blood tongue, I may never eat again!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Certainly won't be at the deli. Then there are some foods that are too humorous to eat.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Did te ever hear something too funny to eat? Guacamole!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It sounds like something te wear to a dance. May I borrow your green guacamole?
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: Garbanzo. ciao te want some garbanzos?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Sounds like a circus act, fillies and gentlecolts, the garbanzos!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Clapping could also be heard, but when it settled down, Tom mentioned the successivo food.
Tom: And the funniest Cibo of them all. Kumquats.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't even bring 'em home anymore! They just go to waste.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some things just don't look right. I don't like that ma. Don't look right to me. Did te make that? Is there a picture of it in the cookbook?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll bet it don't look like that.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Let's face it, some things don't look right! But of course some ponies will eat anything. I saw a few ponies in the army at the chow line. What's this?! Never mind! Give me a whole lot of it!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: That's rat's asshole Don.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well it certainly makes a fucking good fondue!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't look right, I don't eat anything I don't recognize immediately. If I have to ask questions, fuck it. I'll pass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Tomatoes don't look right either. On the outside, they're fine. Tomatoes look lovely on the outside, but when te take a look on the inside, something is wrong. Something has gone afoul inside of a tomato.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It doesn't look right! It doesn't look like it's finished for one thing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It looks like it's in the larval stage of something.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's a thousand seeds and a whole bunch of gelatina looking stuff! Uuuughh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sticks his tongue out while closing his eyes* Uuuuughgh!! Ullullululuuughhh!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Get it off my plate. Ullulllullugh! Squishy, it's like that stuff on the end of an egg. Bluugh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUGHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: And I know it's not the end of an egg, it's the beginning of a chicken!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It's handcum! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Get it off my plate!!!
One of the crowd members can be seen laughing while clapping.
Tom: It don't look right!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't look right for food. Lobsters and crabs.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean anything, coming at me. *Intimidates a granchio while walking on his back legs*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Walking sideways. With big pinchers. Somehow doesn't make me hungry.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: In fact my instinct is step on that fuck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look at the big bug, step on the big bug!!! Before he gets to the children.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they mean business. Can't order frog's legs. Can't help but wonder, what did they do to the rest of the frog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: What do they do? Give 'em crutches, and wheelchairs?
Tom then impersonated someone in a wheelchair while the audience clapped, and laughed.
Tom: Try. Try to return them to a normal life if te can.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Trouble is the, crutches for froggies program has been. Cut in half.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: We probably also won't see them in wheelchairs anytime soon.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'd rather eat a box of cookies. Doesn't that always come in handy? Just eat a box of goddamn cookies. te ever do that? The whole box of biscotti, cookie right in a row. I don't mean take them out, I mean eat them in the kitchen. Standing right in the cucina eating a whole box of goddamn cookies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just stare at the electric clock while you're eating those cookies.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Do te ever notice on the box, it says open here?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well what the fuck do they think you're gonna do? sposta to Beijing just to open their box of cookies?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Of course you're going to open them here, you're going to eat them here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te almost, have to open them here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank god it doesn't say, open somewhere else.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Shit I'd be up all night trying to find a good location.
Crowd: *Laughing*
2 B Continued
Tom: So I offered to buy lunch for my mom a few days fa at a shopping mall, but she detto no. I think she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, because when I was a colt, I was a fussy eater.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's fussy! He's a fussy eater! Fussy eater is a euphemism for biiiiiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean if I didn't like something, I told them. I didn't play with my food, I simply detto I don't like that!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: te make this? I don't like it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? They wanted reasons.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well te don't always have a reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't know. I know I don't like it. And I know if I ate it, I would like it even less.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te like it? te eat it!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Then they try to corner te with logic. How do te know te won't like it? If you've never even tried.....it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It came to me in a dream!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Biiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Clapping, and whistling*
Tom: Some things I didn't like because of the sounds of the food. To this day, I still cannot eat.....Yogurt.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yo-yogurt. It sounds like it's coming up again.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yogurt. Yogurt. I can't eat anything with a Y, and a G in it.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't sound good. Squash!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te WANT SOME SQUASH?!?!?!?!?!?
Crowd: *Laughing and clapping*
Tom: Shit no! It sounds like someone sat on my dinner.
A few secondi of laughter occurred as Tom continued naming foods.
Tom: Succotash. Want some succotash? What te call me fucker?!? Oohlaheeoh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, hey, cool out. It's just lima beans, and corn, cool out.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Wheatgerm. *Goes cross-eyed while making a scary face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: No! Get it off my plate!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Even something, like. Eggplant!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well which one is it anyway?! Tell it to make up it's mind, then come back!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Terrible sounding food. Headcheese.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUHHHH!! *Slowly walks to the right* UUHHHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: UUUHHHHHH!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't even look at the sign!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll be down at the baloney. te look at it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Between headcheese, and blood tongue, I may never eat again!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Certainly won't be at the deli. Then there are some foods that are too humorous to eat.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Did te ever hear something too funny to eat? Guacamole!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It sounds like something te wear to a dance. May I borrow your green guacamole?
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: Garbanzo. ciao te want some garbanzos?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Sounds like a circus act, fillies and gentlecolts, the garbanzos!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Clapping could also be heard, but when it settled down, Tom mentioned the successivo food.
Tom: And the funniest Cibo of them all. Kumquats.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't even bring 'em home anymore! They just go to waste.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some things just don't look right. I don't like that ma. Don't look right to me. Did te make that? Is there a picture of it in the cookbook?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll bet it don't look like that.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Let's face it, some things don't look right! But of course some ponies will eat anything. I saw a few ponies in the army at the chow line. What's this?! Never mind! Give me a whole lot of it!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: That's rat's asshole Don.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well it certainly makes a fucking good fondue!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't look right, I don't eat anything I don't recognize immediately. If I have to ask questions, fuck it. I'll pass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Tomatoes don't look right either. On the outside, they're fine. Tomatoes look lovely on the outside, but when te take a look on the inside, something is wrong. Something has gone afoul inside of a tomato.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It doesn't look right! It doesn't look like it's finished for one thing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It looks like it's in the larval stage of something.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's a thousand seeds and a whole bunch of gelatina looking stuff! Uuuughh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sticks his tongue out while closing his eyes* Uuuuughgh!! Ullullululuuughhh!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Get it off my plate. Ullulllullugh! Squishy, it's like that stuff on the end of an egg. Bluugh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUGHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: And I know it's not the end of an egg, it's the beginning of a chicken!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It's handcum! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Get it off my plate!!!
One of the crowd members can be seen laughing while clapping.
Tom: It don't look right!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't look right for food. Lobsters and crabs.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean anything, coming at me. *Intimidates a granchio while walking on his back legs*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Walking sideways. With big pinchers. Somehow doesn't make me hungry.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: In fact my instinct is step on that fuck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look at the big bug, step on the big bug!!! Before he gets to the children.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they mean business. Can't order frog's legs. Can't help but wonder, what did they do to the rest of the frog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: What do they do? Give 'em crutches, and wheelchairs?
Tom then impersonated someone in a wheelchair while the audience clapped, and laughed.
Tom: Try. Try to return them to a normal life if te can.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Trouble is the, crutches for froggies program has been. Cut in half.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: We probably also won't see them in wheelchairs anytime soon.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'd rather eat a box of cookies. Doesn't that always come in handy? Just eat a box of goddamn cookies. te ever do that? The whole box of biscotti, cookie right in a row. I don't mean take them out, I mean eat them in the kitchen. Standing right in the cucina eating a whole box of goddamn cookies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just stare at the electric clock while you're eating those cookies.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Do te ever notice on the box, it says open here?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well what the fuck do they think you're gonna do? sposta to Beijing just to open their box of cookies?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Of course you're going to open them here, you're going to eat them here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: te almost, have to open them here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank god it doesn't say, open somewhere else.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Shit I'd be up all night trying to find a good location.
Crowd: *Laughing*
2 B Continued
This isn't a very long chapter, but it's all got for it..
Ditto and the fellow guards he's taking are gearing up for the trip to Ponyville..
Ditto: Alrighty Luny.. Thanks for wishing me luck.
Luna: Yeah. Well. I know be kinda hard on you, but in the end I like your company..
Ditto: Say.. If I bring him back alive. Maybe te can finally go out with me!?
Luna: Oh.. I'm sorry hon. But I'm busy..
Ditto: But that's what te ALWAYS say!?
Luna: We both know how it went last time.
Ditto: I matured.. Mostly.
Luna: (starts leaving) I can't. Sorry.
Ditto: Well.. Can I at least think of te in the shower?
Luna: (off view) Noo!!
Ditto: ........ Well I'm still gonna.
TO BE CONTAINUED
Ditto and the fellow guards he's taking are gearing up for the trip to Ponyville..
Ditto: Alrighty Luny.. Thanks for wishing me luck.
Luna: Yeah. Well. I know be kinda hard on you, but in the end I like your company..
Ditto: Say.. If I bring him back alive. Maybe te can finally go out with me!?
Luna: Oh.. I'm sorry hon. But I'm busy..
Ditto: But that's what te ALWAYS say!?
Luna: We both know how it went last time.
Ditto: I matured.. Mostly.
Luna: (starts leaving) I can't. Sorry.
Ditto: Well.. Can I at least think of te in the shower?
Luna: (off view) Noo!!
Ditto: ........ Well I'm still gonna.
TO BE CONTAINUED
acero looked out at the tavolo and saw an amazing breakfast. "Buttered...was this you?" acero asked, and she looked where Buttered always was when the family woke up. But he wasn't there. acero looked where Gummy was, right da her, but she wasn't there either. "Buttered? Gummy?" acero asked. She looked around and then the cucina caught on fire. acero gasped and stumbled back. A sword appeared in her hoof. She stood up to start fighting whoever had caused this. She gulped. She didn't know if she was ready for...this. A firey figure popped out and then everything went black. o at least, for Maple.