I heard this chat-up line somewhere:
"I wish I was your algebra homework cuz then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk"

Sorry about the language but I recently heard it and I pissed myself laughing

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

Sorry, if that's offensive to anyone, you need my mind :)

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Haha! Those are good!

worst jokes on the internet?

How did the telephones get married ?
In a double ring ceremony !

Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
He wanted a higher education !

Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !

Do you know the time ?
No, we haven't met yet !

What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !

What runs but never walks ?
Water !

How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !

Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A jelly copter !

Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
Then why aren't you laughing !

Why did the clock get sick ?
It was run down !

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