Randomness(=

There used to be a strada, via named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle te with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then te can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the birra gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

In a pub quiz the other giorno I Lost da one point. The domanda was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other domande was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that mela, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing negozio that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardiere jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly popolare with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming più common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us da our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service scrivania, reception and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid o a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

I'm putting two funny articoli together in one, hope te enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I Amore deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would te know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what te need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy orso on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some Cibo while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the cucina and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the cucina was when Tina got home she saw what the cucina was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their home the Teddy orso was hiding in the cucina cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 minuto power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course te sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the superiore, in alto off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are te discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, secondo i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her cintura serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got home my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started Leggere it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 secondo later i hear my mother scream off the superiore, in alto of her lungs LILLY GET te BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she detto uuummm my homework...

..... random Facts .....

If te have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, te have $1.19. te also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

Barbra Streisand

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Barbra Streisand

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Barbra Streisand

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Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
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owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids da their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no te ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...

Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these Citazioni are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring te back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in Amore and te get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the Amore te have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...

1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are te OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's Halloween go to the costume section and grab a Halloween bag and go up to a random person and say "Trick o treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if te know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher carrello and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When te see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...