25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If te don't straighten up, I'm going to knock te into the middle of successivo week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I detto so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me più LOGIC .


"If te fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure te wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY


"Keep crying, and I'll give te something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .


"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.


"Will te look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.


"You'll sit there until all that spinaci is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .


"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.


"If I told te once, I've told te a million times.

Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the cerchio OF LIFE.


"I brought te into this world, and I can take te out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.


"Stop recitazione like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.


"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like te do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.


"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .


"You are going to get it when te get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.


"If te don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.


"Put your sweater on; don't te think I know when te are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.


"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If te don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.


"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.


"Shut that door behind you.. Do te think te were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .


"When te get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One giorno you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."