There's a reason why Shovel Knight is widely regarded as the best game of 2014, and here's why.
But first, since I'm più of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.
Shovel Knight started out as a project on the popolare website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....
*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*
This game, Shovel Knight.
Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays te had to do in a week when te were in elementary school.
Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.
The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the Musica is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.
Seriously, there's no way in hell that this game could've been on an actual NES. The system wasn't capable of auto-scrolling, 46 amazing songs that I could listen to all millennium, o a story mode as long as Shovel Knight's.
The story is that Shovel Knight and his extravagant buddy Shield Knight used to roam the lands, living young, wild, and free, (Don't lie, te don't get the reference.) When all of a sudden she disappears right the fuck out of nowhere and you've got to save her!
But to get to where she presumably is at the tower of fate, te must first beat up a giant intimidating group of baddies called "The Order Of No Quarter!"
te CAN'T HAVE MY QUARTERS ROBOT MASTER STEREOTYPES! >.<
Seriously though, the bosses each have awesome designs with funny personalities and I Amore each and every one of them.
Then there's the leader of the group, named the Enchantress. She's the annoying culo Blinky of the group, and easily the most powerful of the Order Of No Quarter.
Using a character that looks exactly like Boba Fett from stella, star Wars and Vile from Megaman X, te must use the shovel heard round the world to stop the baddies and save your girlfriend!
Seriously, the shovel in this game is so powerful it can break steel in two hits.
I WANT THAT SHOVEL.
The entire game is easy to learn, but so damn hard to master you'd have an easier time learning to twirl a conductor's baton on fuoco in a pool full of sharks.
Although each death is quite fair, as no time playing the game did I ever find me actually mad, and I never died because I thought the game was unfair either, so don't get the wrong idea o I'll swat te with a ski pole.
Every now and then you'll find a rare special item that te can use at any time as long as te have enough magic, including a fuoco rod, a giant exploding anchor, and a pair of gloves that can somehow control the boundaries of space, time, and gravity and punch, punzone through dust blocks in the air while flying until there's no più dirt bricks left to punch.
I WANT THOSE GLOVES.
In conclusion, this is a very fun game that's easily worth your money. And seeing as how there's SO much awesome DLC coming out soon you'd have an easier time counting the amount of mosquitos there are in a swarm of absolutely terrifying blood-drinking creatures, I think you'll absolutely Amore this game.
te probably won't Amore the swarm of mosquitos though, dear god.
FINAL SCORE: 9.5! This is one of the best games I've seen in decades.
But first, since I'm più of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.
Shovel Knight started out as a project on the popolare website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....
*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*
This game, Shovel Knight.
Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays te had to do in a week when te were in elementary school.
Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.
The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the Musica is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.
Seriously, there's no way in hell that this game could've been on an actual NES. The system wasn't capable of auto-scrolling, 46 amazing songs that I could listen to all millennium, o a story mode as long as Shovel Knight's.
The story is that Shovel Knight and his extravagant buddy Shield Knight used to roam the lands, living young, wild, and free, (Don't lie, te don't get the reference.) When all of a sudden she disappears right the fuck out of nowhere and you've got to save her!
But to get to where she presumably is at the tower of fate, te must first beat up a giant intimidating group of baddies called "The Order Of No Quarter!"
te CAN'T HAVE MY QUARTERS ROBOT MASTER STEREOTYPES! >.<
Seriously though, the bosses each have awesome designs with funny personalities and I Amore each and every one of them.
Then there's the leader of the group, named the Enchantress. She's the annoying culo Blinky of the group, and easily the most powerful of the Order Of No Quarter.
Using a character that looks exactly like Boba Fett from stella, star Wars and Vile from Megaman X, te must use the shovel heard round the world to stop the baddies and save your girlfriend!
Seriously, the shovel in this game is so powerful it can break steel in two hits.
I WANT THAT SHOVEL.
The entire game is easy to learn, but so damn hard to master you'd have an easier time learning to twirl a conductor's baton on fuoco in a pool full of sharks.
Although each death is quite fair, as no time playing the game did I ever find me actually mad, and I never died because I thought the game was unfair either, so don't get the wrong idea o I'll swat te with a ski pole.
Every now and then you'll find a rare special item that te can use at any time as long as te have enough magic, including a fuoco rod, a giant exploding anchor, and a pair of gloves that can somehow control the boundaries of space, time, and gravity and punch, punzone through dust blocks in the air while flying until there's no più dirt bricks left to punch.
I WANT THOSE GLOVES.
In conclusion, this is a very fun game that's easily worth your money. And seeing as how there's SO much awesome DLC coming out soon you'd have an easier time counting the amount of mosquitos there are in a swarm of absolutely terrifying blood-drinking creatures, I think you'll absolutely Amore this game.
te probably won't Amore the swarm of mosquitos though, dear god.
FINAL SCORE: 9.5! This is one of the best games I've seen in decades.
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the successivo on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't te take a sede, sedile and I will get te something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some Cibo with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the lista and removed his name from the superiore, in alto of the lista and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he detto to the guy, "Because te have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the lista ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much te try!!
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the successivo on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't te take a sede, sedile and I will get te something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some Cibo with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the lista and removed his name from the superiore, in alto of the lista and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he detto to the guy, "Because te have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the lista ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much te try!!
A stoner called the fuoco department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"
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I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D
I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)
I am me again. I Amore and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of te for the rest of my life :)
I Amore te all! Have a beautiful, wonderful giorno :D