Beauty of nature

ciao this is the 5th episode of Nick Reviews! This is a very special review, as I shall review the most evil company...Video Brinquedo! Why is it evil? Takes plagiarizes every good kids movie! Here are some examples.

Offender #1: Gladiformers.

Do I even need to explain this one? It's a Transformers knock off that doesn't come from the Dollar Tree/Store.

link

Offender #2: Ratatoing

This movie rips off Ratatouille, a Pixar film. It pretty much has the worst animation, a terrible plot, and the voices are terrible.

Offender #3: Little and Big Monsters

Oh gosh, this rips off Monsters vs Aliens. The monsters...

(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason detto hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason detto letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...

Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether o not te are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* te are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* te are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* te are, most likely, an idiot.
* te have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five minuti o so. Memorize...

from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the successivo car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The più it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...

Man: Where have te been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen te someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this sede, sedile empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if te sit down.

Man: Your place o mine?
Woman: Both. te go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do te do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: ciao baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do te like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

The following dumb laws are, o were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before te go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if te bail off and do something stupid o try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...

Amore and Marriage:

"If falling in Amore is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where te have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an Arrow o something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how te smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...

Just randomly found this:

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can te fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit successivo to te because te invisible...

Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned da their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their home in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded da mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...

1. te can do whatever te damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. te can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. te can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. te don't having to think about birth control, calendars o ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. te can go out and flirt as much as your cuore desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet sede, sedile issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between te and the people in front of te while waiting in line.
Every time te pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind te in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let te off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, o pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...