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so, this started out as an email to my friend, but it just kept going on and on and on so i decided to write a book. what is this book about te might ask? well, since te asked, i shall tell te . this is a book about absolutely nothing. so i hope te enjoy.

oh and if you're in the middle of something, te should probably not read this, cos its really really really long. and this is just a preview!

This Is The Almighty, Great, Incredible Book Of Nothing‼‼

so i stayed home today and i made this big giant slide mostra like summarizing all the twilight libri and its rlly cool and has pics and everything...i was bored...heheh i tend to get a little obsessive when im bored....u know that too i guess......anywayzzz....zzzzzzz...jk ur not that boring.....maybe.....well i guess u are cos ur not even there so im basically just talking to myself right now only not out loud cos that would sound weird...im talking to myself in writing. i do that a lot, i guess that’s what the notebook's for kinda...cos even tho we read other ppls Scrivere when i write in their im just basically talking to myself on paper...only it makes it sound like im talking to u cos im giving it to u later, so it’s like ur Leggere what’s in my mind when ur Leggere the notebook...u don’t actually have to read any of this btw, im just taking my boredom out on u....well that’s what Friends r for i guess. Did jaide rlly get a hamster? Grt. frusturating. Neither jaide nor u is emailing me right now. And so that’s like everybody that i talk to except for Brenna, and she hasn’t emailed me in a long time. Huh. When im done w/this i.. email her. Ladidahdidah. Canto to myself...tsktsk what next? Maybe I’ll be talking to magnets before long...sorry I’ve been Leggere too many vampire books, im starting to memorize them. i just bought new moon yesterday cos my mo m and my sister are in California and my dad will buy me anything pretty much as long as it’s not too expensive...i really want the twilight movie to come out! It comes out on my sister's bday. And the fourth book breaking dawn comes out eight days before my bday!!! Yayayayayyayay! Whatever. U need to read that again so u can obsess w/me cos nobody is there to do that right now. i was just talking to Katie and i was trying to obsess to her but she hasn’t read them so it was kinda just obsessing to myself like im doing right now, cos i think ur computer's broken and u won’t get this for a long time, but when ur computers fixed u will have a very good long book to read...by me! Lol:) i rlly wanna write a book. I was Leggere this thing that Stephanie Meyer wrote about how she wrote twilight and she detto that she got the idea from a dream. She detto that she had a dream that was pretty much the scene in the meadow in twilight. So good news all i have to do is go to sleep and i can write a book! Only i kinda have trouble remembering my dreams lots of the time...u might have to help me with that....only i don’t see how u could. I wish i could read ppls minds. that would be cool...not for them but u get what i mean....or maybe u don’t i can’t really count on the fact that anyone would get what i mean...im pretty much just rambling on to nobody right now...only nobody happens to be you...whatever. I wish it was summer. I need the snow to go away. Snow sucks. Only sometimes it doesn’t but most of the time it does. Actually pretty much all of the time it does. U no forks is a real town in Washington. I think I’ll sposta there. u should unisciti me...actually uve already met a fork...mr bodle's fork! lOl. What’s it like in his stomach? I don’t think that he's a vampire. Cos he not pretty...at alllllll but i think he’s just extremely hungry all the time. Maybe Ur blood smells really good like Bella’s apparently does...i don’t like her. Shes annoying. Shes not very special at all. The only thing that’s special about her is the smell of her blood, and sometimes the smell of a person’s blood isn’t what te look for in a friend...maybe not to some ppl...but that’s just me. I like Jacob. Jacob is warm and fuzzy. And he reminds me of Daryl when he’s a wolf. Cos he smiles and laughs and stuff and Daryl smiles sometimes. .lol today max was eating a piece of pumpkin...emo dog! eating himself...what next?...prbly talking to magnets....if ur still Leggere this ur probably lost...and if not oh well, im preoccupied...jeez it took me like a minuto to type that word....i hate big words. lol ur probably pretty mad at this point cos i haven’t used capitalization and spelling o whatever at all in this email....oh no i have two math tests to make up now. The one from last Friday and the one from this Friday . And i haven’t finished the homework from Thursday o even started on that practice test for the final yet. Crap i have a lot to do. And yet im still Scrivere this....i don’t have any priorities right now...except for doing nothing, that’s always very high on my lista of priorities. Nothing is a good friend of mine. It always lets me do what i want to do...which is nothing. Grt. i wish that Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. were real. Which is not a normal wish...but it is if u knows what kind of vampire im talking about...which te do. Im talking about the incredibly hot sparkly type of vampire. But u knew that already...sigh. I wish i was a vampire....if Ur a vampire u shud bites me. Except i don’t think u r a vampire cos Ur not pale...or sparkly. o hard. oh well....if i ever meet a vampire ill make sure to annoy them so much that they'll have to bite me just to shut me up. I’d probably be good at that. I can be very annoying and obsessive at times. Like right now. Although Ur probably not even Leggere this. I should save this and mostra it to my English teacher, maybe it'll get me out of that stupid energy paper, although i already wrote the whole paper so it’s kinda too late to get out of it. I think we should pubblica the notebook. It would be like that book that’s all instant messaging. Only not cos it’s a notebook, not a computer. Only our notebook prbly wouldn’t make much sense to anyone that had anything that was close to a brain (not including me u and jaide of course)...although i don’t have much of a brain right now either. My dad thinks im just pretending to type cos im typing so fast. This has only taken like ten minutes. fast fast fast fast fast fast! that’s out motto! ha-ha i should mostra him how much I’ve actually written, it would make him extremely jealous. i wonder how fast Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. can type. probably Edward could have typed this whole thing in like two seconds. oh well, im not very special da vampire standards, but i feel special for a human right now. except for the fact that i can’t think of a good idea for a book. i should just write a book about nothing! i could call it "the book about nothing" and it would sell big cos ppl would be like "ooh a book about nothing, i bet that’s interesting, i think I’ll buy it just cos it sounds interesting and i wanna read about nothing cos Leggere about something takes too much brain power and im running low on brain power right now so i think I’ll buy this book about nothing for that reason alone!" oh yes im a genius. this will be the start of my book about nothing. i will save it right now. u will be the first person ever to witness the sheer nothingness of Shawna zusicobb! u should feel very privileged that te get to anteprima my book, because it won’t be released for another anno o so...or minuto o so at the rate im going...oh yeah saving...ok saved. So…now that I think about it nothing is not so hard to come by. Actually nothing comes fairly easily to me. “you have a way of coming easily to me” sorry, I was switching into song mode there for a second, but im over it now. “im so over it” I mean it really though. Eh well, for a while anyways, I always seem to switch back to song mode over time “it’ll all get better in time”. See? There it is. It can’t stay away for too long. It always comes creeping back into my brain like a very annoying immortal slug that won’t stop sticking to my brain even when I try to make it go away. I guess that’s what happens when te listen to Musica twenty four seven. Like I do. Oh well, something’s te just have to live with, like song slugs in your brain. It’s inevitable. “it’s inevitable, sooner o later it has to come true.” See? It just won’t go away. “its all coming back to me now” ugh. I’ll just have to stick it in a cage o chain it up o something, cos I swear it won’t go away‼ huh. I guess te don’t have to have an idea to write a book. The ideas kinda just come to you. Easily. (don’t worry I won’t say “you have a way of coming easily to me”…oops, too late) whoah did u see how that just switched from a colon and a parentheses to an  ooh! So cool! That just made my day it doesn’t take much to make my day. I found that out a very long time ago. I am very easily amused, I guess. I don’t know if that’s a good thing o not. I guess it could be a good thing, if im easily amused I don’t have to be bored all the time, cos I can easily find a way to amuse myself. Huh . u sees how that worked out there? For example im staying amused right now da Scrivere this book about nothing, although my hands are starting to cramp up and that’s not fun…but anyways it’s worth it. Ugh. o maybe its not. Maybe I should stop now. Only I can’t. It’s addicting to talk about nothing, in a way. I think it’s just that te say you’re talking about nothing, but te really are talking about something cos the ideas just start coming into your brain and te can’t stop the flow. I think that that is a good thing tho, cos If u constantly has ideas coming into your head then you’ll never run out of ideas. It’s never fun when te run out of ideas. I was trying to write a book about something in particular before and that’s why it wasn’t working. Now Im Scrivere a book about nothing and the ideas just keep coming. I think that if te think to hard that your brain goes blank. Im not thinking hard at all and my brain are full to the brim…if your brain even has a brim. Does your brain have a brim? I guess not, cos your brain is pretty much closed off and circular, with a few little bumps. So I guess my brains are just full cos there is not brim, so it just keeps filling up until eventually it will explode. Eew that’s not a nice thought. Brain explosions. I can see the headlines now: Girl Found at Computer scrivania, reception with Book about Nothing, Brain Exploded All The Way up To the Ceiling. They would have to mop the ceiling and everything! That would not be a pretty sight to clean up. Oh well, my ceiling is pretty low so I think that if my brain did happen to explode all the way up to the ceiling that they would be able to reach it with a mop pretty easily. Hmmm…I wonder if whoever built this house took into consideration brain explosions when they built the ceiling. What, it’s possible!



oh yes, there will be much più of this left to come...i'll be back! myahahaha!
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i could barely read this and again this is from the internet<33
posted by EllentheStrange
Feel free to use them
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the orso wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I Amore te in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to te as much as you
enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say te understand when te don’t.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. te don’t have PMS; don’t act like te know what it’s
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get te off the hook;
doing something sweet will always get te off the hook.
7. If te talk about having a big dick; we know te don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that
want relationships.
9. We don’t like it when te act like Mr....
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posted by jessicamc26
The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to hell.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popolare guy.

One giorno God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here o I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are te going to get a lawyer?"
posted by Jeffersonian
A teacher forwarded this lista of commenti from test papers, essays, etc., inviato to science and health teachers da elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the cuore and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it...
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1 when they ask u what your name is, make a name up (like hello kitty o santino marella. o even better, if youre a girl make up a guys vice versa for da guys)

2 when they ask u what insturment u play, make up a name for your insturment

3 when u have to introduce that person, mess up, like say a stupid name and a wierd insturment they play. then explain that's what te heard when they explained it 2 you

4 wear a camicia over your uniform that makes the other teams band members offended.

5 hug them, and place a beetle INSIDE their uniform

6 bring along your little Brother/sister (if u dont hav one...
continue reading...
posted by cheeeese
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