random Article: what women should tell men...but don't

3

posted by bubbletl

What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, te wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The successivo time te make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused da rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do te and your Friends keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if te look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' preferito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If te must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then te never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know te can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises o promotions were gained da arm wrestling the boss.
If te don't read this, someone else wil

deathding, SheWolf11 and 1 other like this

WolfPred That's...enlightening. As a young man I can say i'll watch myself around women from now on.

BlindBandit92 You shouldn't generalize AT all. I'm a guy and I "actually" change my underwear. And I'm pretty sure most women aren't the type you're describing. Everybody's different. Oh well. At least I know better NOT to date the type of girl you're describing.

10

Funny Joke!

posted by Shelly_McShelly

A husband went to the doctor and tells the doctor
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond sposta 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got home and found the wife preparing cena and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 più feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she risposte back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"

7

Amore o Not?!!!

posted by Bibelot

Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic secondo line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...

'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying te simply demolished my life.

I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.

I Amore your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'

10

50 random Questions:

posted by ase

1. Do te like pie?

2. Are you, o have te ever been a squirrel?

3. Are te afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are te a people person o a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have te ever wondered what it would be like if te were an apple?

7. Have te ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can te get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have te ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have te ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do te have a sword handy?

14. Do te like pie?

15. Am I weird...

14

15+ Ways To Annoy Your Dad!

posted by zanesaaomgfan

1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him te met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do te listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him da his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your preferito guy[If te hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson o some who te like ALLOT!]

9. Come home saying te found your true...

3

superiore, in alto 59 Jewish Ghetto names

posted by fencingrocks

No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If te want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...

Mary Mary Quite Contrary meaning

posted by 1-2vampire

The Brittish Nursery Rhyme about Bloody Mary - Mary Tudor - o Mary I.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row

We thought it was about a girl named Mary who liked gardening o something - WRONG.

It is in fact about Mary Tudor, or, più commenly reffered to as Bloody Mary.

Contrary - Means changing things just for the sake of it (Mary Tudor changed Britain back into a Roman Catholic country after her father and her brother changed it into a Protestant way)

How does your Garden Grow? - Mary wanted a baby very badly, but she...

3

Hmm...

added by ladolcevita

Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last

57

Things to do that Freak Parents Out (WARNING: ATTEMPT AT YOUR OWN RISK!)

posted by wolfgrrl

1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are te doing?", say, "What are te doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the divano until te give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant...

3

superiore, in alto 60 Ghetto Bible Names

posted by TDAPlayer158

link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS

80

How Sexy Is Your Name?

posted by blaise_jez

I found this on the internet.
Add up all of the letters in your first
name using this:
A=100 N=450
B=14 O=80
C=9 P=2
D=28 Q=12
E=145 R=400
F=12 S=113
G=3 T=405
H=10 U=1
I=200 V=10
J=100 W=10
K=114 X=3
L=100 Y=210
M=25 Z=23

60 points and under= not sexy
From 61 to 300 points= not too sexy
From 301 to 599 points= pretty sexy!
From 600 to 1000 points= very sexy!
From 1000 to 1500 points= very, very sexy!
1501 points and over= very, very, very sexy!

Example
Carly {my name}
C A R L Y
9 + 100 + 400 + 100 + 210= 819 points
819 points = very sexy!

129

20 Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate

posted by slytherin360

found this on the net:

20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall bacheca and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say, “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold!"

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh sh*t, my glass eye!!"

6. Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that color before,. . ."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 secondi and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly....

139

50 Ways to Annoy People at the Movies!

posted by wild-bby

The List

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can te fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
——————————————————————————————————-
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m...

14

Facts of the USA Did te know......

posted by patrisha727

1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last anno met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the superiore, in alto of a grattacielo it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued da the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popolare domestic trip activity da American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...

2

Boarding School (drama piece)

posted by EmzLovesCheryl

Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started Scrivere it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if te don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest te don't read it. :)

[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your Friends and either forget all about us o tell a story about the hideous freak te met tonight. te don’t know me, if te did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have Friends - except my brother....