It was a beautiful giorno in Equestria. arcobaleno Dash, Applejack, and Rarity were sitting at a restaurant having lunch.

Applejack: Well, thanks te two for helping out at my farm.
arcobaleno Dash: No problem.
Rarity: There was no problem for me either, except for...
Applejack: Yes?
Rarity: Dirt.
arcobaleno Dash: That's nothing to worry about. Besides, if te get it on you, te can just wash it off.
Applejack: I'm surprised te didn't wear that farming outfit te made when Trenderhoof was visiting.
Rarity: Oh yeah, about that...

Yesterday at Carousel Botique

Sweetie Belle: *Wearing Rarity's farming outfit* Howdy y'all. I'm Rarity, and I'm gonna pretend to be a farmer just to impress this stallion!
Applebloom & Scootaloo: *Laughing*
Sweetie Belle: te know, it's actually not easy to see in this thing. I got a better idea. Let's modify it so that it will fit us!

Back at the lunch.

Rarity: And while they were making it shorter, Sweetie Belle somehow ended up setting it on fire.
Applejack: How is that possible?
arcobaleno Dash: Fireplace?
Rarity: Fireplace.
Gilda: *Arrives* ciao arcobaleno Crash. Still hanging out with these lame ponies?
arcobaleno Dash: They're not lame! They're my friends.
Rarity: And her name is arcobaleno Dash.
Gilda: Whatever. I ha rubato, stola $1,000,000 from this rich stallion in Vanhoover, and got this awesome gem. The owner detto it had some power, but I don't know what it does. Shall I try it out on you?
arcobaleno Dash: No.
Gilda: Fine. I'll try it out on the three of te then. *Uses magic gem*

The gem teleported them into a grassy field. Nothing could be seen except for a faraway mountain, and some trees.

Gilda: Wait a minute.
Applejack: What the hay? *Looking around* Where are we?
Gilda: I don't know. This thing just ended up-

All of a sudden, a message started appearing into the ground.

The user of this gem has challenged te to a war. If te defeat the user, te may go home.

Gilda: Oh, so that's what it does.
Rarity: te never knew that until now?
Gilda: Well, the owner barely told me anything about the gem!

Two days ago.

Store owner: Remember, this gem can teleport you, and your enemies to any part of the past. The winner gets to go back into the present, but they have to kill their enemies first.

Now Gilda remembered.

Gilda: Oh. Looks like I remember now. We have to fight each other.
arcobaleno Dash: Fine with me.
British Soldiers: *Arrive* Halt. What are te four doing here?
Gilda: Umm....
British Soldier: te four are underarrest.

Theme song: link

So the four of them got arrested, and were on a ship in sea.

Gilda: Where are we going?
British Soldier: To the United States of Equestria.
Applejack: What anno is this?
British Soldier: 1745.
Rarity: te know what this means?
arcobaleno Dash: We're in medieval times.

STH Productions Presents

Just Be Me

Episode 1: The Three Maresketeers

Based off of the video da AgrolChannel on youtube.

Starring

arcobaleno Dash
applejack
and Rarity

Also starring

The ponies

Princess Celestia
Lord Burlington
Arhcer
Silver
Kan Can
Jerry
Pete
Applebloom
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo

Also starring the Griffons

Gilda
Max
Tomtom
Porter
Lucifer
McKing
And Mike

And stop the music.

Applejack, Gilda, arcobaleno Dash, and Rarity were brought into the docks of Ponyville on the ship they were put on.

British Soldier: Now don't come back to our country ever again te Equestrian scum.
Rarity: But I'm British too!
British Soldier: *Ignores Rarity* Let's go captain. We got everything we need.
British Captain: *Driving ship out of docks*
Jerry: *Sees Gilda* Griffon!!
Gilda: *Flies away*
Celestia's Soldiers: *Running towards Jerry*
Jerry: She's getting away.
arcobaleno Dash: What's going on?
Jerry: te didn't hear? The griffons have waged war against us ponies. Their kingdom is near ours, and we cannot allow them to take any peice of our territory.
Applejack: What happens if they do?
Jerry: We kill them.
Rarity: Nngh. Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this?
Applejack: *Slaps Rarity* No! We have to kill them.
Jerry: *Looking at Applejack* I like your style, but te ladies are not allowed to fight.
arcobaleno Dash, Applejack: What?!!?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't want to fight anyway.
Applejack: Are te saying that we're not allowed to fight due to our gender?!
arcobaleno Dash: I've dealt with many stereotypical situations, but this is crazy!
Jerry: I don't make the rules ma'am, te have to talk to Princess Celestia about this.
Applejack: Princess Celestia?
Rarity: She banished Princess Luna 800 years ago.
arcobaleno Dash: Oh, right. Take us to her please.
Jerry: If te insist.

So Jerry, and a few other soldiers took them to Celestia's castello in Canterlot.

Celestia: How dare those griffons attempt to attack us. They will realize their clumsy decision will give them nothing, but pain.
Soldier 24: Right-o your highness.
Jerry: *Arrives* Princess, visitors.
Celestia: What do they want to talk about?
arcobaleno Dash: Hi Celestia.
Celestia: Who are you?
arcobaleno Dash: te mean te don't remember?
Applejack: Take it easy Dash. I'm Applejack, this is arcobaleno Dash, and the white unicorn is Rarity.
Celestia: What do te want to talk about?
arcobaleno Dash: Why can't mares fight? You're a princess, te should be giving us equal rights.
Celestia: It is not my decision on who gets to fight, o not. te must talk to Lord Burlington.
Applejack: Jerry detto we had to talk to you.
Jerry: Uh.. I forgot?
Celestia: Take them to Lord Burlington.
Jerry: Yes your highness.
Rarity: Lord Burlington?
arcobaleno Dash: I wonder what he's like.

They were soon about to find out.

Lord Burlington: *Sitting in big red chair* What do those griffons have planned?
Pete: We don't know. They could do anything.
Lord Burlington: Then we must warn everypony immediately. If those griffons try to-
Jerry: *Enters room* Sir, three ponies want to talk to you.
Lord Burlington: What do te want?
arcobaleno Dash: The three of us want to fight in this war.
Lord Burlington: te three? *Laughing* This is an outrage. No mare is capable of fighting.
Rarity: He's right, so why don't we go home?
Lord Burlington: Yes. Go home, and get back to working where te belong.
Applejack: Oh yeah? *Grabs axe, and throws it at Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: *Ducks, and doesn't get hit from axe. He then sees that it has stuck to his chair* Okay, you're in.

In the Griffon Kingdom, Gilda was meeting other griffons in her army.

Gilda: *Walks into castle* Hello?
Tomtom: Another griffon has arrived sir.
McKing: Ah, hello madam. What can I do for you?
Gilda: I need to unisciti your army in order to defeat the ponies.
McKing: Well, I don't think that's possible. te see-
Gilda: *Choking McKing* Let me join, o else.
McKing: *Coughing* Okay.
Gilda: That's più like it.
McKing: Meet some of my trusted soldiers. Over there is Tomtom.
Tomtom: Hi!
McKing: Over here is Max.
Max: Good giorno to te ma'am.
McKing: Porter.
Porter: Hello.
Gilda: Aren't te a little too fat to be in an army?
Porter: No, that's just so that it'll be difficult for any arrows to kill me. My stomach is so big, that it just reflects every Arrow shot towards me.
Gilda: I don't believe you.
Porter: Fine. *Stands up against wall*
Tomtom: *Gives Gilda a bow & arrow*
Porter: Now shoot my stomach.
Gilda: If te say so. *Shoots arrow*

The Arrow bounced right off of Porter's stomach.

Porter: Need I say more?
Gilda: No. You've convinced me.
McKing: Now if you're done shooting arrows at Porter's stomach, there are two others I want te to meet. Lucifer, who is an expert on cannons.
Lucifer: Right-o. If te need to know anything about a cannon, ask me.
Gilda: Sure.
McKing: And last, but not least is Mike.
Mike: Hey!
Gilda: Nice to meet you.
Mike: *Holding a toy tommy gun* I'm going to kill you.
McKing: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you, that thing will never work. Nopony would ever want this so called weapon.
Mike: Maybe not now, but they will within two hundred years from now.
McKing: Anything te say Mike.

After arcobaleno Dash, Applejack, and Rarity joined Lord Burlington's army, they went to meet other soldiers.

Lord Burlington: What are te going to do when we start attacking.
arcobaleno Dash: Just being me.
Applejack: Yup. Same here.
Rarity: Me too.
Lord Burlington: What's that supposed to mean?
arcobaleno Dash: You'll see when we start fighting.
Lord Burlington: Something tells me I don't want to see.
Applejack: We promise, having us in your army will be the greatest decision te ever made.
Lord Burlington: Why do I find that hard to believe. Well, here's a few of our soldiers te haven't met. Archer here is very skilled with a bow & arrow.
Archer: Nice to meet te three. I hope te don't plan on joining us anytime soon.
Lord Burlington: Easy Lieutenant. te won't be happy with what the arancia, arancio one plans on doing to te if te keep criticizing them about being here to help us stop those griffons.
Archer: Sorry sir. Anyway, my name is Archer. If te want to know anything about using a bow & arrow, come to me.
arcobaleno Dash: Sure. *Sees golden arrows* That looks awesome.
Archer: te like that? I'll make some for te if you'd like.
arcobaleno Dash: Yeah.
Applejack: *Sees Archer's eyes* How did your eyes become like that?
Archer: Long story, but to make it short, I killed a changeling when it bit my leg.
Lord Burlington: Okay ladies, follow me this way.
arcobaleno Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: *Following Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: We have another expert named Silver. He's an expert on armor.
Rarity: *Giggling*
Lord Burlington: What's so funny?
Rarity: I have a friend who has a brother named Shining Armor.
Lord Burlington: That sounds like a stupid name. Hopefully, he doesn't get married to a princess.
Silver: *Walks over* The expert on armor that the lord was talking about is me.
Rarity: *Falling in Amore with Silver*
Applejack: Uh oh.
arcobaleno Dash: te remember what happened last time Rarity fell in Amore with a stallion?
Applejack: Ngh. Don't remind me. She did the same thing to Big Macintosh.
arcobaleno Dash: Ew.
Rarity: I heard te two!
Lord Burlington: Ladies, follow me.

The four of them went to see the expert on cannons, Kan Can.

Lord Burlington: Kan Can, stop working on that blasted weapon, and come to me.
Kan Can: *Under a cannon* Sorry sir, unfortunately, I got something in my eyes while working on this thing, and I can't see.
Lord Burlington: Just follow my voice.
Kan Can: Okay. *Bangs head on cannon*
Lord Burlington: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little... Clumsy.
arcobaleno Dash: And te thought we wouldn't be good soldiers.
Applejack: *Notices that Kan Can has no tail* I don't trust him.
Rarity: Whyever not?
Applejack: He has no tail. Never trus-
arcobaleno Dash: *Covers Applejack's mouth* Okay, remember what happened last time te detto that?
Applejack: I Lost my tail, and everypony made fun of me. Nopony ever lets me forget that.
Lord Burlington: And that's it. Welcome, and I hope te three enjoy working in my army.

But Rarity was still annoyed about arcobaleno Dash, and applejack with talking about her behind her back. She had plans to find out why they did so.

That night, while everypony was asleep, Rarity was thinking about how to find out why arcobaleno Dash, and applejack were talking about her behind her back.

Rarity: Hmm, I can't think of anything. They just talked about me falling in Amore with Sliver, and probably... doing Rule 34 related stuff to him, but I don't care, that's just me. Wait a minute, I got it! They think I'm a Rule 34 addict, and that's why they were talking behind my back. *Goes out of her room to find arcobaleno Dash, and Applejack*

successivo morning, Princess Celestia was having breakfast, when Lord Burlington arrived.

Lord Burlington: Princess, those three mares are not here.
Celestia: What do te mean?
Lord Burlington: They left! I knew they weren't good enough to be in this army.
Celestia: Perhaps they left to get più supplies.

But they didn't. While arcobaleno Dash, and applejack were sleeping, Rarity kidnapped them, and put them in a nearby tower.

arcobaleno Dash: *Wakes up* I'm feeling happy today, and- *Notices she's in a bag with Applejack* AJ? Wake up!
Applejack: *Wakes up* Is it time to collect apples? I'm on it Big Mac.
arcobaleno Dash: No! It's me arcobaleno Dash. We're stuck together in a bag, and I don't know why.
Applejack: *Realizes she is in a terrible situation* Why are we in a bag?
Rarity: Because I put te in there.
arcobaleno Dash: Why?
Rarity: Because te detto bad things about me behind my back. What were they?
Applejack: It was nothing.
arcobaleno Dash: We were just talking about how te were going to mas-
Applejack: *Slaps arcobaleno Dash* Not here. We'll get punished for saying things like that.
arcobaleno Dash: Then let's get out of here.
Applejack: But we have to kill Gilda first.
arcobaleno Dash: Why don't we kill Rarity first?
Applejack: Well. Now that te think about it...
Rarity: oh no.
Applejack: She did tie us up into this bag for no reason, so let's kill her.
Rarity: No! *Teleports from tower to ground*

The other two ponies got out of the bag, and looked for Rarity.

arcobaleno Dash: She's gone.
Applejack: It's all your fault!
arcobaleno Dash: My fault? I was literally the only one trying to get us out!
Applejack: I helped!
arcobaleno Dash: Barely! *Flies out of tower, and goes to another tower*
Rarity: arcobaleno Dash, what are te doing?
Applejack: *Shoots Arrow at arcobaleno Dash*

The Arrow hit the wall, and was stuck between two bricks.

arcobaleno Dash: Nice try Applejackass! *Shoots cannone at Applejack*
Applejack: *Ducks* te missed!
Rarity: I must stop them. *Sees another tower, then runs into it* I must stop them before they kill each other.

arcobaleno Dash, and applejack were now shooting flaming arrows at each other.

arcobaleno Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
arcobaleno Dash: Stop making your Arrow hit my arrow!
Applejack: I will when te stop!
arcobaleno Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
Rarity: *Gets to the superiore, in alto of her tower, and sees fight* They're not even hitting each other. *Grabs cannon*
arcobaleno Dash: Hey, Rarity's pointing a cannone at us!
Applejack: Us? She's pointing it at me! *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny fork* A few more, and then I can have a lovely dinner.
arcobaleno Dash: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny spoon* One più Arrow please. I insist!
arcobaleno Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity at the same time*
Rarity: *Stops both arrows, and turns both of them into a shiny plate* Are te finished?

And so, they stopped fighting, and walked back to Celestia's castle.

After arcobaleno Dash, Applejack, and Rarity fought each other, they went back to Celestia's castle.

Celestia: What happened?
Lord Burlington: Where did te three go?
arcobaleno Dash: Rarity kidnapped us for no reason.
Rarity: My reason, was because te were talking about me behind my back.
Applejack: That's a dumb reason.
Lord Burlington: I agree with the arancia, arancio one.
Rarity: Why? Doesn't anyone agree with me?
Applejack: te planned on doing something horrible to Silver.
Lord Burlington: What did she have planned?
Rarity: Nothing.
arcobaleno Dash: Oh te had something planned alright. What was it?
Rarity: Nnnnhhhh. Something related to innapropriate material that isn't allowed to be mentioned, but is being mentioned anyway, because I'm a Sex Addict!

Celestia, and Lord Burlington's mouth dropped open, and fell on the floor.

Rarity: Oh shit.
Celestia: She's a sex addict?
arcobaleno Dash: We prefer the term rule 34. Now, let us talk to Rarity alone.
Celestia, & Lord Burlington: *Leaving the room*
Applejack: Okay, they're gone.
arcobaleno Dash: What the fuck were te thinking?
Rarity: I was nervous!
Applejack: Don't te realize that they could execute te for being addicted to sex?
Rarity: No. *Thinking* Oh, right. We're in mideival times.
arcobaleno Dash: And we're stuck in mideival times, until we kill Gilda. Now, we can't do that if te get us executed for being a rule 34 addict.
Rarity: I'm the one being executed, not you.
Applejack: Let's just get this over with.
Celestia: *Returns* I heard the entire conversation.
arcobaleno Dash: te did?
Applejack: But te were-
Celestia: In another room with Lord Burlington, yes I know. So you're from the future, and can't get back there until te kill this griffon named Gilda. Is that correct?
arcobaleno Dash: Yeah.
Celestia: Then I will explain everything to Lord Burlington, and the both of us will help.
Rarity: Thank you.
Celestia: No problem.

Things seemed to be getting easier for Applejack, arcobaleno Dash, and Rarity. But the fight was about to start soon.

Everypony at Celestia's castello was ready for the fight, as the Griffons were getting close to attacking them.

Lord Burlington: Get the cannons ready!
Celestia: Get the cannons ready.
Kan Can: Get the cannons ready. *Getting cannone ready, but accidentally falls off of the castle*
Lord Burlington: Anymore clumsy ponies like him, and we'll never win.
arcobaleno Dash: At least te got us.
Lord Burlington: Yeah. What was it te three detto te were going to do to win this war?
arcobaleno Dash: Just.
Applejack: Be.
Rarity: Me.
Gilda: Load up the catapults!
Griffons: *Loading up catapults*
Archer: They're loading the catapults sir.
Lord Burlington: fuoco the cannons!
Ponies: *Shooting cannons*
Griffons: They're firing cannons at us!
Gilda: Shoot those rocks at them.
Griffons: *Shooting rocks with catapults*

Some of the rocks were hitting some of the bombs shot da cannons, and a few mid air explosions occurred.

Archer: With your permission, my archery team will take them down.
Lord Burlington: Archers, ready.
Archer, and other ponies carrying bow & arrows: *Readying bows*
Lord Burlington: Aim.
Archery Ponies: *Pulling back arrows*
Lord Burlington: Fire!
Archery Ponies: *Firing arrows at griffons*
arcobaleno Dash: What about us?
Lord Burlington: te three must put on armor, get a sword, and shield.
Rarity: Are we... *Gulp* Fighting them out there?
Lord Burlington: Yes te are Miss. I Amore mas*****ting to stallions I barely know. Get out there.
Applejack: Let's do this.

So the three ponies went to get what they needed.

Griffon 4: *Gets killed da arrow*
Gilda: Use your shield te careless saps!
Griffons: She's right. Use the shields.
Tomtom: You're a good leader.
Gilda: Yeah, I know.
McKing: Ma'am, we're getting più casualties.
Gilda: How is this possible? We should be winning.
Tomtom: Maybe, because we're outnumbered.
McKing: Hey, you're right. Where's Mike?
Lucifer: I don't see him.

Mike was at their castle, modifying his toy tommy gun.

Mike: Yes. This is good. Now I'll mostra the others that I mean business with this. Look out everypony. *Grabs toy tommygun* I'm going to kill you.

Back at the battle.

arcobaleno Dash: This is gonna be so awesome.
Rarity: Awesome? We're going to die.
Applejack: No we're not. We're going to win.
arcobaleno Dash: Charge! *Charges towards Griffons*
applejack & Rarity: *Following arcobaleno Dash*
Gilda: There they are.
McKing: Shoot them.
Griffons: *Shooting arrows at arcobaleno Dash, Applejack, and Rarity* It's not working. Our arrows keep hitting their armor.
Porter: They're not even slowing down.
arcobaleno Dash: *Raises sword* Yeah!!
Gilda: Oh god.
arcobaleno Dash: *Stabs Porter's stomach*
Porter: *Feels sword hit stomach*
arcobaleno Dash: Wait a minute.. *Gets sent flying backwards due to the impact on Porter's stomach*
Porter: I told te it was a good thing to be fat.
Applejack: *Cuts Porter's head off with sword*
Gilda: Yeah. *Grabs sword* te ready to "Square dance" redneck?
Applejack: *Swings sword at Gilda*
Rarity: *Kills two griffons* I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so unladylike.
Gilda: *Continues swordfight with Applejack*
Applejack: *Kicks griffon, then jumps up in air*
Gilda: *Swings sword*
Applejack: *Blocks attack*
McKing: Tomtom, help Gilda defeat that arancia, arancio pony.
Tomtom: Yes sir.
arcobaleno Dash: *Returns, and kills Tomtom* Did te miss me?
Rarity: Yes.
Applejack: Practically. *Gets kicked da Gilda*
arcobaleno Dash: Hey! Nopony does that to my friend!
Gilda: What are te going to do about it?
arcobaleno Dash: Just be me.
Gilda: What?
arcobaleno Dash: *Hits Gilda with sword*
Lord Burlington: *Watching fight* This is great. Does anypony have popcorn?
Celestia: What is that?
Lord Burlington: It's... Never mind.

The fight continued, and Gilda was getting beat da arcobaleno Dash.

McKing: Can anypony help Gilda?
Gilda: Why can't te help me?
McKing: Because I have to give orders to the griffons killing those ponies.
Gilda: Well hurry up so that te can help me!
arcobaleno Dash: *Hits Gilda's wing*
Applejack: *Killing griffons*
Rarity: *Hiding under bridge* I shouldn't be fighting....
arcobaleno Dash: *Continues fighting Gilda*
Gilda: *Blocking attacks*
McKing: Max, how many soldiers do we have left?
Max: Only twelve.
McKing: Then cancella the attack on the castle. We must help Gilda.
Applejack: *Kills McKing*
Lucifer: Our boss is dead!
Max: But he wasn't our boss. It's Gilda.
Lucifer: Oh.

The sword fight was getting intense.

arcobaleno Dash: *Blocking Gilda's attacks*
Applejack: Need any help RD?
arcobaleno Dash: No, just keep those other griffons off my back.
Applejack: te got it. *Kills griffons*
Rarity: *Continues hiding under a bridge*
Applejack: Rarity, where are you?!
Rarity: *Stay silent*
Applejack: I think they killed her. She'll have to stay here for the rest of her life.
Rarity: *Comes out from under bridge* I'm here, don't leave without me!
Applejack: We weren't.
Gilda: *Punches arcobaleno Dash*
arcobaleno Dash: *Has her casco fall off* That can't be good.
Gilda: *Punches arcobaleno Dash again*
arcobaleno Dash: Oh! *Her nose starts to bleed*
Rarity: Leave Dashie alone!!
Applejack: Don't worry about her. She's gonna die if we don't kill the other griffons.
Rarity: Then in that case, Hya! *Using karate moves to attack griffons*
Applejack: Couldn't have detto it better myself.
arcobaleno Dash: *Pushing her sword against Gilda's*
Gilda: When are te going to give up?
arcobaleno Dash: I don't know what that means so I'll never do it. *Draws back sword quickly, then hits Gilda's back legs*
Gilda: Ah! *Falls on ground*
Applejack: *Kills the last griffon* Now, we need to kill Gilda.
arcobaleno Dash: With pleasure. *About to kill Gilda*
Gilda: *Closes her eyes*

Then, the sound of twenty bullets being shot from a tommygun could be heard.

Gilda: *Dies*
arcobaleno Dash: *Looks at Mike*
Mike: *Carrying toy tommygun, and looks at Gilda* I told ya I was going to kill you.
arcobaleno Dash: But this is 1745. pistole aren't supposed to exist yet.
Mike: But I killed Gilda.
Applejack: But, you're on the same side as her.
Mike: So? She didn't think this invention of mine would work.
Rarity; What are te going to call it?
Mike: Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll call it Thomas.
arcobaleno Dash: How about the Tommygun?
Mike: Hey, that's a brilliant idea.

Then all of a sudden, Rarity, arcobaleno Dash, and applejack started to be lifted slowly up into the air, and then they dissapeared.

Carousel Botique, August 8, 2014.

Rarity: *Appears with arcobaleno Dash, and Applejack*
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, where have te three been?
Rarity: Playing with my friends.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Applebloom, and Scootaloo went home already, so would te like to play with me?
Rarity: Of course darling.
arcobaleno Dash: Well, I guess there's no sense in us staying here anymore.
Applejack: Nope. *Leaves Carousel Botique with arcobaleno Dash*

The End

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