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Here is a random game I saw online. Just think of random ways te can kicked out of Wal-Mart
(Don't try this for real life!)

1) Take all of the drinks te can find and open them up, spilling them onto the ground

2) (my Friends do this, they are so stupid!) Go up to random people, touch them, and say "Tag, your it!" and run

3) Run through the store yelling, "Virgin alert! Virgin alert! All men periscopes down!"

4) Run around the store and hide between displays, clothes, and aisles Canto the mission impossible theme song

5) hide in the clothing rackets and when people come over to check the cloths...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK OFF

If te can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying da the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If te pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.


For those of te who have lived in New Mexico, te know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced...
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posted by MissChicky97
User: I'm the Doctor. I'm a timelord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people below.

Cleverbot: No you're not. You're saying random stock phrases which have no relevance whatsoever to what I say to you.

User: What? WHAT? WHAT?!?!?!

Cleverbot: How is you?

User: I'm trying to save the world and the TARDIS pulled up some random application.

Cleverbot: That is impossible. te have no means to do so. te cannot feel emotion.

User: OI! I can feel emotions. I'm not completely alien te know!!...
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Slam a guy in the head with hungary's pan,make gilbird peck someone,Throw a vodka bottle on someones head,Yell pasta,Find someone in a pomodoro box,Shoot someone with germany's gun,Show your disgust through the piano,Romano headbash/choke somebody,Buy plenty of sausages at the mart,Call someone Romano/Italy style,give dirty libri for christmas,ask england to marry you,get a granchio stuck in your head,Make bad tea,whip your hair back and forth with france,Eat Too many burgers,talk to panda man,Order the ''F*ck box", Get kidnapped too many times,Float through the air screaming Vodka,Eat pasta with...
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To explain, as I originally put it:

This is Bunny. He's very bloody. If te get Bloody Bunny, he'll slowly eat your soul. To pass the curse on, give this to someone else. Tear it up/destroy it/throw it away and Bloody Bunny will murder you.

^I created it. It should also have a drawing of a bunny, with one eyes gouged out sitting on its back, a knif in the temple, and blood under the gouged out eye area and coming from the ear above the none-gouged out eye to the superiore, in alto of that eye. It should be splattered in blood.


HERE ARE THINGS TO DO WITH BLOODY BUNNY IN PUBLIC PLACES, ANYWHERE:


1. Leave it on...
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posted by pure-angel
    Time and spazio are fragments of the infinite for the use of finite creatures.
Henri Frederic Amiel

Dost thou Amore life, then do not squander time,
for that's the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Time in its aging course teaches all things.
Aeschylus

Make use of time, let not advantage slip.
William Shakespeare

One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while te try to hold down the other.
Chinese Proverb

You will never "find" time for anything. If te want time, te must make it.
Charles Bruxton

I recommend te take care of the minuti and...
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posted by EppofangirlXD
I found this and found it hilarious:

"The Metric System
"Walks like a foot, talks like a foot, but it's really 30.48 centimeters."
Admit it: America is really screwed up when it comes to measuring anything. We waste a ton of time in school learning our totally whack system. And of course nobody ever remembers how it all works. Who (besides me) knows:

How many ounces in a gallon? (128)
How many inches in a mile? (63,360)
How many acres in a square mile? (625)
How many scruples in a pound? (288)
How many minims in a pint? (7,680)

Okay, those last two were kind of cheating. They don't even try to teach...
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain te understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help te concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, te can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help te concentrate. If your friend shows te his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders,...
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posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEE
CHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEELLLL!
Hia everyone I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
TIME FOR THE SIX EPISODE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I hope te are getting use to this mostra cuz I am!
Well todays specail guest is......Angry monkey!
Angry Monkey:Gir
Invader Calliope:Did te say something!
Angry Monkey:Uh nothing s-sorry.
Invader Calliope:Well it looks like the Angry Monkey is'nt use to interviews!He must be nervous because of all the people watching!
Angry Monkey:*scared*
Invader Calliope:So anyway wait we are all outta time well BYE EVERYONE!I hope te enjoy the picture!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST stella, star ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
please forgive
what I've done
my sin
lies,hits,words,suicide,murder
and more.

why?
why do we lie?
why do we hit?
why do we kill?
why is the domanda
for one and all
the sins
my sins
the sin's of people
the anger
the lie's

why is the domanda to ask
pain,sorrow and every emotion
the cuore feels can be forgiven
but some can not be forgiven
some won't be forgiven
and those are sins
forever burned within your heart
never to be erased


that's how I feel
this is for those
who have someone
who won't forgive
your sin
don't drive that person
away.

Because i did and now
my sin
has been
burned
da the flames of hell
never to return
and I'm deeply
sorry.
posted by keEeEeToOo
The adventure began when Jenny sat successivo to a gian ear.
"I'm too hot and tired to go any further!"
she said. "We left the oasis hours ago. It's time for a rest." She put her bag on the hot rock beside her and then exclaimed, "Look at this! It's an anormous ear!"
She stood up and brushed a little sand off the rock. "Here's an eye... and down here, there's a nose. It's a huge face!"
Uncle Jim was amazed. "It's a head of a statue," he said. "But why is it here, in the middle of the desert?"
Pete was looking at the ground. "These big flat stones look like a floor," he said.
He stepped onto the first stone....
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1.I don't want a boy to be cool!I just want him to threat me nice.
2.A boy has to be mature and take this relationship like it's something serious
3.I can't stand a boy who commenti and says bad things about my Friends (no matter if they are boys o girls)
4.It's okay for a boy to watch cartoons,but I don't like when he watches porn.
5.I don't mind if a boy plays video games but he still has to mostra his head in the real world
6.It's not a problem if a boy accidentally touches me...on the...well...boobs...But Accidentaly!If our relationship is really strong (say about 7 months) then I can allow him!...
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Miley doesn't want her parents to break up, and this may be why she is recitazione the way she is.

Although Miley wants them to stay together, it looks as though the things that sperate Tish and Billy are più than those that bring them together.

Even Billy Ray, Miley's father, has told her to give up on trying to bring he her mom back together again. He has detto that is is not going to work.

“You’ve got to stop trying to get us back together. Our marriage isn’t fixable — we are getting divorced,” Billy told his superstar daughter.

“You’ve always taught me that te have to work hard...
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posted by EllentheStrange
1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the superiore, in alto of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy orso and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. te hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as te can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say te were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a random person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive te cheated on me with that whore" and point to a random girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If te are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If te are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz o dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
posted by ShiningsTar542
This is a yummy and easy recipe. Perfect for a summer treat!

Here is what te are going to need to make the pie:

* 1 sm. pkg. limone Jello
* 1 tall can evaporated milk
* 2 eggs,
* 1 c. sugar
* 1 1/2 c. pineapple succo, succo di frutta

First, beat eggs in a large pot add then add sugar and pineapple juice.

Then ask an adult for help. Mixing, bring sauce to a boil. Remove from heat and add limone Jello.

Then, cool in a pan of water o ice (about 1 hour).

Put evaporated latte in the largest miscelatore bowl and set into freezer until ice forms around edges. Then whip in miscelatore until stiff peaks form.

Now te are half way there.

successivo add the first mixture that has been cooling, in a slow stream and continue to beat until all is mixed together.

Pour into 2 (9") pie crust (or use vanilla crust).

Ready to eat? Not yet! Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.

Yum!
XD XD
posted by shomill
respect- sit down, shut up, and treat the other person like a god/goddess no matter how they really act

love- being nice to someone all the time, even when they obviously can't stand te and and te and them both would be much happer if te weren't together

loyalty- sticking around for no reason, except possibly that you're too insecure to leave

faith- belief in something even in a complete absence of proof

hope- no matter how impossible your wishes seem, you're stupid enough to keep wishing

cynic- a realist, hardened da a lifetime of emotional bondage
posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a fan of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I Amore and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of te for the rest of my life :)

I Amore te all! Have a beautiful, wonderful giorno :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
added by Dream-On
I do think that te probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add più to the lista when I find più sites I think te should probably avoid. So if anyone sends te links to the following sites, te have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad da the name of the url but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS te ARE A SICKO I ADVISE te NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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