random Article: Chuck Norris Jokes (when I say that I mean facts)

5

Chuck Norris Jokes (when I say that I mean facts)

posted by Invader-Tak

(CREATED da RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

Chuck Norris can cancella the Recycling Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused da Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris can strangle te with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris once had a cuore attack; his cuore lost.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)

deathding, lalaland101 and 3 others like this

Invader-Tak I only posted this because me and my group of friends were joking about Chuck Norris. LOL :D

Delilah_Scruggs LOL. I love them! A couple I had heard before but not most of them. :D

Invader-Tak If you know more, tell me, I can add them on!

silvaze9 chuck norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries

-BlazeTheCat- Chuck Norris can ignore Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak's girth.

8

131 Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter

posted by Thecharliejay

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter libri and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from te (Example: When in a car o an elevator). If te don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Natale and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their preferito song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox...

3

what women should tell men...but don't

posted by bubbletl

What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, you...

5

Respectfully Cheating

posted by karpach_14

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have te ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would te ask such a domanda now? te don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when te were 35 years old and te really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give te a loan? Remember how one giorno the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no domande asked?"

"Oh, Betty, te did that for me!...

5

ABC's of ex girlfriends

posted by karpach_14

A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for te te twit she was only after your money and could have dato a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...

1

My Job Sucks

posted by smileypop9

I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can te guess whose and what job it is?

You think your job sucks? Let me tell te about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair o putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The successivo chick is exactly the opposite- she might even...

1

The Shaggy Cani Theme

posted by coolkatstar

I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" o "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He detto "I'd like to have one too." Then I detto "But this is a dog". He detto he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He detto I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for...

1

Calliope Channel episode 9

posted by invadercalliope

CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can te believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how te respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!

6

Bumble Bee Lyrics

posted by invadercalliope

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what te want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee più than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My cuore skips a beat
When te walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with te until the end

I give my cuore and my soul to you
To make te see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant te see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what te want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...

1

Calliope Channel episode 6

posted by invadercalliope

CAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEE
CHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEELLLL!
Hia everyone I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
TIME FOR THE SIX EPISODE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I hope te are getting use to this mostra cuz I am!
Well todays specail guest is......Angry monkey!
Angry Monkey:Gir
Invader Calliope:Did te say something!
Angry Monkey:Uh nothing s-sorry.
Invader Calliope:Well it looks like the Angry Monkey is'nt use to interviews!He must be nervous because of all the people watching!
Angry Monkey:*scared*
Invader Calliope:So anyway wait we are all outta time well BYE EVERYONE!I hope te enjoy the picture!
The End!

2

Calliope Channel episode 4

posted by invadercalliope

CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE te AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING te 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST stella, star IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T te EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO te BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF o I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the mostra earlyer!Bye!
The End

3

InvaderCalliope on a trip to the beach!

posted by invadercalliope

Today i am going to make up a crazy story about me going to the beach!
Characters:
Me::InvaderCalliope*
InvaderGore: *my sister*
Mom: *my mother*
Dad: *My dad*
Brother: *my brother*
Gus: *my ferret*
Time to start!
*At home*
InvaderCalliope:*reading manga*
InvaderGore:*watching tv*
Gus:*sleeping*
Mom:KIDS WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH!
Dad:what about me
Mom:Sorry but your staying home and watching the fish!
Gus:YAY I'M GOING!
InvaderCalliope:Well this will be intresting.
InvaderGore:What are we riding?
Mom:WE ARE GOING da TRAIN!
Everyone elese:O_O
InvaderCalliope:Why don't we just go da car.
Mom:BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO BYE CAR!
InvaderCalliope: Ok,Ok
On Train
Now at the beach!
InvaderGore:Were finally here!
InvaderCalliope:Let's have some fun!
Gus:YEAH!
The End!

2

a random song

posted by trentgwenfan1

i Amore cereal yes i do

i Amore cereal how bout you

coco pufe

ceriose

cookie crisp

wasting cerial is a risk

i Amore cerial yes i do i Amore cerial te better to

it is breakfast

most important meal

if te can't have crealeal

do not steal

i Amore creal yes we do i Amore ceral te should to

it is healfy

for your brain

for test math and englesh

even frech and science

i Amore ccerale yes i do

i Amore crealy how about you

me and my firend made this up what are some random songs te made up plz commet

1

11. SURE things yOU wish yuor boyfriend didnt know about you!!!

posted by neonstars

1.where te keep yOUR diary!!
2.if u r on your peroid o nawt!!
3.Who te talk 2 on the phone
4.THat te are super jelous o other girls (or boys)
5.That te hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up te will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That te have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart te are at fixing things.

GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!

I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!

3

What Business Brand Slogans Taught Me

posted by KittyTDA98

1.    Kobalt Tools taught me that te can’t kill a Kobalt.
2.    Home Depot taught me that the power of the home Depot is più saving and più doing.
3.    Burger King taught me to have it my way.
4.    Tony the Tiger taught me that Frosted Flakes are più than good, they’re great!
5.    Nike taught me to just do it.
6.    Disneyland taught me that it’s the happiest place on Earth.
7.    McDonald’s taught me that I’m loving it.
8.    Sprite...

5

A severe warning of a perverted fanpopper te should all stay away from! :O

posted by K5-HOWL

esah

because he's a stupid perverted boy. I was having a normal conversation with him then he out of the blue accused me of "wanting to be with him" of not being a virgin. Repeatedly insulted me(i wont repeat what he said) and tried to "seduce" me. And now hes trying to flirt with me

Yes K5-HOWL has Lost her mind because of the sick bitches in this world,

This is just a simple warning thing. This is not to be cruel just to warn fellow fanpoppers of who to stay away from.

-___- He just gave his phone number, that ticks me off. I will post aggiornamenti if te want :)

1

part to of ~haunted~ ~hell~ ~house~ ~HHH~

posted by CUTEDXC

me-i ran as fast as a could i forgot there was stairs so i fall so hard i went right threw the floor and in to the basement i cant get out HELP sence i cant get out i had to explore the basement and girl/or boy te do not want to be down there *slap fingers*

only for più hours and my Friends will come and get me i hope so :( i kept walking till i saw it there behind the certin as the wind was blowing it a cat that poor cat must of died of hunger i had to something so i went up to it and i could hear in a low voice but still freaky get away from MY body
there was no way i could have yelled i...

2

your Amore is suicide( original song)

posted by outsidersfan_14

i hope te like it..s not my best work but its pretty good. exspecially when i play it on gutair.its the first articolo i put on here so plz commento , honestly, and say if i should put more??thanks!sorry about the bad format

YOur lvoe is suicide(title)

I know te amy not understand
but if te can
please understand
I see te underestimate me
all i can be
please try to see

If i turn around just for a minute
what would te say? take this away
If i told te how i feel, would it be real o is this all fake??

Chourus: your Amore is suicide, all trapped inside-inside my mind. It trys to escape , to...

3

Rain, sunshine and licerish!(read while listenning to Your body's a wonderland-JohnMayer)

posted by 555YJ

i was sad one day
i was walking in the street
feeling sad and alone
the boy i have a crush on is my first best friend
and my other best friend
who's also a boy
to wich i say everything to
has a crush on me and just admited it
i was walking in the strada, via
feeling sad and alone
my house is a little farther
and i'm actually enjoying the nice breeze
i take my ipod out of my jeans pocket
and put john mayer's your body is a wonderland
and i buy some licerish
and i turn the volume up
and start dancing in the street
i get farther from home
to a little hill
and i sleep on the ground lookin up
there's no one successivo to me
i...

5

seasolnal festivals !!

posted by aya3

it is some traditions...it is useful to know it...^_^
1st:SUMMER:
every anno people build bonfires on hilltops all over Cornwall in the south_west of england these fires are a celebration of summer and they lit on the night after the summer solstice(on 22 June). the ceremony isn`t performed in English it is performed in Cornish , an old Celtic language.

2nd: SPRING:
the helston `furry(floral) dance` is one of the oldest festivals in england it takes place in hellstone an old Cornish town ,it celebrates the coming of the spring the `dance` is procession throw the narrow streets of the town the men...

2

Pie ay ay(the pie song).

posted by Jamie38459

Piyaiyai, Piyaiyai, Piyaiyai eat them till u cry[reapeat][1st verse] The empty pie tins, were 1st known as frisbees, spinning,spinning it makes me dizzy. They look shiny, reflects toward the sun, yes bakeries, R our number 1. [chorus] Pie ay ay, I'm a birdie who likes pies, throw little pecks, straight down in2 peoples eyes. Pie ay ay, I'm a birdie who likes pies, keep throwin them, at the cogs until they die. [verse 2] Now they have a bakery, they got all of the treats, all of the snacks, look good enough 2 eat. From cakes to brownies, biscotti, cookie and pie, colorful, fruitful, tasty deserts oh my! [repeat chorus] piyaiyaiyai, piyaiyaiyai, piyaiyai eat them til cry[repeat]. [wait 4 about 30 secs, then repeat verse 1, and then repeat the chorus twice, and then wait 4 about 8 seconds] Pie ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, eat them all up till ur so full u could cry. THE END, hope u liked it(and sang it rite).