What women should tell men...but don't
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, te wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The successivo time te make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused da rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do te and your Friends keep track of 'who's easy'?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if te look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' preferito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If te must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then te never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know te can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises o promotions were gained da arm wrestling the boss.
If te don't read this, someone else wil
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, te wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The successivo time te make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused da rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do te and your Friends keep track of 'who's easy'?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if te look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' preferito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If te must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then te never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know te can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises o promotions were gained da arm wrestling the boss.
If te don't read this, someone else wil
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted salmone (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed riso in a riso bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the riso won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed riso on your hand and put your preferito filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled salmone on the rice. Push the filling into the riso lightly. Hold the riso between your palms. Form the riso into a round, a triangle, o a cylinder da pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the riso ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. avvolgere the riso ball with a strip of nori o sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly da americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: te got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I Amore it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if te call right now we will also send te a what ever te call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 più dollers shiping and handleing! te GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever te call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever te call it have te credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: te got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I Amore it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if te call right now we will also send te a what ever te call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 più dollers shiping and handleing! te GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever te call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever te call it have te credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL giorno BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST stella, star IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all te have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! GIR EVERYONE LOVES te THE MOST te HAVE THE MOST fan GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!