I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if te do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With squalo Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
più than 99% of squalo attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if te are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that te can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person successivo to te with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as te spot a shark- furiously stab the person successivo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as te can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every squalo has a theme song. If te here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a squalo has got you. At this late stage te are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the spiaggia do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With squalo Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
più than 99% of squalo attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if te are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that te can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person successivo to te with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as te spot a shark- furiously stab the person successivo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as te can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every squalo has a theme song. If te here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a squalo has got you. At this late stage te are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the spiaggia do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Justin
Selena
In the weekend’s least shocking development, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry locked lips. Crazy, right?! (And da crazy, I mean not crazy at all.)
Cyrus was Canto the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. concerto when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised da her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
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Perry postato an after-shot of the baciare on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore te @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
Cyrus was Canto the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. concerto when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised da her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
GET più EW: Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!
Perry postato an after-shot of the baciare on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore te @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
