If Mr. fagiolo was in Avatar

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable. "10-4 Good Buddy!"

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line andyou're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give your address and exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their domande with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on superiore, in alto this time.

10. Do not...

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed da anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me da people who actually believe that if te send them on, then that poor 6 anno old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do te honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give te and everyone te send...