1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When te sleep over never boss me around in letto unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If te don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” o “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If te want sex, just ask. (In case te didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only modelle are able to wear most of the stuff te see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes home and sees te in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, o just plain naked.
12. te don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank superiore, in alto are fine da us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that te may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true o not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting Amore we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. te shouldn’t be flattered o grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually più when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach te not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so doccia with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) te on superiore, in alto of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay Film with te but don’t tell our friends.
30. te can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports Film o “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as te think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one più girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced da a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much più attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. te can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when te are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of te it is because we are proud and want to mostra te off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether te want to do it with the lights on o off.
42. Whip cream and Cioccolato syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing te will ever do will entitle te to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be detto after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play più often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only secondo to critiquing our Amore making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer domande we could be castrated.
48. If te ask us to go shopping te have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your culo look fat. Your fat culo makes your culo look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.