Sketchy Beginnings
Tawni: Yes, sprinkle us with your Wisconsin funny dust.

Tawni: We Don't want to hear your cheers. Not your sis, not your boom, and not your ba.
Sonny: But what if I have a really awesome baa?

West coast story
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, te were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your mostra too much. te know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of te to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed da a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because te wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?

Chad: te know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!

Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for te on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.

Sonny: My problem is everything my friends...and Tawni told me about te was true.

Sonny at the falls
Sonny Munroe: This is last te will see of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: Yeah.

Nico: We have names!
Chad: Yeah, but remembering them would take effort and interest and...excuse

Zora: Why is Zac Efron up there?
Chad: Because it's my wall,and I like saying I banned Zac Efron.

Sonny: te wanna know what I think about that? I'll tell te what I think about that...... TAKE WHAT te CAN AND RUN!!!

Grady: this is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her... not that i watch it
Nico: not that i watch it either, but that was never an episode.

You've got fan mail
Sonny: Why are te helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a werid beard.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Beards.
Chad: Cares.
Sonny: Gotcha!

Tanwi: Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.

Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are te Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do te care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a fan letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the fan I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would te write yourself a fan letter?
Sonny: Because I Lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. te start doubting your abilities, wondering whether te were good enough and whether te deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made te think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!

Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my fan mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: te committed mail fraud!
Tawni: te committed fan fraud!
Sonny: fan fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!

Cheater girls
Tawni: Are te insulting me with geometry?

Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing te at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd Amore to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So te were the no? te were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale o a Montana.

Fast Friends
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my preferito member of So Random.
Sonny: Really?
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago te are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving Cani towards bowls of Cibo that I lovingly lay out for them. te know why I Amore puppies.

Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.

Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!

Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Chad: Sonny.
Sonny: Chad.
Chad: Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny: Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased da bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston tè Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my mostra brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my mostra has viewers.

James Conroy: te know, for something te detto was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, te know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.

Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! (Bart comes out)
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. (sirens go)
Tawni: What is your mostra even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our Natale episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do te want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are te wearing a bib?
Chad: te jealous?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do te want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never detto I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care!

Sonny: Do te really think I would baciare you?
Chad: Well, that's what I'm putting on my blog. (Rolls across cantine floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!

Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: Yeah, we, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.

Sonny and the Studio Brat
Tawni: [holding up magazine mostrare MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do te see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing.
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!

Chad: (Chad's voicemail) ciao you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if te were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream

Dakota: (looks at Mackenzie falls poster) Mackenzie Falls shoots here. I had no idea. I Amore Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper.

Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at te for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, te brought my precious Angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at te too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.

Promises, Prom-misses
Sonny: Well, Chad, te were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? Because sometimes, I heard, te get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Sonny smiles and takes a headphone]
[they start slow dancing]
Sonny: This is sweet.
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: te gonna press play?
Chad: Oh, right.

Chad: Oh ciao Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, (Sonny turns around) They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't te exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if te think it's so dumb, then maybe te and your little snobby Friends at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: te only uninvited me because I just detto I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.

Sonny: I can't believe I missed it! (bumps into Chad)
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like te either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've Streghe#The power of three you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my data turns out to be my long Lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! te know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head da a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: te know what Chad? te wouldn't know real romance if it punched te in the face. In fact te wouldn't know a real punch, punzone in the face if it punched te in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
Sonny: Good!
(Sonny walks in omaggio house)
Sonny: Good!
Chad: (on phone) Good.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good
Sonny: Good! and goodbye! (hangs up cell phone) Chad says hi!

Sonny: Chad? What are te doing here? te weren't invited.
Chad: Oh te see, I was invited, but I didn't wanna go, so then I got uninvited so now I had to go. (walks into prom)
Sonny: No no no no no no no. (blocks him) You're not going into my prom before I do

Marshall: Sweetheart, look, I have nothing against proms, but if I let te have a prom I have to give in to everybody.Nico gets his carnival, Grady gets his puppet show. We'll all be living in Tawnitown. Is that what te want? Do te want to be living in Tawni town?
Sonny: I... hear it's a heck of a town?

Sonny: Ok, I think we've detto it enough times. (grins) We're having a secret prom!
Grady: Ah, how come te got to say it again?
Sonny: Because I wrote the book.
Tawni: I thought te checked out a book?
Grady: Oh, wait, I'm confused.
Sonny: (sighs) Ok, there's no book, but we're having a prom.
Nico: A secret prom though?
Sonny: Yes. Are we all on the same page?!
Grady: Whoa, wait. There's a page??
Sonny: (throws hands up in frustration) Really?!

The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then te and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to lookout mountain with you. That's a data place.
Chad: Do te want them broken up?
Sonny: Yes.
Chad: Pick te up at eight. (winks at sonny)
Sonny: (smiles)

Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshal?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Makenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh..This is your plan? This isn't real; this is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Chad: Exactly!
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST mostra I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless te like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!

Sonny: With this.(holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?

Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions!Got any questions?(Grady raises his hand)Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch,I'm kinda full,do I still have to eat the instructions?
Sonny: Yes.
Grady: Well can te put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No!
Grady: Cookies?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) te wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.

Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want te to come between it,I want te to crush it!

Battle of the Network Stars
Selena: [Through megaphone] te TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do te really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do te really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine.
Sonny: Good.
Chad: Good.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set te up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. te got the part.

Sonny:Sorry it's just...this is the type of thing Chad does just to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.

Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in Amore with me, I beg you!
Sonny: (rolls her eyes)
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting te was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Ok CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes te up! (glares at Chad)and remember that te hate him! te just really, really hate him! (Chad glares at sonny) Action. (walks off set)
Chad: Sonny-
Sonny: Oh and one più thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART!(Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone) CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: te stop the lying!
Chad: te stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!

(Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.)
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha--- (Tawni slaps him and walks out)
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?

Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes Take That Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In Your Face Gomez!

Tales From The omaggio House
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we talk this out like normal people? He detto he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Cast: (screams)&(Hides)
Chad: So what do te wanna discuss?

Sonny: Oh. It's a signed picture...of you.
Chad: look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad!

Sonny's In The cucina With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden baciare on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The Amore of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE baciare HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told te it was the baciare cam!
Nico: Sonny...
Sonny: IT WAS THE baciare CAM!

(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Chad: Freeze!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an ora and rushed right over!

Chad: te mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the stella, star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. te have the best tasting sandwich, panino in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the secondo ticket) te wanna go for three?
Sonny: Can't.
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)

Sonny In The Middle
Sonny: Oh, ciao Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usally WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.

Sonny: (Bumps in the bacheca and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool seat.(rolls away on chair)

Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star
Chad: And finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!

Chad: Now I know what you're doing; te don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are te talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! te had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no te and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting Lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) te know what?! I will not baciare you! Not in a million years! te and I don't baciare not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) te two are gonna kiss!

Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, te know we're gonna be in love.
Sonny: We?
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I detto you.
Sonny: te detto we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?

Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe te didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have te know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking!
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)

Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: ciao Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything te want!

Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd Amore to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?

Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) te had me at greatest actor of this generation.

Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, te will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would te o your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: te know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!

Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?

Sonny: te know what the joker's right.

Sonny so far
(Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen) (shows a clip of Chad and Sonny)
Tawni: Whoa.
Sonny: Where did te get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know te were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Makenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show.....GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? te 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of te of a little something, something going on... care to comment?

Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: Yeah, the guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: te know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! (Sonny looks at him) Wha-oh no, te were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
(Sonny and Chad on the monitor)
Sonny: I mean, what if it's something like us, liking each other...
Chad: Yeah, I mean don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: yeah,Do te have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean this time there's no cameras o anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. (Chad smiles at her) te go first!
Chad: No te go first.
Sonny: No te g- ok same time.
Chad: Yeah.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, 2 and a half?
(Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera)

Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: ciao Chad. Did te hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, te are very inspiring,thats why I Amore te sonny.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah, I meant te inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could te be against libri Chad ?
Chad: That's easy. The più te read, the less te watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause Chad, To get people to watch più TV? your are such a jerk.
Chad: Are te not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see te at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell te Sonny. We're gonna raise più money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: Not buy books.
Sonny: That makes no sense.
Chad: Aah. Guess all that Leggere you're doing isn't making te any smarter now, is it? See ya.

Chad: We're gonna look hotter than te at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is whats hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.

Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell te something, in case I don't make it.
Sonny: Okay.
Chad: I love...
Sonny: Yes?
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that più kids are Leggere less libri because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) cuscino in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws cuscino at Chad and walks over to the doctor)

Chad: Give it to me straight, doctor! I can take it.
Doctor: te have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leaving Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! lbs is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what te are going to gain if te don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't te just cut my pants off? te know how te do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while te were under.
Chad: NO! What did te do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: I got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)

Sonny: We have to make this work.The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us,is if we wear her jeans,because her fan will see her on TV,us wearing her jeans,sell her più jeans,raise più money for books,and less money for no books, and everyone wins except Chad!

Nico: We're gonna need a butt-horn for the butt-horn,'cause this baby ain't coming out.
Sonny:(to Tawni) About the butt-horn, te might want to re-think the placement of your face.

Tawni: I'd rather crawl hot then walk ugly.

Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until te apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, te apologize. It's the cerchio of life (Pretends to draw a cerchio in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about te (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are te doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)

Sonny: Let Tawni have her fancy european adventure,let her be mobbed da adoring fans,let her be wooed da gorgeous boy with accents...
Marshal: Pushed te out,didn't she?
Sonny: Yeah.

Gassie Passes
Sonny: (to Gassie) te know, I used to have a dog just like te in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... o Limpy. o Blindy. But, te know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too!

Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the erba is plastic and the trees are cardboard(through the bull-horn)THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that cespuglio, bush over there wont kill it.

(looking at the Gassie & We movie poster)
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.

(lunch-box lets out a farting sound)
Sonny: Gross! te want people to buy that and then put Cibo in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.

Dakota: te have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if te Lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador!(Grady hands her to Nico)
Nico: Hola?

Chad: te just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do te do? AND ACTION!

Sonny with a Song
Chad: "Bangs and Fangs" we all get awesome hair and get bitten da vampires.
Nico: Is your mostra written da monkeys?

Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Sonny: Spiders.
Chad: Not the little ones.
Sonny: Heights.
Chad: Not the little ones.


To be continued....
P.S.
Sorry if there are any mistakes.The things I wrote were the Citazioni I remembered. Feel free to correct the mistakes in the commento section and feel free to add some of your fav. SWAC quotes.